I have a question .. or do I ?

Nytepassion · #1 03-29-2006, 10:49 AM

I remember standing in the hallway of my apartment ... looking at my addict crashed out in our bed (muster up a vision of your addict 'crashed in your bed or on the couch')

Let me roll this story back a bit .. so as to paint a better picture

I had made my addict move out. He was living at his brothers house. I was in my own recovery from my own 'substance/alcohol' addictions as well as my addiction to my addict.
I had let him come over ... and ended up letting him stay (this happened often in the beginning stages of my recovery) but, lessend as time went on .. I always felt much guilt and remorse after I did this .. because I knew I had betrayed myself and my direction. I used those feelings to make me stronger the next time I was faced with "to stay or not to stay" anyhow ..

Here I was .. standing there looking at his back .. as he slept comatose like .. comin' down from a binge .. and I felt sick to my stomach for being so weak and allowing him to stay .. I felt disgusted with myself because I knew I had compromised myself and my healing ... My let Go and Let God effort ...

and all of a sudden ... next thing I know .. visions of drugs and alcohol were flashing through my mind .. I could see them clear as day ...
and then a small still, but lovingly firm voice spoke to my heart and said ..
*in a manner .. not as a question, but rather a statement*
"Does he compromise his God for you"

Talk about a reality slap .. wake up call moment ... talk about being face with the undeniable truth ..
No he did not compromise his God for me ... and I resolved in my heart that I would no longer knowingly compromise my God for him.

Now .. back to the vision of the addict crashed out in your bed, his/her bed, on the couch .. where ever ... take a good long hard stare ... invision their drug(s) of choice ... think about all you've give in and up of yourself for this person and their addiction ...Think of all the times you've said No more .. only to continue to betray yourself and your own recovery .. all the compromising of yourself and your recovery ... all your let go and let God efforts ...

and let these words seep in and penetrate your heart ..

Does he/she compromise her/his God for you

Passion

Sadie80 · #2 03-29-2006, 10:52 AM

Now that's a reality check. Thanks for posting. It got the wheels in my head churning.

eiilopez · #3 03-29-2006, 11:26 AM

Thank you for this post!

Eternal Hope · #4 03-29-2006, 11:29 AM

I can visualize all of this, thanks for posting!!!!!!!

Yoosgirl · #5 03-29-2006, 05:27 PM

WOW thats about all I can say. Not there yet but I'm trying!

witchlinblue · #6 03-30-2006, 12:16 AM

Really good question to ponder on, thank you Passion. All your posts serious have me thinking, and from different angles. Much appreciated

Hugs !!

JustLisa · #7 03-30-2006, 02:32 PM

Ohhh.. that is a good one.. I am going to start printing some of these things out to carry around in my purse when I get weak and want to let my guy come back..

lullabell1979 · #8 03-30-2006, 11:07 PM

oh my how i have been doing this the last 8 weeks.... hmmm wonder if i can forgoe the addict of mine this time.... i will have to lose everything i have worked so hard for , for the past 8 years.... do i stay for my material things and compromise myself? thanks for this if and when this happens the next time i will have this thought in my head and will remember your story and i just might wake up seriously this time..... thanks so much for this post!!!!!