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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 01-20-2012, 04:43 AM
sadgirl53 sadgirl53 is offline
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Default How do I know he will still love me?

He is in prison for at least a year and we are going to have no contact am worried he won't love me wen he gets out and he might change i want him to know i love him and am waiting for him because if he doesn't know he may try to forget me
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Old 01-20-2012, 05:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadgirl53 View Post
He is in prison for at least a year and we are going to have no contact am worried he won't love me wen he gets out and he might change i want him to know i love him and am waiting for him because if he doesn't know he may try to forget me
It sounds like you have no faith in the love you two share. Maybe you have not been together very long? Or did you have problems before he went in? Why is it that you will have no contact? You cannot write letters? Most prisons allow inmates to recieve mail, even if they cannot get visits?

It sounds like there is more to this story than you are sharing with us. I suggest you write a lot of letters, and the next year will go by pretty quickly, if you stay busy and take care of yourself. Let him know how much you care and that you will support him. Nothing in life is a guarentee, so to say he will forget you, is based on your own insecurities in the relationship. If the love is strong enough between you two, allow this time for growth in the relationship.

I hope you are not writing this as a victim of DV (just a hunch this may be the case here). If you are, run as fast as you can from this person and consider yourself lucky to be alive. If not, I apologize for "reading into your post".

Either way, I hope you get things straightened out and find peace through it all. It takes a strong person to endure the journey of loving someone incarcerated, as if relationships are not a challenge to begin with.

I wish you the best

Peace~

Last edited by InmateLover67; 01-20-2012 at 05:03 AM..
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Old 01-20-2012, 06:52 AM
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Oh, you sound so very, very young . . .

Depending on the reasons for the non-contact, it might be best for you not to put life on hold here. If you're his victim, then he won't be permitted around you even after he's out, if he's on parole.
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Old 01-20-2012, 08:56 AM
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The no contact order is because this was a statutory thing- She's a minor, he's not.
In another post, she explains that they were together for several years, which means she was probably only 12 or 13 when they started.

Nevermind my opinion of an adult who has dealings with very young teens, that ship has obviously sailed, so all that can be done now is to mitigate the damage to all concerned.
If you care at all about him, you'll walk away- as I said before, all you can do now by hanging on is to prolong the agony and place him in more danger, legally and physically, than he already put himself in by pursuing you in the first place.
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Last edited by LeBeau; 01-20-2012 at 08:59 AM..
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Old 01-20-2012, 10:55 AM
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Don't think you understand it i wasnt that young only wanted some help but thanks
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Old 01-20-2012, 11:18 AM
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How old are you now? Today?
How old is he?
How old were you when this started?

Actually, it doesn't really matter- you were below the age of consent and he was not, therefore, the relationship was unlawful....and men jailed for improper conduct with minors tend to have a very hard time in prison. I am not condoning this at all but those who carry the stigma of a sex offense involving a minor are singled out for harrassment more than any other subset of inmates.
If this guy keeps his head down and his mouth shut, it's possible that he might get through his sentence without the details getting around but if you try to contact him, you'll make that very difficult.
And so, I say again, if you care for him, you will protect him by walking away.
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Old 01-20-2012, 11:37 AM
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I checked on Australian laws, and so I assume he was well more than two years older than you . . .

That means he will be registered as a sex offender once he gets out. How he will manage his life at that point is going to be his all-encompassing problem - where to live, how to get a job with his particular conviction, etc.

If he is still loving you, it will be at a distance, and his circumstances will be very, very difficult, because even if he makes parole he will not be permitted contact or conversation with his victim. I'm not sure how much post-incarceration control he will be subjected to .......

And yes, luv, you WERE that young, younger than any civilized government believes to be proper for sexual activity. It's the law, it's not personal.
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:08 PM
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Ok ta
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:35 PM
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Sadgirl53, the responders have your best interest at heart. Someone who would take advantage of your youth and trust is certainly not. But, I do understand that the heart loves who the heart loves. So, with that said - if there is a no contact order, no matter how much time passes by, if he truly loves you and you truly love him, the love can survive even the WORST situations. Time will tell. I certainly wish you well and hope that you are able to find some peace with your situation.
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