How much time?

Lotzaboyz · #1 06-09-2003, 01:09 PM

My sons' father was sentenced to 20-60 years, I was wondering how many others are there with loved ones looking at a long time in prison.
Also, if your loved one is a person you have children with, how do you help your children deal with the fact they may never know their father other than in a prison relationship?
I am not sure, whether or not to tell my boys where daddy is, and that they will not get to grow up with him in their lives because of his long term.
Any advice?

Jen

**Lysbeth** · #2 06-09-2003, 01:27 PM

No children, but my guy has done 13 years and is looking at 7 more (for a total of 20) unless we get lucky with the parole hearing this time...

deb · #3 06-09-2003, 01:49 PM

We've been totally honest with our kids.....

Deb

KRIS_NC · #4 06-09-2003, 01:51 PM

TERRANCE IS NOT THE FATHER OF MY KIDS, BUT THEIR FATHER IS INCARCERATED AND HE HAS BEEN OFF AND ON MOST OF THEIR LIVES AND HE HAS BEEN IN 10 WITH ANOTHER 14 OR SO TO GO THEY KNOW WHERE HE IS I AM HONEST AND TELL THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT TO KNOW

Chevygal55 · #5 06-09-2003, 01:54 PM

No children together.... Mine has done 7 1/2 on a 25~

JamesGirl · #6 06-09-2003, 03:02 PM

My man is not the father of my children. But both my kids and my man loved/love each other very much. It is hard on them all,me included, especially sinnce my kids will not be allowed to visit James while he is in prison due to the charge he was convicted of. James was sentenced to 25 yrs and has only been incarcerated for 10 months now. My childrens biological father is in prison and was sentenced to 9 years. He will be released in 3 years and my kids really haven't expressed any interest in seeing him. My kids are 13 and 11 years old and go on with everyday life as normal children do. I am sure every child reacts differently but as long as they know you are there for them they will grow up to be wonderful children. Yvonne

candy · #7 06-09-2003, 06:44 PM

My man has served 14 years in prison and is due to be released in September of this year. We have no children together, but he love my children as if they are his own and vice versa. We have been knowing each other for 20 years.

yanigirl · #8 06-10-2003, 06:53 AM

Well I am a child of an inmate. My dad went in when I was 14 and my sister was 6. He has 4 more years to do. His incarceration had more of an effect on my sister then it did me as it was not the first bid he has done in my lifetime. We had started to get close but when he left it was like oh well because I am closer to my mom. I am now a grown girl with a child of my own and when he comes home I'm not looking for a father/daughter relationship with him but a friendship. I am all raised up. My sister will be grown when he comes home as well. You basically just move on with your life is all you can do. It will be hard at times not having a father to see the milestones of your life but in time you learn to live with it. I now have a child with someone who is in prison. He is only two and can't understand where his dad is. He use to ask for him,look for him out the window, carry his picture around,and want to go see him but now he does not speak of him at all. When I ask if he wants to see daddy he screams NO. When I ask if he misses daddy he screams NO. I guess for him it's out of sight out of mind. His father will have to work hard to make up for lost times and regain a place in his heart.

Amelia · #9 06-11-2003, 03:22 PM

My suggestion to you is be honest no matter what..in the long run it will help them deal with it--if they find out you lied or kept anything from them than it will just make it hurt worse. No matter what a prison relationship is better than no relationship in my opinion--for all involved!! Good Luck and let us know if we can help you out with anything!

hitulily · #10 08-22-2005, 08:30 PM

Ask God to be your kids father.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lotzaboyz

My sons' father was sentenced to 20-60 years, I was wondering how many others are there with loved ones looking at a long time in prison.
Also, if your loved one is a person you have children with, how do you help your children deal with the fact they may never know their father other than in a prison relationship?
I am not sure, whether or not to tell my boys where daddy is, and that they will not get to grow up with him in their lives because of his long term.
Any advice?

Jen