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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 01-31-2004, 02:33 PM
xxbaddgurl83xx xxbaddgurl83xx is offline
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Default Staying faithful is getting difficult

My boyfriend Jason has been in jail for 4 months so far and he has another 3 months to go. My heart is with Jason but I notice lately that I'm starting to check out good looking guys a lot more often now. It seems like since hes been in jail more and more cute guys are approaching me and asking me if I have a man. All of a sudden its like hot guys are just coming out the wood work and its really freaking me out. I'm just completly overwhelemed. They weren't interested before but they are now. Its like I have a flashing sign on my head that says "this girl hasnt had sex in over 4 months!" I love Jason to death and I will definitly be with him when he gets out but I can't help but to love all this male attention that I'm getting lately. I also notice that I'm starting to be more friendly and flirty towards guys as well and thats scaring me also, I shouldnt be acting like I'm single because thats just going to give guys the wrong impression. I think its because I havent had that male attention for so long so now that I'm getting it I'm loving it. A guy who knows my boyfriend confronted me last week and asked me if Jason and I were still together and that hes liked me for awhile and would like to hang out with me. Since this guy knows Jason and he knows that we are together I don't think it would be a big deal to hang out with him but at the same time since he likes me I dont want to end up in a situation where I might do something stupid. This guy is so nice though but again I think its just the attention thats going to my head. This is just so hard. For you girls who have waited for years I give you mad credit because these couple months have been hard enough on me. I really need to just lock myself in a room with no windows and a few vibrators for the next 3 months lol.
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Old 01-31-2004, 02:42 PM
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I'm laughing at your comment about the vibrator and the locked room. :-). Look, you can do this. You only have three months to go. I think that subconsciously we as women send out signals or something. Because I can totally relate to your statement about guys coming out of the woodwork when you are with somebody. I never got any attention when I was single :-). But, I tell you want, if you value what you have with your honey. Then don't jeopardize it by involving yourself with someone other than your man. It's all about TRUST and you don't want there to be any thing that anyone can say about your behavior when he comes home. Good luck to you. Hang in there, you don't have much time left.
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  #3  
Old 01-31-2004, 02:52 PM
Morrigan68 Morrigan68 is offline
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Only you can make your decisions, but please, think of the consequences! You have waited this long, with nothing to feel guilty over - 3 months is nothing!!

You are probably feeling a lot of different things now without realizing it. You are probably getting nervous about Jason coming home; the male attention you're getting is flattering, and it's only natural to want that and to want to feel like you're desired - but remember, Jason desires you too! He just can't show you right now.

Don't do something you and Jason will regret. Sex is great, and naturally, we all want it, but love, trust and commitment come before that. If you have sex with this friend, it will get back to Jason somehow, someday. You'll be so proud of yourself for waiting for your man. I'd stay away from the friend.

Good luck to you,

Kelly
  #4  
Old 01-31-2004, 03:27 PM
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xxbaddgurl83xx,
LOL at tha locked room and vibrator
First off we need ta smash that NEON sign stuck over your head
hahaha
In all seriousness though its alright ta flirt naturally jus dont cross that
line...I think we all like ta be noticed so your not IMHO doin anything
wrong...but trust me on tha friend * Run...Run...Run... tha other way*
Trust is such an important thing between you and your man...and "friends"
even well meaning guy ones can make you question everything (wait we're
talkin bout you...ahhhhhhhhh I am in mess riight now) I haven't been
unfaithful but my man's best friend has definently made me question wth???
I'm doin...so as your new "girlie" friend if your man is who you see yourself
wit then hold onto that and PM anytime!!! Do what is riight for you!!! I
think tha other girls before me gave some really good advice...
Hugsssssssssssssssssss
RhiLeigh
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Old 01-31-2004, 09:10 PM
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It's not neon its pheromones: A chemical secreted by an animal, especially an insect, that influences the behavior or development of others of the same species, often functioning as an attractant of the opposite sex

Go to your room now (see you in a few months!)
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  #6  
Old 01-31-2004, 10:00 PM
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Bad gurl, look I am one of a few in here that keep it real. I was going to tell you, that if you have an itch that needs to be scratched, then so be it. I am no saint, hell, i am far from a damn saint. BUT.................. damn your boyfriend has been in for only 4 months and has only 3 more to go?!! come on girl, you can do it!!! You can wait another 90 days
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Old 01-31-2004, 10:07 PM
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I Know Exactly How You Feel Cuz I've Been In That Boat. But In My Opinion It May Be More Worth It For You To Be Faithful To Your Man. I Know Sometimes The Attention That You're Missing From Your Man May Be Hard To Deal With, But Atleast If You Give Any Of These Guys A Chance You Should Be Honest And Tell Them You Have A Man. Girl You're Lucky. Your Guy Only Has A Few Months To Go Instead Of Years...try And Be Faithful. Itll Be Way Worth It In The End.
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Old 01-31-2004, 10:08 PM
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And Oh Yeah I Totally Agree With roc City Girl To The Fullest!!!!!!
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Old 01-31-2004, 10:19 PM
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[i]See my baby has been gjone for a year and i still have another year to go and I have been faithful My veiw on it is if you lave him and you tell him that you will wait then you should not break that promise and if you cant wait then you shouldnt make him think that you cant
  #10  
Old 01-31-2004, 11:15 PM
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for me i truly love my husband so i do not think of other men in that manner now don't get it twisted i do look a fine dudes and wish my baby was here to satisfy me but i do not want anyone else i feel like if i was attracted to someone enough to have sex with them then maybe my feelings for my man are not as strong as i thought but some women just need the **** i hope you make your decision wisely and like the other woman said think of the consequences
  #11  
Old 01-31-2004, 11:18 PM
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3mths is nothing girl ... most of us here have way more then that to wait & we are hanging in there cuz we luv our men ... don't get me wrong it's tough but if u truly luv this man then 3 mths will not be an issue ...

Best of luck ...
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Old 01-31-2004, 11:29 PM
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LMAO!!! I liked the comment about the vibrator Everyone is right, 3 months isnt really that long considering some of us is and has waited alot longer than that. I have been waiting for almost a year now, believe dont think I dont go through those moments, cause I do!!!! I just keep in mind it will be well worth it when he gets out
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Old 02-01-2004, 01:00 AM
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I feel like I could do three months standing on my head lol!

Seriously, I understand what you mean about having a hard time with the wait. There's this one man that is terribly attractive to me. Would I cheat? No, not ever. I love my husband too much to even go there. It would completely break all the trust we've rebuilt over the last 9 months. We've got another year at least to go (depending on when he gets into the drug program), and if I can make it this far, I can make it the rest of the way.

My advice: count down those days & do something special for yourself to get ready for his release. Take a bubble bath one day, buy a bottle of perfume he might like, etc. You'll find you have too many things to do while you're getting ready for him to come home & you're too busy to let your mind wander. You're more than 1/2 way done...keep the faith & it'll be worth it when he gets home.
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Old 02-01-2004, 01:13 AM
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Wait girl ya can do it like they said 3 months is NOTHING..............It took 25 years to get mine to hug/kiss/I love you and if he serves all his time 41 years til the honeymoon..hahaha
lol..............love the vibrator comment........
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Old 02-01-2004, 07:51 AM
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Badgurl -
Stay true to yourself. It is probably the "male" attention that has you. It's ok to flirt but keep it all in perspective. Ask yourself...at the end of the day, if you were to sleep with another man who you have not known very long, would you feel good about yourself? Probably not. On the other hand, don't you feel good about the 4 months that you have been celibate? If so, then think about how good you will feel about yourself in 3 more months. You can wait! Stay strong!
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Old 02-01-2004, 08:50 AM
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Yes, stay away from the "friend". Before you do anything really think about it. Is a bit of affection and pleasure worth losing what you have with your guy? My guys so called "friends" have tried to get with me and I've flat out refused, to them it's like a game. (not saying that's what it is in your situation, just how I've found guys to be). Maybe it would help to try to keep yourself out of situations where you feel tempted. Since my baby has been gone I do not go to the clubs anymore. I find other things to do to keep myself occupied. You can do this, if it's really what you want to do. You will be surprised how stong you can be, if you chose to. Best wishes
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Old 02-01-2004, 09:25 AM
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I know exactly how you feel. My man has been gone for 6 months now with probably 2 years left. It's hard sometimes, I miss his affection. It's nice to get noticed and get the attention from other guys, but it's not worth it to me to do something that could jeopardize my relationship. I love him dearly and I remember how it felt when I found out my now, ex-husband, cheated. I would hate to put my guy through that. They always find out somehow. I find it easier if I just stay out of the bars and stay sober. Anyway that's what we have toys for!
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Old 02-01-2004, 10:28 AM
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I wonder how you would feel about this if the situation was reversed. Let's say you were in and Jason was out. Then how would you feel about him flirting and having urges to venture to where his hormones take him. Kind of feels funky now, doesn't it?
Think about it. People wait for years. Not because they are enjoying the lack of sex but because they feel that being true is much more important than cheap thrills and momentary orgasms.Peace
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Old 02-01-2004, 02:16 PM
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i have been with joe for almost 18 months and i have 19 more to go! there are people on here who have been in this for yeeeeeeeears! and still have tons to go! i give them credit! ( GREAT JOB LADIES! ) 3 months is NOTHING!! wait it out. i know that it is flattering with all of the attention but what is more important--some one night stand--or time with jason...more than sex-a relationship! good luck...and hey! i usually spend atleast 2-3 days a week with my 'lil "friend"-nothing wrong with that! wait it out girl and let the guys know--u have a man!!!!
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Old 02-01-2004, 02:24 PM
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If you can do 4 months then 3 months will be a piece of cake! this is only a test and I believe you can do it...messing around really isnt worth it in the end..but that is just my opinion. Stay true to you most of all.
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Old 02-01-2004, 10:05 PM
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I needed this thread. I was thinking the same thing and we have only 73 days left until he is home. I love him and after reading these I know that I can make the rest of the time. After all I made it this far.
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Old 02-01-2004, 10:25 PM
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You can make it another 3 months. It's not that long, really. If you love your man, stay faithful and honest. Yes, it's nice to get the male attention and it's very flattering, but don't do anything that will jeopardize what you have with Jason. It's not worth it, it really isn't. I think most women get all the male attention when they're taken. When we're single, it's almost like we dont' exist, but once we're taken, it seems that every male notices. 90 days isn't that long. You can do this. Just keep yourself busy. Make a list of everything you want to accomplish by the time he comes home and each day, take care of one item on that list. I've been with Justin for the last 20 months and we still have a little over 3 yrs until he gets to come home. There's women out here that have even longer than that. No it's not always easy, but nothing in life is. There's no way in hell I'd ever cheat on Justin. Never! Not even if the finest man in the world came and tried to talk to me. It's not worth it. I wish you the best of luck. Keep your head up. Jason will be home soon.
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Old 02-01-2004, 10:33 PM
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Three month is NOTHIN' !! I have been away from my Baby for two years, three months... I have been faithful, but I sure buy a lot of batteries!!! Stay strong, it'll be worth it in then end. I clear conscience is priceless.
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Old 02-01-2004, 11:31 PM
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Girl i wish i had 3 months to go but i have to wait 3 but years not months i think that everyone is right 3 months is nothing girl i wish i had to wait 3 months. good luck n stay faithfull
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Old 02-02-2004, 09:51 AM
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I too agree with Ms. Rock City you can do it I have faith in you now you just have it in yourself pray about it ask God to give you peace about the situation and you know that it is just the devil trying to tempt you.

I am sooooo glad that me and my Boo has a understanding when I need to be touched that's cool do me and keep it moving men have been doing it for years and still are but when a women decides she doesn't want the emotional attachment men tend to go crazy they want there ego stroked girl you can do it if the situation was different I would tell you to get you you and keep it moving no strings attach.
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