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Old 12-20-2012, 11:08 AM
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Default Soldier Vs. Inmate

Just a little something I came up with....
The Deployed Military:
  • Can call but can’t receive calls
  • Has unlimited time to talk on the phone
  • Can email without worry who reads it
  • Can send letters and receive letters
  • Is usually only deployed for a year or so
  • Work for very little pay
  • Wears a uniform
  • Gets called by their last name
  • Can receive care packages containing a number of different items
  • May have to share a room with up to 3 other people
  • Untimed showers
  • No Cell
  • Could’ve possibly killed someone
  • Is looked at as a hero

Prison Inmates:
  • Can Call but can’t receive calls
  • Has 15-20 minutes to talk on the phone
  • Can email but it’s monitored
  • Can send letters and receive letters
  • Could be gone for life without parole
  • Work for very little pay
  • Wears a uniform
  • Gets called by number
  • Can’t receive care packages
  • May have to share a cell with up to three other people
  • Timed showers
  • Could be locked in their cell for 23 hours a day
  • Could’ve possible killed someone
  • Is looked at as a horrible person
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Last edited by Kay_2012; 12-20-2012 at 11:46 AM..
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:00 PM
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First 2 different worlds with different circumstances and honestly there is no comparison except military deploys away from their families.

My ex was military when he deployed we didn't have unlimited time on the phone and he wasn't able to call often. His shower was like a prison bird bath. He lived in a tent and ate crappy food. Military life is way different then being with someone in prison.
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:08 PM
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I agree with ladyblaise, I had one son in afghanistan and one in county jail... two totally different kids, and totally different circumstances. Although my son did have a cell phone there ( he had to lease a satellite) and his computer and we skyped alot
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:13 PM
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The points you make are not valid in every case. They are generalities, simply put. I have had girlfriends whose men are in the military and they are envious that I have more contact with my incarcerated man than they can with theirs. They also tell me of the poor living conditions their military husbands and boyfriends are subjected to. At the same time they acknowledge that this is not the case for everyone. When all is said and done there is no basis for comparing the two situations, it's a bit like the apples and oranges theory...
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Old 12-20-2012, 05:31 PM
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My kids father was military and then an inmate...another relationship with Military man, no prison...now this relationship my man in prison, no previous military service. So I think I have experience on both sides of the fence,
and while each life has it's own set of challenges, there is no comparison.

I have heard this many times before how in theory they are the same. I honestly think the theory is borderline disrespectful to military families. Just my opinion.

I Love my man and am down for Him, but...lets be real about it.
He didn't go to prison to protect our country, he didn't make a choice to serve our country and make it a safer place for our grandchild.
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Old 12-20-2012, 06:03 PM
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Having done both, I agree that the two can not be compared, except possibly a military brig versus prison. Soldiers are in the military because they choose to be there, maybe not where they are deployed at the moment, but "in the military". Prisoners are being punished, and that's pretty much the sum total of that.

Soldiers sometimes endure great hardships, but they are there because they are willing to perform whatever sacrifice is required of them for the greater good. In an earlier time, I was able to call home once in three years, and had zero "visits", but that was an acceptable price (for me anyway) that came as part of being in the military.

That in no way excuses the decisions our society has made to imprison so many people who absolutely do not deserve to be locked up, and are thus being punished unfairly. I understand why families with wrongfully imprisoned loved ones object to the conditions they are forced, and did not volunteer, to experience.
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Old 12-21-2012, 07:19 AM
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There are some similarities but no comparison at all!
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Old 12-21-2012, 07:51 AM
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Soldier v Inmate

Both are likely to have somebody sitting at home, praying for their safety and counting the days.
Beyond that, I've got folks I love overseas and I've got folks I love behind bars and the differences utterly overshadow any parallel.
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Old 12-21-2012, 09:11 AM
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No comparison. Soldiers are there because they want to be there and are fighting for our country. I would never compare the two.
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Old 12-21-2012, 09:29 AM
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Military people are doing a job they have chosen to do.

People are in prison because they have chosen a crime.

I don't think anyone in the military would like to be compared to an inmate. A lot of people are proud of the ones in the military. Nobody's proud of someone thats broken a law that was bad enough to put them in prison/jail.

But i do see what you are saying. When he was first taken away i had those same thoughts but now i feel funny that i ever did!
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Old 12-21-2012, 09:40 AM
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I've always wondered what the similarities and differences are as I know both endure harsh living conditions. Being in military is looked upon on while in prison or jial is frowned upon on.
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Old 12-21-2012, 06:29 PM
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I am really happy to see others say there is no comparison! Being in the military, especially now, is a self-less act. Most crimes are committed by selfish people.
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Old 12-21-2012, 07:47 PM
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Being in the Army, I must say it's no comparisons. Thank you all who have commented and have said the same.

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Old 12-21-2012, 08:02 PM
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I find it rediculous that this "comparison" between the two comes up from time to time.. Smh.. Isn't the first time on PTO.. Hopefully this is the last thread about it cause I too agree its disrespectful!!
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Old 12-22-2012, 12:56 AM
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I do find it interesting that a lot of the structural terms we use in the military, prisons use as well. Commissary, mess/chow hall, latrine, sick call, sure there are a few others I can't think off the top of my head.

When people try and draw a comparison I think they're trying to make the parallels in how discipline and structure is meant to be the culture. Inmates are supposed to obey, as are soldiers, you carry out these orders for different reasons but none the less are expected to carry them out no questions asked. You're to conform and toe the line, and the consequences are very dire if you disobey. In this regard I see how a correlation could be made.

Now principles? Worlds apart I would imagine. I met my fair share of "fellow" soldiers who I felt belonged in a prison rather then the military but this was an exception and most of us just wanted to do our duty, cash our checks and go home to our families at the end of the day.

....Which I suppose is what a prisoner wants to do as well.
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Old 12-22-2012, 12:44 PM
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I was a Navy Wife for 10 years. My exH was on submarines. Emails and/or "family grams" were very few and far between, and monitored. Everything was read. The military (all military, but definitely on a sub) needs the guys working at 100% capability. If they were to get a Dear John letter, or an email about their mother dying, they may not be able to perform their duties. So those messages can be saved until a better time, or a chaplain can be called in port to be there when they get the news. You can't just send someone home from the middle of the ocean (at least not easily), and they can't call either.

The longest I went without any communication from my husband was 53 days. I watched the news every single night to see if anything happened to the USS Seawolf. It was agonizing. In order to even send emails, the sub has to surface to get a signal and that can give away their position. So if they need to "Run silent, run deep" they won't be able to communicate. The ONLY time I was able to get phone calls was when they'd pull into port, and they wouldn't be long because it's expensive to call from Norway, Guam, or Spain, etc. even with phone cards... Plus when they find a phone, or someone has an international cell, there's often a line of men anxious to call home.

Now, on the other hand... My bf calls every day. I'm not constantly worried about his safety (at least not on the post-9/11, the-terrorists-would-love-to-hurt-some-sailors scale that I was worried about my exH). And he is able to send letters all the time. I get at least one letter daily.
As far as communication goes, this is way better! Outgoing emails in the military (at least on the subs) are also monitored... Remember "loose lips sink ships", they don't want any guys writing home to their wives telling them their location or where they'll be and when (huge violation of OPSEC). We knew about when they'd be home, but never got the official word until less than 24 hours ahead of their return.

There's no comparison, military is a great service to our country, those men and women volunteer to give up time with family, and often give up the chance at a better paid job to keep us all safe. I have nothing bad to say about inmates, I know some were honestly just dealt a bad hand... But at least on the communication and "secrecy" (OPSEC) end of things, I prefer what I'm dealing with now.

Also, I personally know some military members who decided they couldn't handle it and claimed suicidal thoughts or being gay to get discharged (before the repeal of don't ask, don't tell). Certainly won't get out of jail early by claiming suicidal thoughts or being gay.

Just my personal opinion.
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Old 12-22-2012, 01:20 PM
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I dealt with both...my son on a deployment in Afghanistan and my man in prison. There is NO comparison. In 6 months I got maybe 20 very short calls from my son and 2 emails. I never knew where he was or what exactly was going on. And you'd better believe all emails and mail are monitored! They are not allowed alcohol or pornography there plus they check for other contraband and as someone else mentioned any communication where "loose lips sink ships" So they go through everything. When my son was out in the villages he was lucky to get a shower once per week and he pooped in a hole in the ground right next to other guys. Sometimes he slept in a hole in the ground. And every time they were on a chopper, in a Hummer, or in a town or village who knew when it could be the end of his life or the loss of limbs. He watched friends die or be maimed. In fact his base had a massive attack just one week after he left and 4 of the Marine he knew were killed and others injured in a fight that lasted 6 hours...my son missed that by one week.

My man in prison has NO idea what that is like. And yes, even my man calls my son a hero...he signed up for it and is happy to protect his country and put his life on the line when necessary. My man gets to call me almost every day and I can visit him...I can't visit my son when he's deployed even if I wanted to. If someone were to notify me that an incident happened with my man it would probably be a disciplinary action or maybe even a fight....the chances of him being raped or killed are MUCH lower than the media and other people make it out to be. My son...if something happens to him I'll get a chaplain knocking on my door....do you have any idea how many times I've been scared to open my front door when the mailman comes up?? There's just no comparison.

Someone brought up the similarities with regards to discipline and environment and actually I think if they put prisoners into more of a boot camp like environment it would be helpful in rehabilitating some men. They would learn respect, organization, self-discipline, how listen to authority, become mentally stronger and probably learn some really good skills too. Instead the system lets them sit around bored and talking to each other about their crimes and some even begin to plan future crimes.
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Old 12-23-2012, 01:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inhishands View Post
My kids father was military and then an inmate...another relationship with Military man, no prison...now this relationship my man in prison, no previous military service. So I think I have experience on both sides of the fence,
and while each life has it's own set of challenges, there is no comparison.

I have heard this many times before how in theory they are the same. I honestly think the theory is borderline disrespectful to military families. Just my opinion.

I Love my man and am down for Him, but...lets be real about it.
He didn't go to prison to protect our country, he didn't make a choice to serve our country and make it a safer place for our grandchild.

Well said Inhishands. While its may help some to romanticize the similiarities between the conditions of military life and prison, I agree it is a disrespect to military wives/husbands. Military officers and personnel signed up to their professions, they work hard to climb ranks, they endure seperation from their families and life threatening conditions of war in the interest of protecting their country, offenders broke the law and got caught, there is a huge difference in ideology, morality and intent.....
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Old 12-23-2012, 01:58 PM
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I think some of your points are good. But not true in every case.
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Old 12-23-2012, 02:25 PM
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I have heard these comparisons between prison life and military life before. Even though I think there are some similarities between the lifestyles, I think it is a disservice to everyone to focus on comparing the two.
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Old 12-23-2012, 05:43 PM
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As a military wife and a sister of a prisoner, I find the post offensive!
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:40 AM
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And, with that, I think we're unlikely to go uphill from here- So, Wishing a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone who is not where they want to be, this thread is closed.
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