I am new to this web site. I have a friend who is becoming more to me who I met through a pen pal service. He is in Lunenburg in Virginia. I've been writing to him since mid October, and talking on the phone. There is so much I like about him. I will visit him for the first time this weekend. But I know how I feel about him already. We can talk about things very honestly, and he is a good person. He has a good reputation among staff/prisoners at the prison, and this is a good sign for me.
Anyway, believe it or not, we are thinking about getting married. I belong to a Spiritual faith where the most important thing is the unification of two souls in marriage. I know that many people would not understand this union of ours; that I actually met someone who is in prison who I want to spend the rest of my life with. But I am sure you all will understand. I wish you all a Merry Christmas!
Marsha
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Love is the key that unlocks all doors....
Welcome Marsha,
Things happen that way for a lot of people. I feel that you get to know someone really better when you exchange correspondence like that. That is about all you have for so long, that if you are dealing with an honest person which most are, then you really get to know that person.
Good luck and again welcome to PTO
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The motto of Project Hope to Abolish the Death Penalty is Execute Justice not People.
PLEASE DO NOT KILL IN MY NAME!
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.
Marcia, Welcome to PTO. And you are so right, we totally understand. I look forward to getting to know you and reading your posts. good luck and god bless. Please keep us updated on the wedding, I love good news
welcome marsha........... this is the perfect place for you then. i know what youa re going through. i met my fiance through a friend and we met on the insides....... he was at the county when i met him. and we are getting married in april.......... follow your heart............
and congratualtions enjay let me know how your wedding goes.
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Sheryl
RonSheryl for life!!!
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daer Marsha I do understand so well...i am from Belgium and met my boyfriend through a pen pal service on the internet...he is in Virginia, Capron...don't know how far that is from where your love is? Anyway...welcome, welcome welcome....hope to see you here a lot and hear all about your wedding; as we are planning to get married in 2003 and I really read and want to know all about weddings now....Hilde
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lots of love, HILDE
"...contrary to what the cynics say,distance is not for the fearfull, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."
My husband and I were married in prison almost 8 years ago. Here's a little advice you might not expect from someone who's been down that road ...
Please move slowly. You've only known this man a couple of months, and you can't possibly know him as well as you might think, even if you write 10-page letters every day. I've seen MANY, MANY woman marry inmates after knowing them only a short while and falling in love through the mail, and I'm sad to say that very few marriages lasted more than a few months. In those instances, everyone gets hurt.
I realized I was falling in love with my husband about 5 months after I began visiting him, but I kept quiet about it for several months, just to be sure I wasn't acting on emotions alone. We wrote regularly and visited together regularly for 18 months before we became engaged. We waited another 2.5 years before we got married. That gave us plenty of time to develop a solid friendship and to really get to know each other. It also gave us time to work through various issues that cropped up, and we had to learn to solve problems together. Both of us believe we have such a strong marriage because we took plenty of time to build a deep friendship and to work through some major challenges BEFORE we married.
There's no need to rush into anything, so please give yourself plenty of time to really get to know each other. You don't have the opportunity to see him in a variety of situations and settings, so the more time you can give yourself to get to know his heart, the better off you'll be.
Thank you for your advice. I will take it to heart.
The women you talk about who married inmates, and whose marriages didn't last but a few months, do you know the reason why they didn't last? I'm really curious about this.
One thing about my friend is that he has good family relationships; and they visit him often. They support him a lot which I think is good. He also has a good reputation in the prison itself; he helps people with legal issues and has been doing that a long time, and also works with one of the counselors there. This counselor actually has let him call me from his phone a few times when he works late. I think this is a good thing, I just worry of course about him getting caught!
Well, take care, and thank you again!
Marsha
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Love is the key that unlocks all doors....