Very Useful Information For Caregivers Of Prisoner's Children

[Amelia]

I CAME ACROSS THIS SITE WHILE DOING SOME RESEARCH INTO STARTING A SUPPORT GROUP FOR THE CHILDREN. THEY HAVE SOME REALLY HELPFUL INFO.

http://www.fcnetwork.org/cpl/cplindex.html

love,
Amelia

[hisheartztwin]

Thanks for the info on the site, Im sure I'll use it alot!

[Taenas]

The info on this site has been helpful to me. I thank you for sharing!

[ChandaMija]

Thank you, Amelia, very much for the link... I'm thinking of being a foster mom for an inmate's child.

[horsegal]

Thanks for the link, I put it in my favorites. There is a lot of good info, and advise on that web site!

[NC_Peaches]

My thanks also, we are raising my son's son who is 4 now. He was 6 mos when my son was arrested and almost 3yrs old before my son was tried and imprisoned. I took my grandson every week to the county jail and tried to keep the bond tight during that entire time...this was from behind glass. We didn't get to touch my son when he needed us most.

When my son was sent for processing we went to visit him and he and his son got to touch for the first time since he was 6 mos old...needless to say I will always have that picture in my mind for the rest of my life.

Also, during that time of non touching...my daughter in law went wild and left their son with her Aunt until the Aunt tried to take custody of him. When we discovered this we had a custody case to deal with too...which we won. The day our grandson was given to us by the court was also the same day my daughter in law was put in prison for probation violation...she served 2 and a half years. In spite of all she did we worked with her mother so her son could visit her. We heard all the classic "stories" of how she is going to be the best mother ever when she comes home. She lasted 3 months on probation ... it's now been 8 months since she came home and she is pregnant by a guy who physically abuses all women he has relationships with ... she also is still in hiding because she is an absconder.

So anyway...I look for stories and ariticles and advice everywhere to help us raise our grandson to be a good man...he will be 9 when his daddy comes home.

[kittylitter]

Where does one find resources, ways to live, ways to care for your children while you're incarcerated? I find myself in a position where my husband cannot afford enough rent on his own, plus child care for two small children. It's not working out to live with my parents at all, and I just don't know where to turn.

I sold my house in another state, but my husband is still there working. I've moved to another state, to a house my parents bought, but if it doesn't work out, do I go back to the other state? Do I find resources here in this area? Do we look for another area? Does anyone know of a support system for one parent with small children, who needs some help to get thru this time?

[suzeg3]

Awesome website, thanks!

[kathycain]

Thank you for the information, added to my favorites list.

[jrin99]

Have you guys ever done Angel Tree? It is a program that provides inmates a way to give their children christams gifts at christmas time. Check it out at angeltree.org/site_hmpg.asp the founder also has a very interesting story. You can learn more about it at marykaybeard.com

[miamio]

My daughter and boyfriend are incarcerated in Colombia.Its been 14 months and they will be there 4-5 years more.This was suppose to have been a 2 week vacation which turned out to be a tragic nightmare,I took their daughter who was then just about 4.She is now 5.all this time,I have never heard her cry or ask about her parnets,until the past 2 nites,She was sobbing.I was broken hearted,She is a very happy kid and lives on our farm.She is in contact with her mother every week(calls,letters,gifts) and believes her parents are working in Colombia.Now I do not know what to do.A pyschologist friend told me to tell her the truth(age apropriate).I do not want to fly there with her.Its too dangerous and would be too traumatic.Her father is a loser and has not contacted her much.I do not talk about him at all.My daughter is very loving and attentive,but enables the low life all the time.I stopped supporting him,cause he has dissed his child.His family diss each other.I just do not know how to handle this grief of hers that has surfaced.I am angry at them both.I try to conmfort.thats all I can do.My anger is getting worse,but she does not see it.I am upbeat for her sake.The school does not know the situation,cause I do not want people to take it out on her the next few years of school.The child was uprooted from her home and friends and parents.all cause of their greed.I just want to hear how others in my shoes cope in handling the emotional stabillity of the kids.Please do not tell me prayer.I need answers to give this child.

[ricksgal]

I understand what you're going thru. My son is 5 and his dad has been gone most of his life and having to decide how and when and what to tell him is very hard. Everyone has their own opinions on the situation. The best advise I can give is to just answer questions as honestly as possible, but don't elaborate. My son doesn't know where his dad is even though we go visit every so often. I feel the burden of him knowing dad is in prison is too much. He does ask questions about where daddy is and why the have police officers where he lives. I just answer with dad has to live away from us for now. He actually calls it daddy's work, which is some what true because he does work there as well. I tell him the police are there to keep us safe. They are honest answers. If she does come out and ask if her parents are in jail, I'd tell her the truth, but not go into it too much. Just always assure her her mom loves her and will come home as soon as she can. If she's like my child, the crying spells at night will come and go. That's just part of it I think. Also assure her mom's not away because of something she did. And talk about her mom as much as she wants too. We talk about daddy every day. Things he likes to do, foods he likes, etc. Just stay positive for her and it will be fine! And don't doubt the power of prayer. If in doubt, ask God for guidance and He will help you thru! Good luck!

[jltnddt4life]

WOW! Thank you so much for that site. I have a step son that just turned six, his dad is incarcerated and his mom steped out of his life when he was 2 1/2. I have now had two other children with this man. one is 1 1/12 the other 5 mons. It has been really hard on the oldest boy, he calls me mom and I treat him as if I gave birth to him my self. He has really had a hard time with his dad leaving us and I think this site may have the questions & hopefully answers i often find myself trying to find. Thank you again!!

[Valentina]

Thanks for the info. I am forwarding the link to my friends with young kids. 1 in 40 children have a parent in prison? That is just outrageous!

[peppalbatross]

That is a very helpful site. I will be sending my grandmother the link. She is taking care of my brother and sister right now.