My Dads In Prison

ROBZLADY · #1 09-13-2003, 11:59 AM

I AM NEW TO THIS SO I WILL KEEP IT SHORT I AM 17 AND MY DAD IS IN PRISON FOR THE 3RD TIME AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE OR EVEN HOW TO FEEL I LOVE HIM TO DEATH BUT HOW CAN I LOVE HIM WHEN ALMOST ALL MY LIFE HE HAS BEEN IN AND OUT OF PRISON AND JAIL I AM AT A POINT OF QUESTION I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO HE WRITES ME AND TELLS ME HE WILL CHANGE AND HOW HE LOVES ME BUT HE HAS BEEN SAYING THAT SINCE HE WAS 17!!!! SO I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE THERE FOR HIM WHEN HE NEEDS ME U KNOW TO WRITE TO HIM SINCE NO OTHER FAMILY MEMBER WANTS ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM BUT I AM SCARED THAT WHEN HE DOES GET 0UT HE WILL JUST FORGET ABOUT ME AND GO BACK TO HIS OLD WAYS LIKE HE HAS DONE THE IN THE PAST AND I WILL BE LET DOWN AGAIN ????

IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE IN THIS SITUATION PLEASE REPLY I WOULD LIKE TO SEE WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE

deb · #2 09-14-2003, 09:03 PM

Welcome to PTO! I'm not in your situation but I wanted to say welcome.... You may want to post in the forum for kids with parents inside as I know we have other members with parents incarcerated and some have similar situations to yours... Hang in there!

Deb

reaganscott · #3 09-14-2003, 10:37 PM

I live in Texas as well and my Dad is in county waiting to go to court, what is your dad in for?

MyDadsinDeep · #4 10-10-2003, 03:29 PM

I was in the same exact situation with my father. I am now 32 and he is currenlty serving life in prison. It started with him being in and out of prison on small offenses and parol violations. He got his third strike five years ago and so my roller coaster emotions have settled down with his life sentence.

There is no easy way to deal with a parent that makes empty promises time after time. It has a lot to do with their desires to make themselves happy, and you SHOULD NOT take it personally. His going in and out of prison has nothing to do with anything you have done, and don't think if he loved you more he would keep up his promises and stay out of prison. I have mourned and greived the loss of my father. He is not dead, but our relationship as father and daughter will forever be gone. It took me 20 years to come to grips with the situation. I have also relied on God to pull me through it.

Now that he is in prison, we have the best relationship. I know he is safe, and has three meals a day. I don't have to worry if he is dead or alive. I know where he is at every minute of the day. You should keep up your relationship with him. He will someday see your love and fully see the wonderful son he created. You will feel better about yourself knowing you did not let down the person who needs you most.

Don't think dealing with your feelings will come easy. Everyday is a new day and dealing with it gets better with time.

lulu · #5 10-10-2003, 04:04 PM

welcome to pto. I am sorry to hear about your dad. He will surly need all the loved and support he can get

shelden · #6 10-17-2003, 10:29 PM

Hello,
My father is incarcerated and I am 33. He is awaiting trial in the Florida system. I have never had a good relationship with him until several years ago. I am all he has, in life we can choose our friends- but we can not choose our families. I write and give support every other day. I do this for him and for me. For him: to have something to look forward to. For me: because he is my father and it makes me feel good that I put a smile on his face today. Smiles are lost in jail or prison- If I can provide happiness I will do it, for him and for me.

angiea99 · #7 10-24-2003, 03:28 PM

I am doing some research on the effects of having a parent incarerated while you are in school and was wondering if any of you guys would be willing to talk with me. Thank you.
Angie

shelden · #8 10-25-2003, 09:23 AM

Angie, I would be more than happy to help you. I maybe 33, but I am in school (college) I am a nursing student. My life is busy with 3yr old twins and a 5 yr old, nursing school and my dad awaiting his fate. I am a single parent, trying to be a good: mother,daughter and student. Stress! I feel it. So if you want to chat contact me. mdor13632@aol.com

ballard01234 · #9 10-30-2003, 12:50 PM

My father is also in prison...this is the first time he's been in (only because they weren't able to convict him before) . I know what you mean...but I think you should be there for him no matter what...that is what will keep him going and that's what will encourage him to make an effort to not screw up when he gets out.

Your obviously all he has left...or the only thing that is a positive part of his life.

I'm not saying I don't think you'll be let down. Who knows? I have been let down time and time again by my father...but that isn't what matters now...it's the past and you have to have and keep faith that it won't happen again. You have to believe in him so that he has enough confidence to start believing in himself. I'm sure your father will try, just be sure and stand right by his side continuosly reminding him that you're there for him and also...that you yourself can't take the dissapointment again.

It's hard, I know, and it happens time and time again it seems. But life's hard sometimes and I think we can both handle the dissapointment if it means the next time he might change.

Carrie

ballard01234 · #10 10-31-2003, 03:22 AM

I'm also 17 yrs. old.