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Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered.

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  #1  
Old 04-24-2011, 07:23 AM
Ricardo Coyote Ricardo Coyote is offline
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Default What goes on in prison, stays in prison!

He told me point blank yesterday that it is commonly accepted that what goes on in prison, stays in prison. In other words, don't be talking to outsiders about too much of what's happening. My husband did tell me some specifics that he thought I would be unhappy about and his cellie asked him why bother telling me? My husband did tell and even though the truth is a little hard to digest, digest I will. I guess I'm thankful he's telling me the truth, but it's still a little hard to take. Get through this we will.
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Old 04-24-2011, 02:48 PM
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This is sometimes referred to as the 'code' and works inside the prison walls too.

I think that it is hog wash, but the fact is that there are many things that go on inside the prison walls that many are talking about...

This is yet another way for them sometimes to just not tell us things. If your relationship with your loved one is solid and they trust you and you trust them - you would be hearing about things. They tell us what they want us to know.

Non-disclosure is not the truth. Hiding something is as much a lie as covering it by telling me something else.

In my opinion, if they are not talking about it it is because they are doing something they should not or that we would not approve of it - why else would they not?
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Old 04-24-2011, 05:07 PM
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My friend incarcerated was just moved from the county jail to a diagnotic center and he says its very homophobic there. He is not gay, but he says if you are caught talking to a known gay person they are going to shun you and consider you gay. He says he is not gonna go with the crowd and I told him he better mind his own business and not cause drama.
I have met men who have done time and have told me what they experienced.
Same sex relations happen.
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:09 AM
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I agree with Ken. If your relationship is solid then there is no need for the what happens in prison stays in prison c**p. To me this just seems like the best excuse for not being honest. If my man said that to me then I would have some real concerns.
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Old 04-29-2011, 08:52 PM
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I think maybe some of the other posters are assuming that "what goes on in prison" amounts to cheating? Which may be assuming too much? Or maybe they know you better than I.

I can share that my guy didn't share a whole heck of a lot about his days. Much like others have echoed he said you can't really tell one day from another. Weekends, holidays, they all look exactly the same.

My guy knew that I watched LockUp and not that I have a violent fetish I did want to know if that's what life was "really" like in prison and he kind of brushed me off. He treated me like his family. No sense in telling you that he saw a guy get jumped or lose an eye...all that would serve to do is make us fearful for his safety and he knew that there wouldn't really be anything we could do to make him safe. So...he just focused on us, or his past before he got locked up.

If it's something that he shared with you from his past that's no longer happening. Then just know and accept that everyone has made mistakes and not everyone will share the same morals and values you to. (Nevermind that morals and values change over time.) There's not a single one of our guys who got locked up for singing too loudly in church.

I say kudos to you and to him for having the intestinal fortitudue to have the difficult conversation and hopefully move beyond something that was eating at you.
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Old 04-29-2011, 09:04 PM
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Originally Posted by luckyme_in View Post
I think maybe some of the other posters are assuming that "what goes on in prison" amounts to cheating? Which may be assuming too much? Or maybe they know you better than I.

I can share that my guy didn't share a whole heck of a lot about his days. Much like others have echoed he said you can't really tell one day from another. Weekends, holidays, they all look exactly the same.

My guy knew that I watched LockUp and not that I have a violent fetish I did want to know if that's what life was "really" like in prison and he kind of brushed me off. He treated me like his family. No sense in telling you that he saw a guy get jumped or lose an eye...all that would serve to do is make us fearful for his safety and he knew that there wouldn't really be anything we could do to make him safe. So...he just focused on us, or his past before he got locked up.

If it's something that he shared with you from his past that's no longer happening. Then just know and accept that everyone has made mistakes and not everyone will share the same morals and values you to. (Nevermind that morals and values change over time.) There's not a single one of our guys who got locked up for singing too loudly in church.

I say kudos to you and to him for having the intestinal fortitudue to have the difficult conversation and hopefully move beyond something that was eating at you.

I work at a prison and it is all not that bad. they have their good days as well as their bad. every now and then we see things that is unspeakable.
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  #7  
Old 04-30-2011, 06:15 AM
Ricardo Coyote Ricardo Coyote is offline
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@luckyme: You're right. I am talking about more than whether or not he's having an affair. I am talking about what does he do when he first gets up? What do he and his cellie do together -- cards, tv, conversation, read? What groups is he participating in? Which ones does he like? Which ones does he dislike? What are the showers like because he usually phones me while he's waiting for a shower? What does he do in day room? Who does he hang out with? Who are his friends? Any really good friends? Any people he avoids? What does he do out at yard? Sports? Which ones? What classes is he taking at school? Which ones does he like? Which ones does he dislike? Who is his teacher? Are they good or bad? What is chow like? What does he eat? What does he like? What does he dislike? What does he do when he is locked down?
This is just the beginning of questions that I have for him. Many I have asked and he ignores. No, most he ignores.
And, yes, there are questions about his sex life inside. I am fairly confident he is not with someone. Despite his silence about mundane things, I am pretty sure he would talk to me if he were with someone or had sex or anything like that. I don't think there are a lot of opportunities to have sex with anyone. It would have to be planned unless it were a cellie and I don't think there is any attraction between them.
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Old 04-30-2011, 09:25 AM
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your computer acting up too?
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Old 04-30-2011, 07:29 PM
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At first my guy didn't want to answer EXACTLY those types of questions. I'm not for sure what the deal was. It definitely wasn't that he didn't want me to know, it's that he thought his life was insanely boring and uninteresting. I think people on both sides of the prison walls fall into that trap.

How was your day?
It was good.
Do anything exciting?
Nope.
*crickets chirping*

You have to remember that these guys have been in many, many situations where someone who asking too many questions has already decided that they're a piece of trash and is just trying to fish it out of them. So...if you're hurling a load of questions at him there is an outside chance he thinks that you're fishing for information and if he's not sure why you're fishing for it, he might just clam right up. (After all he's in prison, no one can be THAT interested in prison life? Right?)

You might stick with a neutral question and ask him how his day goes. That gave my guy enough space to tell me what he wanted and leave out the things he didn't want to talk about. It gave me a glimpse into his life and both of us things to talk about. Since he mentioned he got up and watch TV I could ask what does he watch.

It's tricky just remember that for these guys asking a LOT of questions makes them lock up tighter than Fort Knox. Let him be him. He has to remember to call you so obviously he cares about you. Give him time to open up. In the mean time just accept that there will be some awkward silences.
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Old 05-01-2011, 01:32 AM
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Just for the record I wasn't just talking about cheating. I was talking about being honest.
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Old 05-03-2011, 10:18 AM
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@Ricardo I do understand what you are talking about. When My honey first went in he didnt talk about anything. I think in some way it was a real ajustment. It took him a few years. Im not sure how long your man has been in. Mine use to say that he had to watch what he said cause he was a "fish" and he didnt want to be called a "Rat". About 1 1/2 years and 3 prisons later he then starting to answer my questions. If I ever ask something and he doesnt want me to know he will say that he loves me and he doesnt want me to worry about that. He has told me what he does daily and it doesnt change much. He always wants to know what I am doing min by min. He said that it makes him feel closer to home. I could not even picture what it would feel like to be moved away from your home and family and put in prison. Were you have to watch what you say, what you do and how you act 24/7. Also knowing that most the guys in there have done dirt and some got dirtier than others. Maybe trying and asking if he has a TV or raido in his cell or even gosh it was a nice day today did you go to yard? About the shower thing ask if he was able to get hot water or how long he gets to take a shower? Those are yes and no answers and that may lead to you getting the info you want. I hope that helps you.
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Old 05-03-2011, 08:20 PM
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@A&F+22min: Thank you so much for the kindness of your reply. Yes, it is very helpful. I am slowly feeling my way along. I wish I had someone here with whom I could talk but my friends out here haven't a clue what it's like and get tired if I talk too much about it. My man doesn't know what it's like for me and gets very impatient with me if I say too much. "I'm the one in prison. How do you think it is for me?" is his usual answer. Loving someone in prison is a very lonely life.
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Old 05-03-2011, 09:54 PM
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@Ricardo, Yes it is. I think the hardest thing is noone I talk to really understands what its like for me. I have been doing this just shy of eight years and have about that long to go. Now, dont get me wrong we have had our ups and downs or I like to say the life of the ins and outs. It was(and still is) hard for me. If you dont mind me asking how long has he been in? I know what its like. I just wanted to find someone that understood what I was going through so I didnt have to stress him out which I still do I have just learned how to bring how I feel up better than I did before. Im here if you need to talk I will answer what I can.
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Old 05-03-2011, 10:10 PM
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@A&F+22min: You're going to think I'm silly because compared to you, mine is a drop in the bucket. He's been in a little under a year and has a year and a half to go. Right now we're communicating well but there is some drama in the works up there that may spill over into our relationship. But of course I guess there is always drama brewing that may spill over, isn't there? Thank you so much. You are very kind.
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Old 05-04-2011, 04:08 AM
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You are right that loving somoene in prison is a very lonely life. My friends that knew of the relationship all got tired of talking about him - even my best friends rarely now ask about him. I don't talk about him because any interest that they did once have is now gone. The novelty has worn off and some now say if I bring him up - 'oh, you are still talking to him?' It is difficult at the best of times.

I think that the above poster has a point that I am going to expand on... some of the shit that they don't want to talk about is orchestrated by them... I know with my guy - no matter how good he tries to convince me he is, he is still involved in some kind of shit that will make him money or get him something in trade. It generally always comes out because sooner or later he loses his job or something happens to expose it... when I question, he just says, oh, I was doing 'shit' and got caught.

So the stuff that they don't want to talk about - some of it is just better left inside like the brutality between some Prisoners, but other shit is just shit that they don't want to admit to... and they are not going to talk about it on the phone or in letters as they are monitored. They might talk about it during a visit.
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Old 05-04-2011, 05:41 AM
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@Ken: Yes, I think you are absolutely correct. That is some of what is going on. The other part is that I'm 90% sure he is involved on some level with another person or persons. He has a relationship with another person and he feels I should just adjust to it because "it's prison" and "everyone does it". He has told me a few things that I know he wouldn't like me doing but he is very selective in what he tells me.
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Old 05-04-2011, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricardo Coyote View Post
@Ken: Yes, I think you are absolutely correct. That is some of what is going on. The other part is that I'm 90% sure he is involved on some level with another person or persons. He has a relationship with another person and he feels I should just adjust to it because "it's prison" and "everyone does it". He has told me a few things that I know he wouldn't like me doing but he is very selective in what he tells me.
I hate to sound like a stick in the mud, but prison is no excuse for cheating and if anyone were doing things that I wasn't allowed to do in the relationship, then I think I'd have to consider moving on.

With my ex I heard every excuse in the book. "I don't want to be a burden on you, that's why I started talking to so-and-so.", "Everybody in here has got at least 4 or 5 people they're with.", blah, blah, blah. It's a personal thing for me and others feel differently, but for me there's just no excuse for cheating.
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Old 05-04-2011, 08:11 PM
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@luckyme: I agree with you. He and I are married and I just don't consider it acceptable to be fooling around. I told him no, but I'm just waiting to see if it sticks. If it doesn't, then we'll see what happens. So far his letters indicate he is faithful but occasionally he says things that make me wonder. Also this one guy is currently in the hole. When he gets out tomorrow we'll see what happens.
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Old 05-05-2011, 04:21 AM
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You know that with my guys's sentence, we made our minds up that we could 'cheat' and it works for us. We are realistic about it. It has to be a mutual decision and it was with us truly mutual. Neither one of us gave in to the other. We had sensible discussions about it in person at visits and we live by that now. My guy has been in the hole a long time now and sometimes if he is lucky he gets a cellie that is cool with a little action - makes the hole a hell of a lot easier to swallow - no pun intended.

It has to be mutual and prison does NOT make cheating ok. No way - never. Men especially still have a hand that can take the place and there just is no excuse especially on short bids...
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Old 05-05-2011, 06:20 AM
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@Ken: My husband and I have talked about this and I am fundamentally in agreement because of how difficult prison is. Part of the reason he is needing to be in a relationship is for protection, which I can understand. He's small. The other guy is big and can protect him. My guy is very pretty and flamboyant. Sooo, I can accept it in principal. What is hard for me is that he is also obviously attracted to the guy. I hear his voice soften when he mentions him. That is pretty difficult knowing that he has feelings for this other guy. Help, please.
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Old 05-05-2011, 07:05 AM
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Quote:
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@Ken: My husband and I have talked about this and I am fundamentally in agreement because of how difficult prison is. Part of the reason he is needing to be in a relationship is for protection, which I can understand. He's small. The other guy is big and can protect him. My guy is very pretty and flamboyant. Sooo, I can accept it in principal. What is hard for me is that he is also obviously attracted to the guy. I hear his voice soften when he mentions him. That is pretty difficult knowing that he has feelings for this other guy. Help, please.
Again...I still don't see any "reason" as an excuse for cheating. I think you might be in the same boat. My ex had lots of logical reasons why it was "not really" cheating. For us it was that he "needed" more money and didn't want to be more of a burden on me than he already was. If I looked at it only from that perspective, I could have been ok with it. But when it came down to seeing him show feelings towards a new person that I felt should have been reserved for only me....well it wasn't worth it. If the decision were actually mutual, you should be free to cheat as well which if I remember correctly you've said he wouldn't be ok with. Right?

Does your little guy need protection? Very possibly so. Does he have to cheat on you in order to get it? Absolutely not. What happens if his new "buddy" wants to pimp him out? That's also normal in prison...trade off your friend with benefits for a pack of smokes and let someone else have their way with them. Make it a regular little business by trading him around each day to anyone who wants to get their rocks off. It can honestly be a lot like a pimp and a ho. The ho "thinks" she's getting protection, but what is she giving up for that "protection"?

Just things for you all to think about and yes I know what I mentioned is a worst case scenario that I hope never happens to your guy. But it is a very real possibility and while protective custody may not be the best option or may not even be an option until something violent happens...but I think it's something to consider.

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Old 05-05-2011, 08:07 PM
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Thanks, lucky me_in. I really appreciate your thoughtful reply. Right at the moment I'm waiting for him to bring the subject up. We've spoken a couple of times and he's said nothing about it so it may be moot. We'll see. When I visit, I'll ask about it if it isn't brought up first. He said he spent the day out in the yard and didn't seem to indicate any problems so hopefully everything has quieted down. I'll just have to wait and see but if it's still an issue, you've definitely given me some food for thought.
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Old 05-05-2011, 09:08 PM
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My man is home now 11 months. It took a little bit but he started opening up to me about things he has done and had to do to survive that he has a hard time with. I sit and listen and I never pass judgement on him because its a hard life in there and if your in a long time there is even more they have done. I think its hog wash also that what goes on in prison stays in prison. Thats almost sounds like gang crap.
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Old 05-05-2011, 09:35 PM
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Kenneth, why do you think your man held it in? Why wasn't he more upfront about it? Do you ever feel like he didn't have to do some of the things he did but used "prison" as an excuse for doing them? Did he cheat while he was there? Did you know it was happening at the time? Please don't misunderstand my intentions in asking. I'm trying to sort some of this out for myself.
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Old 05-06-2011, 04:22 AM
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Ricardo - I do appreciate the 'pain' you are feeling around this and I also agree with everyone that has said it - prison is a hard and harsh environment. It takes a lot of strength to get through a bid especially if you are Gay and obvious to being Gay.

My guy is a bit of a thug and he is not feminine at all - he can look after himself - he can fight and scrap, but he chooses not to. Part of my guys attitude is also formed by how long he has been in - he has had all the games played with him and on him. He has been 'played' into a protection thing and then suffered for it - there is truth to the poster above that stated that protection does not mean giving it up or being pimped out.

The challenge we have is that you don't have all the information and we can only respond to what you know and share with us... we are probably all working on 50% of the information that we really need... but then we still don't know your guy's personality, strength, and ability to stand up for himself if necessary. We don't know the guys that he is locked up with and or the gangs that could be involved.

The really tough part for me is hearing some of your words because in my mind cheating is cheating and during the cheating you could very well fall in love with someone. I have friends with open relationships that have all these rules around them but in the end almost always these relationships end because emotions start to form with someone you are cheating with.

My guy and I have discussed this. I know I will likely fall in love with someone long before my guy gets out. My 'love' for him will continue - it will I know - but I doubt that love will be 'in love', it will be more brotherly love. We both know this. Our friendship is more important to us in the long term than the 'relationship' because as long as he is in there we really don't have a relationship - we have a longing, lusting, wanting, frustrating, and not being able to realize a relationship thing...
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