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Prison Visitation Everything related to Visitation. Please be sure and check the Regional Forums for your local visitation forum also!

View Poll Results: Have you ever had sex at visitation?
YES! YES! YES! YES! YESSSSSSSSSSS! 9 8.91%
Almost but NO cigar! 9 8.91%
Still going to try...and going and going and going! 20 19.80%
I would never do or try this! 63 62.38%
Voters: 101. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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  #1  
Old 07-27-2003, 06:18 PM
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Question Sex at visitation (Non trailer/conjugal visit kind of sex)

Just wondering how the average, run of the mill person feels when they "fool around" at a visitation? Any funny stories to share? Ever get caught? Ever get away with it? Have any advice on how to get away with it? HA! Just wondering about this issue.

FYI...IT IS POSSIBLE! <wink>


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Old 07-27-2003, 06:25 PM
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Buggles,

What do you mean by sex? Full intercourse? At visitation? Just thinking some may interpret "sex" differently..

Deb
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  #3  
Old 07-27-2003, 06:47 PM
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Nope, wouldn't try it, won't do it, have too much self-respect to degrade myself by having public sex and/or public groping.

I value 7 days a month of 6/12 hours visits with my husband FAR more than something that wouldn't be satisfying anyway. Its just not worth the risk of losing our visits, him possibly getting a major sexual misconduct ticket and even possibly a losing a chance at parole.

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Old 07-27-2003, 07:17 PM
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Neither would I Mrs. D. Somethings were meant to be private. And I don't care how careful you think you are being you are not alone and others are watching you, including small children. Is it really fair to subject them to seeing things of that sort before they are ready for it? After all they only came to see their parents not an X rated show. What are the parents to tell their children about what they saw?

However that being said, I am not upholding the practice of the DOC expecting men and women lose all sexual desire for one another just because they made a mistake. This is a very primal urge and need that is very big part of human nature. I think it is wrong to deny a person of these needs as much as it is wrong to deprive one of the need of food, water or shelter.

Why is it that Missouri has decided that only the law abiding have a right to experience this type of intimacy? Correct me if I am wrong but isn't the idea of prison suppose to restrict ones freedom from walking about and interacting with society as they once were able to? Isn't this their punishment? And I was under the impression that the goal was to reform those who had offended. I've never heard anything about them being forced to take a vow of cleibacy. Are they training these guys to be monks or what? If you want a man to be released and function within society in an appropriate manner than don't force him to go without the one thing that makes a man feel like a man and act like a man.

Besides could you imagine how much less problems there would be if congical visits were allowed. Anyone that was contemplating doing something stupid or losing his temper would most certainly think twice if he/she thought they would lose this kind of contact with their loved one.
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Old 07-27-2003, 07:21 PM
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I think that to much public displaying of affection is not appropriate for such a place, that should be saved for the privacy of the couple...themselves. I also wouldn't want to jeapordize any visiting priviledges, if I still had them.
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Old 07-28-2003, 01:01 AM
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1- He could be in the hole for a long time!

2- He could loose his good time (all or part)

3- You could be band from ALL the prisons in the State. If they move him, your still out of luck.

4- If skirting the rules/laws is a present attitude, most likely it will carry when he hits the gates and an excellent way of returing! Besides, that's most likely the #1 reason, that a lot are in prison in the first place.

Play around if you want too, but don't blame the system if you get burnt.
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Old 07-28-2003, 02:37 AM
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Thank you, B-Ray.
All very good points.
Some people who pushed the rules made them more strict for the rest of us.
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Old 07-28-2003, 06:54 AM
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NO FREAKING WAY would I chance losing our visits for a quick, unsatisfying bit of foreplay.

I think if you're willing to put your significant other into any predicament to get him further into trouble you're not being very smart.

Sheila
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  #9  
Old 07-28-2003, 07:41 AM
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Our time is relatively short compared to others.....we are waiting.....I don't see how you could get away with it where he's at anyway....they are really strict at visitation. I suppose where there's a will...there's a way, but I would never sacrifice my visits for one moment of physical pleasure...we'll have plenty of time for that later.......I wonder if I would say the same thing if his sentence was longer....!?!?!?!?

kath
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Old 07-28-2003, 08:51 AM
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I didn't realize I would open such a can of worms! I am curious as to the reactions of everybody. I respect all of your statements, but it's just surreal that I hear this and at visitation have witnessed during the 5 days I have been there for 6 hours a piece, I have seen EVERYTHING. FULL FLEDGE SEX...and, the CO's didn't bat a eye. I agree with the statements made in the postings...it is NOT worth anybody's time or visiting priveledges suspended...but again, it is natural body functioning...so it's going to happen. It's like a sneeze I guess...builds up and eventually HAS to be released. Do I think it's OK? I'm not one to judge, just wanted to see how other's felt about it. MOst of the women I met visiting have ALL done it in one way or another. Wether it's foreplay or full fledge sex...it was done there this weekend. Just thought I'd drop my opinion in here. I do NOT think I could ever do this...but again, I DID witness it happening with other's in visitation...there is a "code" and a "operation" that goes on. People "block" for one another...and vice versa. I guess if Florida DOC really wanted the men to not be so violent, they would allow them to release their frustrations in a positive manner that is God's natural way of relieving tension!

Bug ya'll later...
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Old 07-28-2003, 10:56 AM
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The rules for VR, yard and room visits where my husband is are pretty loosely enforced by most guards. We know which guards are OK with things and which ones are more picky. We've never actually had intercourse on a visit. That's one thing none of the guards allow.
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Old 07-28-2003, 11:01 AM
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I saw a couple make fools of themselves, the man was so disrespectful to his wife, he made her (I say made her?) lay on the picnic bench and they had sex for the world to see! One of the inmates parents seen it and when they got back to the yard, he was ready to jump the guy for being so disrespectful! It's not only the guards to worry about, they are others to think of.....
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Old 07-28-2003, 11:44 AM
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Aren't these visitation parks equipped with closed-circuit television in addition to being videotaped? Just because they're not "caught in the act" doesn't mean they won't be caught at all. Just the thought of a guard getting a rise out of watching me "get it on" would be deterrent enough. When people act upon their urges, they not only ruin future visitation for themelves, but they also jeopardize visitation for others. People need to conduct themselves as adults and practice self control.

Quote:
Originally posted by buggles4869
...but again, it is natural body functioning...so it's going to happen. It's like a sneeze I guess...builds up and eventually HAS to be released.
Three words: buy a toy

Quote:
I guess if Florida DOC really wanted the men to not be so violent, they would allow them to release their frustrations in a positive manner that is God's natural way of relieving tension!
One word: masturbation

To each his own, but don't infringe upon others...

Michelle
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Old 07-28-2003, 12:11 PM
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In a certain Arkansas Prison, you can pay a guard $50 bucks and make use of a broom closet just outside of the visitation area and the visitors restrooms have been known to be "locked" or "out of service" temporarily......

I had my plumbing checked a couple of times and on one occasion was "interrupted" by a guard but he didn't say a word to me or my husband.
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Old 07-28-2003, 01:46 PM
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I'll admit it, once, years ago, during a park visit we went into the bathroom and did it in the bathroom. Not terribly romantic but it worked for me. I have seen people doing it right out in the open at park visits & I never would have had the guts to do that, I never thought I'd have the guts to go to the bathroom either for fear of being caught, but the hormones started pumping and it had been quite a few years and no one was looking so we went in the bathroom, and did not get caught. This was the only prison I've ever been to that was set up with the bathrooms outside like that, practically unguarded, so it wouldn't work anywhere else that he's been. But I was younger then and a little bit more brave, I doubt I could do it now, too chicken.
  #16  
Old 07-28-2003, 03:54 PM
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No way will I ever do that The next thing you know inmates wifes and girlfreinds will be on a web site named

Caught in the Act at Prisons
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Old 07-28-2003, 04:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by buggles4869
I didn't realize I would open such a can of worms! I am curious as to the reactions of everybody. I respect all of your statements, but it's just surreal that I hear this and at visitation have witnessed during the 5 days I have been there for 6 hours a piece, I have seen EVERYTHING. FULL FLEDGE SEX...and, the CO's didn't bat a eye. I agree with the statements made in the postings...it is NOT worth anybody's time or visiting priveledges suspended...but again, it is natural body functioning...so it's going to happen.
Yes, this topic can be a 'can of worms' at PTO. The reaction of some of the longer term members, Moderators, and Administrators are such because we have seen members here lose visits for very small and questionable violations.

One member lost visits for 6 months because her mans arm apparently 'brushed past her breast'. They were not even aware that it had happened! There was no intent there but the Guards saw it as intentional. (On video tape after the fact)

I saw a couple lose their visits for three months in the prison where my Partner is because they were holding hands and their hands slipped from the arm of the chair and landed on his thigh. She was accused of mastrubating him and the visit was terminated. This was the furthest from the truth but the interpretation of the Guards.

Many members at PTO have lost their visits for innocent actions - some for actual events - but the result is lost visits.

I will have to say that I have read with great interest some of the stories that folks here have gotten away with and only wish (in my dreams) that where my Partner is we could get away with such actions - but contact where I visit is very strictly watched and controled. Hug and brief kiss on entry and exit and the only touching during the visit is hand holding. If you even ran your hand through their hair you would be called on it... Just not allowed.

As well, many members here have been subject to additional searches (holes in pockets) because of things that have occured in the past, so yes - sometimes everyone does suffer for actions of others trying to get away with things. I was never aware as to why I was pulling my pockets out for the Guards in the beginning until I read threads here at PTO - then the light went on. I though it was to make sure that I was not carrying anything in but it is also to check for holes.

I too have seen things in the visiting room - a stolen kiss or hug when you think that the Guard is not looking - contraband being passed over - a bit of a 'grab' here and there. I have also seen the Guards viewing the video tape and then coming out and 'having a word' with the couple that thought that they got away with something an hour ago. Angry/sad faces are left when the Guard walks away.

I think that there are prison visiting rooms that things do happen. I think also that sometimes it is in the lower security facilities, or for whatever reason the Guards in one prison just don't care? I don't know.

What I do know is that in the past we could sit side by side with our arm around the others back. You could rub your loved ones back and get away with it. Now, none of that. Each time I visit the contact rules are more strict and more closely watched.

I think that anyone here that is saying "DON'T DO IT" is just looking out for the general membership and suggesting that they be prepared for what the consequences are to be if all of a sudden the rules change and you were not informed. How many times have we all seen that happen with the correctional system? What was allowed today suddenly is not tomorrow.

No one here intends to 'pick a fight' with anyone on this issue or get anyone's blood pressure cooking... Most are just sharing experiences - as are the ones that have gotten away with it...

Personally, outside of the hug and the kiss that everyone is allowed I would not do something 'more' in public. Just not my nature. I am not a prude but also don't want to watch anyone else get it on either...

Sorry for the dissertation, but the words just kept flowing! LOL
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Old 07-28-2003, 05:10 PM
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No and I wouldn't do it.
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Old 07-28-2003, 08:12 PM
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I wouldn't do it.. but at the facility where Corey is, I have seen plenty of people have a quickie while getting their picture taken... The woman will sit on her mans lap.. while the picture man(helps if there are 2 present) block the view from the CO's.
The ride(so to speak) is a short one, but there is at least one woman I know of who has gotten pregnant...

ALli
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Old 07-28-2003, 08:38 PM
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I've never been with Shawn on the outside....and that's all the more reason we wouldn't do anything degrading like getting our f*ck on in public (especially in a prison VR).

We want to have good memories about our "first" time together; some stranger "blocking us" so we can have a minute and a half of frenzied pumping through a rip in my jeans is not what I'd call a "memorable experience".

More like something I'd want to erase from my mind forever

Oh, and as an aside....
Any man who dared attempt to "make me lie down" in public (on ANY surface) to satisfy his urges, would be cause for me to punch his ever-loving head so far up his *ss, finding a place to park his stickshift would be the last thing on his mind for a long, long time.

<evil grin>

Susan in Providence
  #21  
Old 07-29-2003, 01:29 PM
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We have never done nothing like that as that we only get to visit about 4 times a year and neither one of us want to risk getting the visit terminated. Also we have a daugther that is there with us as well as other kids in visiting room. I think its rather tasteless and degrading for someone to do something like that in open for all to see. I know in VA where my hubbie is there is no chance for something like that.

Last time we went to visit hubbie there was a guy who was famous for whipping out his package and jerking off for his wife. Well my hubbie warned him if he did it in visiting room while our daughter was there it would not be pretty. And guess where they sat the guy and his wife, RIGHT next to us. Needless to say some rather strong words from my hubbie kept the guy from doing it. TO mee that is tacky, tasteless and just plain disgusting. There are kids around and people need to think of that and the fact no one else wants to see them do intimate things, atleast I don't anyway. Sex is a very personal thing and not meant to be shared with half the freaking prison and their visitors!! My hubbie has been in for over 8 years and we can control ourselves so I know there are others who can do the same!
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Old 07-29-2003, 02:34 PM
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In Michigan, if you are accused of any type of sexual misconduct, your visitation is permanently terminated forever at any MDOC period, you are placed on a list ~ it will affect their parole, toplock punishment for inmate, there is nothing you can do, you can try and write the warden at a year of the incident, but there is no guarantee that you will ever get your visitation back if you are guilty (or not, maybe).

I would not do anything to take away my visitation at all and I know the seriousness of it all because I had mine taken away because of false accusations of sexual misconduct, and even though I was not guilty of anything, I know how it feels to have my visitation taken away period, you have no control what-so-ever over the situation, and I would not recommend it to anybody ever.
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Old 07-29-2003, 09:31 PM
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No way!! I'd be to chicken I'll just wait impatiently.....because you can only dream about how nice it will be when you get to FINALLY be alone! NO more CO's no other eyes on you! YUP! remember good things come to those who wait!! and oh boy will it be GOOD!!
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Old 07-30-2003, 05:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by irisheyes66
Oh, and as an aside....
Any man who dared attempt to "make me lie down" in public (on ANY surface) to satisfy his urges, would be cause for me to punch his ever-loving head so far up his *ss, finding a place to park his stickshift would be the last thing on his mind for a long, long time.<evil grin>
LOLOLOLOLOL 'til I choke to death... Sue, you are my hero!

As for me... nope, no way, nada. I have seen way too many horror stories about lost visits on PTO (and many where the couples weren't even doing anything, like some of the ones Teb mentioned) - I am not about to do anything to take a chance on losing my visits, and I also consider it a "respectful to others" thing. My guy feels the same.

Visitation is pretty laid back where I go and respectful shows of affection are allowed throughout, but prolonged kissing and hugging is only allowed at beginning and end of visitation and that's enough for me. My most recent visit, things got a little heated there at the end of visitation goodbyes and we might have been able to get away with a little extra something - copping a (very) quick feel or some such - but as usual we deferred (and had to muster up a LOT of control to do it, but we did). It's just not worth it, and he and I would both be devastated and miserable if we lost our visitation privileges even for a short time.

Heck, we got reprimanded two weeks ago when I had my leg crossed, in jeans, and up on the bench when we were sitting a FOOT away from each other at the time and not even touching. They could have terminated the visit right then and there if they'd felt like it, and there's plenty of stories on PTO of folks who lost their visits for things they didn't even do. I'm not taking any chances nor pushing the envelope, no way, no how.
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Old 07-30-2003, 05:53 PM
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Looking on the replies to this post, I am happy that I put this thread up. It's given me a lot to think about and what started out as a whimsical thread has helped me realize that there are serious repricusions in the rules are broken. Thanks for the eye opener! Nathan's visitation area is very down to earth and relaxed. In fact, they call his facility a "country club" compared to other's in florida!

PS. I still think it would be cool to hear funny stories to how people got/get away with stuff! <wink>


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