Relationships!

[bryanssong]

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

"An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs.

Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate has many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique
individual children of God who have decided to share a life together. Neither one of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past rationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.

You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self- esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

1. COMMUNICATION
2. INTIMACY
3. A SENSE OF HUMOR
4. SHARING HOUSEHOLD TASKS
5. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
6. DAILY EXCHANGES (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note)
7. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
8. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE, GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
9. ASKING GOD TO BE THE CENTER OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as "resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty and pain WILL replace the passion. " Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal. Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, And dance like no one's watching.

"It is dangerous to allow others to know you better than you know yourself."

[Budwoman]

Bryan

How very true this is. If we all made this our Motto, our lives would flourish. Relationships are made, not born.

Donna

[jdswifey02]

this is one to share with JD!!! I like the part about keeping both eyes open when deciding if you are going to be in a relationship with someone, but once you have committed to a relationship learning to keep one eye open and one eye closed... much wisdom in that statement!!

[B-Ray]

I just printed this one out. I don't know when I'll use it, but it's very good to have handy! Thanks for posting!!