Visitation...What to wear?

California Sunshine · #1 06-01-2003, 02:12 AM

I'm not making the trip for a few more months to Pelican Bay but was wondering what is acceptable to wear? I had planned on just jeans and a tshirt but I think I remember reading no jeans? No blouses with zippers or buttons? Any other big no-no's?

Thanks!

**Barbara** · #2 06-01-2003, 02:17 AM

Hi Marie, they will send you paperwork on the do's and don't read it and do what they say they mean business. Most of the time I go in black sweats or something with a design on it. I will look for my papers and tell you more later. Love Barbara

songbird · #3 06-02-2003, 11:42 PM

Barb, when visiting at the SHU, do you get strip-searched? If so, how invasive is it? I don't know yet if I can go. Max has not sent visiting forms, he keeps saying that he won't even let his mother or his family come to visit him while he's in the SHU. He has not had a visitor the whole 2 years he's been in there, but he says he's cool with that, and he doesn't want anyone to waste their time visiting him behind glass. He said that if I really wanted visiting forms he would send them to me, but I keep forgetting to reply to that, so, so far I have not received them from him. Do you have any insight as to why someone would not want anyone to visit them while they are in SHU? I talked to his mother, and sure enough, she says the same thing - he won't send her the forms for her or his sons or anyone, he prefers that no one waste their time or their money to visit him for 2 hours behind glass. And he is very close to his sons, they visited him all the time at other facilities. Is he just really being nice to everyone, considering it a waste of our time and money for only 2 hours with glass separating us? Or is there some other reason for not wanting visitors that you could think of?

Joanna · #4 06-03-2003, 03:54 AM

Hello!
I hope this helps a little although Barbara is the best person when it comes to visitation.

I visited my fiancé in Jan this year and I’m flying over to the states to see him again in August.

I spoke to some of the other visitors there who have loved ones also in the SHU and I have never heard of anyone get striped searched.

You go in up to the reception desk, fill in a slip and give your ID then sit down until your name is called, you then take off shoes and walk through a metal detector. And that’s it!

When I first went which I mentioned before they wouldn’t allow a black and white shirt I had on because it was to low. There is a hospitality place that has a play area for children and a room with donated clothes within the grounds, I had to get picked up to go there and get a donated sweater I was about 15 mins late but they still got me on a bus and drove me to the SHU bay.

What I do now to be on the safe side is go all in black with high-necked sweaters, as Barbara mentioned they mean business when it comes to correct dress and believe me although I’m so grateful to the people that run the hospitality service it was a real nightmare and I lost time off my visit.

Good luck with everyone’s visits! For me the hassle and draining feeling after the visit is really worth it!

JDay · #5 06-03-2003, 10:53 AM

If you're visiting in general population, the basic rules are...
no blue jeans
no khaki's
(the rationale is that if there's trouble, they don't want to "confuse" a visitor with a prisoner or guard, so nothing that might be mistaken for those uniforms)
nothing low cut
no sleeveless tops (they figure he can reach in and fondle you..tsk tsk)
nothing too short (I think the rule is 2 inches above the knee max, but I have a friend who keeps getting sent home because they basically don't like the way her skirt/dress looks or fits her, even though it meets the minimum length)
no see-through anything
I'm with Barb - I pretty much stick to the three outfits I have that I know pass inspection - all pink or purple or black, and all covered up. The Hospitality House really is a godsend, and although you may end up with a pretty wierd looking outfit, at least you get in. I was visiting my son in Folsom one time and was turned away for having sandels on (no backs on the shoes in case I had to run for it...ha) and ended up with my big old size 11 feet with a pair of men's slippers, size 13 or so. Very attractive with my carefully chosen fuscia outfit! And how they figured I could run in those but not in my own shoes is anyone's guess. Logic does not apply in this case either!
Good luck!
- Jane

JDay · #6 06-03-2003, 11:20 AM

Just thought of a couple of other things...
no underwire bras! They set off the metal detector, and you'd think I'd remember after all this time, but still had to go into the rest room and rip out that offending wire recently! I keep a special no-wire bra just for visiting - now if I could only remember to bring it every time - and wear it! Also, you'll have to take off any jewelry that sets the thing off, and any bobby pins or clips in your hair will have to be removed until after you clear the detector. (I stopped wearing my hair up after the first time...spend all that time getting it just right and end up having to stuff it back up there on your way in to visiting.) I guess it just goes to show you how creative some visitors can be if they are intent on smuggling something in.
- Jane (again)

**Barbara** · #7 06-03-2003, 07:45 PM

You guy did a good job answering the question what do you need me for? I should be getting visiting package soon and when I do I will post all the correct wear for the SHU and the main pop if they send it. I remember lockers there in case you bring in the wrong stuff and want to store it. Love Barbara

California Sunshine · #8 06-03-2003, 11:44 PM

Thanks everyone! How does beige ankle length pants no pockets and a brown short sleeved sweater sound? I'm wracking my brain thinking of everything in my closet that is conservitive and may be appropriate! LOL I guess I shouldn't worry until it gets closer and I see the official list.I just don't want to get turned away for any reason!

Oh can your slacks have zippers/buttons on them?

Joanna · #9 06-04-2003, 03:52 AM

Imarie,
My trousers/slacks had a zip and also the designers logo on the ass pocket it was like a metal thing and that didnt go off!

JDay · #10 06-04-2003, 11:12 AM

I don't know about those beige slacks...a picky guard could say it was too close to the khaki of the guard uniforms and shuffle you off to Hospitality House. A brown, short sleeved shirt should be fine. (No black pants in that closet?)
- Jane

California Sunshine · #11 06-04-2003, 06:52 PM

None that fit anymore JDay LOL

Looks like I'll have a reason to buy some! Haha

JDay · #12 06-04-2003, 07:27 PM

Songbird - I just re-read your post asking why someone would not want visitors while he is in the SHU. Yesterday I read the 8 section essay (for want of a better word) about what it's really like on the inside, and one of the things he said was that for some of the men, visits upset the carefully constructed routine they establish for themselves that makes their days all run together - no one different than another - which makes the time pass more quickly. Sounds like he's willing to see you, though, so it sure is hard to explain. Maybe his mom cries when she goes and it hurts him to see? Maybe he just wants to smash his way through that glass everytime someone he loves is on the other side? Maybe you'd better ask him to share some more of his feelings about it, so you can understand. Hard question, Bird - I wish you luck in figuring it out.
- Jane

JDay · #13 06-04-2003, 07:29 PM

Funny you should say that IMarie...I've got those same black pants in my closet!!!! LOL

flygirlaa2 · #14 06-04-2003, 08:35 PM

Just don't forget to wear that smile.

California Sunshine · #15 06-04-2003, 10:06 PM

That I will have Fly,it still fits LOL