Kids Visiting Prisons

Thumper81 · #1 09-07-2003, 01:30 PM

WE ALL GET ON HERE AND TALK ABOUT THE SYSTEM HOW MESSED UP IT IS OR OUR LOVE FOR OUR SON BROTHER HUSBAND WIFE FIANCE' BUT I HAVENT SEEN ONE POST ON HOW ANYONE FEELS ABOUT TAKING THEIR CHILD TO SAEE ONE OR BOTH OF THEIR PARENTS IN PRISON. MY FIANCE' SOON TO BE HUSBAND IS CURRENTLY IN JAIL FIXING TO BE SHIP OUT AND I TAKE OUR 3 WEEK OLD SON UP THERE TO SEE HIM BUT I KNOW HE ISN'T OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHERE OR WHY HE CANT TOUCH HIM OR GET/GIVE KISSES TO HIS DADDY LIKE HE DOES HIS MOMMY I KNOW HE KNOWS ITS HIS DADDY BECAUSE HE KNOWS HIS VOICE BUT HOW DO YOU KEEP THAT SACARED BOND BETWEEN A FATHER SON CHILD WHILE HE IS LOCKED UP WHEN DO YOU OR DID YOU START TAKING THEM TO SEE THEM.

deb · #2 09-07-2003, 01:38 PM

Mine went right away... Your son is young, but daddy still needs to see him....

Deb

toi_ama · #3 09-07-2003, 01:42 PM

I think up till the child is a few years old, you're doing it more for the father and yourself than for the child in many ways, but it does help to keep family bonds tight when you take a child to see his father or mother right from the start. I'd do it but not on every visit, since it gets really long and boring for the baby or young child and they don't understand. If they get too bored and start acting up, then you run the risk of getting your visit terminated early, plus none of you has a very good time.

Thumper81 · #4 09-07-2003, 02:41 PM

WE GET 2 30 MINUTE VISITS A WEEK SO I TAKE HIM ONCE AND I GO BY MYSELF ONCE A WEEK

Thumper81 · #5 09-07-2003, 02:41 PM

3 DAYS TIL I KNOW WHERE HE'S BEING SHIPPED I MISS HIM SO MUCH ALREADY

JJH · #6 09-07-2003, 03:11 PM

I think all ages can go. We went to a counselor for advise on this and she said especially if they are asking, to take them. And always be honest about the situation. You don't have to elaborate but keep your answers short and direct...and honest. My personal opinion is not to make too much of the situation. It's hard on kids, no way around that.

Thumper81 · #7 09-07-2003, 03:21 PM

THANK YOU I TRY TO BE HONEST WITH EVERYONE I JUST KNOW ONE DAY HE WILL BE OLD ENOUGH TO START ASKING QUESTIONS AND I DONT WANT HIM TO THINK JUST BECAUSE HE'S IN PRISON HE'S A BAD PERSON OR DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE TO BE IN YOU KNOW I MEAN HONESTLY MY MAN IS GOING TO PRISON BECAUSE HE DROVE A CAR WITHOUT A LICENCE TOO MANY TIMES

Corrine · #8 09-07-2003, 06:48 PM

My daughter has been going to the prison to visit her uncle since she was a week old. She went and visited her dad in county jail and she goes with me to see Corey. This is all part of her entire families life.

Zelda50 · #9 09-08-2003, 06:52 PM

Your post sounds like your child's father is in county jail and you visit through glass. If he's in a place where there is contact visiting, I think it's very important that an infant spend time with his/her father and bond with him. No other way for that to happen except in visits. I took our son to visit his father in prison for the first time when he was 3 weeks old. We've been visiting ever since and our son is 14 years old now. The age where it became a bit more difficult for him was when the guards start telling him what to do directly rather than asking me to tell him (and being unreasonable with him at times). His dad was great at helping him deal with that - to talk about inner control and not letting them control him by pushing his buttons. I always emphasize to him that his father being in prison has nothing to do with him. It's a circumstance we just deal with as a family. He even wrote a wonderful paper for his 8th grade English class on "love" which described people visiting in prison. Zelda

kmeg · #10 10-18-2003, 09:21 PM

I know that when I took the kids to see Frank in Ohio I knew that the only thing important to them was seeing thier daddy. They could of cared less where or anything else as long as they got to see him. they were 5 and 7 at the time. And they had a super time, there was a library for them to "check out books" and also had crayons, color and activity pages for them to play with too.
CJ

SCLady · #11 10-18-2003, 11:18 PM

My son went right away too, he is seven, but I don't believe we will be doing the visits this time.

melanie · #12 10-24-2003, 07:56 PM

Our daughter is 2 1/2 and she has been going every time that i go! we go 4 times a month so once a week. she did not go every time while he was in county because it was very hard on her she did not know why she could not give her daddy a hug but she goes every week with me now and she does really good! we go from like 930 till 3 and she plays with him and stuff and has done really good! she can get books and get papers to color!

Kebela1 · #13 10-26-2003, 03:35 AM

I agree with Zelza50. If he is in county then it is good for the childs dad to see him. If and when the daddy goes to a prison, then it is imparative that they get the physical contact for the bonding and to to keep up good relationships no matter what age. I think it is great that you take the baby to see daddy.
Kebela

GSPack · #14 10-30-2003, 09:58 AM

I also agree with the visit especially the little ones as they will hear Daddy voice nd bond with that until they are old enough to understand that who he is exactly. Because of the distance and inability to drive I was unable to see my daughter or take her baby to se her. It was not until June of 2002(while mom was at work release) when she got to see her in person since she was 3 months old. When Mom was sent back to prison and came to our county jail for a court heraring I made a special visit to the jail and the glass windows in June o9f this year. That was intrumental in order for my grandddaughter to understand where her mommy is now behind locked gates and not working. She no longer asks to see her for now and is content to color her pictures and "mail Letters". We have mommy picture on a cabinet and she tells her goodnight and good morning every day on her own. and sometimes during the day she will waalk past it and say Hi Mommy! She knows for now Mommy s n "Time Out" for a while so she can learn to be good and not break the rules. She will turn 4 in Feb, but wise beyond her years.
GSP

Mayte · #15 11-09-2003, 10:32 PM

hi everyone i am 12 years old and i have been going to see my father in prison since i was 8 years old! if u look up my scrren name dont worry i am not lying its just that this is my mother name not mine if u really wanna know how us kids feel about ging to see our fathers in those places then reply and i will love to reply to anyone with questins i've been though alot that some kids havent! thanx for listening