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  #1  
Old 03-22-2018, 10:00 PM
byrdlady545 byrdlady545 is offline
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Default Need to vent, housing challenge

So my uncle and his gf has been staying with me since September my husband went in July ... but I had a baby in nov and have two other kids 9 and 5 my uncle and his girl help take care of my kids ... but I have a long drive my kids go to school in another city about 40 miles away which is 80 miles a day just to take them to and from school so my lease is up at my place so I talk to my uncle about moving to the other city he said cool and asked if he can stay with me until my husband comes home I said sure ... so I found a new apartment that I’m moving in the 30th which is like 300 more then I pay now but my uncle was suppose to pay me 400 a month and watch my new baby .,. And today he tells me he got his own apartment 😡 so now I’m freaking out idk how I’m gonna pay for day care and rent and all my bills I’ve been crying for hours I just want my husband home oh yea I have a week to find a baby sitter or day care ... atleast i get to visit my husband in the morning and he can help me figure out what to do
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Old 03-23-2018, 06:30 AM
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I'm sorry for what you are facing. Be sure to find out if you are receiving the maximum amount of government help.
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Old 03-23-2018, 07:36 AM
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Wow that sucks I don't have kids and its a challenge finding affordable housing with a dog. But with three kids I don't know how I'd be able to manage. Like above poster I'd see the max government help I could get. What your uncle did sucks.
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Old 03-23-2018, 08:06 AM
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Is there anyway you could either rent a lower rent apartment or advertise for a roommate? You probably signed a lease but maybe they’d understand and let you out since your circumstances changed. Did he also sign the lease? He may be financially obligated even if he doesn’t move in.
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Old 03-23-2018, 06:01 PM
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I unfortunately don't qualify for government assistance what so ever I tried when my husband first went in and was told I make to much which idk how im broke 24/7 but yea this apartment is 1000 a month I already signed a lease and my uncle didn't sign only I did and he was suppose to watch my daughter whose a new born I went looking for day cares today everything was 200 per week so that's 800 a month plus my thousand dollar rent 400 car payment 200 car insurance phone bill food gas money for my husband clothes and shoes for the kids im literally getting ready to drown I can feel it =(
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Old 03-23-2018, 06:03 PM
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thinking about giving my car back and getting something with no payments that would save me 600 a month
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Old 03-23-2018, 06:55 PM
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thinking about giving my car back and getting something with no payments that would save me 600 a month
That might be a good idea unless it will cost more in repairs. Consider that. Can’t you find a cheaper apt? If it’s just your kids even a studio could work. Not a great option but you wouldn’t risk being homeless.
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Old 03-23-2018, 09:26 PM
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Surrendering the car will probably mess up your ability to borrow money in the future. It could lower your credit score.
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Old 03-23-2018, 09:45 PM
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I absolutely understand this feeling, I think we can all understand. Not sure if this could work but is there a grace period of some sort with the lease, especially if life circumstances change. I would talk to the landlord there or whoever is in charge and be honest with them. Because you can only do what you can only do, and stuff happens, and if it means losing your deposit, then so be it, it's better than losing your mind or losing anything else. I was in a somewhat of a similar situation a while ago, (before meeting my bf), I wrote the landlord a letter of hardship, letting them know I couldn't continue my lease due to significant change in my income due to job loss and the job I gained didn't pay near enough (not even enough to cover bread and milk), and I neither qualified for any government assistance, (not even food stamps, I earned $20 more). Landlord basically said stiff shit. My daughters best friends family in the same complex was looking for a two bedroom and were waiting for the complex to let them know when one was coming up, so I asked the landlord if it were ok for them to take over my lease so then they are guaranteed a move in, and said to keep my deposit because I seriously can not afford the rent, they said no. So I had no choice but to up and leave, and I even told them in writing that because they were not willing to help me, or allow me to find a solution for someone to take over the lease even, or come to some sort of compromise I have no choice but to just move, and bill me whatever I owe and I will pay it in good time. As far as I am concerned I did everything I could to do the right thing because I simply couldn't afford my rent there, not like I did before moving in and we can't help the life circumstances that happen to us, and we have to do what is necessary for us to survive and if it means breaking a lease, then so be it.

Do you qualify for things like WIC, or certain government programs for daycare/babysitting services? .... I know I didn't but something you could look into if you haven't done so already. I heard some state government programs run something for day care assistance, but I honestly have no idea how it works and I guess if you don't don't qualify for government programs like myself then probably wouldn't work. Does places like Headstart run anything for infants also? .... either way I wish you all the best chicki, and hopefully your hubby can maybe come up with some ideas too.
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Old 03-23-2018, 10:53 PM
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If you can't afford the rent on your own, you're a liability to that landlord. They would probably prefer you be upfront with them and break the lease now while they might have an easier time finding a new tenant than after you've moved in and all that clean-out requires. You're also saving yourself moving costs.

Arizona requires that a landlord try to mitigate the loss of income by finding a new tenant as expediently as possible. You have signed the lease and you are responsible for whatever rent is lost while they seek a new tenant. But it's better (for you both) to be out your deposit and one month's rent than get in so far over your head that you crash and burn.
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Old 03-23-2018, 11:17 PM
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Thank you guys for your ideas .... I haven’t mentioned to my husband what’s going on I don’t don’t want to stress him out even more then he already is although he already knows something is wrong he kept asking me at visit today if everything’s was ok... yea I don’t get food stamps or achess but I do get wic which is a huge help ... I called the apt today to see if I could down grade to a 1bd room they said no so I’m thinking of driving for left or Uber for extra cash ... or maybe a weekend job idk I hate being away from my kids so much I already work 10hrs a day
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Old 03-24-2018, 12:47 AM
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Girl, I wish I had the magic solution for ya. This situation sucks. Is there a possibility you can find a roommate? You are in my thoughts.
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Old 03-24-2018, 07:48 AM
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Thank you ... I am going to try to get a room mate now that I m not as upset I’m going to try and think about everything and come up with a solution
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Old 03-25-2018, 04:04 AM
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Quote:
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Thank you ... I am going to try to get a room mate now that I m not as upset I’m going to try and think about everything and come up with a solution
Wishing you luck with your roommate search; let us know how it goes
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Old 03-25-2018, 12:35 PM
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Try to find someone who would do a roommate/nanny situation. Idealy someone you know personally.
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Old 03-25-2018, 07:26 PM
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Try to find someone who would do a roommate/nanny situation. Idealy someone you know personally.
Honestly if it was me I'd go thru an agency, sometimes the people you know are the worse of choices.
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Old 03-25-2018, 07:47 PM
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I don't know how big the apartment is, or the area you're in, but you may want to check and see if you can air bnb the extra bedroom to offset the rent that you're not going to get from you're Uncle.

You definitely don't want to Uber. You'll put a lot of wear and tear on your car and it is really exhausting. You'll also wind up needing more child care for your baby.

Another option is to try to find someone who perhaps you can get as a live in nanny. In other words, someone looking for a place to live, but that can also be your nanny. That way you wouldn't need daycare and you can barter the babysitting for rent. Obviously, with a newborn, you would need to check references and such.

It is a pretty crappy thin your uncle did to you, but if you can't find a solution then your best bet may be to just blow off the new apartment and lose your security deposit. Don't move in and wind up being house poor. You'll dig yourself a hole and never get out of it. I would also mention to the Uncle the agreement you had about him wanting to live with you in exchange for watching your baby. That is not fair what he did to you.
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Old 03-25-2018, 09:42 PM
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Can you change the kids school to the area you live in and stay where you are? Then maybe the uncle would stay with you.
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Old 03-25-2018, 11:07 PM
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Quote:
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Honestly if it was me I'd go thru an agency, sometimes the people you know are the worse of choices.
I agree. Also, think before you choose the air bnb option. For a single woman with children that’s pretty dangerous because you don’t have control over who rents and generally you have to give them a key. Also you run the risk of them stealing from you as well. I wouldn’t feel comfortable at all doing that.
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Old 03-26-2018, 06:42 AM
byrdlady545 byrdlady545 is offline
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after thinking im going to drive for ride share uber/lyft on the weekend to make some extra cash I don't really want anyone living with me since I have 3 kids and my son is 9 he needs his own room so I will try rideshare and to budget really good
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Old 03-26-2018, 07:13 AM
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I would be telling hubby about all this.
And I would be telling him that he wont be getting any money from you, when you dont have it to give to him.
Im sure he will understand.

Tough spot to be in.
I hope it works out for you guys.
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Old 03-26-2018, 04:32 PM
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So sorry you are going through this, what city are you in? do you have any other family members?
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Old 03-29-2018, 11:36 PM
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You mentioned you tried for assistance in July when your husband went in, but you've had another kid since then. Having 3 kids instead of two could push you below the poverty bracket to qualify you for help- that and higher rent. Try applying again. And definitely try getting out of your lease and finding something way cheaper.
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Old 03-30-2018, 06:51 AM
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I was pregnant even I applied but I’ll def reapply it doesn’t hurt especially since you can do everything online
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