I AM YOUR DISEASE (you need to read this it is touching)

Dereks_gurl · #1 06-24-2006, 12:03 PM

I AM YOUR DISEASE

I hate meetings i hate higher power, I hate anyone who has a program. to all who come in contact with me I wish you death and suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself i'm the disease of Alcholism and drug addiction- cunning, baffling and powerful.
thats me I have killed millions and I am pleased. I love to pretend or pretending i'm your friend or lover.
I have given you comfort have I not??
Wasn't I there when you were lonely? I was there when you wanted to die, didn't you call me?? I was there I love to make you hurt. I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. you can't feel anything at all this is true glory.

I will give you intant grtifacation and all I ask in return is long term suffering.
I've been there for you always when things were going right for you in your life, you invited me in.
You said you didn't deserve these good things and I was the only one who agreed together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.

People don't take me seriously. they take strokes serious, heart attacks serious, even diabetes they take serious fools that they are they don't know that without my help these things would not be made possible

I'm such a hated disease and yet i don't come uninvited.
you choose to have me. so many have chosen me over reality and peace more than you hate me I hate all of you who have 12 step programs, your programs your meetings your higher power....
All weaken me and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must lie here quietly. you don't see me but I am growing stronger and bigger than ever,
when only you exist I may live when you live I only exist but I am here and until we meet again if we ever meet again I wish death and suffering.

ANONOMOUS

Eternal Hope · #2 06-25-2006, 03:44 PM

Dereks Girl that is powerful. I am sending a copy to my stepson. Thanks for posting! This is so very true, and the reality slaps you in the face!

psnvyd · #3 07-09-2006, 11:05 PM

oh my god that was so deep it really touched me i loved that so much it was the truth all of it and i appreciate u posting that.

okie · #4 07-13-2006, 12:59 AM

Yup that is a good one and real true, I saw it in rehab a few months back. Of course back then I thought it was bullsh*t as I didn't think I had the disease- the disease was telling me I didn't.

David'smom · #5 07-26-2006, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okie

Yup that is a good one and real true, I saw it in rehab a few months back. Of course back then I thought it was bullsh*t as I didn't think I had the disease- the disease was telling me I didn't.

Thanks Derek's gurl. That WAS good and Okie, your quote was honest.
Something to think about. (The disease was telling me I didn't have it.)
God Bless you both.
D'mom

janaroux727 · #6 08-21-2006, 07:27 PM

Thanks for sharing that.

I plan to send it to my son.

sparky951 · #7 08-24-2006, 03:30 AM

i am a alcohol and drug counselor, i read this and will print it for my clients. i work primarily with pregnant teens an teen mothers. this is a very deep and moving poem.

barbie16118 · #8 08-25-2006, 12:33 PM

very touching. i do think that everyone should stop referring to alcohol and drug problems as a disease it is not! it is not an illness. if people started saying what it really is they may start to make better decisions about it. its a choice, a desire, but for sure not a disease , and to use the excuse that i have heard so many addicts use" i cant help it i have a disease" just makes me laugh and feel sorry for you cause with that attitude , that most learn in these programs,will never have a chance to be clean for good.

Frankiesbaby · #9 08-25-2006, 02:23 PM

Your thinking is very narrow minded. Do you really think that people enjoy destroying their lives? Unless you have experienced the misery that drug addiction causes, you have no right to pass judgement on other people. Drug addiction is not a character flaw. It is a disease!!! But, with proper treatment it is a disease that can be arrested. So, until you have walked a mile in my shoes, you have no right to judge me or anyone else that lives with this disease!!

BMWgirl29 · #10 08-25-2006, 02:49 PM

I agree with Frankiesbaby. i have dealth with all of it first hand and with loved ones, (family & friends). Going to family group and learning all about it was a learning experience. i always thought i was the "reason" they did this or that. No its not me. its the disease....it happens to the the strong and the weak, any color, shape or form.

sparky951 · #11 08-25-2006, 03:01 PM

thank u frankiesbaby!!! i'm a recovering addict i used herion for close to 30 yrs, among a whloe lot of other drugs too!!! IT IS A DISEASE YES I MADE THE CHOICE AND I STILL HAVE THIS DISEASE AN ALWAYS WILL!!but i also made the choice to stop ths maddness. i am now a alcohol and drug counselor, in fact today i am graduating from school an have been out working in this field. its a disease cause once addict always addicted. i know in my heart i still have that one good slam in me, i know once i go there again, i will never return. i work a program keep, keep positive people in my life, an reach out to those others that are in pain with their DISEASE. barbie16118, you are entitled to your opinion an thats fine. but, unless youv'e been where i come from don't judge only GOD can judge a person.

barbie16118 · #12 08-25-2006, 03:11 PM

i used very hard drugs for over 15 years. yes i was and will always be a drug addict. i have been clean since my youngest daughter was 1 (thats 9 years) i did not have a disease or an illness, i had a drug problem! nothing more and nothing less. my husband is in prison because he used and still uses drugs , still not a disease or an illness, its a choice. a choice we made. cancer, aids, diabetes those are diseases. drugs is not and never will be a disease it was a choice you made.

barbie16118 · #13 08-25-2006, 03:31 PM

i am sorry if anyone thought i was judging them. i would never do that. i have been to hell and back, seen things that were awful, and relized one day this was not the life for me or for my kids. i grew up with drugs all around me, most of my family members used, x- boyfriends, and friends. so i have been there and i do know drug and/or alcohol use is not a disease.i have a brother with a real disease its called diabetes. he must take insulin 2 times a day to stay alive. a disease is something givin to you by god its not a choice, drugs are a choice, not a disease.

RMD4EVER · #14 08-25-2006, 05:44 PM

barbie,i understand what your saying,and i agree with you no way is it a disease, i believe you got misunderstood,or it was taken wrong,its an addiction caused by choices that we're made! god bless! just as smoking is additive and by no means a disease,although the bad choices we make diseases can stim from them! thanks for sharing that letter!

Conspicuous · #15 08-27-2006, 02:07 PM

I went to a NA meeting with a friend! Matter of fact it was a closed meeting and I wasnt suppose to be there but my friend begged me to stay in there with her! So I did!
I have always been the one to say drugs are drugs and alcohol is alcohol how can they call it a disease or an illness I just never understood that! I also believed it was a choice a person made!
This particular person got up and talked and he said basically what I had always thought and then he said have you ever looked the word disease up in the dictionary
DISEASE: a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms

So that day really changed my way of thinking because drugs and alcohol do IMPAIR NORMAL FUNCTIONING.

I was glad I went to that meeting that day! I dont do drugs and I guess I would be called a social drinker! But have plenty of friends and family that do and it helped me get a better understanding of the things they go through and I thank my friend for letting me go with her that day!