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Old 11-22-2017, 07:08 PM
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Default Can children come to the parole hearing?

I have a 5 year old and I’ve been having real conversations with him about my fiancé being in prison and I want to bring him to the parole hearing but my fiancé is charged with a sex crime and I’m unsure. Does anybody know Anything about this subject?
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Old 11-22-2017, 07:20 PM
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I highly doubt that is allowed....i know it's not allowed in michigan. They only allow one person at the meeting.
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Old 11-22-2017, 07:38 PM
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Have you looked into your state's parole restrictions for sex offenders? You might want to do that - asap.

I don't believe minors (under 18) are allowed (I could be wrong, but...) and its especially not a good idea to drag a 5 year old to such a serious hearing unless compelled to by (?) And I (IMHO) think its really, really a bad idea to take a non-biological 5 year old to a sex offenders parole hearing Chances are he won't be allowed minors - any minors, even your son - as long as he's on parole. At least not without the permission of his PO in advance. Good luck with that happening.
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Old 11-22-2017, 08:33 PM
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I have a 5 year old and I’ve been having real conversations with him about my fiancé being in prison and I want to bring him to the parole hearing but my fiancé is charged with a sex crime and I’m unsure. Does anybody know Anything about this subject?
Please, please reconsider this. A parole hearing for a sex offender who you aren't even married to is NO PLACE FOR A CHILD. Why in the world are you even talking to a child this young about this? You are putting such unnecessary stress on such a young child. A child this age would never understand the seriousness of this. They shouldn’t even be involved at all. What are you thinking!
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Old 11-22-2017, 08:35 PM
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If you want to make sure your lo bombs totally at the parole board, take the child.
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Old 11-23-2017, 05:52 AM
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You need to be aware that he is unlikely to be permitted to even BE AROUND minor children post-release. Exceptions exist in certain jurisdictions where the minor child is not the victim AND is the biological child of the offender...

As to hearings, we generally do not include children in the meetings with the lead voter. The Board Panel Office is NOT the playpen for children and a minor child can rarely offer anything of value in the decision making process...
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Old 11-23-2017, 08:06 AM
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I can’t stop pulling up this thread. What possible benefit could this have for your child? What even got this ball rolling? I am having so much difficulty trying to figure out how you even thought this up, let alone considered that it was even remotely appropriate for your child. I agree with Andy... the kid shouldn’t even KNOW about the parole hearing. You are putting food on this kid’s plate that he doesn’t have the teeth to chew yet. Put your SO fiancé on the back burner until he’s released from prison, off parole, off probation. It’s going to be a long time. You still have time time to fix your kid if you stop acting like a jackass immediately.
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Old 11-23-2017, 08:34 AM
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One other thing....IF he IS paroled, he may not even be allowed to be in a romantic relationship with someone who has a minor child.
That decision would have to come from his Parole agent, and be approved.
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Old 11-23-2017, 10:05 AM
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I have a 5 year old and I’ve been having real conversations with him about my fiancé being in prison and I want to bring him to the parole hearing but my fiancé is charged with a sex crime and I’m unsure. Does anybody know Anything about this subject?
I think this has been summed up fairly well by previous responders. Even considering taking children or a child to such a hearing would be an incredibly poor decision. A parole hearing is no place for children. For a number of reasons, and in this case, with a potential Sex Offender, it would be especially unimportant. As previously mentioned this person may not be able to to parole to a residence with a child.
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Old 11-23-2017, 10:09 AM
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I have a 5 year old and I’ve been having real conversations with him about my fiancé being in prison and I want to bring him to the parole hearing but my fiancé is charged with a sex crime and I’m unsure. Does anybody know Anything about this subject?
By the way, the psychologist in me wants to remind you that you can't have "real conversations" about adult issues with five-year-olds. They are not, under any circumstances, at a developmental stage where they understand with any significance or context of meaning - what you are talking about.
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Old 11-23-2017, 11:28 AM
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By the way, the psychologist in me wants to remind you that you can't have "real conversations" about adult issues with five-year-olds. They are not, under any circumstances, at a developmental stage where they understand with any significance or context of meaning - what you are talking about.
My thoughts exactly! Somebody needs to have some "real conversations" with a therapist - ASAP! SMH
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Old 11-24-2017, 08:42 AM
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First of all thanks for the responses. I’d rather tell me child the truth than hide it from him there is no need for insults. Children are very capable of of rationalizing situations. Second of all parole doesn’t restrict anyone’s relationship regardless if they have children you all sound judgemental as hell and only know a piece of the problem. I’ve heard of women taking children to parole hearings but there’s info about it in nv. My kid is not “broken” because someone he knows very well is in prison or parole. He’s going to ask questions sooner or later and I’m not going to lie to him. I haven’t given him all the details but he knows something is happening and asks everyday about it. If you want to raise your child another way do so don’t attack me for what I’m doing. To be five years old he has taken what little I’ve given him very well. As I said thanks for your responses.
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Old 11-24-2017, 08:55 AM
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Well then obviously you have never been in a relationship with a Sex offender. Parole will more then likely not let him live with you and he may never be able to live with you. That is up to parole officer and his parole stipulations. You need to find out all the rules for your state. You can probably look them up online.
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Old 11-24-2017, 09:31 AM
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Not being judgemental at all....I'm a former children's librarian with a Master's in that area. Some things are appropriate for a 5 year old, some things are not. A 5 year has no concrete understanding of most things, let alone an adult issue this complicated.

Please look into sex offender laws in your state and county.....My Mr is an RSO, so I do understand the complexities of loving and living with a sex offender.
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Old 11-24-2017, 09:34 AM
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First of all thanks for the responses. I’d rather tell me child the truth than hide it from him there is no need for insults. Children are very capable of of rationalizing situations. Second of all parole doesn’t restrict anyone’s relationship regardless if they have children you all sound judgemental as hell and only know a piece of the problem. I’ve heard of women taking children to parole hearings but there’s info about it in nv. My kid is not “broken” because someone he knows very well is in prison or parole. He’s going to ask questions sooner or later and I’m not going to lie to him. I haven’t given him all the details but he knows something is happening and asks everyday about it. If you want to raise your child another way do so don’t attack me for what I’m doing. To be five years old he has taken what little I’ve given him very well. As I said thanks for your responses.
Supervising agencies can indeed, and generally DO restrict sex offenders from having ANY contact with minor children. It was only through litigation here in Texas that biological parents of non-victim minors got to have contact with their children. Further, many agencies have an equivalent to what we know here as Special Condition X that specifically preclude a platonic relationship with ANY person who has a child under the age of 17.

If he is released, you are about to find out JUST how naive you are with regard to life with a sex offender. You SERIOUSLY need to spend A LOT of time reading in the LASO forums here as that will be just a snippet of what you are in for...
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Old 11-24-2017, 10:21 AM
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Okay, let's assume for a minute that the parole board is meeting and you and your kid are sitting right behind the inmate in support of him. Let's leave behind the fact that parole will restrict his access to children that he's not related to, in some states by statute.

Here's the image that the parole board sees by you and child sitting in support of your LO:

Here is an inmate who intends to live in a situation with ready access to a child. It's like advertising his next victim- this is what the parole board sees.

They also see a child of 5 sitting through a parole hearing about a sex offense. In other words, this is a child who is already being exposed to sexual content meant for adults, not kids. And they will disagree with you at a gut level about whether a child should be exposed to sex offense talk. You may talk with your child about a penis and a vagina or sodomy or pederasty and teach your child big words for his age, but there's a difference between teaching the very basics of conception and teaching a child about sex offenses. We are not talking about the delineation of "private parts" here. We are talking about an adult man taking responsibility for his crime, talking about his triggers, talking about his therapy and his relapse prevention. 5 year olds do not understand sexual attraction let alone the desire to whack off or insert a penis or other body part where it doesn't belong. There may be a victim impact statement or letter, and a child does not need to be exposed to the raw emotions of a victim. Your state will talk about parole restrictions that may include things like taking a polygraph or taking a penile plethesmograph, and what those tests mean. A child sex offender may be restricted from owning or having access to copies of Disney movies.

You are delusional if you think that there isn't a subtext to bringing a child to a sex offender's parole hearing that the parole board will read loud and clear. And since your LO, rightly or wrongly, has been diagnosed as somebody with antisocial personality disorder, they will see your child as his next, most convenient victim. You need to reconcile yourself with this.

You also need to look up the standard sex offender parole restrictions, registration restrictions, and residency restrictions for your state. Realize that these restrictions apply whether your sex offender is a child sex offender or your standard, run of the mill rapist. Then realize that there will be conditions placed upon him that pertain to his crime. So, if he collected child porn from the web, he won't be allowed internet access. This means no access to computers, cell phones, and other instruments used to access online content.

And he won't be able to live with a child for a good long time assuming you wise up and leave the child at home for the hearing.
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Old 11-24-2017, 10:21 AM
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Supervising agencies can indeed, and generally DO restrict sex offenders from having ANY contact with minor children. It was only through litigation here in Texas that biological parents of non-victim minors got to have contact with their children. Further, many agencies have an equivalent to what we know here as Special Condition X that specifically preclude a platonic relationship with ANY person who has a child under the age of 17.

If he is released, you are about to find out JUST how naive you are with regard to life with a sex offender. You SERIOUSLY need to spend A LOT of time reading in the LASO forums here as that will be just a snippet of what you are in for...
I’m not naive because we do have a child together aside from my 5 year old thanks very much, as I said you only know a snippet. I already know that we wouldn’t be able to live together IF I only had my 5 year old. However this wasn’t my question.
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Old 11-24-2017, 10:28 AM
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Not being judgemental at all....I'm a former children's librarian with a Master's in that area. Some things are appropriate for a 5 year old, some things are not. A 5 year has no concrete understanding of most things, let alone an adult issue this complicated.

Please look into sex offender laws in your state and county.....My Mr is an RSO, so I do understand the complexities of loving and living with a sex offender.
You weren’t however other people are being judgemental not even knowing specifics
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Old 11-24-2017, 10:31 AM
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Here you go. Read it. Know it. He will be living by it.

http://npp.dps.nv.gov/Programs/Sex_O...f_Supervision/

Nobody's calling you names. You are just ignorant of the realities of the situation. Such ignorance can be cured. You need to think about a lot of things, not just the impact of this on your child. If you really want him to parole, you need to think of the image you, by your presence, are presenting to the parole board.

Adults showing up in support of a sex offender are a good thing. They are presumed to know the full nature of the offense and are willing to take an active role in helping a sex offender transition from prison to real life. Children are not seen in the same light because they cannot understand the jeopardy they are placing themselves in and are not there by their own volition. Adults make the decisions to employ or live with a sex offender. Children do not. Children cannot make decisions about where they live or who they live with. Since a 5 year old cannot be trusted to bathe himself appropriately and safely, he cannot choose where and how he lives nor choose who he lives with.

You need to be very conscious of the restrictions you will face as an adult choosing to be in the life of a sex offender. You need to understand that your sex offender will not be living with you and your child. Failure to understand that, including bringing your child to the hearing will bury your sex offender's parole chances.
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Old 11-24-2017, 10:34 AM
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I’m not naive because we do have a child together aside from my 5 year old thanks very much, as I said you only know a snippet. I already know that we wouldn’t be able to live together IF I only had my 5 year old. However this wasn’t my question.
Your 5 year old from another relationship will not get a pass because there are other children in the house, even assuming he can initially live with his own children.

CenTex works as an attorney in probation and parole. I have sex offender clients and have been working with them for more than 15 years. The others who have responded largely are loved ones of sex offenders dealing with parole. Listen to people - they are not trying to lead you astray. They are trying to help.

You need to prepare.
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Old 11-24-2017, 10:40 AM
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Here you go. Read it. Know it. He will be living by it.

http://npp.dps.nv.gov/Programs/Sex_O...f_Supervision/

Nobody's calling you names. You are just ignorant of the realities of the situation. Such ignorance can be cured. You need to think about a lot of things, not just the impact of this on your child. If you really want him to parole, you need to think of the image you, by your presence, are presenting to the parole board.

Adults showing up in support of a sex offender are a good thing. They are presumed to know the full nature of the offense and are willing to take an active role in helping a sex offender transition from prison to real life. Children are not seen in the same light because they cannot understand the jeopardy they are placing themselves in and are not there by their own volition. Adults make the decisions to employ or live with a sex offender. Children do not. Children cannot make decisions about where they live or who they live with. Since a 5 year old cannot be trusted to bathe himself appropriately and safely, he cannot choose where and how he lives nor choose who he lives with.

You need to be very conscious of the restrictions you will face as an adult choosing to be in the life of a sex offender. You need to understand that your sex offender will not be living with you and your child. Failure to understand that, including bringing your child to the hearing will bury your sex offender's parole chances.
I wasn’t arguing with you about the question at hand, I’m not being ignorant some things I do know and some things I don’t. That’s no reason to call me a jackass or say I need to fix my child. (Not you others on this post) For the record I did not tell my child the specifics of my fiancé being in prison as I said before you don’t know what I know I asked a question and everyone seems to go around it trying to piece a story together from what little I said it’s quite funny actually. I’m not going to argue all day with strangers, as I said thank you to those who answered.
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Old 11-24-2017, 11:03 AM
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I am being judgmental, for the record. Taking a child to a sex offender’s parole hearing is, in my judgment, an incredibly stupid idea. If having one iota of common sense (which is all that is required to see that this is a stupid idea) makes me judgmental, then I have absolutely no problem with being called judgmental for that.

I even wonder if your current advanced pregnancy means that even YOU should abstain from the hearing... but that would be a question for those more familiar with the system
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Old 11-24-2017, 11:37 AM
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I’m not naive because we do have a child together aside from my 5 year old thanks very much, as I said you only know a snippet. I already know that we wouldn’t be able to live together IF I only had my 5 year old. However this wasn’t my question.
Mark your calendar...he WILL NOT be approved to live in a residence with a non-biological child. It does NOT matter if he has a biological child with you that is not a victim of the conduct for which he went to prison.

Go ahead, mark the calendar...then come back and try to say that I and everyone else here was wrong. You won't be back, at least not to make that claim. Instead, you will be in LASO trying to figure out WHEN you MIGHT be able to have contact with your LO...

Oh, and part of doing what I do necessarily involves looking at FAR MORE than just the basic question at hand. And if there is more than one conviction, you ALSO need to consider whether your State has civil commitment...although from what has been posted on PTO, some jurisdictions can civilly commit with just ONE conviction. If it got to the jury in such a case that a non-victim minor was being exposed to significant discussions about sexuality, you can bet your last dollar they find that he is incapable of controlling his sexual urges and thus is a threat to the public safety.

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Old 11-24-2017, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by TheMsT_ View Post
First of all thanks for the responses. I’d rather tell me child the truth than hide it from him there is no need for insults. Children are very capable of of rationalizing situations.
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They also see a child of 5 sitting through a parole hearing about a sex offense. In other words, this is a child who is already being exposed to sexual content meant for adults, not kids.
Your 5 year old very well may have a level of language use that allows you to feel confident in their ability to process complex situations. They cannot, however, "rationalize" discussions regarding sexual violence.

Please take the time to look up second-hand or vicarious trauma. It can happen to anyone of any age, but children being exposed to information that is, at it's core, traumatic, is potentially damaging in ways you've not yet considered.

I honestly can't imagine taking my child into a parole hearing for most any charge. The board members are there to press the potential parolee and ask some very hard questions. Even the most prepared inmate will be feeling that and demonstrating signs of stress. But to add in the subject of sexual violence? It's simply irresponsible. There's absolutely no need to expose a child to that when you are capable of having conversations in safe, age-appropriate ways.
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Old 11-24-2017, 12:32 PM
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I hope you haven’t even remotely discussed with the child that your fiancé is in for a sex crime. Children that age have difficulty distinguishing what is real and what isn’t. You certainly don’t want to risk having the child accuse your fiance of anything they just heard you say. They will take anything that child says at face value whether true or not. Still think taking the child is a good idea?
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