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  #1  
Old 09-14-2017, 02:13 PM
Babyx Babyx is offline
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Default Sharing commissary to encourage more civility

My husband has recently started handing out small commissary items to fellow inmates for good deeds and as a reward for not being a jerk. It's his strategy to encourage more civility.

For example, if he witnesses someone deescalate a volitle situation, he will approach the guy later and say "Nice job, man, here have some Cheetos".

Seems like a nice thing to do. Not sure how effective it will be, or how it will be perceived.
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Old 09-14-2017, 02:39 PM
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I don't think this is something I would recommend at all. It seems like a nice gesture...but say the guy who was trying to fight sees it, it could place your man in danger. If the CO's see it frequently they may think something else is going on. It may set him up to be exploited since he has enough to give away. Prison is a harsh world and even wanting to do good can turn out badly.
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Old 09-14-2017, 04:28 PM
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I'm going to tell him to knock it off.

It probably will just raise a lot of suspicions by both inmates and COs. He's already viewed as rather odd and creepy. This won't help. Shame, but that's the world he's in.
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Old 09-14-2017, 04:29 PM
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[quote=Babyx;7662929]My husband has recently started handing out small commissary items to fellow inmates for good deeds and as a reward for not being a jerk. It's his strategy to encourage more civility.

For example, if he witnesses someone deescalate a volitle situation, he will approach the guy later and say "Nice job, man, here have some Cheetos".

Seems like a nice thing to do. Not sure how effective it will be, or how it will be perceived.[/QUOT

Until someone beats the crap out of him for his commissary buys!!! No, not good!!!
Its perceived as weak and suck up, and someone is going to get pissed off because he acting superior. He's no different and he will get played until he's broke, and gets mixed up in stupid shit to pay off debts. Jail can get ugly quick.
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Old 09-14-2017, 05:19 PM
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Plus he might start to get extorted if he can afford to just give away stuff for nothing. People will start to wonder why he is getting involved with things that have nothing to do with him. I'm with the others. Bad idea.
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Old 09-14-2017, 05:43 PM
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He recently transitioned to GP from psych. Psych was a far more restrictive environment where opportunities for beatings and extortion were greatly reduced.

I was already nervous about the transition, now more so.

He should knock it off, for all the reasons stated above. I'm hoping people will just refuse the offer and steer clear of him, as they have in the past. This will not win over any new friends. He bears a striking resemblance to Uncle Fester from the Addams Family, plus major surgical scars on his face and head. Creeps people out. His cellie, and only friend, is a 7' tall, 400lb diagnosed sociopath. They get along just fine, but others tend to avoid them. Hopefully that will be the case.

Last edited by Babyx; 09-14-2017 at 06:35 PM..
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Old 09-14-2017, 08:48 PM
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Beyond the very real potential to be targeted due to his actions, there also exists the potential for disciplinary sanction.
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Old 09-15-2017, 08:11 AM
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Bad Idea, Inmate Code is to ignore the situation if you are not involved like it never happened. Him just acknowledging that he saw it sets him up to be called a rat. Even if he didn't rat. He needs to pretend to not have seen it and walk away from any situations like that. People are all the time telling on people in prison, and they are quick to blame people like what you have described your husband to be (as in a lil strange or outcast) After all they all wanna believe it was the outcast that told on them not one of their buddies.
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Old 09-15-2017, 09:55 AM
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I hate to say it but what the F is he thinking? Prison is hardly the place for him to give kudos to promote civility among the GP. I hope he just learns to mind his own business.
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Old 09-15-2017, 10:11 AM
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Quote:
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I hate to say it but what the F is he thinking? Prison is hardly the place for him to give kudos to promote civility among the GP. I hope he just learns to mind his own business.
Yes to that. I frequently get off the phone thinking "WTF! Are you insane?". Then I remember the 4 inch thick medical file that says, yes, in fact, he is.

Maybe they will just bounce him back to psych. I hope this campaign of his isn't related to recruiting for the ridiculous "cult" he wants to start. Didn't go over well in county. Not at all. Zero disciples so far.

If it wasn't so tragic, it would be funny.
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Old 09-15-2017, 10:37 AM
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Some (most) inmates and staff will ignore him as much as possible. The big problem will be from the others who will exploit his mental illness, which will be a dangerous situation for him.
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Old 09-15-2017, 11:01 AM
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Quote:
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Some (most) inmates and staff will ignore him as much as possible. The big problem will be from the others who will exploit his mental illness, which will be a dangerous situation for him.
So far, the worst from fellow inmates has been one cellie who encouraged his delusional thinking for entertainment value. Staff, on the other hand, have been far more severe and intolerant.
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Old 09-15-2017, 03:48 PM
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Quote:
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So far, the worst from fellow inmates has been one cellie who encouraged his delusional thinking for entertainment value. Staff, on the other hand, have been far more severe and intolerant.


Because he is a ward of the state with mh issues, what he perceives as intolerant may be the thing keeping him safe. Other inmates will set him up and take bets....he won't even know. Staff, for better or worse, don't want to have to intercede should a situation turn violent, should he attempt to hurt himself or others turn on him, and one day he's too afraid to tell you because the inmates have threatened you. So if staff corrects, directs, or advises, from my perspective, the predators know he's not invisible. Once again, this is only my perspective.
I don't speak for anyone but me, but if someone is on my count, I want humanity and safety.
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Old 09-16-2017, 06:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms Sunny View Post
Because he is a ward of the state with mh issues, what he perceives as intolerant may be the thing keeping him safe. Other inmates will set him up and take bets....he won't even know. Staff, for better or worse, don't want to have to intercede should a situation turn violent, should he attempt to hurt himself or others turn on him, and one day he's too afraid to tell you because the inmates have threatened you. So if staff corrects, directs, or advises, from my perspective, the predators know he's not invisible. Once again, this is only my perspective.
I don't speak for anyone but me, but if someone is on my count, I want humanity and safety.
I think you are right. What he perceives to be harsh and unjustified treatment by staff may well be why he's remained relatively safe. He does get dragged off to solitary quite a bit, for what seems like flimsy reasons (according to him). Viewing this in the light of keeping him out of harms way, it makes a lot of sense.
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Old 09-16-2017, 10:34 AM
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Quote:
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I think you are right. What he perceives to be harsh and unjustified treatment by staff may well be why he's remained relatively safe. He does get dragged off to solitary quite a bit, for what seems like flimsy reasons (according to him). Viewing this in the light of keeping him out of harms way, it makes a lot of sense.
I do question his version of events. Hmmm, why were you placed in restraints? No reason? Really? It worries me a bit. How can I know, for sure, what's really going on?
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Old 09-16-2017, 03:51 PM
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I just have to find the humor in this.
Ummm, Uncle Fester and Andre the Giant handing out candy bars and Cheetos? Ewwww! Not a successful campaign. No takers. Not kindergarten. Definitely not invisible.
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Old 09-16-2017, 04:34 PM
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Another interesting bit I find funny...

When in psych, he would describe and denigrate other would be "prophets" who wanted to start their own cults (apparently this is normal there). Oh sure, your cult is sooooo much better! What an absurd topic. Perhaps a cult incubator is called for. Ha!
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Old 09-23-2017, 12:57 PM
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His cellie got bounced back to psych. He sorta "went along" with the campaign, but actually was the one handing out prizes. My husband supplied them. Sorta "going along" with weird stuff, where red flags are waving, probably gets a lot of folks into prison in the first place.

Counsellors are worried. I'm worried. My husband now has a single.
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Old 09-23-2017, 01:04 PM
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Sounds like a rough road. I know humor is a coping mechanism and I'm honestly glad you're finding bits of it to make light of. It sounds like he's got a very active mind, for better or worse. I can imagine that's difficult to keep up with at times.

I kinda wish someone would have that campaign at my house, actually. I could use a random Honey Bun.
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Old 09-24-2017, 01:34 AM
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Old 09-26-2017, 08:22 AM
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Mind your own business, keep a smile on your face, and don't snitch. Tell him to keep his Cheetos to himself.
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Old 09-27-2017, 03:46 PM
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Very bad idea. If others want to be pricks, that's their doing. If they want to do good, that's their choice. Don't matter his intent, even the good guys will tell him to mind his own business.
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Old 09-27-2017, 04:13 PM
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The motivation is good, as far as I can tell.

His therapist is trying to steer him towards other, approved methods to do some good. Like tutoring/ teaching GED students. He has advanced degrees in engineering and finance. He can help there. He's an accomplished musician, perhaps joining a musical group would be better. He wants to develop a software development/computer science cuuiculum. Those are better channels.

Sure, plenty of students claim "my professor is nuts". Perhaps more so in this case. But still, he does have the credentials. One of his psych/Ph.D. Providers Actually cited his work in AI and machine consciousness in his thesis.

Last edited by Babyx; 09-27-2017 at 04:30 PM..
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Old 11-08-2017, 11:16 PM
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What he is doing sounds sweet in theory and I have to admit it made my heart smile, but I have to second what everyone else has said. He's setting himself up to get into trouble he isn't looking for and to be mooched off of. Prison is a rough environment full of a lot of rules that usually don't exist in the outside world. It's those rules that make me worry even more for my own husband because, like yours, he has mental health issues. Not to mention that both I and my husband have Aspergers and often struggle with social cues in the outside world. I can't imagine how much more difficult it is to pick up on the social cues that exist only in prisons. If I were you, I would tell him that it's a sweet idea but that you highly discourage him from doing it and explain your reasons why he shouldn't do it. Hopefully he will listen to you.
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