Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Met While Incarcerated
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-03-2017, 02:57 AM
yuliya1991's Avatar
yuliya1991 yuliya1991 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: westchester
Posts: 136
Thanks: 83
Thanked 192 Times in 71 Posts
Default When did you know had feelings (MWI) how did you handle it?

As the title says. How long until you had feelings, when did you realize it, how did you handle It? How long did you write before you hinted at feelings or straight up discussed them? Asking because Iím stating to have feelings. I not jumping straight in becuz I know this life ends in heart break a lot but Iím wondering. Sorry if this is a repeat threat, delete if thatís the case!
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 11-03-2017, 03:18 AM
judiwoo's Avatar
judiwoo judiwoo is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Nevada/UK
Posts: 1,040
Thanks: 237
Thanked 1,001 Times in 566 Posts
Default

I remember after a few months asking if he thought you could develop feelings for someone without meeting them - a huge hint lol! The day after I posted my letter to him I got a letter from him asking the same thing. When he rang we spoke about our feelings and he said "I would love for us to be a couple" and basically that was it. I would tell him if you've developed feelings for him because honestly I don't care what anyone says Life is too damn short for messing about. If he feels the same then go for it but take it slowly . No-one can guarantee that you won't get hurt but only you know if he's worth the risk.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-03-2017, 03:20 AM
IzzyLouWho's Avatar
IzzyLouWho IzzyLouWho is offline
Mischief Makin' Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,967
Thanks: 898
Thanked 3,038 Times in 1,507 Posts
Default

I started getting way to excited tobhet his letters about a month in...so I quit writing. About six months later, I got a letter from him. The feelings started about two months after that.
__________________
Angela
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-03-2017, 03:21 AM
yuliya1991's Avatar
yuliya1991 yuliya1991 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: westchester
Posts: 136
Thanks: 83
Thanked 192 Times in 71 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by IzzyLouWho View Post
I started getting way to excited tobhet his letters about a month in...so I quit writing. About six months later, I got a letter from him. The feelings started about two months after that.


So did you stop writing originally becuz you were afraid of the feelings you had ?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-03-2017, 03:28 AM
IzzyLouWho's Avatar
IzzyLouWho IzzyLouWho is offline
Mischief Makin' Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,967
Thanks: 898
Thanked 3,038 Times in 1,507 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yuliya1991 View Post
So did you stop writing originally becuz you were afraid of the feelings you had ?
Not afraid... I literally had no intention of getting involved with that man.

We ended up getting married when he was released, but he went back three months later. I stood by him, but we're divorcing. He can not function in the outside world. He also doesn't understand the concept of marriage. He went in young (seventeen) and has done close to 20 years (split between three bids).
__________________
Angela
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to IzzyLouWho For This Useful Post:
Fridyrr.Likn (11-03-2017)
  #6  
Old 11-03-2017, 04:02 AM
yuliya1991's Avatar
yuliya1991 yuliya1991 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: westchester
Posts: 136
Thanks: 83
Thanked 192 Times in 71 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by IzzyLouWho View Post
Not afraid... I literally had no intention of getting involved with that man.

We ended up getting married when he was released, but he went back three months later. I stood by him, but we're divorcing. He can not function in the outside world. He also doesn't understand the concept of marriage. He went in young (seventeen) and has done close to 20 years (split between three bids).


Thanks for your insight. Iím sorry what happened between you and your MWI didnít work out... my MWI went in when he was in his mid 20ís and heís in his 50ís now. I wonder how prison makes them sort of like a time capsule, as in do they ďevolveĒ like ppl on the outside do, I canít imagine what itís like for them
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-03-2017, 04:06 AM
yuliya1991's Avatar
yuliya1991 yuliya1991 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: westchester
Posts: 136
Thanks: 83
Thanked 192 Times in 71 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by judiwoo View Post
I remember after a few months asking if he thought you could develop feelings for someone without meeting them - a huge hint lol! The day after I posted my letter to him I got a letter from him asking the same thing. When he rang we spoke about our feelings and he said "I would love for us to be a couple" and basically that was it. I would tell him if you've developed feelings for him because honestly I don't care what anyone says Life is too damn short for messing about. If he feels the same then go for it but take it slowly . No-one can guarantee that you won't get hurt but only you know if he's worth the risk.


Iím waaaaaaay to shy to be so straightup about it! Iíve had feelings for a while now but Iím jus too shy to bring up anything, I wonder if itís too soon to even though I feel it, it makes me so nervous. I donít want to turn him off somehow or seen like im desperate, which Iím not. I just like him so much, and I do not understand how to approach it. Writing is so intimate in itself without baring your soul so to speak
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-03-2017, 04:08 AM
IzzyLouWho's Avatar
IzzyLouWho IzzyLouWho is offline
Mischief Makin' Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,967
Thanks: 898
Thanked 3,038 Times in 1,507 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yuliya1991 View Post
Thanks for your insight. Iím sorry what happened between you and your MWI didnít work out... my MWI went in when he was in his mid 20ís and heís in his 50ís now. I wonder how prison makes them sort of like a time capsule, as in do they ďevolveĒ like ppl on the outside do, I canít imagine what itís like for them
It is a time capsule for them. My husband is mentally around 19 years old. He did mature a bit when he got out this time. It can be hard for them to adapt. That doesn't mean that can't or that a relationship won't work.
__________________
Angela
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-03-2017, 04:11 AM
yuliya1991's Avatar
yuliya1991 yuliya1991 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: westchester
Posts: 136
Thanks: 83
Thanked 192 Times in 71 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by IzzyLouWho View Post
It is a time capsule for them. My husband is mentally around 19 years old. He did mature a bit when he got out this time. It can be hard for them to adapt. That doesn't mean that can't or that a relationship won't work.


Yea that makes sense . I feel like itís impossible for us on the outside to really understand what itís like in ther in terms of how it kind of ďretardsĒ you, I donít mean that in a derogatory way . Itís just a totally different world
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-03-2017, 05:18 AM
judiwoo's Avatar
judiwoo judiwoo is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Nevada/UK
Posts: 1,040
Thanks: 237
Thanked 1,001 Times in 566 Posts
Default

I would never have told him straight out that I had feelings but he had sort of hinted in his letters that's why I asked the question "do you think...." luckily he was feeling the same and has said since that he was scared of asking me straight out in case it scared me off. Neither of us are what you could call young so thats why I said "lifes too short" if I had been in my 20s or 30s things might have been different.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 11-03-2017, 06:04 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 3,474
Thanks: 3,190
Thanked 3,650 Times in 1,578 Posts
Default

I don't remember... kind of crept up on me... I've liked him from the beginning when we started writing because he's great to talk to, smart and funny and I was impressed of what he accomplished while being incarcerated. More deeper feelings just developed over time but he made the first move of opening up to me about 4-5 months ago. I'm enjoying the ride and can't wait to see him again.
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
xolady (01-03-2018)
  #12  
Old 11-03-2017, 08:18 AM
Kirin's Avatar
Kirin Kirin is offline
Coopers disciple
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Germany
Posts: 280
Thanks: 10
Thanked 150 Times in 94 Posts
Default

I wrote the first letter, looking for a friend/pen-pal. He replied and honestly, he had me smitten with the first letter. He didn't even try, no flirt at all, just by being himself. 2-3 letters later I had a massive crush and some weeks later I was so madly in love I told him. He was surprised and very flattered. He's reluctant opening up that much so quickly because he was heartbroken in the past, multible times and very badly, but he loves my wooing and he trusts me step by step.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-03-2017, 10:24 AM
sylvia glenn sylvia glenn is offline
Banned
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: alberta canada and cali
Posts: 124
Thanks: 33
Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts
Default

I knew after I first saw him an after reading his first letter to me I knew it would turn into something very beautiful and hes my husband now
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 11-05-2017, 02:39 PM
Laesperanza9's Avatar
Laesperanza9 Laesperanza9 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 17
Thanks: 18
Thanked 16 Times in 9 Posts
Default

I'm currently in the process of admitting that I have feelings for my MWI, so I am still figuring out how to handle it lol

well what I plan to do: I'll wait until he brings it up. And then we'll see how it goes
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Laesperanza9 For This Useful Post:
yuliya1991 (11-05-2017)
  #15  
Old 11-05-2017, 02:42 PM
yuliya1991's Avatar
yuliya1991 yuliya1991 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: westchester
Posts: 136
Thanks: 83
Thanked 192 Times in 71 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laesperanza9 View Post
I'm currently in the process of admitting that I have feelings for my MWI, so I am still figuring out how to handle it lol

well what I plan to do: I'll wait until he brings it up. And then we'll see how it goes


yeah Iím reluctant to admit I have feelings, I mean this is scary... not sure what to do about that. How long have you been writing to this person?
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 11-05-2017, 02:49 PM
Laesperanza9's Avatar
Laesperanza9 Laesperanza9 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 17
Thanks: 18
Thanked 16 Times in 9 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yuliya1991 View Post
yeah Iím reluctant to admit I have feelings, I mean this is scary... not sure what to do about that. How long have you been writing to this person?
honestly, i think we are exactly in the same boat. I've been writing him for about five months.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 11-05-2017, 02:50 PM
yuliya1991's Avatar
yuliya1991 yuliya1991 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: westchester
Posts: 136
Thanks: 83
Thanked 192 Times in 71 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laesperanza9 View Post
honestly, i think we are exactly in the same boat. I've been writing him for about five months.


Iíve only been writing for a month but weíre both the types to get carried away, and bc I onow this Iím trying to be cautious or even just avoid the subject entirely bc I know these are dangerous waters
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 11-06-2017, 08:24 AM
melissa323 melissa323 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England, UK
Posts: 68
Thanks: 19
Thanked 49 Times in 33 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yuliya1991 View Post
As the title says. How long until you had feelings, when did you realize it, how did you handle It? How long did you write before you hinted at feelings or straight up discussed them? Asking because Iím stating to have feelings. I not jumping straight in becuz I know this life ends in heart break a lot but Iím wondering. Sorry if this is a repeat threat, delete if thatís the case!
I'm kind of in the process now! We've been writing for almost 8 months, and for the last 2 and a half months we've been speaking on the phone a couple of times a week as well. I knew as soon as I got his first letter that I was gonna end up developing feelings for him, and it kinda annoyed me as that wasn't my intention - I had no plans to become involved with an inmate and only wrote to him to offer friendship. But, you can't help how things work out sometimes! We had a very strong connection from day 1 but I only started feeling romantic feelings for him when we started talking on the phone. I have hinted at feelings, but not outright said it or admitted that I'm feeling anything. However a couple of weeks ago, he told me that he has sent me a 4 page letter telling me how he feels about me "because life is too short to not say what you want to say". However I haven't received it yet and he refuses to tell me what it says!! So we shall see... haha.

In terms of how I feel about it/how I'm dealing with it - it's a very difficult one. I feel very strongly about him but I'm also very afraid because if I let myself fall in love with him then I know we'll have a veeery long and hard road ahead. (I'm in the UK and he is in Alaska with at least 10 more years left on his sentence). BUT I am just going to see what happens. He is very special and although the circumstances are far from ideal, I believe he came into my life for a reason so I'm not about to throw that away and back out just because it will be difficult for me.

So yeah. Sorry I've rambled a LOT here!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to melissa323 For This Useful Post:
yuliya1991 (01-03-2018)
  #19  
Old 01-03-2018, 01:56 PM
yuliya1991's Avatar
yuliya1991 yuliya1991 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: westchester
Posts: 136
Thanks: 83
Thanked 192 Times in 71 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa323 View Post
I'm kind of in the process now! We've been writing for almost 8 months, and for the last 2 and a half months we've been speaking on the phone a couple of times a week as well. I knew as soon as I got his first letter that I was gonna end up developing feelings for him, and it kinda annoyed me as that wasn't my intention - I had no plans to become involved with an inmate and only wrote to him to offer friendship. But, you can't help how things work out sometimes! We had a very strong connection from day 1 but I only started feeling romantic feelings for him when we started talking on the phone. I have hinted at feelings, but not outright said it or admitted that I'm feeling anything. However a couple of weeks ago, he told me that he has sent me a 4 page letter telling me how he feels about me "because life is too short to not say what you want to say". However I haven't received it yet and he refuses to tell me what it says!! So we shall see... haha.



In terms of how I feel about it/how I'm dealing with it - it's a very difficult one. I feel very strongly about him but I'm also very afraid because if I let myself fall in love with him then I know we'll have a veeery long and hard road ahead. (I'm in the UK and he is in Alaska with at least 10 more years left on his sentence). BUT I am just going to see what happens. He is very special and although the circumstances are far from ideal, I believe he came into my life for a reason so I'm not about to throw that away and back out just because it will be difficult for me.



So yeah. Sorry I've rambled a LOT here!


Itís been a while since Iíve been in this thread. Iím curious how things have developed for you two now? My MWI and I both admitted we have feelings for each other about a week after I posted this thread. Two months later, Iím still over the moon, as is he.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 01-03-2018, 03:02 PM
melissa323 melissa323 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England, UK
Posts: 68
Thanks: 19
Thanked 49 Times in 33 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yuliya1991 View Post
Itís been a while since Iíve been in this thread. Iím curious how things have developed for you two now? My MWI and I both admitted we have feelings for each other about a week after I posted this thread. Two months later, Iím still over the moon, as is he.
Thank you for asking . Things have developed! It's been almost 2 months since I posted that and over that time my feelings have just continued to build and build, I gave in trying to ignore them or overthink them.

We had a long discussion a few weeks ago about how things have grown, how lucky we feel and how important we are to each other. I then sent him a letter just laying it all on the table and told him that I love him. He wrote back saying he feels the same and loves me too.

Unfortunately, since then, we've had a tonne of issues with the phone where it keeps cutting off our calls after 1 minute (something to do with a carrier issue according to Securus) plus they've had a lot of lockdowns over there and he's started working a job with longer hours. All of that combined means that we've not actually been able to get on the phone to discuss the letters/our feelings.

So now I'm in this weird limbo stage where we've both said how we feel in letters but then not spoken since! Well, not for longer than a minute anyway. I'm hoping we'll get a chance to catch up soon so we can figure out what the next step is and where we go from here.

Glad things are going well for you also

x
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 01-22-2018, 03:53 PM
Bee143 Bee143 is offline
C0ME H0ME
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: CA
Posts: 53
Thanks: 86
Thanked 35 Times in 22 Posts
Default

when I first caught feelings they didn't creep up, they hit hard. I knew they we're hella strong because he left to fight fire and didn't have time to call before hand. So I went for, I think 21 days without hearing from him. I was a wreck the entire time. We also were midway through our first disagreement when he left so I was mad at him.

Once he called, we both we're somewhat distraught sounding. His reaction and voice was the first time I could tell he was genuinely into me and my well being. We worked through our argument and made it official.
__________________


Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My dads going to prison i have no idea how to handle my feelings. WhitleyTaylor Raising Children with Parents in Prison 28 09-20-2016 09:51 PM
How Do I Handle My Feelings For My Pen Pal TL1971 Prison Inmate Pen-Pal Talk 3 05-25-2011 09:25 PM
Mixed Feelings....Can I handle another set off? BethMartindale Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 2 04-17-2011 09:22 AM
How to Handle Unwanted (?) Feelings Sandibee Met While Incarcerated 13 10-25-2008 09:48 AM
Friendships into relationships---how did you handle your (conflicted) feelings? FleetingDreams Met While Incarcerated 30 09-15-2008 10:43 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:54 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics