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  #1  
Old 06-21-2010, 07:15 PM
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Default Obvious signs he may be using you - add your ideas!

LADIES, LADIES, LADIES,!! LETS'S HELP THESE CURIOS PEOPLE OUT BY POSTING THINGS THAT ARE OBVIOUS SIGNS OF AN INMATE USING YOU, SO THAT THE QUESTION CAN STOP BEING ASK,"HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR MWI IS NOT USING YOU". WELL AND TO SOME OF THE WOMEN, ESPECIALLY THE ONES I KNOW, HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR FREE, JOBLESS MAN, THE ONE WITH 6 CHILDREN, FIVE BABY MAMAS,THE ONE WHO LIVES IN YOUR HOUSE AND DRIVE YOUR CAR IS NOT USING YOU!!!!! OR YES YOU'VE BEEN WITH HIM FOR 10 YEARS BEFORE HE WENT IN, BUT CAN YOU STILL SAY HE IS NOT USING YOU, HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU'RE THE ONLY WOMAN, AND THAT WHEN HE COMES HOME, HE IS COMING HOME TO YOU AND ONLY YOU OR HE WILL CHANGE HIS LIFE AROUND, START GOING TO CHURCH AND GET A JOB THAT'S LEGAL. UMMMM, YOU CAN'T SAY WHAT THAT MAN WILL DO SO NEITHER CAN THE MWI'S BUT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MWI DOESN'T MEAN THE MAN IS USING YOU. AND ME BEING WHO I AM FEELS THAT A PERSON CAN ONLY USE YOU IF YOU LET THEM!!!


HERE ARE SOME SIGNS AND PLEASE POST MORE!!!

1. IF WITHIN THE FIRST FEW MINUTES OF THE CONVERSATION, THE MAN ASK FOR MONEY, HE PROBABLY WANTS TO USE YOU

2. IF HE ASK YOU TO BRING ANYTHING ILLEGAL TO THE VISIT, HE PROBABLY WANTS TO USE YOU


3. WHEN YALL ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION AND HE SOUNDS LIKE HE IS GIVING A FAIRYTALE OF HIS LIFESTORY HE PROBABLY IS!!!

4. IF YOU ARE TALKING TO HIM FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME, LISTEN TO ANY GAPS IN HIS STORY. MAKE SURE WHAT HE TELLS YOU ON DAY ONE IS WHAT HE TELL YOU ON DAY 361!



I CAN POST SO MUCH MORE BUT PLEASE PTO, POST SOME SIGNS TO HELP OUR SISTERS OUT!!
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Old 06-21-2010, 07:46 PM
KeithsWifeyxOx KeithsWifeyxOx is offline
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LOVEEEE ITTTT.

Also I would add if he's close with his family but distances you from them, he's using you. If he asks you to marry him RIGHTTTT when you meet him, he's using you for security purposes. If he makes you 3way everyone and their damn mother on every single phone call, he's using you!

Very legit thread! Unfortunately it won't get through anyone's head since I'm sure this has been posted before lol. Just let them have their head in the clouds in lust and enjoy it while it lasts. It's sad, but hey, we should just let them be.
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Old 06-21-2010, 08:00 PM
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I love this, too. I'm trying to think of some. Oh! If your best is never good enough for him. You spare 20 bucks for him but he wants 40. Obviously a selfish prick and most likely a user. Also the serial committers. Girls always fall for it! No one that's real will want to tie you down after your first letter!
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Old 06-21-2010, 09:27 PM
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If he yells, lays on major guilt and/or threatens to dump you when you can't afford to send money, put money on the phone account or visit him - he's SO using you. I don't give a flying fig what his story is, no man should ever abuse his girl over money. Period.
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:59 AM
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If he tells you he is using other women for their money but you are his only one true love,run like a camel on speed.If he would use other women for their hard earned money,rest assured at some point he may do the exact same thing to you when he discovers his next "one true love".......

also,i feel in all fairness i should add women can use inmates also.not necessarily for money but for an emotional high.One very obvious sign of this,jmo,is a woman who breaks up with the "love of her life",to go back to an ex or she has discovered a new man.But comes back time and time again when the excitement of being with her freeworld man has dimmed.Personally i find that just as distasteful as the ways in which an inmate can use a woman.When it comes to using,that street def. can go both ways.

Last edited by BlueEyedEllie; 06-25-2010 at 10:00 AM.. Reason: punctuation
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Old 06-25-2010, 10:42 AM
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* He will go weeks with no call or letter, but if he knows you are visiting he is SURE to call her the day before to confirm his "order."

* If he only loves YOU, but just using the baby mama, the childhood friend, the ex-wife for money, favors, etc.

Unfortuantely I know of someone who is getting very clear red flags she is being used, but when I mentioned it, she got pissed at me and we barely speak because of it.
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Old 06-25-2010, 11:49 AM
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Ok ladyz heres the real i been 2 prison & i met guys threw the mail i did not use & really liked so thats not always the case w/mwi but there r a few that i did work that i know b4 prison so ways u can tell r when they tell u i need u 2 pay this if u dont somethings going 2 happen 2 me and he the person tells u what u wount 2 hear or 2 good 2 b true b on the look out ! I can also 4 the ones that have been hurt it stell dont mean u were used sometimes peaple say things n prison that they really mean & just when u get out things happen that it dont work the way u plan i hope this helps
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Old 06-25-2010, 12:38 PM
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I wish this was posted BEFORE I commited to my former MWI. God, after he paroled... ... I should have seen it comming.

"Your being used, when he tells you that you are the only one in the world for him and he only talks to you because you make him happy... but your phone account money has all been used up from calls he makes to "OTHER" people. And you only got 2 calls out of the week and he has relatives that are popping up from all over the place, when he 1st told you he was an orphan.
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Old 06-25-2010, 12:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissVal1920 View Post
* He will go weeks with no call or letter, but if he knows you are visiting he is SURE to call her the day before to confirm his "order."

* If he only loves YOU, but just using the baby mama, the childhood friend, the ex-wife for money, favors, etc.

Unfortuantely I know of someone who is getting very clear red flags she is being used, but when I mentioned it, she got pissed at me and we barely speak because of it.
Girl... I was one of those women too. TONS of people told me that the guy I was with was going to leave me and he sure did... I remember after picking myself up. I called EVERYONE who told me what was up and gave a great big apology.

You were being a friend.... So it's all good
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Old 06-25-2010, 12:48 PM
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To be honest Im tierd of reading these "How to know when he is using you." Everyones relationship is different. If you are questioning your man loyalty and his intentions then, you might be introuble. Im not directly making this towards you..Im just talking about all the threads on the MWI forum and all the other forums on here.
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:17 PM
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I think if u have doubts about ur man...chances r he is using u...women, are intuitions r very strong!
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Old 06-26-2010, 07:00 PM
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Because there are ALWAYS *new* people coming into the game we should never get tired of talking about this.
Think about it. The majority if people who were here 2 years ago aint even here no more so the threads will maintain certin *prison themes* because these are prison expereinces for new people.
I will NEVER get tired of putting peeps down on *game* becasue someone surely told me. Where would I be if Wifeys got tired of telling new wifeys in the game how things go.
I prolly got 4,000 posts on this subject alone so you know *I* dont get tired of talking about it,,lol!
Doubt is your BEST detective when dealing with strangers in prison.
to answer your question
When he tells you he has NO ONE in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, that every one bailed on him-you need to check that!
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Old 06-26-2010, 07:43 PM
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When he tells you he has NO ONE in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, that every one bailed on him-you need to check that!
I agree 100%.
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Old 06-26-2010, 07:56 PM
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when he knows you're broke, and he STILL asks for money...he might be using you.
when he is all sweet when he wants you to do him a favor....but not so much at other times....he might be using you.
when he asks for you to do illegal things....he might be using you.
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Old 06-26-2010, 08:15 PM
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I agree we all have our own relationships and yes people do get used even on the outside. I think when a man does not open up and does not want you to know his friends and family that is a red sign. None of us should be a secret when we are the ones taking care of them. Unless we are not the only one..
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Old 06-26-2010, 08:53 PM
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I know I'll probably get burned for saying this, but if it seems to be good to be true then it probably is.

I have been with guys who've taken advantage (out in the free world) and I hadn't thought twice about it because I thought it was too good to be true being with them. With my honey now, I feel like his equal and if he asks me for something it takes him a long while and also he knows that if I'm not comfortable (or can't afford it) then he'll have to ask his family. There's no guilt trip, no pressure and most of all he's told me a lot of stuff that could have sent me running and I'm still here. Utterly in love!

It makes me sad when women get used by guys inside, because it gives them all a bad name and there's a lot of people in there who do respect women and appreciate that it's so hard for us waiting on them. Just because they've committed a crime doesn't necessarily mean they are users/abusers/idiots. But you just gotta watch your back, like in any relationship :-)
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Old 06-27-2010, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gabbygirl372001 View Post
when he knows you're broke, and he STILL asks for money...he might be using you.
when he is all sweet when he wants you to do him a favor....but not so much at other times....he might be using you.
when he asks for you to do illegal things....he might be using you.
I agree with your post,all but the last sentence.If an inmate asks you to smuggle in contraband he IS using you,because someone that truly loves you would NEVER put your well being in danger like that.
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Old 06-27-2010, 05:42 PM
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I agree wih the others...if you have any doubt in your mind then chances are he probably is using you. Everyone's relationship is different! As for me and my situation I let my "hunni" know straight up that im not for any drama and nonsense and if i even suspect that he is trying to use me he will be "kicking rocks"!!!!!
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Old 06-27-2010, 06:05 PM
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If he tells you NOT to visit....he might be using you!
If he tells you to leave the visit early....he might be using you!
If hes always on you to send scantily clad pictures.....he might be using you!

Now remember....I said MIGHT...just because your man does these things doesnt mean he IS using you...it just means he MIGHT be! every situation and relationship is different.
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Old 06-27-2010, 08:32 PM
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I think as a general relation sign... thing is if he doesn't remember the little things that are actually a big deal. Like, say you're deathly allergic to shellfish but he HAS TO have it, when you remind him of such he's rude or tells you to "get over it" or to stop "making such a big deal".

I had one boyfriend tell me he didn't believe me on a couple of medical issues and rudely scoffed and said "Who told you THAT?" I replied "Every doctor I've ever had?" Anyway, my point is that he should remember little things that are important to you. I personally can't remember dates or time lines of things so I can understand people not knowing that kind of information but you can be damn sure to know that I can list his favorite things to do, eat, etc.

Also, if you're tired of reading a certain issue or post: don't read it. Don't ask everyone else (specially when it helps those people) to stop posting.

My two cents.

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Old 06-27-2010, 08:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gabbygirl372001 View Post
If he tells you NOT to visit....he might be using you!
If he tells you to leave the visit early....he might be using you!
If hes always on you to send scantily clad pictures.....he might be using you!

Now remember....I said MIGHT...just because your man does these things doesnt mean he IS using you...it just means he MIGHT be! every situation and relationship is different.

This is a good example of the MIGHT be ones. I don't think I'd want a visit if I was inside. Especially if it was only through glass. Or he could be telling you to save you the trauma of going though it all.

It's important to be open with your communications and have a certain level of trust. But I think we all need to be burned a time or two in order to be able to tell the difference.

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Old 06-27-2010, 09:05 PM
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If you're at visiting and he won't hold your hand or sit next to you and acts like he's bored with your company but then turns around (at the vending machine) and tells you he needs $500 on his books then he is using you................yes, I really observed this from a couple when mine was in reception. I wanted to scream out to this girl to run like hell!!!
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:46 PM
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Quote:
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When he tells you he has NO ONE in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, that every one bailed on him-you need to check that!

I have to disagree with this one. I personally know my mans family *they* are very limited. Most live in out of state and the two here are pretty much MIA. Thats fact, I would see where this would come in handy with someone who's MWI lives in another state though. I just wanted to argue with the queen of awesome threads.
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
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I have to disagree with this one. I personally know my mans family *they* are very limited. Most live in out of state and the two here are pretty much MIA. Thats fact, I would see where this would come in handy with someone who's MWI lives in another state though. I just wanted to argue with the queen of awesome threads.

It's definitely something to check on, as in, not take on blind faith.
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Old 06-27-2010, 11:49 PM
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Yeah, his mom got locked up 2 months ago. Parole violation...Plus..I live in anchorage, alaska. There's not too many people here. So, his mom is in prison, His friends are here and his OLD grandma. We don't like to ask her for nothing AND I don't take care of him. PLUS, Im not worried about being used. So, if you see me with a "MWI WARNING" posted. Say "I told you so."
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