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  #1  
Old 06-03-2009, 02:51 PM
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Question Anyone know a scared straight program for kids?

Hello,

I hope I don't sound like a horrible mother because I am not and love my kids very much. I have 8 kids, 5 of which who still live in my home. I use to have a lot of problems with my 13 year old as she was growing up. She use to try and hurt her sister who is now 16 and was just very mean. As she got older I brought her to counceling a few times but she didn't want to be there so they said it wasn't going to help. Since I have been with my current husband (2nd marraige) she calmed down a lot. Her and my husband were close because he was patient and would talk to her. A lot of people think she is 16 years old because of how she carries herself and lets face it these kids look older now (must be something in the milk). Anyway, after my husband got locked up in Sept. she started acting different. It started off with little things but now she is really pissing me off. She isn't having sex or doing drugs but she has become VERY disrespectful to me. She use to do her chores and now she could care less. I have already taken her sidekick (cell phone) and she just got madder and now doesn't care if she has it or not. My 16 year old daughter and Me are doing everything in the home and I feel so bad for my older daughter. We have to go do laundry, food shopping, clean, etc... while my 13 year old and 10 year old son do what they want. I have disconnected the computer and told her not to touch it and she has the balls to connect it back and sit there using it. I am suffering from crohn's Disease and get very sick so it's so hard. I have lost almost 30 pounds since my husband been gone because of the illness. Stress only makes it worse. There are so many other disrespectful things that she has done that I would be here for hours. She just has a I Don't Care Attitude and I know that can only lead to the things that I mentioned she hasn't done yet.

My 10 year old son is also getting disrespectful to me and I am just so overwhelmed. My worry is that they will end up in jail or worse. My son was always a very sweet kid that cleaned his stuff and took care of his clothes and just loved by everyone. He still has his sweet side but his wants to go outside all the time will make him so disrespectful to me and everyone.

I know there might be some people who might say that this is normal for their age but I feel if you don't try and take care of it when it starts then it could get worse. I never want my kids to go to jail or worse so I'm trying to find out if there is a program where they take you into a jail out here in queens. I have watched lockup raw on tv and they had something where they took kids on tour in a prison and the hope is to scare them straight. If anyone knows of something like this I would appreciate any information. I am located in Queens, NY. Thank You in advance for your help.

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  #2  
Old 06-04-2009, 12:40 PM
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Do they have the star program there?
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  #3  
Old 06-04-2009, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canthelpbutwait View Post
Do they have the star program there?
I have no idea . I have never heard of it.
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Old 06-09-2009, 07:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.MMitchell View Post
Hello,

I hope I don't sound like a horrible mother because I am not and love my kids very much. I have 8 kids, 5 of which who still live in my home. I use to have a lot of problems with my 13 year old as she was growing up. She use to try and hurt her sister who is now 16 and was just very mean. As she got older I brought her to counceling a few times but she didn't want to be there so they said it wasn't going to help. Since I have been with my current husband (2nd marraige) she calmed down a lot. Her and my husband were close because he was patient and would talk to her. A lot of people think she is 16 years old because of how she carries herself and lets face it these kids look older now (must be something in the milk). Anyway, after my husband got locked up in Sept. she started acting different. It started off with little things but now she is really pissing me off. She isn't having sex or doing drugs but she has become VERY disrespectful to me. She use to do her chores and now she could care less. I have already taken her sidekick (cell phone) and she just got madder and now doesn't care if she has it or not. My 16 year old daughter and Me are doing everything in the home and I feel so bad for my older daughter. We have to go do laundry, food shopping, clean, etc... while my 13 year old and 10 year old son do what they want. I have disconnected the computer and told her not to touch it and she has the balls to connect it back and sit there using it. I am suffering from crohn's Disease and get very sick so it's so hard. I have lost almost 30 pounds since my husband been gone because of the illness. Stress only makes it worse. There are so many other disrespectful things that she has done that I would be here for hours. She just has a I Don't Care Attitude and I know that can only lead to the things that I mentioned she hasn't done yet.

My 10 year old son is also getting disrespectful to me and I am just so overwhelmed. My worry is that they will end up in jail or worse. My son was always a very sweet kid that cleaned his stuff and took care of his clothes and just loved by everyone. He still has his sweet side but his wants to go outside all the time will make him so disrespectful to me and everyone.

I know there might be some people who might say that this is normal for their age but I feel if you don't try and take care of it when it starts then it could get worse. I never want my kids to go to jail or worse so I'm trying to find out if there is a program where they take you into a jail out here in queens. I have watched lockup raw on tv and they had something where they took kids on tour in a prison and the hope is to scare them straight. If anyone knows of something like this I would appreciate any information. I am located in Queens, NY. Thank You in advance for your help.


hmmm have you called rikers maybe to see if they have something?
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Old 06-09-2009, 08:59 PM
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Scared straight was found not to be effective, and I really don't know of a good program, but you might call the mayor's info line. They could certainly direct you somewhere.
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Old 06-09-2009, 09:07 PM
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My son just went through..well he's going to graduate on Jun 13th. Here in MI it's called MYCA Michigan youth challange academy. They have them all around the US. Only thing is kids have to be 16-19 years old. This program is a MIRACLE!!! It's military school basically. It's by the national guard. She would attend school and the whole 9 yards. Very worth checking out. Good luck.
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  #7  
Old 06-10-2009, 06:37 PM
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Thank You so much everyone. We have definatly been going through a lot since my husband has been gone and I have been sick. I sat down with my daughter yesturday and we had a long talk. She finally opened up to me and told me she was scared. She started crying and told me she is worried I am going to die and she feels that everyone that she loves is going to leave her. She is worried that my husband is not going to be able to come home after he completes the shock program. I think because the whole time we was going back and fourth to court it was such a rollar coaster ride that it has afftected her so much. The judge wanted to dismiss the case because it was old and after my husband spoke she felt that being in prison would not do anything but hurt the family because of how much he has changed over the years. We also had a lot of letters to the judge from a lot of people. The problem was that the lawyer I paid was working with the DA and in the end he was sentenced to 3-6 years, we was all in shock. The lawyer said he wouldn't get into the shock program in lakeview but Thank God he did. My daughter thinks that because he was sentenced to 3-6 years that he will not get out on his graduation date from shock (oct. 1st). I tried to explain everything to her and let her know that I am not going anywhere and not to worry about me. It's so hard because as she was talking I realized her fears are all my fears. I really have to think about what i am going to do now. Maybe because she finally opened up to me she will do it more and there will be some changes around here.

Now I have to work on my son. Thank you carebear72 for the information, it is definatly good to know. It also sounds like a good program.



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  #8  
Old 06-24-2009, 10:03 PM
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Several facilities have the Youth Assistance Program (YAP) which is an educate straight program, not a scared straight program. It's a very good program.
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  #9  
Old 01-20-2012, 12:51 PM
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Have you looked into The Total Transformation Program? It's not a "scared straight" program but rather gives the parent the tools to handle the defiant, out of control child. Something worth looking into.
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Old 03-16-2012, 04:24 PM
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I bought the Total Transformation program. I didn't think it was worth the money. Much of it was common sense and lots of it was not helpful.
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Old 08-08-2012, 04:45 PM
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This might sound brutal but coming from a troubled kid. Get in her face and scream at her until she knows who boss and if that won't work, pretend to give up on her and show her that without you and your daughters help her life would be upside down. My parents were extremely conservative and set in stone in their ways and up until about 3 years ago (I'm 19 btw) I thought I knew all. My dad also used the belt and that will sure prevent you from doing things your not supposed to. Kids are to pampered now a days. If I could take an ass beating like I did and come out of it understanding why it was done then I think its completely justifiable. I know your taking the risk of having your kid scream bloody murder to everyone that will listen but thats the risk you've gotta take or your going to see your daughter turn into a rebel slut (no offense) that hangs around the scum bags of school skipping class and getting high whenever possible. I know because it was me and I defied everything my parents stood for and now I'm paying for it. Show your daughter this message because coming from someone who is close to the same age and can relate will sit here and tell you everything your worried of happening from first hand experience. I'm much wiser than I once was and don't have the chip on my shoulder I use to and part of that was learning things on my own. She'll say the wrong thing to the wrong person one day and she'll regret it the rest of her life. Hopefully its not something truamatic but at the same time it kind of needs to be or she'll never learn. Like getting your finger caught in a mouse trap.
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  #12  
Old 09-09-2013, 07:57 PM
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Hello parent, My name is Minister Jones and I was just looking for the same program for my 11yr old Grand Daughter. She is very sassy and has a very nasty attitude towards me. I deal with her psychologically and I get things done. I am happy that you have found out what was making her tick. Your son on the other hand, you must sit him down and have a one on one with him to find out what is on his mind and why. The way you do that is to tell him not to be afraid to open up for you and that you are his friend but you are also his mother. He needs his mother. Children learn a lot when growing up. we sometimes do not know how to deal with our children but all along the solution lies right there in front of us. I did not know how to handle my grand daughter either till I sat her down and explained to her that sometimes in life we go through things in order for our minds to find the peace that we need through our situation. When I sat her down and asked her several times why was she treating me the way she was? She told two lies before telling me the honest truth. I told her, now tell me the real reason why you act this way. I said that to her with all the lies she told and then on the third statement she made, she said she get really sad when she see all the other children at the school being dropped off by their parents. I told her that she should not take that out on me because I love her with all my heart and that her parents at the time she was born could not take care of her. Her dad which is my son, was in and out of jail and her mom was out on the streets. I have this child since birth. I gave up a high paying job only to take her and raise her and at the age of 4 she began to have these withdrawal syndromes and I never knew why until the other day. My grand children are my pride and joy but I refuse to let the streets take them. I began to use psychology on all my grands and it really works. I took psychology twice in college and I am still in college learning everyday. Mr. Mitchell, I admire your bravery and your patience. For your health, I am seriously praying for you. If you would like to talk to me further on any of this please feel free to phone number removed per policy. Your health is the most important thing in yours and your children's lives. Please just contact me and I will give you a testimony on my health as well. I am a Disabled Veteran and believe me it is not easy dealing with health issues but how I manage my health is miraculous. Contact me for more on that part. Be blessed and be a blessing to others. My prayers are with you always!!

Last edited by sass4221; 09-10-2013 at 10:33 AM..
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  #13  
Old 09-09-2013, 08:00 PM
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Default Military school for troubled children

WOW!!! Awesome, just awesome. That is what I need for my grand daughter too, but she is only 11.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:50 AM
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I would consider looking into mentor programs or big sister,something to work for and someone to give a positive input.
Parenting is stressful,even under ideal circumstances.
In this area I believe we have women who send time with young ladies,mentoring them in business.
Perhaps a program of some sort would help.
Some kids like the structure of ROTC,etc...
Find someone to help and some outside positive structure.
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