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  #1  
Old 05-24-2009, 05:51 PM
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Default What to expect. Were you being realistic when you started your MWI?

were you being realistic when you started you mwi and after all been said and done, do you still feel that you made a good choice and even if you did'nt your in too deep now TO WALK AWAY?
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Old 05-24-2009, 06:02 PM
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I dont think it wasnt so much I wasnt realistic, but I wasnt prepared for what the effects of long term prison has on a person. I walked away not feeling any regret. Anyone who knew about us would have never in a million years expected things to turn out the way they did. I have never questioned the love we had for each other. I just couldnt handle in the end the behaviors being in prison taught him. I honestly believe he loved me with all his heart in the only way he knew how to love
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Old 05-24-2009, 06:11 PM
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Was I being realisstic? I don't know if I can answer that. I didn't think initially that we would be more than friends but it developed naturally.
I know I've made a great choice because well, he is great and we compliment each other in an amazing way and are truly good for one and other. If that ever changed and we became toxic to each other, I would not hesitate to walk away and I believe he would do the same. I am not the type to stick around because of a sense of duty, I have one responsibility to him and thats honesty, if the honest truth is that we shouldn't be together - he will be the first to know.
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Old 05-24-2009, 07:17 PM
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Originally Posted by tee.dot.q View Post
Was I being realisstic? I don't know if I can answer that. I didn't think initially that we would be more than friends but it developed naturally.
I know I've made a great choice because well, he is great and we compliment each other in an amazing way and are truly good for one and other. If that ever changed and we became toxic to each other, I would not hesitate to walk away and I believe he would do the same. I am not the type to stick around because of a sense of duty, I have one responsibility to him and thats honesty, if the honest truth is that we shouldn't be together - he will be the first to know.
i love you and the way you think throughly your answers
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Old 05-24-2009, 07:27 PM
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I made a great choice. I'm not the kind to think I'm in it too deep to walk away. Believe me, when things aren't working out, I make sure I get out somehow. I don't stick around unless I'm happy. And I'm happy. He has done beautiful things for me. He has been incredibly healing to me.
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Old 05-24-2009, 08:06 PM
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were you being realistic when you started you mwi and after all been said and done, do you still feel that you made a good choice and even if you didn't your in too deep now TO WALK AWAY?
Was I being realistic?
I was all of 20 years old. I had no idea. This BS never started out as Marty and Angel. I got on his running partners list so Marty's sister could meet him. It was just a plus that Marty and I hit it off...I didn't know he already had designs on me. I must say though, an 80 year old could never, ever be prepared or even imagine the things this life holds...just on a daily basis.

I don't know that all has been said and done, even after all this time. And, I still am not so sure I had anything to do with any of this mess.

Too deep to walk away?
Even with the tattoos, the kids 'attached' to him...even with all the history and memories...I have been tested enough to know I'm never in too deep to walk away.

I am dedicated, loyal and fearsomely protective....only....as long as he is.
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Old 05-24-2009, 08:23 PM
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I thought I was. I read everything I could find about adjusting after long prison terms. Because I knew him as a friend first, and he was so honest with me then, I trusted him. I really don't think it would have worked out even if he had been able to come home with me directly. I don't know if he just didn't know himself very well, or what. I brought up many potential problems to discuss in advance and he never wanted to talk about them in details. It's hard to predict how you'll react anyhow. He'd tell me to stop worrying.

My husband has a huge ego, but it is based on his looks rather than positive accomplishments. Once we were married, I felt I had to see it through.

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Old 05-25-2009, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pisces317 View Post
were you being realistic when you started you mwi and after all been said and done, do you still feel that you made a good choice and even if you did'nt your in too deep now TO WALK AWAY?
I am unwilling to walk away now. My guy hasn't done anything wrong.

That statement probably makes me blind and unrealistic too but I know some PTO sistah will set me straight if hard times should ever come to my relationship.
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Old 05-25-2009, 03:19 PM
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were you being realistic when you started you mwi and after all been said and done, do you still feel that you made a good choice and even if you did'nt your in too deep now TO WALK AWAY?
Quite honestly - NO!!!

Way back when I was first MWI (1993) I looked at it through rose colored lenses. I was in love and that was it. I didn't really think about the future or what it would realistically be like when he came home. We were married while he was still inside.

Reality came as a shock and it took a LOT of strength to not walk away after the first year, but I'm thankful I stuck, even though....he's now a lifer.

Last edited by Terry; 05-25-2009 at 03:22 PM..
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Old 05-25-2009, 03:26 PM
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Not even in the same zip code as realistic. I had no idea what to expect after release. It ended miserably, but I honestly have no regrets. Every experience in life is teaching me something. It happens that experiences make me a little wiser. Sometimes not so much, but hey, I choose to focus on the positive :P In the mids of the madness, we made some pretty good memories also, so I can look back, and I still laugh thinking about those times.
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Old 05-25-2009, 03:50 PM
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First of all, I didn't know I was starting anything!!! I just wanted to drop a few letters in a mailbox to show support for someone. I was blindsided by this "prisoner" I wrote. I was naive to the possibilities...as...hark!...I would never romance a...um...prisoner... Now look at me. Great.
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Old 05-25-2009, 11:09 PM
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I entered my friendship, expecting the worse, i didn't let my guards down at all, with his honesty, sincerity, and good communication, he has been earning my trust,and vice versa i was very ignorant, and critical of men that were locked up, but i'm surprised that our friendship has been very fulfilling, and i'm never "in" too deep, to walk away if he gives me a reason, i'm gone. i will never allow any man to mistreat me, no matter how much i love him, i love me more.
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Old 05-25-2009, 11:40 PM
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I must say, I wrote him out of curiosity. We wrote letters almost every other day and became good friends because of it. After being friends he decided we were destined for each other.
I am a widow of a man who was killed in jail. A relationship with a prisoner was the furthest thing from my mind.
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Old 05-26-2009, 12:05 AM
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I knew it wouldnt be easy but I knew he was my forever and soulmate. So, being in to deep to walk away wasnt even a thought.
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Old 05-26-2009, 06:52 AM
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did i have a clue??? no. between my issues and his issues,well there have been alot of ups and downs. but we both love each other dearly and as time goes by, things have gotten far calmer and smoother. we've both grown up alot in the past 3 and a half years. are we where we need to be?? not yet,but thank God we aren't where we used to be.... i must say marc has the patience of job and is willing to be there for me thru ANYTHING and knowing that makes me feel very safe in our relationship.
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Old 05-26-2009, 07:14 AM
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Realistic? I wasn't looking for a relationship, and especially one with a man in prison. He wrote me because my ex's brother told him I was different. I ignored quite a few letters, but ended up writing back. Here we are, engaged, his family adores me, my kids adore him and yes, I believe I made a good choice!
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Old 05-27-2009, 01:46 AM
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When Ray and I first met, MY plan was to only be friends. Well, we all know how that turned out!

No, I wasn't realistic back then, I'd never been in a relationship with anyone who ever did more than a weekend in jail! At first it was ok, probably because I was so "naive" about prison stuff. Once reality hit, about a year down the road, I had to take a break! I did, I wasn't sure if I could handle this reality!

To make a long story short, I made what I don't consider a "good choice" I made the ONLY choice that would work for me. I don't regret the choice I made, not for an instant!
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Old 05-27-2009, 01:48 AM
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Not even in the same zip code as realistic.

ROFL, I love this, as far as that goes, I am not sure I was in the same universe as realitistc!
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Old 05-27-2009, 02:08 AM
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Was I being realistic? Yes. I know I talk about the way I was drawn to his ad instantly, but I wish I could find some better way to word it...all I knew was that I wanted to talk to him. Didn't know we'd end up in this relationship together. BUT - I will not lie - I DID know it might happen. I knew he has been locked up for years and still has a few to go. I heard plenty of stories about how lonely and isolated prison life feels, and how being surrounded by men and the FUBAR world known as incarceration can make a man crave female companionship even more intensely than when he was on the street.
I also knew my man is his own person, and incarceration doesn't mean desperation. For all I knew he had a slew of women to write to and I'd be just another pen-pal. So I wrote to him with an open mind.
When he asked me to be his girl? Yeah, I feel that I was being realistic when I agreed. I know it won't always be easy - more often than not, it won't be easy - but he and I will find some way to make it through whatever comes our way. He's my soul mate, and I find such joy in just being close to him that I know, without a doubt, that I made a good choice.
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Old 05-27-2009, 11:31 AM
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Yes I believe I was realistic I went through great soul searching before I stepped into this relationship. I knew it wasnt going to be easy but I love a challenge.
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Old 05-27-2009, 12:44 PM
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Never in a million years did i expect to be in a MWI.... it kind of just happened.... I didn't expect much just thought we would be friends...... it's been almost 3 yrs and I'm still happy with my choice.....
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Old 05-27-2009, 12:49 PM
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Definitely. I'm nuttin' if not realistic. I'm also perceptive. I also fell in love but didn't let that cloud my thoughts where important things were concerned. I was right. I"m not always right but in this case I was.

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Old 05-27-2009, 03:54 PM
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Even though I started this realisticly years later I allowed myself to fall for a fantasy so he ended up pushing me away leaving me no choice but to walk away..... I had to live the alternative and I hated it, two years of being with another and doing nothing but wanting Santino lead me to pushing my way back into his life, mind and heart... forever..... im never walking away again.
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