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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: Do you think he/she really does love you?
Yes 82 81.19%
No 6 5.94%
Can't be sure 14 13.86%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 101. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 10-14-2006, 01:25 PM
LovinHim LovinHim is offline
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Default Do they really love you?

Many people I see on here have fallen in love with a prisoner. How do we really know that they love us too? I have heard from people who were played and have also heard about people who sell everything they have just to help that person while they are locked up. Later only to realise it was all a scam.
So how can you tell if he/she really does love you and is not just messing with your emotions to get what they can from you? Obviously this does not apply to all pen pals, I know that. I have 4 pp's from different states. None of them I knew before they were locked up.
And just for the record, I myself am in love with an inmate on death row. I have no doubts as to his love for me. He has never asked me for any money. He always puts my happiness first and he is so sincere that there can never be any doubt in my mind as to the way he feels for me. I love him too and trust him implicitly.
I just want to know what others have experienced.
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  #2  
Old 10-14-2006, 01:36 PM
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I know my man loves me, without a doubt in my mind. We met when I was a CO, he told me of his feelings for me long before i ackowledged mine for him. He never asked me for anything but to give him a chance to prove to me that he was serious, and to open up my heart and love him. Which eventually I did stop pretending I didn't love him, and I quit my job there so that I didn't have to hide it anymore. I know he isn't using me for anything, because he never asked for anything when I was inside with him everyday, and he never asks for anything now. Now I know that nobody sends him money, he never had money on his books when I worked there. But he always had everything he needed or wanted, everybody has their hustle and he takes care of himself, so even though I would send him money if he asked, he never has and I expect never will, simply because he wants me to know that he can take care of himself, and that all he wants from me, is me and my love. And I have given it to him unconditionally. Every persons situation is different, but for me, I have no doubts.
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  #3  
Old 10-14-2006, 03:33 PM
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My love on death row has never asked for a dime from me. He only wants my love. He has even sent me money in the past. Its not a matter of what he can get from me. I know he loves me, as I love him.
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  #4  
Old 10-14-2006, 04:18 PM
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I think you know in the bottom of your stomach its real and its a isnt a game you know. Of course i'm not inside my mans head and can know what he is thinking, but from what I feel and what his family says he says and what he tells me and how he acts, I know in my heart he loves me. I have never sent him any money and he has never asked. He hasnt had to do like 10 years, please no offence to anyone that has I appalud you cause I dont know if I could stay for that long he will be home and hopefully we will go on with our life and try to move on from this time we share apart. And if not, well then atleast I know in my heart I did my best! Atleast I won't have regrets
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  #5  
Old 10-14-2006, 04:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevensgirl
I think you know in the bottom of your stomach its real and its a isnt a game you know.
This is exactly how I feel.
My head says...YES!
My heart says....YES!
My gut instinct says....YES!
What more do I need?
I love the way this forum is so positive. I really thought I'd see a negative comment by now, but no.
I guess theres more good men in prisons than we give them credit for.
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  #6  
Old 10-14-2006, 04:41 PM
SexyChef1 SexyChef1 is offline
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Yeppers....we told each other we loved each other in the same week..both without knowing the other had written the same thing..its like we both knew it was TIME to admit our true feelings. I see many times on here women tend to say "he doesnt ask me for money" well mine doesnt ask me for money for food,magazines,toiletries...my man has asked me for his FREEDOM...theres no price on that. Ive happily hired him an appeal attorney. Anyone who's say "he doesnt ask me for money" please dont take offense what im saying is I believe people say that because its a defense mechanism because most people say I bet he doesnt love you, I bet he's using you for money...I believe im loved even if he did ask for money.
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  #7  
Old 10-14-2006, 04:42 PM
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You look for the same things that you'd look for on the outside, but often, more subtle versions of it... When things go south, 90% of the time, when the person is brutally honest, they admit there were signs they missed or ignored at the time...

Jenn
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  #8  
Old 10-14-2006, 04:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bmarleyluva
Yeppers....we told each other we loved each other in the same week..both without knowing the other had written the same thing..its like we both knew it was TIME to admit our true feelings. I see many times on here women tend to say "he doesnt ask me for money" well mine doesnt ask me for money for food,magazines,toiletries...my man has asked me for his FREEDOM...theres no price on that. Ive happily hired him an appeal attorney. Anyone who's say "he doesnt ask me for money" please dont take offense what im saying is I believe people say that because its a defense mechanism because most people say I bet he doesnt love you, I bet he's using you for money...I believe im loved even if he did ask for money.
Honey my man has NEVER EVER asked me for money. And I'm not saying it to prove a point either. He is a good man. And boy does he make me happy!
I want to add that I DO send him money. I'm not ashamed that I do either. Why should I be? When I offered him it he said no, he doesn't need it. I told him I want him to have a little extra and how much I really want to do this for him. So now I send him money, a little when I can. He never has asked though and always says thankyou way too many times! But if I do send him money then so what? Its mine to do with what I will!
I do agree with you that there are some people on here that mention their man/woman does not ask for money and I sometimes wonder myself if that is true. Especially when the money issue is not a factor in the thread.
I have made that choice myself. I have other pp's and if they were to ask me for money I would tell them no. So far they haven't, but I don't think they will because I have told them I am a friend and thats it. They respect that.
Its all good.

Last edited by LovinHim; 10-14-2006 at 04:55 PM..
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  #9  
Old 10-14-2006, 05:19 PM
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Speaking for myself the fact that he was in prison when we met was a factor only in terms of the physical distance between us, otherwise we treated the relationship just as any other. I knew he loved me even before he spoke the words, it was the way he treated me with kindness and always managed to address my needs throughout his incarceration. Despite his circumstances he was always considerate and always showed concerned for whatever I was dealing with at any given time. It was a fateful day when he misdialed that number and got me instead, having him home is the very best part.

Patty
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  #10  
Old 10-14-2006, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovinHim
So how can you tell if he/she really does love you and is not just messing with your emotions to get what they can from you?
When he makes you his priority, when you are number one in his life, when he has shared his most deepest secrets, when he would die for you.
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  #11  
Old 10-14-2006, 05:30 PM
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I know he loves me, because, lets be honest, being with me in no walk in the park. I would kick myself to the curb before playing me because I can be that annoying.
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  #12  
Old 10-14-2006, 05:38 PM
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If I had doubts about his love for me I wouldn't be married or in this relationship. To me its no different than a relationship in the streets.. the only difference in ours (as in MWI members) is we met them after incarceration.

A player is a player whether he's inside or out.. whether you MWI or met prior.
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  #13  
Old 10-14-2006, 05:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whiskeylullabye
I know he loves me, because, lets be honest, being with me in no walk in the park. I would kick myself to the curb before playing me because I can be that annoying.

Ditto
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  #14  
Old 10-14-2006, 06:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevensgirl
I think you know in the bottom of your stomach its real and its a isnt a game you know.
I think this is 100% correct. In the past I have been in relationships that as much as I wanted then to work for one reason or the other I always knew in the pit of my stomach that it wasnt the one. It was the one for the moment and that was it.

When my husband and I first started getting serious I questioned if he really loved me or was just saying it. When I came to terms with the fact he wasnt playing me I started questioning if he loved me or if he just thought he did. I kept asking myself if I was just a fantacy in his world because he was locked up and wanted a normal relationship. I remember the first time I fell in love with love. At that time I thought I was in love, but in reality it was the idea of love I was in love with. I wondered if my husband was in love with that same dream.

Either way he and I are both so in love with each other. Maybe I was his dream and he was my dream, but I wouldnt expect a couple in love to feel any differant about each other.


Bottom line is love is a risk no matter what, when, where or who. Sometimes the risk is bigger then others, but deep down your gut will give you the signal. You just have to be willing to listen to your gut even if its not what you want to hear. I will almost bet most of us can say looking back our gut was correct had we only listened to it
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  #15  
Old 10-14-2006, 07:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OsHoney
When he makes you his priority, when you are number one in his life, when he has shared his most deepest secrets, when he would die for you.


OH YES! So true!
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  #16  
Old 10-14-2006, 08:30 PM
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Default he loves me no doubt.......

I know my man loves me because no matter what differences we have had.... it is always a given that no matter what we love each other. He told me he loved me ten years ago and i believe that has been what has kept me going through mylast ten years of life.... always knowing he was there. First as my friend and now as the love of my life. YOU JUST KNOW!!!!
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  #17  
Old 10-14-2006, 08:34 PM
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I have the usual doubts that anyone who has been burned before has. But it isn't any more doubt because we MWI or that he is a prisoner. I know that I love him and how he makes me feel, so yes, I think he does love me. For me to have let my gaurd down enough to say those words to someone again, I have to deep down believe that this is the real thing even if I'm a little wary.
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  #18  
Old 10-14-2006, 10:23 PM
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All I can say is.....Heck yea my baby lovez me I know it and he knows it and that is all that matters!
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  #19  
Old 10-15-2006, 01:04 AM
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My man has asked me to send stamps. He sends money to me for the phone bill, he has intrusted me to open a bank account for him and he sends money through his mom to give to me to save for him He tells me he loves me and we are crazy about each other. Never met face to face yet but I DO KNOW HE LOVES ME!!!
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  #20  
Old 10-15-2006, 07:53 AM
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i am like whiskey...being with me isn't always easy...and he still manages to hang on and even grab a tighter hold!

he has done things for me that no other man did, and his situation is a sticky one indeed...he's in prison!

when i quit my job, he paid the bills in the house. when i got sick, he made sure i got a call to my hospital room EVERY SINGLE DAY to check my health. he introduced me to his family, and we created a beautiful child together. when i hit a serious financial bump, he didn't bail out on me. when i get stressed, he talks me through it. even when i don't think so highly of myself, he thinks the world of me! the list goes on and on.

i am wrapping up everything HotLatina, mrsdragon, and whiskey said all into one...because they are right on.

believe me...i know he loves me! even the situation we're in right now points to it...

no...no doubts here!
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  #21  
Old 10-15-2006, 08:06 AM
HeSoHandsome HeSoHandsome is offline
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Default Do they really love you?

In my situation, yes. Number one I'm lovable -- whoever is with me will love me. And, also what whiskey said.
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  #22  
Old 10-15-2006, 08:53 AM
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I have to agree, most people if they looked back , would honestly say there were warning signs, but I think we all (( as women )) want to believe in someone , and many skip the fact that we have to believe in us first , and pay attention to a lil voice inside ,
I have issues !! i am a rollercoaster ride 4 real 4 real , he is a rider , hasnt gotten off the ride for a minute , and everything I throw at him , in my messy life , he catches and calms it down
yeah I am truly !! truly loved !!
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Old 10-15-2006, 09:04 AM
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When you can expose all of yourself- as fragile as that can be sometimes- and he is still there, loving you even more for that.
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  #24  
Old 10-15-2006, 08:04 PM
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I have no doubt about my man's love for me... what man does anyone know that will take you back with a child? I know there are any good men in this world that will take any god women into their lives even if they hae children... the difference in my life is that my man was and still is my first love... we started going out when I was 14 years old... we've been off and on for many years. We married when I was 18 and then divorced a couple of years later because i felt that he was always choosing his gang over me which kept putting him in jail. I remarried someone else I had a baby and he took me back. The best part of it all is that he calls and treats my daughter as his own even though her father is still in her life. She means so much to him that he has asked for several pictures of her so that he can tattoo a portrait of her on his back. I have no doubt in my mind that my man loves me more than the world itself... i'm glad to say I feel the same way about him. By the looks of it you are all truly loved by your men/women as well.
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  #25  
Old 10-16-2006, 02:41 AM
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He shares his heart and more and more of the details of his life, he is always concerned about me and mine, but untill he is on the outside and I see how he deals with all the temptations, I guess I won't know if he can love me the way he does now (incarcerated)....I can forgive alot and deal with alot, hell I put up with myself!!...lol....I do love him with all my heart and I know he feels the same.....we will see.....eyes wide open I guess....
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