Your Loved One and Your Children

[goopkat]

I was faced recently with having to choose a topic for a college project that involves child development. I have decided to do a project about "The Effects of Having a Parent in Prison on a Childs Development"
My husbands is in prison and this subject is very dear to my heart and I would like to have some light brought on the subject for those who have never had to deal with the prison system.

If you could please take just a minute to answer the following questions, I would really appricite it. They are short answer, but if you would like to elaborate, please feel free to. All answers are annonymous and for statistical reasons.

I will be writing a brief research paper and will include this survey's results in my paper. I wil be glad to post it when I am done.. I am very interested to see what everyones answers will be!

Thank you sooooo much!

How old was your child when their parent was incarcerated?


Are you totally honest with your child about the circumstances involving their other parent’s absence?


Have you noticed any obvious emotional problems that you believe are a direct effect of having the other parent in prison? If yes, briefly explain.


Is the incarcerated parent as active as they can be in aiding you with the child rearing process?


Was or is the incarcerated parent involved in gang activity?


Finally, does your child ever tell you about bullying from his or her peers where the absent parents incarceration is used to ridicule your child?

[Butrfly420]

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[Luv4My3Boyz]

How old was your child when their parent was incarcerated?
Junior was 7 months old

Are you totally honest with your child about the circumstances involving their other parent’s absence?
He was too young to explain this to

Have you noticed any obvious emotional problems that you believe are a direct effect of having the other parent in prison? If yes, briefly explain.
Junior cries when ever any man comes around. Prior to his fathers incarceration, we use to go out with our friends all the time and he loved everyone. But 2 weeks after his dad left and i went to our friends house, He screamed when ever any man came around. He cried with my dad, with my older brother... everyone! He's getting a little better now...now that he's a year old and has been around my dad and older brother a little more. But he still cries when he comes around other guys!

Is the incarcerated parent as active as they can be in aiding you with the child rearing process?
Being that Junior is so young and can't really "talk" to daddy, it's hard. My bf is only doing a 5 month bid, so he wouldn't even let me bring Junior to visit since he couldn't deal with the emotions!
Was or is the incarcerated parent involved in gang activity?
no

Finally, does your child ever tell you about bullying from his or her peers where the absent parents incarceration is used to ridicule your child?
N/A

[goopkat]

Thank you for the response! It's amazing to me even very young kids can pick up on stuff huh....

Also.. just a note to say that I will follow all of PTO's rules about research papers, and to say THANK YOU for the pm's I've gotten from people with their responses. Anyone who would feel more comfortable answering in private, that is totally understandable.

Thanks again, and THANK YOU to PTO for making this possible!

[Hisoneandonly]

How old was your child when their parent was incarcerated?Oldest was 9 she is now 11 (in 2 weeks) the baby hsn't been born yet(she is 19 months)


Are you totally honest with your child about the circumstances involving their other parent’s absence?
Yes I felt it was better to be honest b/c it was all over the news and papers


Have you noticed any obvious emotional problems that you believe are a direct effect of having the other parent in prison? If yes, briefly explain.
She has acted out alot more this past year (it could be her age to) in school fighting and talking back to me and my parents. When in the precious years she has been an angel.


Is the incarcerated parent as active as they can be in aiding you with the child rearing process? He tries to be, he s more so with the baby than our oldest most of her sistuations I have to handle on my own, but until we got back together it was just me and her anyway she is really angery with her father and doesn't as she puts it "cares what he thinks he didn't care enough to stay around again".


Was or is the incarcerated parent involved in gang activity?Nope


Finally, does your child ever tell you about bullying from his or her peers where the absent parents incarceration is used to ridicule your child?SHe said a couple of girls asked her about it and one little boy said it was pretty cool (kids go figure) but if she ahs had any problems b/c of it she has never said anything to me about it.

The reaponses are for our oldest our baby is to young to understand.

[waitn4mybaby]

[quote=goopkat;5025648]I was faced recently with having to choose a topic for a college project that involves child development. I have decided to do a project about "The Effects of Having a Parent in Prison on a Childs Development"
My husbands is in prison and this subject is very dear to my heart and I would like to have some light brought on the subject for those who have never had to deal with the prison system.

If you could please take just a minute to answer the following questions, I would really appricite it. They are short answer, but if you would like to elaborate, please feel free to. All answers are annonymous and for statistical reasons.

I will be writing a brief research paper and will include this survey's results in my paper. I wil be glad to post it when I am done.. I am very interested to see what everyones answers will be!

Thank you sooooo much!

How old was your child when their parent was incarcerated? 6 years old and I was pregnant with the youngest.


Are you totally honest with your child about the circumstances involving their other parent’s absence? As honest as you can be with a 6 year old. He knows he did something wrong and he is in jail, but we still love him, even though we don't condone his doing wrong.


Have you noticed any obvious emotional problems that you believe are a direct effect of having the other parent in prison? If yes, briefly explain. It's hard to say, children seem to live in their own time and seem to live more for the moment. If you ask him a week is a long time and a year and a half is really too long for him to comprehend at his age.


Is the incarcerated parent as active as they can be in aiding you with the child rearing process? Yes, he writes letters to my son encouraging him to do good in school and he talks to him on the phone.


Was or is the incarcerated parent involved in gang activity? No.


Finally, does your child ever tell you about bullying from his or her peers where the absent parents incarceration is used to ridicule your child? No, but honestly, he would be hard to bully, he is not one to start things, but he had a fifth grader hit him and he jumped on him and beat the he!! out of that fifth grader, he was in first grade at the time and it had nothing to do with the incarceration, it was just a case of a big kid messing with the wrong little kid, so other kids don't mess with him too much, they know he'll defend himself.

[HannahGD]

How old was your child when their parent was incarcerated?
Not born yet.

Are you totally honest with your child about the circumstances involving their other parent’s absence?
He doesn't understand but I tell him his Daddy loves him and will be home soon.

Have you noticed any obvious emotional problems that you believe are a direct effect of having the other parent in prison? If yes, briefly explain.
None with the baby, but certainly emotional problems with me. I'm doing a job MEANT for 2 people (not saying 1 can't do it) and I'm going crazy.


Is the incarcerated parent as active as they can be in aiding you with the child rearing process?
Not at all. He barely writes, never comments about the pictures I send him, and never asks about his son.

Was or is the incarcerated parent involved in gang activity?
No.

Finally, does your child ever tell you about bullying from his or her peers where the absent parents incarceration is used to ridicule your child?
No, but I deal with the ridicule on a daily basis. Luckily, he doesn't have to deal with this. Hopefully he never will.

[Raysmyangel]

Originally Posted by goopkat

I was faced recently with having to choose a topic for a college project that involves child development. I have decided to do a project about "The Effects of Having a Parent in Prison on a Childs Development"
My husbands is in prison and this subject is very dear to my heart and I would like to have some light brought on the subject for those who have never had to deal with the prison system.

If you could please take just a minute to answer the following questions, I would really appricite it. They are short answer, but if you would like to elaborate, please feel free to. All answers are annonymous and for statistical reasons.

I will be writing a brief research paper and will include this survey's results in my paper. I wil be glad to post it when I am done.. I am very interested to see what everyones answers will be!

Thank you sooooo much!

How old was your child when their parent was incarcerated?


Are you totally honest with your child about the circumstances involving their other parent’s absence?


Have you noticed any obvious emotional problems that you believe are a direct effect of having the other parent in prison? If yes, briefly explain.


Is the incarcerated parent as active as they can be in aiding you with the child rearing process?


Was or is the incarcerated parent involved in gang activity?


Finally, does your child ever tell you about bullying from his or her peers where the absent parents incarceration is used to ridicule your child?

my kids were 10 8 7 and 5

we were as honest with them as possiable with them at their ages they didnt really understand to much they couldnt really grasp the amount of time he was gettung and the charges were from before we met weve been together 4yrs now so hes different than he was

as active as he can be he studies with them over the phone and listens to them read their stories and talks to them when they are miss behaving

they act out sometimes but mostly they just cry and dont understand why he cant come home my 8 now 9 yr old has gained alot of weight

no gang activity here

they dont really talk about it at school i was afriad that would happen though my 5 yr old son had a friend that used to ask him to his house a other activities but that has stoped since he talked about it to his friend

[Berto'sChula]

Good luck on that paper.

[HisBabyMomma]

[quote=goopkat;5025648]
How old was your child when their parent was incarcerated?
A year
Are you totally honest with your child about the circumstances involving their other parent’s absence?
My son knows that daddy is in prison for doing bad things

Have you noticed any obvious emotional problems that you believe are a direct effect of having the other parent in prison? If yes, briefly explain.
No. I see bad effects of his father thinking that his life is ok...and trying to teach my son his way of thinking...
My current honey is in prison, but a positive influence and I see a major difference...

Is the incarcerated parent as active as they can be in aiding you with the child rearing process?
No. His family isn't either...He calls and sends drawings and letters...but not about child rearing...

Was or is the incarcerated parent involved in gang activity?
30 something and still thinks it's "cool"

Finally, does your child ever tell you about bullying from his or her peers where the absent parents incarceration is used to ridicule your child?
My son gets sad when he hears all the kids talk about their daddy's and what they do. He tells me he just wants his daddy to come home and play football with him and tuck him into bed. He gets into fights with my nephew when he talks bad about his father.


It's heartbreaking to see our children hurt. I know on the nights that my son just cries and cries for a man he doesn't know and doesn't know is not good for him, I feel like my heart is being torn out of my chest...But as parents, we do what we need to do for our kids...Console them, love them, and just listen...Sometimes you don't need to talk...let them talk and just say I know I understand...