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  #1  
Old 06-21-2015, 12:06 AM
Lionol Lionol is offline
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Default I am an alcoholic need advice

So, been an alcoholic bout 12 years. From age 20 or so alll the way to 32. From 14 to 20 was daily pot smoker. Quit weed ironically because it was illegal. 3 duis and one with a n assault. Did my time on all completed all obligations quite easily. Got a fourth dui at this point i was just under 3 years removed from prison for 3rd dui. Had a 50k year job that would have turned into 80k+ maybe even 100k+, was doing extremely well at company they hired me back even after i got my third dui. Had a 23k car that was really sweet and 1/2 payed for. Credit was solid high700s. I was set basically as a two time felon, one for the assault one for 3 dui. Sky was the limit. Got this fourth dui and i knew...with my record two felonies and about to be convicted of a third...sentencing charts lay it out nicely. 6-10 years starting from pres. onward. I knew the day my fourth dui happened it was all over, but i could have made smart logical decisions but i did not. I did like an addict would maxed out my credit cards on beer and food. Then I depleted my bank account. i never went back to my job cuz i knew no matter my hard work and good pay it was over in less than one years time(warrants and such). So here I am cashed out my 401k have enough to at least try and make it. There is a warrant for missed court dates and I am avoiding it. So I guess any advice moving forward? There is an active warrant and i'd like to work again, my significant other can pay bills but I need to work as she is horrible at money managing. I understand i will never have a drivers license again. All of my expensive possessions are gone i will never drive or own property i dont care. Did i mention child support its small amount but im fucked on all fronts. Credit destroyed, no employment, arreas in 3k range for child support, no prospect of employment. I do not work in skilled trade i was retail mgt in a specific industry at the best company to be at. Basically I have no skills, tried college three times all times lost steam flunked out. I ran, i can either go to jail for 6-10 or try to do something. Since all i had is gone why is there any choice? Oh you can jail me for 6 years but what are you jailing me from? Everything I had and loved was gone long ago.I live in jail now with no money and no job, but after all the govt has taken from me i dont care. I have four non-accident injury duis, fucking traffic stops. Tlr I am fleeing dui charges, and i want advice from someone who has done this successfully. WHAT I DONT WANT...turn yourself in bullshit, my life is already shit no money no job, i dont wanna hear about turning myself in for even worse shit..i have been to prison. Advice from people who ran and fucking suceeded plz.
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  #2  
Old 06-21-2015, 12:42 AM
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Welcome to PTO.
I think you might be on the wrong site if you're looking for advice on how and where to run, this is Prison Talk Online and the 1 common bond that we all share is we have/or had someone in prison. I know that you don't want to hear 'turn yourself in' so I'll skip threw that for a bit.
My name is Mary and I too am an alcoholic but I'm not practicing in my addiction today. You are what is commonly known as hitting bottom like all of us do at some point. We all do,we all lose something, somebody, money, car, job... the list goes on but it all breaks down to we lose it all. So when it happens we are all pretty much 'fucked' as you said.
Sure you can run but where will you go? Are you going to live running from your family, friends, courts and that precious child your missing child support on? Do you have family and friends to turn to or have most people turned their backs on you as you stagger, raise hell about life not being fair? Mine turned their backs within the first 2 times of putting up with my drunk behavior and self entitlement.
What you need to do is scrape what money together you have, hire an attorney and probably turn yourself into a rehab with the courts approval so you can get healthy again and stand.
We all have our burdens in life. We as alcoholic's have to make the choice for ourselves whether we want to continue. If you continue things WILL NOT get better but will continue to spiral out of control making your situation worse. You can't run forever. A simple public intoxication or traffic stop will get you pulled in for that warrant so prepare forthat warrant. Sober up, get an attorney and take responsibility while begging the courts for rehabilitation. Y
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Old 06-21-2015, 12:54 AM
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Thanks for the reply...but i live in az. there are mandatory minimums noo lawyer can do shit and you are out money. substantial money at that.
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Old 06-21-2015, 01:28 AM
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Okay, well I'm going to stalk this thread watching for some successful people to post but I doubt there will be many. I don' t mean to sound negative here or even like a simple country momma but I figure anyone successful at eluding the police isnt going to post on a www with info on how they did it. Best of luck. Mary
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Old 06-21-2015, 01:42 AM
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Thanks for the reply...but i live in az. there are mandatory minimums noo lawyer can do shit and you are out money. substantial money at that.
An attorney can get you the low end and get things tolled until you've done rehab so that you can get stable in your sobriety before you go to prison. An attorney can help in a number of other ways, and help you get your life in order before you go in so that you can have a smooth transition when you get out.

6 years - you're shitting me, right? You're all, "my life is over" over 6 years? Wow. You'd think that would have been enough for you to stop driving when you've been drinking.

Quit catastrophizing everything. You need to know that running is not an option when you don't have cash, don't like countries without extradition treaties to the US (can you say, "Libiya"?), and want to be able to work. When you run (and when you fta), the moment you have an interaction with the police for whatever reason, you're going to get locked up. Worse, you're demonstrating you're a flight risk, so you can expect no bail from that point on. Bail to a rehab would be a good thing as drying out in prison really sucks. People get busted on warrants all the time. It'll happen when you're out with your significant other, trying to have a date. It'll happen at a sports bar, where you're trying to watch a game. It doesn't even have to be you who's the reason the police show. Witness a car accident, piss off somebody who wants to ruin your day, or just wait for the fugitive apprehension unit to show up. Shit, they can accidentally show up at the wrong home, and you'll have to show ID to prove it. Throw in the fact that you probably already are out on bond, and if you used a bondsman, they will actively look for you, and you can see you're just playing Russian Roulette with your liberty.

You're drinking right now, and that's also motivating you to be stupid, and to think and act as if your life is over. Your mind is all cloudy because you're drinking and hitting bottom as Bumblebee says. What you need to do is contact your attorney and get into rehab. Don't cash in your chips yet. 6 years is nothing in the grand scheme of things. A dime is nothing. You're not going to do the full time - good time credits will cut into it a lot. And, if you start working on sobriety, you might be able to parole at the earliest. But, it does mean learning an entirely new way of living and thinking. Your addiction doesn't want you to do it. Your addiction wants you to think your life is over, justifying drinking yourself into oblivion. It's your choice what you do - you can succumb to your addiction, dry out in jail, get the longest sentence possible, screw your ability to get good time credits, and get out 10 years from now with half your life left to live, scratching your ass, wondering where you can go to get a beer and repeat the entire cycle, only this time with much more substantive time that will take you into your geriatric years. Or, you can sober up now. Deal with your shit. Clear up your thinking. And realize that your life isn't over. You still have a shit ton of responsibilities, and teaching your kids how to deal with it is much more important than giving them an example of giving up, giving them something to complain to their therapists about when they're your age and can't trust others because they might just give up, as they become alcoholics because you taught them how to do it and probably passed the addiction gene on to them.

But, it's your choice. Give in to your addiction and suffer, or get into rehab and learn how to really live.
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  #6  
Old 06-21-2015, 02:02 AM
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So, been an alcoholic bout 12 years. From age 20 or so alll the way to 32. From 14 to 20 was daily pot smoker. Quit weed ironically because it was illegal. 3 duis and one with a n assault. Did my time on all completed all obligations quite easily. Got a fourth dui at this point i was just under 3 years removed from prison for 3rd dui. Had a 50k year job that would have turned into 80k+ maybe even 100k+, was doing extremely well at company they hired me back even after i got my third dui. Had a 23k car that was really sweet and 1/2 payed for. Credit was solid high700s. I was set basically as a two time felon, one for the assault one for 3 dui. Sky was the limit. Got this fourth dui and i knew...with my record two felonies and about to be convicted of a third...sentencing charts lay it out nicely. 6-10 years starting from pres. onward. I knew the day my fourth dui happened it was all over, but i could have made smart logical decisions but i did not. I did like an addict would maxed out my credit cards on beer and food. Then I depleted my bank account. i never went back to my job cuz i knew no matter my hard work and good pay it was over in less than one years time(warrants and such). So here I am cashed out my 401k have enough to at least try and make it. There is a warrant for missed court dates and I am avoiding it. So I guess any advice moving forward? There is an active warrant and i'd like to work again, my significant other can pay bills but I need to work as she is horrible at money managing. I understand i will never have a drivers license again. All of my expensive possessions are gone i will never drive or own property i dont care. Did i mention child support its small amount but im fucked on all fronts. Credit destroyed, no employment, arreas in 3k range for child support, no prospect of employment. I do not work in skilled trade i was retail mgt in a specific industry at the best company to be at. Basically I have no skills, tried college three times all times lost steam flunked out. I ran, i can either go to jail for 6-10 or try to do something. Since all i had is gone why is there any choice? Oh you can jail me for 6 years but what are you jailing me from? Everything I had and loved was gone long ago.I live in jail now with no money and no job, but after all the govt has taken from me i dont care. I have four non-accident injury duis, fucking traffic stops. Tlr I am fleeing dui charges, and i want advice from someone who has done this successfully. WHAT I DONT WANT...turn yourself in bullshit, my life is already shit no money no job, i dont wanna hear about turning myself in for even worse shit..i have been to prison. Advice from people who ran and fucking suceeded plz.
Damn. Well if you were in California I have a lawyer that works miracles but you aren't so.
Damn... You and my brother are running parallel but he just got his 6th DUI 2nd felony, he was sentenced to 18 months on the last one and did 9. This one 5 years probation, 6 months house arrest, 15 days incarceration. Yep you read that correctly.
You at least can see that you messed up, you owned being an alcoholic. My brother seems to think this is all a joke. I can't wait to see him laughing all the way to violating and getting the book thrown at him.

Back to you. Can you run, sure thing work under the table, don't drive, be on guard forever. You may think right now it's tolerable but when you and your family are really under the stress I'm pretty sure it is going to prove to much. I lived in Phoenix I know warrant officers come to homes, cops are all over and what if you get away for 20 years? You haven't been able to build a very solid life.

So with that being said I realize it seems too much, you are in a hole that you can't get out of, you can but it's going to be rough and it's definitely going to take time. I think that you should meet with attorneys, several VERY experienced attorneys. Free consults, have it all laid out in front of you best and worst. What if you start a program, intensive, meetings, anything that shows that you are making a change on your own. You are freaked and not able to see past all the negative.

You owe yourself and your family to at least meet , get your options, then decide together. I feel for you but you knew the consequences of your actions, I don't understand why you wouldn't have a cab, a friend drive? You and my brother have me baffled with that one.

All the best to you. If you have any questions pm me
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  #7  
Old 06-21-2015, 02:57 PM
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So, been an alcoholic bout 12 years. From age 20 or so alll the way to 32. From 14 to 20 was daily pot smoker. Quit weed ironically because it was illegal. 3 duis and one with a n assault. Did my time on all completed all obligations quite easily. Got a fourth dui at this point i was just under 3 years removed from prison for 3rd dui. Had a 50k year job that would have turned into 80k+ maybe even 100k+, was doing extremely well at company they hired me back even after i got my third dui. Had a 23k car that was really sweet and 1/2 payed for. Credit was solid high700s. I was set basically as a two time felon, one for the assault one for 3 dui. Sky was the limit. Got this fourth dui and i knew...with my record two felonies and about to be convicted of a third...sentencing charts lay it out nicely. 6-10 years starting from pres. onward. I knew the day my fourth dui happened it was all over, but i could have made smart logical decisions but i did not. I did like an addict would maxed out my credit cards on beer and food. Then I depleted my bank account. i never went back to my job cuz i knew no matter my hard work and good pay it was over in less than one years time(warrants and such). So here I am cashed out my 401k have enough to at least try and make it. There is a warrant for missed court dates and I am avoiding it. So I guess any advice moving forward? There is an active warrant and i'd like to work again, my significant other can pay bills but I need to work as she is horrible at money managing. I understand i will never have a drivers license again. All of my expensive possessions are gone i will never drive or own property i dont care. Did i mention child support its small amount but im fucked on all fronts. Credit destroyed, no employment, arreas in 3k range for child support, no prospect of employment. I do not work in skilled trade i was retail mgt in a specific industry at the best company to be at. Basically I have no skills, tried college three times all times lost steam flunked out. I ran, i can either go to jail for 6-10 or try to do something. Since all i had is gone why is there any choice? Oh you can jail me for 6 years but what are you jailing me from? Everything I had and loved was gone long ago.I live in jail now with no money and no job, but after all the govt has taken from me i dont care. I have four non-accident injury duis, fucking traffic stops. Tlr I am fleeing dui charges, and i want advice from someone who has done this successfully. WHAT I DONT WANT...turn yourself in bullshit, my life is already shit no money no job, i dont wanna hear about turning myself in for even worse shit..i have been to prison. Advice from people who ran and fucking suceeded plz.
You made your bed, now lie in it. You have got no one to blame but yourself. Perhaps it is time that you grow a pair and face up to the consequences of your actions. Whether you want to hear it or not - there is is, in a nutshell.
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Old 06-25-2015, 12:31 AM
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You made your bed, now lie in it. You have got no one to blame but yourself. Perhaps it is time that you grow a pair and face up to the consequences of your actions. Whether you want to hear it or not - there is is, in a nutshell.
haha. i've owned to the consequences and grew some ball sack 3 times. i have spent around three and a half years of my life confined for this shit. Ever hear of moral vs. disease arguement? its all they teach in prison. i have nothing to lose in this situation. if i park my ass 2000 miles from my own state do you think they have the budget, the money to come get me? its 50/50 at the most, and probably 35/65 at leastt. i've lost everything and dont really care. i do not give a shit about driving, owning any property, or having anything tied to my name. are the police gonna beam down in a magic police ship? furthermore i rarely leave the house i stay indoors almost always.
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Old 06-25-2015, 12:47 AM
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haha. i've owned to the consequences and grew some ball sack 3 times. i have spent around three and a half years of my life confined for this shit. Ever hear of moral vs. disease arguement? its all they teach in prison. i have nothing to lose in this situation. if i park my ass 2000 miles from my own state do you think they have the budget, the money to come get me? its 50/50 at the most, and probably 35/65 at leastt. i've lost everything and dont really care. i do not give a shit about driving, owning any property, or having anything tied to my name. are the police gonna beam down in a magic police ship? furthermore i rarely leave the house i stay indoors almost always.
You know what? I also suffer from manic depression bi polar as the fags call it. i've never used it as a crutch but goddamn when some horrible shit happens and keeps hapoening like this the answer is not man up your testicles. Addicction combined with some serious depression needs some medication. do you think they give that in prison? as you have not gone to prison i will offer a resounding no.
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Old 06-25-2015, 01:04 AM
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An attorney can get you the low end and get things tolled until you've done rehab so that you can get stable in your sobriety before you go to prison. An attorney can help in a number of other ways, and help you get your life in order before you go in so that you can have a smooth transition when you get out.

6 years - you're shitting me, right? You're all, "my life is over" over 6 years? Wow. You'd think that would have been enough for you to stop driving when you've been drinking.

Quit catastrophizing everything. You need to know that running is not an option when you don't have cash, don't like countries without extradition treaties to the US (can you say, "Libiya"?), and want to be able to work. When you run (and when you fta), the moment you have an interaction with the police for whatever reason, you're going to get locked up. Worse, you're demonstrating you're a flight risk, so you can expect no bail from that point on. Bail to a rehab would be a good thing as drying out in prison really sucks. People get busted on warrants all the time. It'll happen when you're out with your significant other, trying to have a date. It'll happen at a sports bar, where you're trying to watch a game. It doesn't even have to be you who's the reason the police show. Witness a car accident, piss off somebody who wants to ruin your day, or just wait for the fugitive apprehension unit to show up. Shit, they can accidentally show up at the wrong home, and you'll have to show ID to prove it. Throw in the fact that you probably already are out on bond, and if you used a bondsman, they will actively look for you, and you can see you're just playing Russian Roulette with your liberty.

You're drinking right now, and that's also motivating you to be stupid, and to think and act as if your life is over. Your mind is all cloudy because you're drinking and hitting bottom as Bumblebee says. What you need to do is contact your attorney and get into rehab. Don't cash in your chips yet. 6 years is nothing in the grand scheme of things. A dime is nothing. You're not going to do the full time - good time credits will cut into it a lot. And, if you start working on sobriety, you might be able to parole at the earliest. But, it does mean learning an entirely new way of living and thinking. Your addiction doesn't want you to do it. Your addiction wants you to think your life is over, justifying drinking yourself into oblivion. It's your choice what you do - you can succumb to your addiction, dry out in jail, get the longest sentence possible, screw your ability to get good time credits, and get out 10 years from now with half your life left to live, scratching your ass, wondering where you can go to get a beer and repeat the entire cycle, only this time with much more substantive time that will take you into your geriatric years. Or, you can sober up now. Deal with your shit. Clear up your thinking. And realize that your life isn't over. You still have a shit ton of responsibilities, and teaching your kids how to deal with it is much more important than giving them an example of giving up, giving them something to complain to their therapists about when they're your age and can't trust others because they might just give up, as they become alcoholics because you taught them how to do it and probably passed the addiction gene on to them.

But, it's your choice. Give in to your addiction and suffer, or get into rehab and learn how to really live.
yeah im drinking right now. 6 years is nothing? haha. consider default on 13.5k loan. then consider an initial debt of 6k on credit cards that has not been paid for 16 months. is it all shiny now? consider if i went to prison as a 32 year old man and came out as a 39 year old man..no money or 401k. im working till i die no retirement. my life just got fucked off. you know what? sometime before 33 i am gonna buy a big gun and blast my brain on the wall..problem solved. no response needed.
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Old 06-25-2015, 01:59 AM
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SUICIDE:
UNITED STATES
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1-800-SUICIDE
784-2433
http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

Please get some help.
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Old 06-25-2015, 02:02 AM
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Lionel
Sounds to me like you are addicted to the rush of anarchy/craziness. So you have been incarcerated because of Drinking and Driving. Are you addicted to alcohol or is alcohol only exciting when a vehicle is involved. "What is your thing - what do you get off too"???? . If it's the latter then in reality you are a adrenalin junky. Your normal is chaos .... it's all you know. Just about the time you find your normal - you self destruct.
Here - let me give you some advice. If it's the alcohol that you love - drink up !!! Drink till your hearts content. Drink so much you pass out, wake up and do it all over again. BUT -now here is the kicker- don't get in the drivers seat of anything. Take your drivers license out of your pocket, cut it up - and ride with someone else.
** Now that I have you good and upset. Please listen to me..... You are doing the same bad behavior that got you into all of the mess to begin with. You are "GETTING OFF" to the idea of screwing your life up even more. IN all your rant you mention nothing about the fear of being incarcerated. The only fear I read in your story was the fear of being released from Prison when your almost for and having no retirement or anything else.
K now the next thing I want you to do is find a brick wall. Stand back about 200 ft. K, now I want to you run as fast as you can towards the brick wall and just run right into it going full speed and get up and do it over and over and over again. Now after you have hit a few times your brain says = hey that a f'ing brick wall and I am a human. There is on match. One day you wake up and realize if you walk up the that wall, give it a good once over - you might find it's a obstacle that can stop you or give you strength to climb your way to the other side safely. Then your can experience the RUSH of accomplishment. The wall you are running from is there to face NOW or 2 yrs from now or 10yrs from now. It aint going no where and running faster won't make it disappear. Do the right thing now, get this mess behind you.......
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Old 06-25-2015, 02:04 AM
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You know what? I also suffer from manic depression bi polar as the fags call it. i've never used it as a crutch but goddamn when some horrible shit happens and keeps hapoening like this the answer is not man up your testicles. Addicction combined with some serious depression needs some medication. do you think they give that in prison? as you have not gone to prison i will offer a resounding no.
You know what? If, after your 4th DUI, you knew you had a problem, you knew you had a problem after your 3rd DUI. Three years out of prison, and you didn't seek help then? Now you want to blame the world because YOU didn't seek help?

Please use the number I posted for you. Admit that you have a problem and get help.
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Old 06-25-2015, 03:06 AM
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I want to step in here because I see this thread has the potential to turn bad.

Lionol is an admitted alcoholic, he is still drinking I am assuming and you know that people do not think clearly while intoxicated. He is scared, who wouldn't be knowing what they are facing. He is posting here looking for something, acknowledgement, help, maybe just a place to be able to vent to.

He is acting out because he doesnt have another way to express himself, so before you start telling him to man up, or belittle him go back and re-read his posts. I am not saying coddle or condone but maybe just understand. Omg he is posting about suicide people. This is not something to play around with, you wouldn't do that to someone standing on a ledge.

Thank you for posting the suicide number
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Old 06-25-2015, 05:03 AM
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No offense, Tarylynn, but in his original post the man said, "I am fleeing dui charges, and i want advice from someone who has done this successfully. WHAT I DONT WANT...turn yourself in bullshit, my life is already shit no money no job, i dont wanna hear about turning myself in for even worse shit..i have been to prison. Advice from people who ran and fucking suceeded plz."

This thread isn't going to turn out bad. Things are only going to get bad if the poster doesn't get help. He came here asking for advice on how to run, and nobody on this board is going to tell him how to run. I think everything has been said that needed to be said. We can only show him the path. He has to decide which one he wants to take.

Does he have a disease? Yes. Is he in pain? Yes. Will we tell him how to elude the law? No

Were some posters harsh? Yes He has the tools. It's up to him to use them.
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Old 06-25-2015, 05:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Lionol View Post
yeah im drinking right now. 6 years is nothing? haha. consider default on 13.5k loan. then consider an initial debt of 6k on credit cards that has not been paid for 16 months. is it all shiny now? consider if i went to prison as a 32 year old man and came out as a 39 year old man..no money or 401k. im working till i die no retirement. my life just got fucked off. you know what? sometime before 33 i am gonna buy a big gun and blast my brain on the wall..problem solved. no response needed.
Delaying the inevitable does not change ANY of what you just described. Nobody else did this to you. You did this to yourself. Continuing to dig the hole isn't helping you...

Hell, go do your six...the credit issues will be beyond the seven years by that time since you claim to have defaulted more than a year ago.

Oh, and you clearly overlook those who returned to the community well into their 40's and 50's and put life in order. Is it easy? No. But not a soul has ever claimed that it was supposed to be easy...if it were, everyone would be committing felonies so they could start over.
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Old 06-25-2015, 06:10 AM
Taralynn214 Taralynn214 is offline
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Originally Posted by LifeTraveler View Post
No offense, Tarylynn, but in his original post the man said, "I am fleeing dui charges, and i want advice from someone who has done this successfully. WHAT I DONT WANT...turn yourself in bullshit, my life is already shit no money no job, i dont wanna hear about turning myself in for even worse shit..i have been to prison. Advice from people who ran and fucking suceeded plz."

This thread isn't going to turn out bad. Things are only going to get bad if the poster doesn't get help. He came here asking for advice on how to run, and nobody on this board is going to tell him how to run. I think everything has been said that needed to be said. We can only show him the path. He has to decide which one he wants to take.

Does he have a disease? Yes. Is he in pain? Yes. Will we tell him how to elude the law? No

Were some posters harsh? Yes He has the tools. It's up to him to use them.
No offense taken at all.

I read his post and I saw exactly the same thing. I just think that I see it from an addicts point of view if that makes sense. I dont know if i can explain this so that it makes sense. He knows that running isn't realistic, he knows that he has screwed up and while he knows this and says it he still hasn't accepted it.

He is getting confrontational with people who are trying to help him and has an excuse lined up for why it's going to fail for everything that is suggested.

It is a distraction that he is setting up so that he can avoid having to actually own his addiction. It's one thing to say you have an addiction, he can say it all day long and blame all his problems on it. That's easy. When you own it that's when it's gets real, that's when it's you have to man up and fight like hell to save yourself or you can't do it because for some people their addiction is far to powerful for them and when they realize it some people just Ho off the deep end.

We don't know him, we truly don't know what is going on his mind. I woukd really hate for someome taking his posts as personal attacks and attacking him back and thats the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.

For some reason his original post got to me. It bothered me so much that I was looking up attorneys for him.

Whew I'm done...lol
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Old 06-25-2015, 06:28 AM
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Prison helps to sober you up - just ask my son.

This is a prison SUPPORT site - no one is going to give you instructions on how to run.

Get a grip, grow up, face the consequences of your actions. And....to say that you have to work because your spouse is horrible at managing money is incredibly ignorant on your part...
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Old 06-25-2015, 07:37 AM
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Everything I had and loved was gone long ago.I live in jail now with no money and no job, but after all the govt has taken from me i dont care.
Your (emphasis by me) statement above reveals a great deal as to why life has become so difficult for you. You see, your decisions are what opened the door for "the government" to step in and take control. Once you allow them control it becomes very difficult to regain it, but not impossible. However, if you will not or cannot look at the reasons YOU are responsible then it really does become impossible to regain control. This is the first step to fixing problems, recognizing their origin.

As for living under the radar and avoiding consequences, that is not a solution but rather will make matters much much worse in the long run. You know that already because you're not stupid.

You obviously has an above average intelligence, so getting it together shouldn't be out of you reach at all. I would be willing to wager that if you ONLY deleted drugs and alcohol from your life, then after a period of time you will gain control again and never look back. You know that is the underlying problem whether you admit it or not.

You are not so old that it's too late either. My life used to be way more screwed up than yours. Try fixing things with 15 felony convictions on your record and 5 separate incarcerations! My last trip to prison was over 25 years ago when I was 33 years old. I was released in 2000 and now have ALL those things you have lost and much more. Like the advice I am giving you, I began owning up to my hand in things. That's the first step, and then comes the desire to delete those things that effect good judgement ... like drugs and alcohol, or maybe anger or promiscuity. Whatever adversely controls your thinking.

I am not going to tell you to turn yourself in because you already know if there's any hope to a future you have to. I will tell you this, it may take YEARS to get things anywhere close to the way they were, but it is worth the seemingly endless loops you will have to jump through. Prove to yourself you can hang in there and when those little victories begin happening things will get easier and easier. Avoiding consequences is never an option or a good idea.
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Old 06-25-2015, 08:45 AM
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[quote=Taralynn214;7454527]No offense taken at all.

I read his post and I saw exactly the same thing. I just think that I see it from an addicts point of view if that makes sense. I dont know if i can explain this so that it makes sense. He knows that running isn't realistic, he knows that he has screwed up and while he knows this and says it he still hasn't accepted it.

Taralynn I would bet money that most of us who posted on this link have struggled with addiction.
A close friend once told me - Don't move from place to place and dig the same hole - I was so angry by his words. What did he know? But that one sentence clicked with me made a difference in my life. So when i notice myself doing really self destructive stuff I think about my friends words.
One day I was talking with a friend and I was crying - ya know one of those 'poor pitiful me kinda cries' and he stopped me mid cry and said I don't care what you have been through SHE ( his mother who is my boss ) is giving you a chance NOW. I took his words to heart and from that day on gave my 100% at work and I love my job. That same friend is now is in a load of trouble - I will be by his side through his storm, keeping him in check.... because his words saved my life.

Nothing I said was meant to harm the OP,.... Words are powerful and I wanted something I said to click.
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Old 06-25-2015, 09:45 AM
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The "I am drinking now" comment tells me he has no interest in working on his addiction problem, so he won't. As for the magic police spaceship, it is out there. Contact with any one of the millions of US law enforcement officers, for any reason (driver, passenger, walking down the street) can lead to an immediate arrest. That will always be a constant worry, but what he decides to do is completely up to him. My opinion, he is not thinking clearly, or the word Taxi would have avoided his repeated DUI arrests.

His financial situation is the least of his problems. Debt does not usually lead to prison, and bankruptcy is often a possibility to have them erased/discharged.
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Old 06-25-2015, 11:23 AM
Taralynn214 Taralynn214 is offline
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Nothing I said was meant to harm the OP,.... Words are powerful and I wanted something I said to click.[/quote]

I had a pretty similar experience as you. I
The whole production just gets exhausting. The same rat race over and over everyday. Then one day I read one of those life quotes that just made it all so clear. I had to move away from the enabling environment I was in. I had nothing and no one but myself to depend on for once and wouldn't you know that faced with the choice to sink or swim I swam.

Calling me out on my bullahit works, 100%. I can handle being accountable fir my actions. I reakizrd long agonthat the worst thing someone can do to punish you is kill you, everything else is survivable so just own it.

Not everyone is that way, maybe we thinking that all this person needs is to do this or that. We don't know and we are also missing body language and tone of voice.

I get not condoning what he is asking, I just don't see his comments as anything but a cry for help. He knows but can't accept. He is looking for someone to say its going to be okay know matter how bad it is there is a way through it. So when he is getting the complete opposite he goes on the defense.

Like I said his posts really bothered me, it's like I can feel the desperation he has. Alcohol, despair and hopelessness do not mix well
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Old 06-25-2015, 12:13 PM
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Having lost both a good friend and a 6 yro nephew to drink drivers, I have no sympathy, nor do I care for the coarse language by OP.

No one can help him, HE is the only one who can and as we can see, no lesson learnt. Some have to plummet to the depth of Hell on Earth to get the message, others will never get it. But one thing is for sure, as long as just one person enables them, they will keep going. I refuse to be that enabler, I refuse to tell him it will be ok because the road he is on is to self destruct. Yes, the truth hurts but *coochie coo, it will be ok* is a blatant lie.
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Old 06-25-2015, 01:34 PM
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Oh and OP, I forgot to answer your question. I am aware of the whole addiction: disease or moral defect argument. But I don't buy it. If you REALLY had no choice then you would inject yourself in front of cops or drink in front of them and then get into a car. It is a choice, everything else is a lame excuse to justify your unwillingness to do something about it ie get sober and your act together.
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Old 06-26-2015, 12:25 AM
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Ladies and gentlemen, you are wasting your time. You can talk until you're blue in the face but the reality is the OP is searching for a way to avoid prison but most importantly is still digging for reasons to feed his/her alcoholism. Sorry to say he/she hasn't hit their personal bottom yet. A person has to WANT to quit or it doesn't work.
And don't get to upset about the comment about blasting ones self. We all want to die when we think about the shit we lost with bad choices because we were under the influence. I know I did and so did 99% of my group.
That's probably why he doesn't reach out to people like me, we call them on their bullshit in a meeting because we don't care if you lost a fleet of bad ass cars, 20 million dollars or VW and 5 bucks...no one is better then anyone else, we're a bunch of drunks that lost everything too.
You need to step away from the bottle and figure your life out while you're still young.
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