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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Are you faithfull? Dont answer if you cant be honest
YES!!!!! 2,571 87.15%
no. 394 13.36%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 2950. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 06-18-2008, 01:12 PM
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Default Please be honest, are you faithful?

SO I went out on Monday night and had drinks with friends that happen to be a couple (which these days is actually kind of torture, a little bitter?--Uh yhea! Any ways) Going out is always an issue. Soo much of one this time,- and NO I am not a big partier (anymore.)-that I am COMPELLED to write about it. I am faithfull 1000% of me belongs to RICO--I am completely aware of the issues our men have about that because I live it. My loyalty and the question of me being faithful is constant.
I dont even get offended or mad at the question anymore- I guess I just feel extremely bad for him now...

I love MY Rico and I would never do anything that would hurt us.

This is why I am Posting this poll.
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  #2  
Old 06-18-2008, 01:33 PM
NittysWife NittysWife is offline
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I go out as much as I can with everything else thats going on in my life. He doesn't think twice about it. He questions me about everyday things like if I tell him I bumped into an old friend or something like that. I have no time for cheating, me personally, I would have to tell him because I couldn't hold that type of thing in. I'm used to the questions now. When he does ask I just get quiet on the phone and he'll be like, I'm sorry I know your not doing anything wrong.

Men.........we luv them dont we?
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Old 06-18-2008, 01:38 PM
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Colley doesnt care if i go out or not he doesnt like it but he would rather me have fun than sit at home doing nothing
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Old 06-18-2008, 01:55 PM
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Yes, I am faithful. I go out to a club once about every 2 months. I live in a resort town and I'm well known by all the locals I know a couple of guys who would really like to step into my man's shoes and have a relationship with me but they know that isn't going to happen so they are content to just exchange pleasantries
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Old 06-18-2008, 02:16 PM
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I am very faithful!!!!
However ME and MY BOO (who is doing 15 years) version of Faithful is about me being there and I been here for 6 years!
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Old 06-18-2008, 02:18 PM
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So am I just rolling over on the question about my loyalty? Should I be mad or offended that he questions it constantly? Also before we got together he was really bad to his girlfriends....NOT to me though. i just dont get it. I am extremely saddened by his hurt and the torture he goes through wondering is this is going to be the time I wander off.
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Old 06-18-2008, 02:30 PM
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No I think that at some point most do question it because they know it's human nature to want affection not just sex but affection and passion so I think it's normal
My guy just told me that after 5 years he finally believes me 100% and that's a good thing but at the same time it did take that long, I think sometimes it's they have a trust issue and other times it has to do with history.
But hang in there he knows in his heart your there for him trust me!
Physically and emotionally
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Old 06-18-2008, 02:50 PM
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i never have been a party girl. i just go to work , go to the gym, go to church, go home, go see my hubby.
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Old 06-18-2008, 03:41 PM
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Interesting topic, I wonder if you will actually get the truth.

My husband and I are true to our set of circumstances and are "faithful" to our set of rules.
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Old 06-18-2008, 03:55 PM
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my man is the EXACT SAME WAY. constant reasurrance. if i was in prison, i would need 3x the reasurrance than he needs. think about it, when it comes to relationships and prison, anything can happen... they hear stories, you hear stories... and there would be absolutley no way for them to find out that you were cheating on them (unless you don't care about getting caught and broadcast it lol)... i don't even get sick of it anymore, i just say "no idiot, i would never cheat on you... if i put money on your books and can't buy MYSELF something... what makes you think i would cheat on you, put money on your books, and spend whatever's left on another guy? duh!" lol
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Old 06-18-2008, 04:24 PM
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Red face too faithful!! lol

Okay...yes I am just way too faithful to my man...but there may not be such a thing as too much faith anyways right?? And my boo knows that I am and he never questions it...he knows Im a "good girl"

Before we were together I was party girl live but things totally changed after that! I dont find myself needing the attention of any other guy AT ALL! Plus I am pregnant right now and kept very busy with my beautiful son, work and school...but even if granted more time in a day, it wouldnt be with anyone other than my SWEETHEART!!
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Old 06-18-2008, 04:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kris1018 View Post
my man is the EXACT SAME WAY. constant reasurrance. if i was in prison, i would need 3x the reasurrance than he needs. think about it, when it comes to relationships and prison, anything can happen... they hear stories, you hear stories... and there would be absolutley no way for them to find out that you were cheating on them (unless you don't care about getting caught and broadcast it lol)... i don't even get sick of it anymore, i just say "no idiot, i would never cheat on you... if i put money on your books and can't buy MYSELF something... what makes you think i would cheat on you, put money on your books, and spend whatever's left on another guy? duh!" lol

THATS REAL!! I totally agree with you on that last part!!! Money dont grow on trees now! I can barely afford myself and kids!!!!
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Old 06-18-2008, 04:41 PM
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I Feel Like Whats The Point Of Doing The Bid With Your Man If You Gon Be Laying Up With Someone Else? I Used To Be A Partier Like Some Of You, But Once We Got Together, We Locked Eachother Down. He Has His Doubts, And People Do Talk Sh*t, But Just The Way He Reassures Me That Everything Will Be Ok, I Do The Same For Him. I Try To Be As Honest With Him As I Can.
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Old 06-18-2008, 04:53 PM
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Honestly~ I would NEVER cheat on my husband but I did have to learn the hard way. I cheated once before on someone else of course & ended up having a baby.
It would be just my luck if I were to cheat I'd come up pregnant again...protection or not.
I'm in this marriage for life and we have the loyalty we need for this marriage to be all we both need. He gives me everything I need...sex ain't all that so I can wait on that.
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Old 06-18-2008, 05:07 PM
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ok so this is hard to write seeing that everyone else who has commented is totally faithful but you asked for honesty so here it is.
I love my boyfriend with all my heart and i want to spend the rest of my life with him but when we got together we talked about the fact that people have needs...he said it would be ok if i had sex every now and again as long as i was honest with him about it. So i guess to me it doesnt feel like i cheat on him..in a year i have had sex 3 times and everytime i was honest with him about it and he knows that it wasnt about wanting to be with the other person at all....im not saying it doesnt make it hard for him to hear about it or that i dont feel guilty about it but we love each other and this is the way it works for us.. So in my mind i am being faithful at least to our definition anyways....i dont do it very often and i dont get attached to anyone else but my man, there is nobody in this world that could take his place and i hope everyone who reads this doesnt think less of me..im just keeping it real and showing the other side of the coin....thanks for listening
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Old 06-18-2008, 05:30 PM
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Personally I would never cheat on my baby, however, it has taken him some time to really believe that I think. I am just not the type of person that can do that. I'd get way too confused if there were more than one man in my life. I tell Jason about everything that I do, the guys that I talk to, those that hit on me, etc, and he now realizes that is my way of letting him know about my life out here. When we first got together he questioned me a lot, and I know that if I were in his situation I would be doing the same, so I never became defensive and over time he has mostly gotten over the insecurities he had.

I think each couple has to decided what works for them. For us it is total honesy and faithfulness b/c we can do that; it's not hard for either of us to be honest or faithful. I agree with Morgan17's idea though...you have to be faithful to the definitions that you both decide upon for your relationship. Just b/c it's right for one couple doesn't mean it's gonna work for the next.
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Old 06-18-2008, 05:46 PM
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I am faithful. He ask's a lot but it's for reassurance that i'm all his
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Old 06-18-2008, 05:48 PM
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I play by our rules. he has been gone for 11 years and he has one half to go and he knows what I do and their has never been a trust issue on my part.
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Old 06-18-2008, 08:03 PM
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Yes, I am 100% faithful to my husband. I love and respect him too much to have it any other way. When I signed up for this bid FAITHFULNESS was my number one consideration. If I felt that I could not be faithful, we would have just been friends...
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Old 06-18-2008, 08:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcurry1nonly View Post
So am I just rolling over on the question about my loyalty? Should I be mad or offended that he questions it constantly? Also before we got together he was really bad to his girlfriends....NOT to me though. i just dont get it. I am extremely saddened by his hurt and the torture he goes through wondering is this is going to be the time I wander off.
I don't think you should be mad or offended at all. I think a number of things apply here. 1) You're only human and he knows that. Anyone is capable of cheating; it's a question of lov, will power and morals in the end.

2) He knows you're a good catch. If he's anything like my guy he can't help feeling insecure at times and thinking "she's too good to be true." Sometimes Joe will randomly retreat back into his shell and try to push me away because he's afraid I'm going to hurt him like every other woman in his life has. He'd rather numb the pain by pushing me away. At any rate, if your guy is anything like mine, he probably can't help but think that any day now you're going to meet a man "better" for you than he thinks he is, and you're going to realize it and run off with him.

3) He's in prison...it can't be the most inspiring or encouraging of places. It would be easy to get lost in depressing thoughts, I should think. Plus, it's likely other inmates say things or he hears about so-and-so whose girl left him, etc, etc, etc. It's a breeding ground for doubt, so that could be where a lot of it comes from.

I say just keep being awesome like you obviously are and reassure him. Eventually it will finally click that he's got you and you're not going anywhere.
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Old 06-18-2008, 08:52 PM
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In the beginning, Jerome asked me questions a couple of times, and I got extremely pissed off.. He tried to explain that he was in there with nothing to do but think, but I was not having it... I have proven myself to that man IMO... We've been through a lot, and if I were going to leave, I would have left waaay before this. Plus, I'm a christian, and the Bible is clear about fornication/adultery... I told him that was for other people to waste time worrying about.... After that, he brought it up a couple times that were few and far between, and each time I just reassured him. The last time was in March or April I think, and I was like, "Ok, JEROME! If I were going to do it, I would be GONE! I don't have to answer the phone or read letters.. it would be easy to ignore you and do my own thing, but I haven't, and I'm not going to give up now."

Don't get mad. It sounds like you are taking the right approach... constant reassurance.
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Old 06-18-2008, 09:07 PM
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i would never cheat i love him and myself to much plus i would not like it if he did the same so i stay away and to myself until my baby is home.
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Old 06-18-2008, 09:09 PM
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I am 100 percent faithful to my husband and will continue to be like that till death do us part regardless of situations. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think of another man touching me much less having a sexual encounter. I have needs, but when my husbands face voice and body is all that goes thru my head constantly, I have no choice but to take care of myself lol
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Old 06-18-2008, 09:53 PM
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yes i'm faithful. he has 20 years left and tells me all of the time to go out and have fun and if i find someone else he's ok with that as long as it doesn't interfere with me coming to see him. but i could never do that. i promised to stick by his side and i can't very well be sticking by his side if i'm out with someone else. he is who i want, period.[/i][/b]
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Old 06-18-2008, 09:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morgan17 View Post
ok so this is hard to write seeing that everyone else who has commented is totally faithful but you asked for honesty so here it is.
I love my boyfriend with all my heart and i want to spend the rest of my life with him but when we got together we talked about the fact that people have needs...he said it would be ok if i had sex every now and again as long as i was honest with him about it. So i guess to me it doesnt feel like i cheat on him..in a year i have had sex 3 times and everytime i was honest with him about it and he knows that it wasnt about wanting to be with the other person at all....im not saying it doesnt make it hard for him to hear about it or that i dont feel guilty about it but we love each other and this is the way it works for us.. So in my mind i am being faithful at least to our definition anyways....i dont do it very often and i dont get attached to anyone else but my man, there is nobody in this world that could take his place and i hope everyone who reads this doesnt think less of me..im just keeping it real and showing the other side of the coin....thanks for listening
i don't think less of you at all. it's a part of life we all have urges and needs and if he's ok with it that's all matters. you are true to him by his standards and again that's all that matters. like i said jeremy tells me all of the time to go find someone to have sex with, but i don't want, the need has not been that terrible yet. so to you say keep doin what you're doing as long as it's what you are both ok with
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