Couseling before marriage

CREAMYALMONDZ · #1 05-09-2002, 01:23 PM

Steven sent me a memorandum from the prison today about getting married in prison. The chaplain there says that he wants anyone who wants him to perform the marriage has to go through one year of counseling. I wonder if it's to say "have you lost your damn mind?" or something like that. It's a really good idea, I need someone to talk to before this, but one year? It's cool though.

love muffin · #2 05-09-2002, 01:28 PM

They probably look at the situation and think if after a year you are still committed to marrying someone in prison then the chances of it working out may be better.

Amelia · #3 05-09-2002, 01:34 PM

Leonda-I believe that being married is also a a state of mind-not just a piece of paper...When Stephen and I were 16 we stood outside my house and vowed our love to eachother and pricked our fingers (like becoming "blood brothers" when you were kids) and since that day we have considered ourselves bound together for life...so hang in there..counseling can't hurt right? Might make your relationship stronger--do you get to go to the counseling together? If so consider it an extra time to see eachother to boot!

HEy lovemuffin-I just noticed your lil cat picture makes a bubble and rolls its eyes and I think it just stuck it's tongue out at me...hahaha!!

CREAMYALMONDZ · #4 05-09-2002, 01:44 PM

I do like the idea of talking with someone, especially someone who works in the prison and know how everything works. I don't know if we'll have sessions together, that would be good though. I would like to hear their point of view. It's like free pre-marriage counseling. One session a month for twelve months which is pretty good.

torrey · #5 05-09-2002, 02:27 PM

I know that my step sister went through classes/ counsleing through thier church for 1 year before they got married. This was a Catholic wedding and the Priest required it to all he married. This was a not prsion related at all but just the normal religious procedure for the church. I think it did good because they have a good stable marrige now for over 18 years.

sherri13 · #6 05-09-2002, 03:49 PM

COUNSELING IS A GOOD IDEA IMO--REAL LOVE LAST A LOT LONGER THAN A YEAR, WITH OR WITHOUT A MARRIAGE LICENSE

Daveswife · #7 05-09-2002, 05:22 PM

It is a good idea. Specially under the circumstances. I think you'll both get alot out of it.

jdswifey02 · #8 05-09-2002, 06:16 PM

I am very biased in favor of counseling (being a counselor and all...

) I also think it is very cool that a prison offers the service for free!! Take advantage!! (and hope it is GOOD counseling...

) A year does sound like a long time when you are in love and anxious.... but a year in preparation for a lifetime kind of puts it in perspective....

Shortie · #9 05-09-2002, 08:12 PM

the one yr of counseling is a standard christian practice. Anthony and I did it but it was via mail trust me it is well worth it. IF it is ment to be it will be...

Shan & Kev · #10 05-10-2002, 08:07 AM

HI Leonda

I just wanted to let you know that they do this couselling thing up here in Canada too before they will perform a marriage. IMO, It can only help you to get to know each other and yourselves better and to realize what you can give and what you expect to receive in a commited relationship. We were told we would both get booklets to complete, the Priest than has us complete one together, we receive some couples couselling beforehand and then we can be married. It probably takes 6 months to a year for that all to be done.
I think couselling is a great idea, and am actually looking forward to finding out the differences and similarities in how we answer some of the questions.

You take care

Shannon

CREAMYALMONDZ · #11 06-03-2002, 11:02 AM

It's a good idea to do the counseling though, it's best to know what to expect, etc.

CARLAxoxoxTODD · #12 06-03-2002, 11:16 AM

I'm such an impatient person...I think counseling is a good idea...but a year? I'd end up eloping!

Budwoman · #13 06-03-2002, 11:32 AM

LEONDA:

IT IS A LOT EASIER TO GET MARRIED THAN IT IS TO GET A DIVORCE NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU... ALSO, THE DIVORCE CAUSES A LOT OF HEARTACHE FOR BOTH PARTIES...

YES, THE COUNSELING IS A GREAT THING. IT IS WONDERFUL TO HAVE PRE MARITAL COUNSELING WHETHER IT BE IN PRISON OR OUT OF IT.... MARRIAGE SHOULD BE FOREVER. IF THAT IS THE CASE, THEN WE REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING AND WHY.....

MY LOVE AND PRAYERS GO WITH YOU BOTH.

DONNA

aprilcat · #14 06-03-2002, 11:45 AM

it takes a one year seperation period in nc before you can get divorced just so both parties are "sure". i think if that same year waiting period were required for marriages, the divorce rate would plummet! honey, take the year and the counseling! if you all are truely ready for marriage, you'll be even more ready in a year. and, as amelia said, marriage is a state of mind much more than a piece of paper. *hugs*

CREAMYALMONDZ · #15 06-03-2002, 01:01 PM

I feel the same way Carla. You guys are right about it being easy to get in but hard to get out of. Marriages these days don't last like the way God intended them to.