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  #26  
Old 06-18-2012, 09:32 PM
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I have always been honest since we started dating.. I sometimes feel like it bites me in the ass with how he reacts like right now not speaking to me..but he said my honesty is a huge part of why he married me and loves me so much..
When the phone rang last night and I knew I had to tell him my heart almost jumped out of my chest..all I could do was cry... I don't know what was wrong with me..why I didn't stop it more... I cant believe my friend instigated this..she was making moves on me then he was...I said I had to pee 3 times she kept pushing me on the bed, I tried to put my pants on 3 times a few mins later and they were like trying to pull them back off..I finally got pissed off.. I should have just stayed home and not gone out. I had already told my husband that day I felt lonely.. I shoulda known it was a bad idea.
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  #27  
Old 06-18-2012, 09:32 PM
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its kind of a no Brainer as to what happen, girl don't beat yourself up, we all have weak moments, pick yourself up and move on. This is a hard situation for anyone. Mark told me when he got sentenced that he could not ask me to not be with anyone else but he didn't want to know. Don't make a mistake and tell him if he is one to sit and worry. i would never tell Mark anything that would hurt/worry him because there is nothing he can do in there to make it better. just think about it, but dont beat yourself up. To err is human.....you are human and this situation is not one that anyone wants to be in. Cheer up, chalk it up as a lesson learned. Vent to us, cry to us, tell him if it can make things better.....SMILE, YOUR HUMAN, YOUR NOT A SLUT!
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  #28  
Old 06-18-2012, 09:34 PM
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Well all I can is You arent the first person and you wont be the last.. You'll hear stories in the future and the best thing is to learn from this mistake and prosper. Things like this happen all over this world to people you wouldnt think it'd happen to. It just does. Be there for your husband he has every right to be upset. Things get better for sure.
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:35 PM
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I considered not telling him, I just knew in my heart it was the right thing..and as many people as I talked to about it..I was also concerned it could get back to him...he said if I wouldn't have told him and he heard that would be means for a divorce so I think I made the right choice...it was more of a matter of do it through phone, email or visit..I chose phone because visit was 50 days away...but now I am going Friday...
He had told me a few months ago..If I do have sex all he asks is wear a condom.. he said the only thing he cannot forgive me for is having another mans baby..which I understand I've never had a kid.. I just feel like I failed so much as a wife, like I should have been smarter and stepped up and done something..
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  #30  
Old 06-18-2012, 09:43 PM
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I've never done something like this, but I have screwed up before, just as he has. We have both left one another hurt and confused. We took the time we needed to work it out.

I have learned that almost all obstacles can be overcome.

Have a safe trip and know that the healing wont happen overnight, but you are headed in the right direction.
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:44 PM
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You sound like you have totally taken responsibility and like you just had a bad situation and made a bad call, which I'm sure there are a lot of women on here in your shoes. I would not beat yourself up...I hope that it all works out at your visit. This is sooo hard to go through and gets really lonely, so I'm sure everyone can relate! ((hugs))
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  #32  
Old 06-18-2012, 09:44 PM
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You did the right thing by telling him immediately. In time he will appreciate that I'm sure. You could have easily acted as if it never happened but you didn't so big ups to you on that one!

Everyone makes mistakes, what matters is if we recognize them and acknowledge we were wrong and you have definitely done that.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3
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  #33  
Old 06-18-2012, 09:48 PM
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Hine sights 20/20....sounds like you have definitely learned your lesson. in the grand scheme of things we love our men, we stand by them, and i don't Blame Mark for anything, i am faithful, but i didn't ask for him to be where he is. i'm paying the price for something from 5 years ago that i had no clue about until i was to in love with him to want out, although i would feel guilty, i would not beat myself up. it takes one hell of a woman to stand by their man through this.... i dont lie to Mark, so i can understand telling him, but dont beat yourself up so bad is all i'm saying. he has one hell of a woman to stand by him, and even more of a woman to tell the truth. it will be ok.... he loves you, he knows how hard this is.
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  #34  
Old 06-18-2012, 09:59 PM
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He does.. I will post his email.. it was amazing it made me cry for 5 hours though.. I just cant get it out of my head about how I just feel so slutty I don't know.. I have only had sex with my husband this isn't okay at all. I know he appreciates me being honest.. he may not act like it how I'd like for him to but I know he does.. I think this is just how he plans to deal with it.. What matters I guess is he isn't leaving me.. in the past I think (NOT SURE) but I think he's cheated before we were married, he denies it..hell he won't even tell me how many people he's slept with..something that bothers me that I will never know.. I think I am more honest then him when it comes to alot of things.. I may be wrong, or not..but I know I am honest I couldn't face him at visit with a huge secret like that..I just couldnt..I fully expect visit to be very emotional for us.. well I know I'll be crying like always.. I am not sure I am ready for all this, all the questions..some I know I can't answer which he hates...but I have to..I am trying to figure out what to say. I don't know, I don't know..that's all I can say.. literally..talking to my friend I kept saying that last night.. where did I go wrong, how'd it get to that point. I don't get it.. I just don't.

Anyways the girls name is Julie so that's who he is referring to in the email.. I know I am putting his email out here for everyone to see.. but I know one lady told me how lucky I am to have him after she read it.. and now the more I read it the more I agree I am lucky..he could have cussed me out, hung out, took me off his visit list, wanted a divorce..a number of things but he didn't..instead he sent this email and let his feelings out..

I have no choice but to get past it, I love you I want to spend my life with you so its something I'll just have to deal with. Its not ok what you did, it REALLY hurt. But I have to forgive you so I can move on. I would like more of an explination on how it happened and where your mind was at when it happened, but I know its somethin I'll probably never get. I could probably ask you a 1000 questions and still not understand. Julie is FOREVER dead to me and I officially absolutely HATE her, I blame this entire thing on her. I hope I never hear her name or see her face again. I want you to know like I said before that Im very in love with Honey I will never leave you as long as you continue to be honest with me and love me. I hope your feelings for me havent changed, I still want to live happily ever after with you and make babies and everything. Im so in love with you but right now I just need some time to collect my thoughts and put the peices back together in my heart. I probably wont call or email for awhile till I can figure out what to say but feel free to email n write all you want I'll still be checking it and readin. What I wanted to talk about on the phone was the movie I watched called The Vow PLS I beg you , go rent this movie and watch it ASAP it reminded me of us in a way Love You ! Your Hubby
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  #35  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess1029
He does.. I will post his email.. it was amazing it made me cry for 5 hours though.. I just cant get it out of my head about how I just feel so slutty I don't know.. I have only had sex with my husband this isn't okay at all. I know he appreciates me being honest.. he may not act like it how I'd like for him to but I know he does.. I think this is just how he plans to deal with it.. What matters I guess is he isn't leaving me.. in the past I think (NOT SURE) but I think he's cheated before we were married, he denies it..hell he won't even tell me how many people he's slept with..something that bothers me that I will never know.. I think I am more honest then him when it comes to alot of things.. I may be wrong, or not..but I know I am honest I couldn't face him at visit with a huge secret like that..I just couldnt..I fully expect visit to be very emotional for us.. well I know I'll be crying like always.. I am not sure I am ready for all this, all the questions..some I know I can't answer which he hates...but I have to..I am trying to figure out what to say. I don't know, I don't know..that's all I can say.. literally..talking to my friend I kept saying that last night.. where did I go wrong, how'd it get to that point. I don't get it.. I just don't.

Anyways the girls name is Julie so that's who he is referring to in the email.. I know I am putting his email out here for everyone to see.. but I know one lady told me how lucky I am to have him after she read it.. and now the more I read it the more I agree I am lucky..he could have cussed me out, hung out, took me off his visit list, wanted a divorce..a number of things but he didn't..instead he sent this email and let his feelings out..

I have no choice but to get past it, I love you I want to spend my life with you so its something I'll just have to deal with. Its not ok what you did, it REALLY hurt. But I have to forgive you so I can move on. I would like more of an explination on how it happened and where your mind was at when it happened, but I know its somethin I'll probably never get. I could probably ask you a 1000 questions and still not understand. Julie is FOREVER dead to me and I officially absolutely HATE her, I blame this entire thing on her. I hope I never hear her name or see her face again. I want you to know like I said before that Im very in love with Honey I will never leave you as long as you continue to be honest with me and love me. I hope your feelings for me havent changed, I still want to live happily ever after with you and make babies and everything. Im so in love with you but right now I just need some time to collect my thoughts and put the peices back together in my heart. I probably wont call or email for awhile till I can figure out what to say but feel free to email n write all you want I'll still be checking it and readin. What I wanted to talk about on the phone was the movie I watched called The Vow PLS I beg you , go rent this movie and watch it ASAP it reminded me of us in a way Love You ! Your Hubby
Aww I can see why it made you cry, I almost teared up reading it. He sounds like a really decent man and you can tell he appreciated your honesty. And the fact he's willing to try and put this in the past is huge. Your honesty probably saved you on this one and you have a great husband. I really hope everything works out for you two.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3
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  #36  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:06 PM
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Great email, your fine girl, he's not Leaving you, visit will go ok, it will be emotional But you will know what to say. he loves you, the two of you will Get through it.
how in the hell do you Get emails? lol....i have to wait for snail mail.
i know it has to make you feel better to have all of us to talk to... i know it does me.
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  #37  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:08 PM
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Aww I can see why it made you cry, I almost teared up reading it. He sounds like a really decent man and you can tell he appreciated your honesty. And the fact he's willing to try and put this in the past is huge. Your honesty probably saved you on this one and you have a great husband. I really hope everything works out for you two.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3
It breaks my heart everytime I read it. I think we'll get past it.. It is just going to be awhile.. I also have requested that he tries to come closer to home so we can see each other more..there is a prison with his security level 2 hours away I could see him weekly..I am not sure if he will, but he may so that we can see each other more...I seriously just feel like such a horrible wife..I cant even take it.. ughh..
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  #38  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:10 PM
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if you were closer id come knock you out of it....lol....its ok to feel bad, look at the situation in a whole, you have a good man, you messed up, move on. ") glad you chose to vent/share. it helps to talk
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  #39  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:11 PM
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It breaks my heart everytime I read it. I think we'll get past it.. It is just going to be awhile.. I also have requested that he tries to come closer to home so we can see each other more..there is a prison with his security level 2 hours away I could see him weekly..I am not sure if he will, but he may so that we can see each other more...I seriously just feel like such a horrible wife..I cant even take it.. ughh..
Your not a horrible wife, what you did was horrible but that doesn't make you a horrible person or a slut just bad decision making that's all. If you were a horrible person you wouldn't feel any remorse and your pain shows that your human and know you have Messed up. Everyone f°˘ks up in one way or another.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:12 PM
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Hey girl! Try not to be so hard on yourself. It seems like you were put in a situation when you were very vulnerable and someone you should be able to trust encouraged it. Remember, we all make mistakes and he should understand that considering where he is. You may need to work hard to regain that trust again, but you seem to be doing the right things (not talking to her and deactivating fb) best of luck to you, and i am always here if you want to PM me! ❤
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:17 PM
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i guess im the oddball here i dont see why all the blame is on the friend :/ other then her hooking u guys up?? but OAN:its good you did tell him,rather then beating your self up over it .. you have nothing to worry about though its clear to see he loves you might take him so time to forgive but i think its something you guys can work out
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  #42  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:21 PM
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I feel better telling him for sure..although I feel like it did blow up in my face for the fact I wont be speaking to him till Saturday if I had to guess at least..
I did just block the girl and the guy... so that is done..
It amazes me when people know something is terribly wrong they come running like they were friends all along (I am noticing on fb my "friends" doing this).
I hate that I even had to post something like this..I never everrrrr in a million years thought this would happen to me ever ever everrrr!
I am so grateful he is being as calm as he is, I know it could have been about 1000 times worse and it wasn;t.. I am just scared to face this face to face.. I'll see him, it'll kill me to sit there and tell him to his face something I did that is hurting him so bad.. this is going to probably be one of the hardest things I'll have to do.
He did send me an email this morning, but none today and didn't get my monday call as expected.. but he sent this one this morning

If you read the email then you know Im not leaving you so get that out of your head. I'll accept your visit obviously I want to see you as much as possible. One thing I want to reassure you is that you being honest didnt blow up in your face, you did the right thing and like I said the fact that you where honest about it is the only reason I can forgive you and move on. If I were to some how find out and you hadnt told me Id be very bitter about it and I would defiantly hate you for it and the fact that you kept such a big secret from me would be means for a divorce, so dont think for one second that you shouldnt have told me or that being honest blew up in your face you did the right thing. Your honesty is one of the big reasons I love you n married you so never change that. Im not mad AT YOU necessarly just hurt, you kinda ripped my heart out and threw it on the ground soo I dont really have much to say to you right now. Love You & Always Will !!

Why did I do this to someone that loves me so much???
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:22 PM
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i guess im the oddball here i dont see why all the blame is on the friend :/ other then her hooking u guys up?? but OAN:its good you did tell him,rather then beating your self up over it .. you have nothing to worry about though its clear to see he loves you might take him so time to forgive but i think its something you guys can work out

Wasn't her really hooking us up exactly.. it was more her being involved as well.. and alcohol was involved with all of us..she is aware she started this whole thing..and they did it behind my back.. I am not blaming her..I know I should have been more aggressive about stopping...I was nervous, in shock..didn't even know what the hell to do
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:24 PM
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Great email, your fine girl, he's not Leaving you, visit will go ok, it will be emotional But you will know what to say. he loves you, the two of you will Get through it.
how in the hell do you Get emails? lol....i have to wait for snail mail.
i know it has to make you feel better to have all of us to talk to... i know it does me.
& corrlinks is how you email. It's the best thing ever I love it..Its an app on my phone now well I only love it when it tells me I have a message blah.
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:25 PM
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Wasn't her really hooking us up exactly.. it was more her being involved as well.. and alcohol was involved with all of us..she is aware she started this whole thing..and they did it behind my back.. I am not blaming her..I know I should have been more aggressive about stopping...I was nervous, in shock..didn't even know what the hell to do
ohhhhhhh okay i get it now you did the right then deleting her & him out your life.. dont get so upset though you have a amazing husband that loves you..seems like he doesnt want to lose you either..i hope you guys talk it out & have a nice visit this weekend.
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:25 PM
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I feel better telling him for sure..although I feel like it did blow up in my face for the fact I wont be speaking to him till Saturday if I had to guess at least..
I did just block the girl and the guy... so that is done..
It amazes me when people know something is terribly wrong they come running like they were friends all along (I am noticing on fb my "friends" doing this).
I hate that I even had to post something like this..I never everrrrr in a million years thought this would happen to me ever ever everrrr!
I am so grateful he is being as calm as he is, I know it could have been about 1000 times worse and it wasn;t.. I am just scared to face this face to face.. I'll see him, it'll kill me to sit there and tell him to his face something I did that is hurting him so bad.. this is going to probably be one of the hardest things I'll have to do.
He did send me an email this morning, but none today and didn't get my monday call as expected.. but he sent this one this morning

If you read the email then you know Im not leaving you so get that out of your head. I'll accept your visit obviously I want to see you as much as possible. One thing I want to reassure you is that you being honest didnt blow up in your face, you did the right thing and like I said the fact that you where honest about it is the only reason I can forgive you and move on. If I were to some how find out and you hadnt told me Id be very bitter about it and I would defiantly hate you for it and the fact that you kept such a big secret from me would be means for a divorce, so dont think for one second that you shouldnt have told me or that being honest blew up in your face you did the right thing. Your honesty is one of the big reasons I love you n married you so never change that. Im not mad AT YOU necessarly just hurt, you kinda ripped my heart out and threw it on the ground soo I dont really have much to say to you right now. Love You & Always Will !!

Why did I do this to someone that loves me so much???
Girl, i know it's easier said than done, but try to relax a little. His emails show how much he loves you and how he wants to forgive you and move on. No one's perfect, and in a weak moment a mistake was made. Yes this visit will be painful, but this too shall pass!
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  #47  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:27 PM
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I see eye to eye with MRs. Taylor

I wish you and your man nothing but the best, all the love and trust in the world. In glad you saw it was a mistake and regret it BUT...


You are a grown ass women! You have two legs, two arms, your own brain right? You make decisions for yourself. Don't blame another for your mistakes. You could have easily made it loud and clear, got the f*&^ up and left in the blink of an eye. You want to say you had to pee... Okay.. That you were tipsy... Whatever whatever. Excuses.

Take responsibilities for your own actions. Yeah, your friend is f*&^ed up!! I would stay away from her too. No one needs friends like that, but that could have concluded before you even managed to take your pants off. You don't need to get butt naked to realize she's a f*&^ed up friend.


You grown. You made a decision. She just made it easier for you..

Last edited by Patty; 06-18-2012 at 10:33 PM.. Reason: Watch the profanity
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:29 PM
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& corrlinks is how you email. It's the best thing ever I love it..Its an app on my phone now well I only love it when it tells me I have a message blah.
all prisons must not offer this, never heard of it before
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:32 PM
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I see eye to eye with MRs. Taylor

I wish you and your man nothing but the best, all the love and trust in the world. In glad you saw it was a mistake and regret it BUT...


You are a grown ass women! You have two legs, two arms, your own brain right? You make decisions for yourself. Don't blame another for your mistakes. You could have easily made it loud and clear, got the f*&^ up and left in the blink of an eye. You want to say you had to pee... Okay.. That you were tipsy... Whatever whatever. Excuses.

Take responsibilities for your own actions. Yeah, your friend is f*&^ed up!! I would stay away from her too. No one needs friends like that, but that could have concluded before you even managed to take your pants off. You don't need to get butt naked to realize she's a f*&^ed up friend.


You grown. You made a decision. She just made it easier for you..

I did take responsibility obviously or I wouldn't have told my husband... why do you think I am sitting here feeling like a shitty ass wife now.. everytime I got up she pushed me back down..it all started as her and I just having fun..I was just like whatever, my husband said if its another girl he could careless..so it started like that....that is how my pants got off..I actually don't even remember my pants coming off to be totally honest, but obviously they did
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:36 PM
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Princess1029 Princess1029 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 24chesney View Post
all prisons must not offer this, never heard of it before
If I am not mistaken I think it is just a federal prison thing.
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