My Son

JoeysMom · #1 11-03-2002, 06:32 PM

I am going to need a lot of suport through this...

My son has been sentenced 23 and a half years... nothing like this has ever happen to us so I am asking for help...
Joey has been ok but today he is really depressed... he will be 43 when he gets out and he is thinking he wont have any life because of the mess... when he's ok so am I but when he gets like this I don't know what to do... Joey has a girlfriend that is 25... he doesn't think she will beable to wait for him... What can I do for him??? Patty

SHERRON · #2 11-03-2002, 07:03 PM

JOEYSMOM ALL YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR SON IS SUPPORT HIM THE BEST WAY THAT YOU CAN. DID YOU GET MY PERSONAL MESSAGE? SHERRON

JoeysMom · #3 11-03-2002, 09:10 PM

I'm sorry I didn't answer you faster but I went to see Joey for the last time for about three months... they are sending him away and we can't see him until they find out where he will stay for the next 13 years

I'm praying believe me... I just wish Joey would calm down...

Budwoman · #4 11-04-2002, 09:25 AM

Dearest Patty:

Stay beside him. There will be so very many times that he will take his anger out on you. Sometimes it is very hard to take. Sometimes you want to just take him and shake him. I really do know that feeling. But, In the long run, he will survive. Butch has been down since he was 24. He is now 37. His max out date is 2013, which means 11 more years. He will be 48. He too gets angry. He thinks he is in love right now with a girl me met while incarcerated. She worked for the DOC. She has had so many problems and the DOC has taken them out on him that it is unreal over the last 2 years. But, I look at it as this is his decision. He is bringing this down on himself.

Keep Loving and supporting your son... Try to stay on an uplifing keal when you talk and visit with him.... Just hope that he does not fall in love with anyone while in prison. And, yes, his girlfriend probably will leave him. Most do, But that is a bridge he will have to cross when it comes. Then again, If she really loves him to begin with, She will stay.

My Prayers and Love

Donna

lulu · #5 11-04-2002, 10:09 AM

Joey'smom,
my name is lulu and i have a prison ministry, if you would like , i can write to Joey and help give him encouragment, ,y heart goes out to him and your family, if you youw like, please feel free to email me ,

lulu66@netwest.com

Soul SLiver · #6 11-04-2002, 10:11 AM

Patty,

First let me say even though I do not know you all too well (YET!), that you are a wonderful person to stand by your son (I say that because I ran into a father over the weekend who says that his wife has disowned their son, and did so as soon as his term began. They are now going through a divorce because she is so upset that her husband will still allow him their son in his life). There will be times where he will get mad, and he will become spiteful and please know it's not being directed towards you!!! He simply needs to have his mood swings just as everyone in the world does!

As far as his girlfriend, his fear is rightful. Sometimes women cannot stand by during the entire sentence, and there are people who do feel that it's unfair to ask that of them. I hope that she is able to stand by him, but if not, the pain of that will pass as well. We will all do our best to make sure that he gets letters if he ever feels lonely!

23 1/2 years seems like forever, BUT IT'S NOT!...here's what my friend told me about his time - this came the inmates around him. "The first year will seem like an eternity. It takes time to build a routine for day to day life and then it starts going faster." I know that's not much, but so far he's found it to be true.

I will keep you, your son and his girlfriend in my thoughts and prayers. We are here for you

love muffin · #7 11-04-2002, 12:45 PM

Patti,

I know your situation is very hard! Stand beside your son and try to understand when he gets depressed. Love him unconditionally and never forget that he is a man. Yes it is always a possibility that his girlfriend will not stay. It takes alot of love, patience, and understanding to go through everything this girl is going to encounter. Just be there for him and never try to persuade him or convince him that this woman doesn't love him. If she doesn't or is unable to wait for him as a man he needs to handle that by himself. My Fiancee is in prison and I have stood beside him for two years now. I am the girl Donna is talking about in her post. I love Butch with all my heart. He and I know each other more so than alot of married people know each other. Just pray that your son will be able to handle all of the pressures of prison life and always remind him of how much you love him. Also, try to never send him negative letters with hateful words inside even when he upsets you cause WORDS ARE ETERNAL and you can never take them back. Always try to put his needs ahead of yours even when it seems impossible to do. In the end he will love you even more for it.

Take care. A Friend, Renee

**Ken** · #8 11-04-2002, 06:04 PM

Patty,

Lots of good advice above and so I don't sound repetitive I won't say all the same things...

All I can say is ensure that your son always knows that he is loved and supported and that will be his strength. Write him. Talk on the phone, and visit when you can.

JoeysMom · #9 11-07-2002, 02:49 PM

Thank you all for the advice... even thoe Joey is 30 years old I feel like he is still my baby... I am and always will be there for him there is no dought about that... as for the Mom that disowned her son alls I can say is that she has no heart... My son made some big mistakes yes but he still has a soul and his soul needs to know there are people that care about him... all the guys that have made mistake are childern of God and I know God would never want us to turn our backs on them... thanks again, Patty

JoeysMom · #10 11-08-2002, 12:12 AM

I am sorry I just noticed that I wrote Joey was in for 23 years that was a type o he got 13 years... I can't give my boy 10 extra years

Patty

Amelia · #11 11-08-2002, 10:08 AM

Dear Patty,

I know it is hard right now but things will get somewhat easier. People adjust to ANY situation they are put in and can survive anything and come out better for it. As for his girlfriend..TRUe LOVE survives all so if it is meant to be it will. Maybe it wont even be 13 years--perhaps he is eligible for parole?? Stephen (myhusband) and I have used this Bible verse to get us through whatever coems our way:

ROMANS 8:28--"All things are working together for the good for those who love God...."

Hang int ehre and please know that we are here for you whenever you need us...you are a good mother to love and support your son, it wont be easy but it is possible!! Love ya!

JoeysMom · #12 11-08-2002, 03:04 PM

I want to see if this works

JodyAnnShaw · #13 11-09-2002, 12:06 PM

Patty.... You have definately came to the right place for support and understanding. All you can do right now is love your son, and stand by him through all of this. God knows, it was my mothers love that pulled me through the hard times while I was doing time. Just hang in there, and keep the faith. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

Jodygirl