cheating while on drugs

[JustB]

Do you forgive/forget??
Is that an excuse "I only did that because i was on drugs" .

So does that make it okay?? I'm a firm believer if they cheat once then they will more than likely cheat again (or 2, 3, 4 times).
But does it make a difference if they where on drugs, went to prison, are cleaning up in prison & will be clean in 2 or 3 years when they are out- - - - are they still a cheater at heart? Or was it the drugs??

[kristienmark]

This is only my opnion::::: Drugs will make you do things that you would normally not do in an average day to day sober life. Now the question is, Has he ever cheated on you sober? Did he cheat on you with someone that was also on drugs? And do you think he would cheat on you if he were not on drugs? I do not believe the ole saying " once a cheat, always a cheat " applies to everyone. Some people just make terrible mistakes. If you love him, try to work through these problems, if you can't....save yourself alot of heartache and let him go.

[JustB]

He has cheated more than once. And yes the other someone (s) where also on drugs. And since the beginning of our relationship he has always been on drugs. (well really after the first 6 months - then a friend of his passed away and it was all down hill).

i used to think i could deal with it - Three years later, now i know i can't. And he is finally off of drugs (now that he's in prison).

I know with every piece of my heart - if he stays faithful and clean then he is the one that i want to be with.

He says his drugs/cheating/wild days are over. And a big part of me believes him. I dunno, guess i'm very terrified to wait so long - only to go through all of it over again.

[mrsford]

Drugs allow people do stupid things, but do not control a person unless they let them. A person's morals are always with them. Each person makes a concious choice on how they will act. Hope things go well for you. Using drugs as an excuse means the person is not taking responsibility for their behavior.

[HeSoHandsome]

Originally Posted by mrsford

. . . Using drugs as an excuse means the person is not taking responsibility for their behavior.

Oh my mrsford, I really like that, like on a scale of 1-10, a 20!!

[june5]

Well here's my take on it. It is true that people have gotten hooked on drugs and done all types of crazy things that they wouldn't do sober.

Alot of times, people say, "if he wasn't on drugs, he would be a nice person." But sometimes a person is a total jerk while on drugs, and also a total jerk while off drugs. It's really hard to say since you did not know him while he was off drugs.

The "drugs made me do it" thing is a little bit disturbing, like someone else said, he isn't taking the responsibility. If he cheated while on drugs, then he knew that each time he did drugs, he might cheat, and he kept doing drugs. So no matter how you slice it, he is responsibile for his own behavior.

All you can do is wait and see what he is like when he is clean and sober. Alot of times a person is totally different when they are not on drugs. I know a person who was married to a drug addict who NEVER cheated. He went to rehab, got clean, and then cheated!!! It's really hard to say without knowing what he is like sober.

[c's baby]

I used to use the excuse, he was on drugs. that was the only time he cheated and lie. Well, bull pucky! I would like to know what his excuse was when he wasn't doing dope!
He knew what he was doing. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Or least that is what they want to be.
My divorce will be final in September 2006!
Bye bye cheating and lying.

[AmyLynn]

My Ex use to use that excuse all of the time. Then when he did get sober for a while he was working the steps and he had to admit things. TO me is just an EXCUSE. I was an addict and when I cheated on my ex it was just to see if I could. Not cause I was high. But some men do change and there are under lying reason he might be cheating on you.. I'm not sure only you know your relationship well enough to make a choice. but I do know that if you cant let it go then more than likely your relationship will fail cause with out TRUST there is nothing!!

[JJT]

Is Dr Jeykle responsible for Mr Hydes actions?

[c's baby]

Originally Posted by JJT

Is Dr Jeykle responsible for Mr Hydes actions?

Wow! What powerful words.

[MandyMeMe]

One thing to be concerned about is, not knowing him when he has been off drugs. He will be a total different person. Some people cant handle that. They are so used to the "high" person then when that person is no longer "high" then they can't handle being around them. The only person you can change is you. I would spend this time right now while he is away to work on yourself. FInd out who you are and take care of you. Being cheated on is not acceptable. Stand up for what you know is right and dont settle for anything less.

[nimuay]

I've been pretty sloshed a few times, but I can't imagine that I would cheat unless the relationship was foundering or was one I wasn't terribly serious about in the first place.

When I did cheat, it was after a long string of ridiculous behaviors by him that let me know that HE wasn't serious.

[RushIntoMe]

i would like to say these two things:
one-->my man was a horrible guy on the outside. he did a lot of things while he was young and dumb. he has changed totally done a 180.
two-->i used to be very wild. i partied all the time, made stupid decisions, cheated on my then bf many, many times. ((i do agree with one of the ladies that it was because our relationship was on the outs. )) i also didnt work very much, would skip things i had committed myself to, etc etc. but now, i am a much different person because i chose to be. i made the decision to change my life because it was so dang hectic. now, i have a full-time job, living in a great place and am starting school again in a week.
theres so food for thought. good luck!!

[JustB]

Thanks for all of the responses and opinions!!!!