apology from my ex - anyone else in that situation ?

IMISSUMYDARLIN · #1 11-08-2005, 08:21 PM

I just got a phone call from my ex boy friend and he said that he had to call all of the people that he hurt while on drugs and apologize to them for hurting them. I did not know what to do because part of me thinks that when he gets out he will go back to the same thing but part of me wants to believe that he really means it. Just wondering if anyone has had to deal with the same thing......

misizhorne · #2 11-08-2005, 08:27 PM

I have not went threw a situation like urs, but i wanted to say if not anything else i think u should be a friend...maybe thats all he needs is to know someone is there with faith that he will do right. good luck

witchlinblue · #3 11-09-2005, 09:07 AM

It is part of the 12 step program really. Some people go as far as to do that and make the calls. Some just pray that the people will forgive them. Some write letters, my husband did. Im assuming he is in AA or NA program if he did this and if so, it wouldnt be abnormal, he is working threw the steps and trying to correct his faults in the past which is a positive thing and not something to be worried about but proud of.

If he is not in the 12 step program then you need to ask him more questions.

Im going to move this to the addiction forum where you will probably get more feedback from people who have experienced this.

Shelby · #4 11-09-2005, 11:17 AM

Step 9) Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

If he is sincerely working the program, this is a big step. If he’s not sincerely working a program it is a manipulation tactic. Look for actions instead on relying on words. What he says from prison, he might very well mean, at the time. Whether he can take his recovery out to the streets, well, only time will tell. Hopefully, his prison experience has taught him that his best thinking has gotten him where he is. And in turn he has admitted he was powerless, and has surrendered to a strict program of recovery so as not to repeat past behaviors. The program is about humbleness, rigorous honesty, and service work. I would remain cautiously optimistic.

lilangel4eva · #5 11-09-2005, 11:29 AM

i to am going through this. problem is a know deep down inside that it is part of a
manipulation tactis cause hes not working a program. he will be home in 12 days and says he dosent have a plan for his life and the only way he will go to meetins is if he has to. i wish u the best of luck and hope he is telling u the truth and that he is really working a program