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  #1  
Old 01-19-2010, 01:41 AM
elchapo elchapo is offline
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Default Probation drug testing... Please help!

I just accepted a plea that landed me 5 years probation with 6 months intensive probation. I have paruresis (shy bladder syndrome) and I am afraid that if I can't provide my probation officer with a urine sample I will go to jail. The judge said that if I violate I can go to jail for a a very long time.

Can anyone recommend any steps I might be able to take before seeing my probation officer? Is there anyway to arrange an alternate method of drug testing? I was told that I will have to take a drug test every week for 6 months and I am afraid I might have trouble.

Any help is greatly appreciated... Thanks.
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  #2  
Old 01-19-2010, 03:37 AM
VA PO VA PO is offline
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First, do you have a medical diagnosis of paruresis? If not, then do not try to claim that as a reason for not being able to provide a drug screen, as PO's get that excuse all the time. In VA, it doesn't fly at all with the Courts. We use urine samples, and if the offender chooses to have themselves tested another way, then they must pay for it . However, that is usually futile since the Court take our drugs screens into consideratioon, not ones that offender's have done, as they get to choose when to have the test done, so they tend to only have tests done when they know they will be clean. Ours are random, so they are a true measure of drug use.
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Old 01-19-2010, 04:26 AM
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Thanks for the insight. I haven't been diagnosed but I can't ever pee in a public restroom with people around. I've always just avoided it.

However... I have been clean for 18 months now. But yet I am still scared to death knowing I can go to jail for up to 26 years. I don't know what to do.
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  #4  
Old 01-19-2010, 05:12 AM
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I suggest drinking a whole lot of soda before you go to see your PO.
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:53 AM
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Green tea ~ it makes you pee whether you want to or not. Drink a lot of tea and water before you go. It's really not that hard and shy bladder is psychological, not physical. You just have to be more afraid of going to jail than of peeing in front of someone. My thought is always, "I know I'm clean, I've got nothing to be afraid of" and most of the time I have no problem peeing for my drug test. Half the time I volunteer even if I don't think it's time for me to test.
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:21 AM
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In Colorado they do mouth swab testing. Maybe you could request those instead of the UA. I know it costs more but in your case it may be worth it.
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  #7  
Old 01-19-2010, 09:32 AM
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If doing a UA, and you drink green tea, or anything else water-based, you'll dilute the urine. That's why soda is best.
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Old 01-19-2010, 12:56 PM
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I was recommending green tea because it makes you urinate. That's a medical fact. Soda doesn't always. Soda can dehydrate you causing you to retain fluid as opposed to expel it. The office I go to actually offers water to the offenders if they claim to have issues.

As a former medical assistant who worked in a lab, I should add that it doesn't matter if urine is "watered down" when it comes to drug testing. Unless you are in completely over hydrated and have drank gallons of water, the tests cannot be fooled. A glass of green tea will not affect the positive or negative outcome of a urine test.

Last edited by Sephora; 01-19-2010 at 01:41 PM..
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  #9  
Old 01-19-2010, 02:35 PM
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I do have to correct you here. The tests we use, which is the same vendor as many state use, test the level of createnin in the system. If it is too high, the test is considered invalid because it is "watered down". Our offenders know that if this occurs, it is an automatic violation for adulteration of urine. They also get tagged with a misdemeanor offense for substitution of urine as well. True the test will not be fooled, it will show excess amounts of createnin, and in VA, you will be violated. That is why I tell my offenders to drink soda, as it contains no water, and will not cause the test to show elevated levels of createnin. If you drink a lot shortly before the test, it should not have the effect of causing water retention, as there is a window where retention will not set in.
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Old 01-19-2010, 04:22 PM
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Both of you guys are correct in respects to drug testing. If drinking one glass or two of green tea that is. soda does dehyrdrate, but if you drink a can or two will cause you to want to pee. Drink some green tea and your bladder will let go, shy or not.

Just don't over drink too many fluids - Here in Arizona, roofers on probation in mid August are drinking water like fishes and often dilution does occur. A lot of them drink some thirst busters of soda if they are a bit shy, it comes out.
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Old 01-19-2010, 05:23 PM
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Thanks guys...
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VA PO View Post
I do have to correct you here. The tests we use, which is the same vendor as many state use, test the level of createnin in the system. If it is too high, the test is considered invalid because it is "watered down". Our offenders know that if this occurs, it is an automatic violation for adulteration of urine. They also get tagged with a misdemeanor offense for substitution of urine as well. True the test will not be fooled, it will show excess amounts of createnin, and in VA, you will be violated. That is why I tell my offenders to drink soda, as it contains no water, and will not cause the test to show elevated levels of createnin. If you drink a lot shortly before the test, it should not have the effect of causing water retention, as there is a window where retention will not set in.
I'm sorry but I have to laugh my azz off to anyone that says soda contains NO WATER. Are you serious????? Do you really think that???? That is so untrue it's comical. Soda is 90 percent water. WTF are you even thinking? Medically you honestly have no freakin clue. You are physically and medically hurting people telling them to drink soda.
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:39 PM
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how abouty water pills.. tht also makes u pee without wantin 2... jus keep drinkin alota water... and i dont think thay do tht typa of testin of tha urine havin 2 much water wit probation but i kno exaktly wht ur talkin about.. those type of test r usually used for high top jobs as of long shoreman.... usually people try 2 take pills 4 kleanin tha marijuana outa thar system b4 takin tha test and thay kan trakt tht and use tht against ur test...... but yes i do think water is tha best bekuz its all natural and thay kan tell if tha urine is 2 watered down through marijuana drainin pillz bekuz kum on its a lab..................................... also drinkin to much soda kan kause urinary trakt infektion from not drinkin enough water... so stay on tha safe side and jus keep drinkin 16oz bottles of water...........
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:47 PM
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I just ran up to my roommate to tell her that soda had no water ~ she fell off her chair laughing. Seriously, soda is over 90% water. Have you never gone to a fountain and had caramel just spill out? Carbonated water is 90 percent of the soda. I seriously cannot believe that anyone would believe or think that soda has no water. If you are telling people that they have recourse to fight you in court for telling them lies.
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Old 01-19-2010, 07:13 PM
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Sorry Sephora, I guess I need to speak more carefully around you. what I meant to say is tht it doesn not contain the amount of water that our tests would be sensitive to. My apologies for not speaking so clearly for you. I am just telling my offenders what our UA venders tell me, and since they are using science in their analysis, I tend to believe what they are telling me about the machine's sensitivities, not what you tell me. but thank you, I stand corrected. So, in conclusion, in VA tests and in the tests of several other states, our vendor tells us that soda will not produce the dilution that will trigger a violation. Happy now?
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:00 PM
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Originally Posted by VA PO View Post
Sorry Sephora, I guess I need to speak more carefully around you. what I meant to say is tht it doesn not contain the amount of water that our tests would be sensitive to. My apologies for not speaking so clearly for you. I am just telling my offenders what our UA venders tell me, and since they are using science in their analysis, I tend to believe what they are telling me about the machine's sensitivities, not what you tell me. but thank you, I stand corrected. So, in conclusion, in VA tests and in the tests of several other states, our vendor tells us that soda will not produce the dilution that will trigger a violation. Happy now?
No. Soda is 90% water and you are not giving accurate facts. Just drinking water will NOT medically dilute a test. Your statements make me wonder about your credibility. Soda is worse for people than water. So what your are saying is that you put your parolees in physical jeopardy and that your tests are medically flawed?
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:09 PM
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Here's what I do....I normally don't have problems but at times I do. If I'm not with my regular officer I can tend to be 'shy.' Since I know the night before that I'll be testing in the morning, I go to sleep without going to the bathroom. Then I wake up and drink a 32oz Gatorade G2. Then on the way to the test I go get a 20 oz coffee and drink that. Throw in a couple ice cubes to get it down fast. Then wait about 30 minutes and by the time you get to the test you'll be ready. That's my strategy and it always works. Not to mention I wake up, throw on some clothes, do the above, and head right for the test. Best to get it done first thing in the morning (7:30am) and most times I'm at the office before my officer and someone else carries out the test. Nonetheless, for what it's worth, my strategy works for me. I don't drink tea so I go the other route.
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:24 PM
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Quote:
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Here's what I do....I normally don't have problems but at times I do. If I'm not with my regular officer I can tend to be 'shy.' Since I know the night before that I'll be testing in the morning, I go to sleep without going to the bathroom. Then I wake up and drink a 32oz Gatorade G2. Then on the way to the test I go get a 20 oz coffee and drink that. Throw in a couple ice cubes to get it down fast. Then wait about 30 minutes and by the time you get to the test you'll be ready. That's my strategy and it always works. Not to mention I wake up, throw on some clothes, do the above, and head right for the test. Best to get it done first thing in the morning (7:30am) and most times I'm at the office before my officer and someone else carries out the test. Nonetheless, for what it's worth, my strategy works for me. I don't drink tea so I go the other route.
Oh my goodness....you are a UTI and kidney infection waiting to happen. May the gods help you not get ill. Are you doing all this because you do drugs and need to fool the test?? If you are clean, you don't need to do all this for a test. You're just going to give yourself an infection.
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:26 PM
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I was always shy taking drug test, after 10 years in the navy I learned the best way to over was first thing in the morning is the best pee. That's why they say to do a pregency test in morning. I would drink soda and water, and wait until I felt like I was going to pee my pants. Then if there is a sink run the water on full, and just relax! It get easyer in time.
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:34 PM
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Oh my goodness....you are a UTI and kidney infection waiting to happen. May the gods help you not get ill. Are you doing all this because you do drugs and need to fool the test?? If you are clean, you don't need to do all this for a test. You're just going to give yourself an infection.
Holding in your pee is not going to fool the test, it fact most of of the flushing of your system happens while sleeping so her test would show everything. Drinking water and peeing all night long would delute her pee and mess the test up. And they would see that. FYI I use to run the drug test.
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:36 PM
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Oh my goodness....you are a UTI and kidney infection waiting to happen. May the gods help you not get ill. Are you doing all this because you do drugs and need to fool the test?? If you are clean, you don't need to do all this for a test. You're just going to give yourself an infection.
I have been 100% clean without a sip of alcohol or any type of drug (except prozac and only 20mg) for 7 months. And ironically you say kidney infection, I had some major kidney stone problems and all sorts of procedures to rid myself of them that's why I DON'T drink tea. Too much oxilate. And my urologist would give me macrodantin if I got a UTI but I watch what I eat and no excess calcium, no oxilate, lots of leafy greens and stuff.

But let me be clear: I have no intent, desire, nor reason to fool any test, not too mention my tests are random, and like written above if you drink too much water they will know. Plus my pre-trial officer suggested drinking coffee before the test or a coca-cola but I don't drink soda. So that's how I do it....and my main motivation for adhering to this strategy is to get in and out, and not aggravate my pre-trial officer. Usually the whole thing takes 10 minutes max and I'm out the door.
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:50 PM
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I have been 100% clean without a sip of alcohol or any type of drug (except prozac and only 20mg) for 7 months. And ironically you say kidney infection, I had some major kidney stone problems and all sorts of procedures to rid myself of them that's why I DON'T drink tea. Too much oxilate. And my urologist would give me macrodantin if I got a UTI but I watch what I eat and no excess calcium, no oxilate, lots of leafy greens and stuff.

But let me be clear: I have no intent, desire, nor reason to fool any test, not too mention my tests are random, and like written above if you drink too much water they will know. Plus my pre-trial officer suggested drinking coffee before the test or a coca-cola but I don't drink soda. So that's how I do it....and my main motivation for adhering to this strategy is to get in and out, and not aggravate my pre-trial officer. Usually the whole thing takes 10 minutes max and I'm out the door.
Just wanted congrads on 7 months! Dealing with my man being a addict I know that's hard work!
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:54 PM
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Really my only objective is to get in and out quickly. I don't want to get there and that not be able to do the test. I can tell the officer's get a little aggravated if you make them wait. Plus at reception they ask you if you're ready and if you say yes, they expect you to be ready. So I just want to make sure I can get it done. And it is all psychological. When I'm with my regular officer who I feel comfortable with there's no problems whatsoever, if it's someone else and they're looking over my shoulder I get nervous. Now I show up wearing sweats or shorts and a t-shirt, no pockets at all so no one can say anything. And so far I'm proud to say I'm totally drug free for the first time in a long time, and I'm more proud of that fact then saying I've passed all my drug tests. Because there are some jackasses that try to beat the test, which they can't do, and that will only result in revoking their bond, pissing off the Judge, and more severe punishment. It's just not worth it. I'll drink my liquids and let it flow at test time.

Robinhoodswife: thanks for your kind words. since the day of my arrest in June I have not used drugs nor alcohol (although I never was a drinker) and i have to tell you pending charges notwithstanding my life is better now then it was before! and what's more is i haven't found it to be hard work. i know i have no choice but to be drug free unless i want to await the outcome of my legal situation in county jail instead of working productively and spending time with my loved ones. so i have great incentives!

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Old 01-19-2010, 09:20 PM
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Wow, what a conversation. This really freaks me out. No, I'm not a drug user or an offender. I'm retired military and I despise the drug test. The reason I despise it is because it violates our freedom and pronounces someone as "guilty" until proven innocent. I can't stand that because I am old school.
What totally freaks me out about this conversation is the fact people are saying you can fail a drug test because you drink water?!!!!??? WTF!!! I was tested in the military (over 15+ years ago) and was ALWAYS told to drink as much water as you can to help you go. They provided water. WOW! If drinking too much water fails a drug test, then someone needs to change the test. That's just utterly BS! I'm still shocked.. Whoa!
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:31 PM
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Wow, what a conversation. This really freaks me out. No, I'm not a drug user or an offender. I'm retired military and I despise the drug test. The reason I despise it is because it violates our freedom and pronounces someone as "guilty" until proven innocent. I can't stand that because I am old school.
What totally freaks me out about this conversation is the fact people are saying you can fail a drug test because you drink water?!!!!??? WTF!!! I was tested in the military (over 15+ years ago) and was ALWAYS told to drink as much water as you can to help you go. They provided water. WOW! If drinking too much water fails a drug test, then someone needs to change the test. That's just utterly BS! I'm still shocked.. Whoa!
Honestly I have no problems taking the test, or with the fact that it's a condition of my bond. I have everything to lose by using drugs so the test is no problem. And when I go in there, I go in happy and leave happy because I no I have nothing to fear. I don't see it as a violation of my rights, I see it as a court-ordered condition of my release. And the court could have set a higher bond, imposed electronic monitoring or otherwise, but instead I call a number, and if my color comes up I go do my thing. It's no big deal in my opinion.
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