Need advice... What would ya'll think?

eyez697 · #1 12-08-2003, 07:19 PM

Hey girls..... I haven't been here in a while.... I'll explain.

My Fiancee is mad at me ... in a why I know why and in a way I think he needs to get over it. I haven't wrote him for a couple of months. My daughter was in the hospital and right after she got sick again. I have been going to school (full time) and work (also full time) I work 16 hours a day. I just lost my job because a girl was threatening to beat the crap out of me and I got tired of it. I stood up for myself and they fired me after I told them what she was doing and they never did anything. So I have been looking for a job. I had a speeding ticket..... I couldn't pay my ticket so it turned into a warrant..... These are just a few of the things that have been going through my life. I understand why he was upset but I just don't understand why he didn't write a letter of concern instead of writing an ugly letter. Do ya'll see what I'm saying or should I feel bad? Please be honest with me. Thank you for taking the time out for this letter.

strongernow · #2 12-08-2003, 07:24 PM

Sometimes our men tend to be overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness, helplessness, emptiness, frustrations.....

That letter probably was his way of expressing his concern. Maybe he felt a little bit abandonned, and can you really be mad at him since he has NO IDEA that any of this is even going on since you haven't wrote to him to tell him?

i would write him back a letter telling him everything that has been going on, apologize for the time lapse in your contact and let him know that you still love and care about him but you were just caught up with everything on your shoulders.

hang tough, it will get better

((((hugs))))

Missing Ray · #3 12-08-2003, 07:33 PM

yup.. I think she just summed it all up. I think a nice long letter of explanation and reassurance will do some good..

T

justjane · #4 12-08-2003, 07:53 PM

Well said PJ. I hope everything is looking better for you Amy. It sounds like you were really having a rough time.

girasol · #5 12-08-2003, 07:57 PM

A couple of months of not writing deserves an apology. I understand how hard things are for you right now,but it sounds like you two only communicate through your letters, so he was probably totally tripping, anxious and scared. I get told about my short letters every once in a while so I know what you mean.

strongernow · #6 12-08-2003, 08:05 PM

I totally agree, girasol!

i know that things (life in general) can be extremely hard on a daily basis for us out here while our men are away, but I think the thing we need to remember is that we all say we love them and support them.... so we have to remember that part of doing that, is understanding that even though they made a mistake to get them where they are, the emotional and mental stress, anxiety, etc. these men deal with everyday is unbelievable. Sure, that is part of the punishment, but I think as their partners we owe it to them to help them get through it.

CathyFL · #7 12-08-2003, 08:10 PM

I know sometimes my son will take his anger out on me because of the system and how it works. I try to tell him he cant do that and he always calls days later to oplogize.

babyblue10 · #8 12-08-2003, 08:45 PM

I agree. If I went months without writing I would get one more letter. And the girls are right sometimes when our men seem angry thats there way of showing concern. Just talk it over with him and explain whats been going on. I know things get rough but they'll get better eventually.

LOVINJOSE · #9 12-08-2003, 09:06 PM

I know how you feel. Last mounth was the worst for me , my daughter was also in the hospital. I was in the middle of getting a better job (transfering) and also having car problems and then my best friend in the whole world well her step dad bet her up real bad so I was by her side, and I had finals (which I got A's)yaaa! Well all this took time away from him I did not write at all, my mind was lost, I had so much to write and tell him but couldnt, well instead of writing I went and seen him, I needed his shoulder to cry on, he was there. So if you can try to go see him. My man never has sent me a nasty letter. He understood why I had not written him and he was more worried then upset but he also knows that I had finals and my life gets bizy. You need to talk to your man and if he dont understand that things happin then that is an issue that you need to think about. Life dont stop because there in there.Stay stronge and he does not need to be writing nasty letters,i am sure you do enough for him so he needs to have some respect.

eyez697 · #10 12-08-2003, 11:39 PM

I just wanted to say thank you for all the comments made here. Maybe I was a little hard on hi. Time will tell.........