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help!!! my man just called me last night and told me that he is leaving me because he feels that since he doesnt have a penny to his name or doesnt have anything to offer me and says that i dont need a jailbird in my life that its just best if he leaves me now...i am going nuts....are you serious????.....i dont care about that right now..his love is all i want right now....this is my first bid and granted i am still getting used to how things work this is crazy...our relationship started as friends before he got taken away and now he is my fiance....is this how guys think while they are in there or what should i expect??...i love my baby.....please tell me what to do
A lot of guys feel this way when they 1st go in. Mine did and at that point we had known each other/been in love for many years. It takes time for them to adjust to their surroundings and the fact that they are ultimately now dependent on their wife/girlfriend/fiance which for a lot of them is hard to adjust to especially if they have always been independent. Chalk it up to the male ego and feeling like less of a man since he can no longer be the provider. Give him some time to adjust to things and in the meantime, show him that you aren't going anywhere.
Be calm this is normal. He loves you so of course he feels you deserve more than he can give you right now. Just reassure him you love him and want to be with him despite the circumstances. It may take some time but he will eventually realize that love is what matters. This life is tough so it's hard for them to believe anyone would want to deal with it. He will have insecurity at times just stick by him and show him how much he means to you. Good luck.
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Very normal and well it's not likely to be the only time he says something like this either. Assure him that you love him and that you're not going anywhere. I told mine that he might think he's broke up but I'm not and to give his wife a break and quit being so rough with me. Yes believe me, we have gone through this more than once and we been together 7 years down 5.
Keep doing what you are doing, send letters, visit when you can ... he'll eventually see that his current circumstance hasn't changed your feelings. The ladies are absolutely right, it is part of the male ego and adjustment period. Keep your chin up!
thanks everybody..thats what i was hoping you were going to say...this is not his first time in prison but it is his first time in with someone on the outside waiting for him...i could tell the day he called me that he was not himself....i guess i will just wait till he is ready to call me and talk to me about it..thanks
I wouldn't say its normal. You can write him and tell him how you feel. I have also known friends who said that to girls they weren't really serious about and it's the perfect excuse to get rid of them-oh, I'm states property now, so I can't do anything for you. Would you leave him in any messed up situation, so why would he even say that? thats what you need to figure out, because its very hurtful and if you loved someone, you wouldn't tell them to leave for any reason. No matter how sorry you feel for yourself-pushing someone you love away makes no sense. I would write him and see if maybe that was just a bad day and expect that not to be the way to express it.
i just had a visit with him today and he suprised me when he told me that all the letters i sent him showed that i was being supportive gave him a whole new outlook and giving us another chance....he really didnt expect that from me....thanks for the advice....