How do You Walk Away from An Addict?

Billy'sBabygirl · #1 06-12-2006, 02:13 PM

Many of you have read my trials and tribuals on here. As you know my boyfriend is an addict and is serving time for the second time because of his addiction.

I have also been doing counseling for Co-Dependency. And my journal and therapy has spilled in to this forum. I am so grateful for PTO.

When I go to visit my b/f, the talks are all about him, and what he wants to do and how when things are going to be when he gets out. He has yet to hit rock bottom.

I know it's not healthly for either one of us to continue in this relationship. He doesn't think I can think for myself and has gone as far as to say I base my thoughts are what the room is telling me.

I can't go back to that lifestyle.

So tell me how do you breakup with an Addict in jail?

Eternal Hope · #2 06-12-2006, 02:28 PM

Billy'sbabygirl,I know your counseling has definitely taken you down the road of knowing what co-dependency is, how not to be enabling anymore, the whole gamut of emotions when loving an addict. You have made the decision that this is not the life you want or need anymore, and that is a positive decision made for yourself. I do praise you for making the choice that THIS is the right thingfor YOU. He has not hit his rock bottom, true- from what you are saying. The best thing you can do is to go to see him if possible, and tell him you can no longer do this relationship anymore. Explain why, in as calm a way as possible ( believe me I know this will not be easy) Just tell him how you are feeling, and you have made the decision. It really has nothing to do with you following what you are getting here, your therapist has brought you to this point, so he is wrong saying you cannot think for yourself. You can and have proven that you DO think for yourself. Having a support group to vent to, is important also, and that is what we are. I am behind you in what you decide is the best you can do for YOU! I know this is not an easy for you, but in all honesty, it may be the right thing. How do you break up with an addict in jail? Honest communication is the key to anything in a relationship. I am here to support you no matter what.

**AmyLynn** · #3 06-12-2006, 05:39 PM

Walking away is hard one when I walked away I went back for a minute only to see that it was never going to change. You are doing what is best for you. I found that when I really wanted to get my point acrossed I have to stay clam and not raise my voice then they know that I'm not messing around. You are doing what is best for you. Seeing what you have seen in your relationship is not an easy thing to do. And then saying it to yourself and him is a whole another story.. Please be strong. If you cant do it face to face then do it in a letter. I think he would take you more serious if you tell him face to face.. Remember we are here for you....

Billy'sBabygirl · #4 06-13-2006, 02:12 PM

Eternal,

Thank you so much for your support!!! I was up there last Wednesday and was ready to do it. but I couldn't bring myself. I wrote him a letter and co-worker said it was to harsh.

He doesn't get support groups, but that's his problem. He doesn't get me. Which now has become mine and his problem.

I don't know how I'm gonna handle this, but I know for I have to. I'm just chicken. (damn co-dependency, always bites me in the a$$)

He goes to court tomorrow for his sentencing, maybe God will make this all the more easier for me. I know that's wrong to wish.. But I also know that as soon as he gets out he will bum $$$ to call me or get a cab to see me. And I can't have that. No matter if I break it off with him or not. He will need to see for himself that I am done.

Billy'sBabygirl · #5 06-15-2006, 10:14 AM

How's this... Rascal Flatts the chorus from PIECES....

And I don't wanna see you anymore
I'm just not that strong
I love it when you're here
But I'm better when you're gone
I'm certain that I've given
And oh how you can take
There's no use in you lookin'
There's nothin' left for you to break
Baby, please release me
Let my heart rest in pieces, in pieces

Seems fitting

Eternal Hope · #6 06-15-2006, 10:40 AM

Yes it really does... have you heard the outcome of court yet?

Billy'sBabygirl · #7 06-15-2006, 11:13 AM

They forwarded it Circuit Court. So I have a little bit more to get my courage up.

Eternal Hope · #8 06-15-2006, 02:20 PM

Whew, that is a good thing....Hugs!!!!

starting over · #9 06-22-2006, 08:10 PM

I think you know what you need to do. You love it when he is there and not using and not in trouble, but that is not something you can count on. Good luck to you. If he is not getting it now, good chance it will be too late for it to really matter. I know it did for me and my family.