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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: Would you have another MWI if it didn't work out with your current MWI?
Yes 9 7.96%
No 78 69.03%
I am not sure 26 23.01%
Voters: 113. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 03-22-2016, 01:24 PM
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Question Would you MWI all over again?

I met my BF after he was incarcerated (MWI). This is my first experience I've had with MWI.. Honestly, as much as I truly love him, this is my first, last, and only time I'm doing this... we only have 16 month left to go.. but if anything were to ever happen and it didn't work out. I can honestly say I would not do another MWI. Would you?
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Old 03-22-2016, 01:30 PM
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Mine did not work out (we broke up a few months after his release) and I would definitely not do it again.
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Old 03-22-2016, 02:39 PM
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With everything I've learned, I know that this isn't the life for me. I'm much too emotionally needy for the love life that I'm living. Too much is outside of my control, outside of his control. This life sucks, he is the only beautiful part of it. I can say with absolute certainty that this isn't something I will ever do again(MWI).
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Old 03-22-2016, 03:23 PM
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No, but then I didn't mean to do it this time, either.
I could repeat everything everyone else has said-- it's him, not the circumstance that's working for me. In all honesty one of the biggest difficulties for me is the financial side. When it costs to communicate, and communication is so important...I wouldn't want that barrier again.

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Old 03-22-2016, 03:37 PM
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I didnt look for this and I wouldnt look for it again. Love is found inthe strangest places so you never know what is around the corner.
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Old 03-22-2016, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
No, but then I didn't mean to do it this time, either.
I could repeat everything everyone else has said-- it's him, not the circumstance that's working for me. In all honesty one of the biggest difficulties for me in the financial side. When it costs to communicate, and communication is so important...I wouldn't want that barrier again.

I agree, it's not him - he is wonderful and I'm grateful that our paths crossed. I am frustrated from a communication, distance, and financial side. This is beyond a long distance relationship, many more variable are added in this MWI relationship. I see him weekly, the drive and dealing with the CO's & Staff and their political BS is wearing on me. I am glad that I only have 16 months left. I praise the people that ride with their LO for long term sentences, it takes a very special & patient person to ride that long. I don't think I could do it.
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Old 03-22-2016, 04:10 PM
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Never again... It's one set back after another with the prison system. Too much uncertainty. Too expensive. Too much heart ache.
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Old 03-22-2016, 05:14 PM
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I never intended on being MWI, I was simply reaching out as a penpal. I would do it again, because the people doing time need to be made to feel human and how better than to send a letter to reach out and be a friend?

Do any people that are MWI intend on finding someone doing a prison sentence? Not likely, but, it is what it is, and I could have a relationship on the outside that has its own struggles. That being said, I enjoy getting to know my MWI and we both agree that things can change and if they do, we will support each other in whatever we feel is best for ourselves.
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Old 03-22-2016, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by JustBeingMe67 View Post
I never intended on being MWI, I was simply reaching out as a penpal. I would do it again, because the people doing time need to be made to feel human and how better than to send a letter to reach out and be a friend?

Do any people that are MWI intend on finding someone doing a prison sentence? Not likely, but, it is what it is, and I could have a relationship on the outside that has its own struggles. That being said, I enjoy getting to know my MWI and we both agree that things can change and if they do, we will support each other in whatever we feel is best for ourselves.

You are absolutely correct, is stating
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because the people doing time need to be made to feel human and how better than to send a letter to reach out and be a friend?
reaching out as pen pals is not out of the question but if it began to turn romantic I would stop it, simply because of my experience with MWI.
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:53 PM
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I'll never say never, but from where I sit now I'd be crazy to choose this again.

No, I never intended on finding love behind bars - it found me. But more than that, I had no frame of reference to really know what this life would be like. The rush of infatuation makes you feel invincible, but no amount of love makes this life easy.

Now I have the knowledge and experience to know I'm not built for the life of a prison wife. I adapt and cope because my other half is worth every lonely night, every payment to the phone company, and every mile I put on my car. But I couldn't choose this again with my eyes wide open, and I can't imagine another man moving me to.
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Old 03-22-2016, 09:59 PM
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We met before but I couldn't do it otherwise.
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Old 03-23-2016, 01:01 AM
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I did and I don't regret it for a second !
I don't know if that makes me desperate, because anyone in my family/friends would tell I'm not from the men I've dated before, or maybe I am a masochist, but I am glad that I went through all this to find my man. I don't care about these terms, since at the end, I'm happier than I ever was ! I think I am more appreciative of all he is doing for me, because I have been with another incarcerated man who did nothing of that, so I guess that was the road I needed to take to meet him.
I don't think I did it willingly/in purpose - although I am not sure how my conscience worked that out - but I never told myself I would not and hopefully never put barriers between my man and me because of past experiences.
I won't do it again now just because he is my last one.
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Old 03-23-2016, 02:28 AM
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I swear by never say never...but no, I couldn't do this again.

I have pen pals, I love connecting with people through letters, prison or no prison...but I'm hell bent on never falling for anyone this way again regardless of what the future holds for me & my LO. It can be crazy amazing...but on the bad days it is the worst...too much of a rollercoaster; I think I may have developed an ulcer in the past year
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Old 03-23-2016, 02:59 AM
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No I wouldnt - Im nearly 28 and dont want to feel like my life is being on hold again. I want a relationship where I can be with someone in person not through letters and phone calls. It's too much of a lonely life
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Old 03-23-2016, 08:06 AM
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No.
I had one very short but not very pleasant experience last year and I've now become really close to my pen-pal with whom I'm writing for 1,5 years already. I'm not in a MWI/BF/GF relationship but nevertheless, we are very close and speak 2-3 times per week and I have my first visit coming up on April 17th. I consider him very close and I love him to death but I'm staying away from anything beyond that. I'll see him through his hopefully very last stretch (he's been in for 23 years and has maybe 2 years left). Anything beyond that point is still beyond that point and we'll cross any bridge that might come - or not.
I haven't stopped dating either, my life goes on and he knows it. But I cannot wait to see him. He's a great guy!!
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Old 03-23-2016, 08:55 AM
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No I wouldn't do it again. I knew we would end up having feelings for each other but I didn't realise how strong they would be, and with him never getting out and the possibility of him being executed I am in for a lot of heartache but it's too late to change anything because we are crazy about each other.
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Old 03-23-2016, 06:05 PM
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Never say never. I don't think anyone INTENTIONALLY looks for this to be the type of relationship they're in, but sometimes things happen that are beyond our control.
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Old 03-23-2016, 06:10 PM
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Never, Never, Never. I refuse. I told caveman he'd better be a good boy, because I'll never do it for him again, and certainly not for anyone else. I know my limits. They are being stretched to the breaking point.
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Old 03-25-2016, 01:14 AM
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We were together for 21 months married for 4 months and we ended it. A month ago in process of divorcing. He still has 18 months to go and tell me to hit him up before he paroles... Yeah.. I loved him so much but then I lost my job and tax return was withheld all in the same week.. And he couldn't be without all the things he had. He recently called me asking for money. I don't have any for him I have kids to take care of and still can't find a job. He told me that I left him without and in debt.. Which is furthest from the truth. So I tell him again I can't give what I don't have. And he tells me to change my number so he can stop calling... Umm sure bud.. So no I won't do it again.
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Old 03-25-2016, 05:37 AM
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I'm continuing doing this with him but I don't know if I could do life without parole again. Why I am doing this, has a lot to do with him as a person. Don't think I would do it for anybody else
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Old 03-28-2016, 01:51 AM
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I've been doing this for a decade. And not with the same incarcerated man.

I've spent 5 years with each of them. To this day I think I must be some kind of crazy for entering into another relationship with an incarcerated man. He's a good man. He's good to me and loves me dearly, but all that comes with this life.....I'm tired of it. So very tired.

I won't ever do this again.
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Old 03-28-2016, 06:19 AM
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No, chance I will ever do MWI again. After investing 5 1/2 years to just be tossed aside when no longer of use.
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Old 03-28-2016, 10:57 PM
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I never would regardless of how I met them. Life is hard enough w/out having a relationship with an inmate, but dealing w/all the shit that comes w/prison forget the money I like my sane quiet life.
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Old 03-29-2016, 05:49 PM
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I would have to say no I wouldn't do it over with another MWI. I gave it my all and honestly to say I don't have it in me to start over with another one. I did it for the first and last time and I'm not ever doing it again. It take a lot to maintain a relationship with a incarcerated man. I gave it 100% but he wasn't even being serious about it. I than moved on an no looking back or starting it over again with a MWI.
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Old 04-04-2016, 03:25 AM
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I absolutely love my husband but if things went wrong between us I would never do this emotional roller coaster of a relationship again. 95% of it has been great but that 5% totally drained me.
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