How do you deal with not having kids yet?

[optimistic]

My b/f and I don't have any kids yet together, he has one and I have none at all. I'm 27 and do want kids. He hasn't been sentenced yet so we don't know the time frame we are looking at. I am still exercising my faith that the Lord will shine on this situation. But you can't help but have thoughts that make you think...what if... How do those of you with no kids deal with the reality that if you wait there may be no kids? I have thought about adoption and foster parenting because there are so many children without loving homes but still I want to experience one of my own.

[marcsbaby]

I will be 26 years old when he gets out...I am 22 now...I had always said that I wanted kids by the time I am 25, but I have to wait...I think I just trust that God is in control and knows what He is doing and when Marc comes home, we will have all of the kids we need!!! Good luck to you!

[babieboo]

Well this may sound crazy but I am enjoying my freedom. All my girlfriends who have kids tell me to take advantage of this time in my life because I really dont have any responsibilities besides taking care of myself. I have 3 cats but thats about it. My soon to be husband and I will have kids on the Lord's time, not mine. So I am cool with it.

[TNC]

Originally Posted by optimistic

My b/f and I don't have any kids yet together, he has one and I have none at all. I'm 27 and do want kids. He hasn't been sentenced yet so we don't know the time frame we are looking at. I am still exercising my faith that the Lord will shine on this situation. But you can't help but have thoughts that make you think...what if... How do those of you with no kids deal with the reality that if you wait there may be no kids? I have thought about adoption and foster parenting because there are so many children without loving homes but still I want to experience one of my own.

I cant answer your question completely because I have kids of my own, but he doenst have any and I cant have more. I have often wondered if he will some day want a child of his own. If so then am I the right one for him. I would love to have a baby with him and it hurts me more so then it hurts him that I cant, but he tells me all the time that loving and having me is more important. If this is your true sole mate then you have two choices. 1) Move on with someone else who you can have children with, but may not ever love and be as happy with as the one you are with now or 2)Give up the chance to have a child with someone else to stay with your sole mate.

Its heartbreaking to think about the fact that you may never share that bond together, but at the same time its a easy choice. I would rather not have kids with him then not have him at all. I know that he feels the same way

[Jen661]

Oh man can I relate! I am 25 and in my mind I would have already been married by now and kids at 27. Now I might be around 29 when he gets out and my whole life plan is screwed up! I had a rude awakening when this came to mind, however god had his way of sprinkling little miricals through out yur life. So I figure that it will happen when it happens and by God's good graces! My man wasn't the only one that had things to learn from this situation because I have things to learn too. #1 understanding that you can not control everything because that is God's job! I always took such pride in how sucessful I have become at such a young age! I felt my independence got me here but came to the realization that had God not given me the oppurtunities that he did I would not have what I have! He has taken care of me and in the long run things have always worked out so I had to learn to give God my complete faith and trust that he will do whats best for me. Maybe @ 27 I wouldn't be ready to have kids. Maybe something else will be in my life at that time that wouldn't allow children, who knows all I know is that I have to live in the moment and let the future play out itself! I would much rather be in a place of completly being ready to be a mom, then become a mom because that is the age I had in my head to be a mom! Being a mother is hard really hard and you can see some people struggle so bad to handle everything and then you see womaen that have it all together. I think that when you have children when you are in the perfect situation to have children you will be a lot more happier then if it just happens and you arn't emotionally ready to handle it! Does that make sense? Well girl don't stress off tomorrow focus and enjoy today! Don't bother stressing over what is unknown or things that you can't change! You will be cool, and God will take care of you some how!

[MOB'sgirl]

Wow, this is one of the reasons that I love PTO. I was just talking to my friend about this last night!! I think I just had my rude awakening in the last couple of days or something. I'm 24 and when he comes home I'll be 29 and possibly older if he gets flopped. I've always wanted to have at least 3 children, but I may be 30+ by the time I have my first one, but I don't want to have children by anyone else so I guess my only choice is to wait. But it does make me a little sad when I see new babies.

[BryansGirl]

My man and I have 1 child she is almost 8 month's old. About a year before he was incarcerated we planned to have a child. And now we have a beautiful little Daugther together. My man only got a three year sentence so he will be home before she is three years old.

[meandhim]

I Don't Have Kids Either And To Tell You The Truth I Would Wait Until My Hun Gets Out If I Did Want Kids I Want Him To Be There For Them And Cherish Every Moment..

[MizzCandy]

Well in my situation its different, I am 22 years old and will still be 22 when he gets out, If he has to go to AZ then I will be 23, but my situation is not about us having kids when he comes home and being young enough to have a few, its the fact that I may not be able to have kids. So like babieboo said, God willing we will have them on Gods time. And like TNC said I fear sometimes what if I cant have them I dont want him to feel as if he is missing something! So we talked about it and he told me he is fine with it if I cant have kids as long as he has me! So talk to him about it, he may want to adopt kids or something like that anyways!

[optimistic]

I just love PTO......you ladies always put it back in perspective.

Thanks, and you are all right!!! I guess I just needed that reminder!

[honeysgone4]

on a lighter note i have kids want mine

[joenash4lyf]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, Yet I feel the same it kills me beause I love children.He and I had a miscarriage a year before he went in.I think it was God's way of letting us know it wasn't our time and to be paient..So I'm just trusing in the good Lord and not questioning it.Our time will come.Keep your chin up!

[Dixie_sweetie]

Well I have been a little depressed lately about me always wanting more kids. I have one boy who is 8. I am now 26, and not with the Mike anymore (who was in prison) I fell that I will be too old to have more kids I mean I have to find a man and start all over again But I have my faith in God that what is best He will do. I just get a little down when people talk about having newborns cause I always wanted 3 kids. I am very blessed to have my son, he is the best child God blessed me so much when he gave me him. So I am thankful for him, but I was only 16 when I had him so my family wasn't very happy about it, I wanted to have a pregancy that everyone would be happy about. But if its not meant to be than it won't. but faith in God will get us all through this. Sorry to go on about my problems, I say talk to him about it and see what he says. Best wishes

[missingmybroang]

[Csmcgrl23]

Originally Posted by honeysgone4

on a lighter note i have kids want mine

Honeysgone4, hehehehehe, that cracked me up. I needed that, I just turned 31 today and I have no kids and it is a dream of mine that I know will come true one day.