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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #76  
Old 01-07-2011, 12:43 PM
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Well folks I am back! My ex and I are now on decent terms again and I have decided to support him as a friend now that he is back in and doing a very long bid.Is it the right choice? I am not sure but it is one I needed/wanted to make so here I am!!! Wow reading through some of my old posts in here is tough!
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  #77  
Old 05-07-2011, 08:04 AM
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I wasn't ever going to be in this forum.. our relationship was going to be Wonderful when he got out. We had a son together early on in his sentence (conjugals), and I was pregnant with our daughter when he was released.
He had stayed out of trouble almost the whole 12 years we were together, had worked a lot of job programs & recieved commendation certificates from them. He had a plan to get a handy Man business going. He got a job framing houses within 6 weeks of release & started up his Handy Man business on the side & was doing well with it.
I didn't know he had a drug addiction & a drinking problem.. until it had taken over his life. Things got pretty bad with him not coming home nights, he lost his job, the money all started to disappear, and he was having memory issues. I didn't want to give up on him, I didn't want our kids to grow up without their father...
But the night he admitted it was drugs & used in the house..and admitted he had used in the house before, and the just enough to get him thru the weekend until Monday when he could go to rehab turned into a second amount & begging for a third amount after that was gone... I KNEW I HAD to get him out. I had to get the kids out & I had to be safe.
He was removed from the home on a Sunday morning, after he'd passed out from using. He was arrested for assault & robbery (several counts) by that Tuesday.
I tried to reconcile, feeling guilty through the holidays (he was arrested the day our son started school). He lied about going to AA .. behind bars & still lying...
I filed for divorce..on Valentine's Day.
I am starting to feel a lot lighter in spirit...
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  #78  
Old 05-07-2011, 11:01 AM
agarciahtx713 agarciahtx713 is offline
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Default When a relationship is over.

Hi, my name is Ashley. I was involved in a car accident with my boyfriend of 5yrs. back in 9/2006. In this accident OUR best friend passed away and my boyfriend (who I will identify as J) was charged with intoxicated manslaughter and given a 12 yr. sentence in 8/2007. During those 11 months for trial and rehabilitation from the accident J seldom visited or called... I receieved only 3 visits while in the hospital. 3 months after my release from the hospital J finally wanted to talk face to face. He explained how he was scared and confused which I could understand... and still in love... gave him another chance and told him I would stand by his side during pretrail and sentence. 12 yrs. was unbelieveable... but I stayed as strong as I could, and have stated by his side... we have went through 3 set offs of 1 yr. and waiting for him to come back up for parole in December 2011. This last set off in December 2010 was really devestating... due to the year being a ruff one for me... after long discussion and thought... i have came to conclusion that this relationship was being based on us being so used to being with eachother than true love. I was always getting accused of things that were NOT EVEN close to what was going on, on this side of the fence... I gave J a second chance after he ran out on me during the time i NEEDED him the most.... I wish things would have turned out different. And he will always have a place in my heart. I wish him the best in his life.
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Old 05-07-2011, 11:06 AM
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Brooks - I'm so sorry things had to crash like that! You really had a great hope, great plans. It's agony to lose that.
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  #80  
Old 05-22-2011, 02:10 AM
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Default Met someone new while my husband serving time

My husband has been in prison almost 5 years we have to kids together. i raised them alone. It was hard I struggle a lot. On the fourth year I met someone else. He helped me out so much it was like a huge weight off my shoulders He loves my kids. I feel so sad because I did love my husband he is a good dad. But I'm not in love with him anymore I didn't plan for this to happen. Everyone is mad at me. But what did they expect? I have needs too. well that's my situation as of now. thanks for hearing me out
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  #81  
Old 09-12-2011, 03:09 PM
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Exclamation my husband is in prion for 15 years will serve half of that

my name is maragret am from london uk

my husband is in prion for 15 years will serve half of that
he will be out after 7 and half years he spend 2 yeras so far
my family tell when he get out he wont love me any more everyday i feel sad i been with he 8 years now and 3 children with he what do u think i really love him and i dont dare ask him this my self i little shy to ask him on phone i dont see him very much i looking after his mum in egypt as very old and very sick i really miss some day i cry my self to sleep over him and some time i sit and cry
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  #82  
Old 10-05-2011, 06:43 AM
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Hi my name is mari and joined pto after typing in a search men who lie and it brought me here whs more intresting I'm currently with a inmate who I sarted writing in feb. Funny how all the red flags go up but don't knw how to let go I just keep saying how can I hurt him I know there is no future for us and I knew that frm the start when meeting him I was coming out of a relaionship and was very lonnley my ex decided to go bk to his wife I was hurt this inmate gave me what I was lacking at the time he did more for me than anyone out here had but now I've seen to become needy and co dependent but I recognize the. Signsand. The behavior I'm battling with this but I know I'm worth so much more than this kind o relationship disfunctional is comfort to. Secure change brings fear thagt nobody will luv me again
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  #83  
Old 02-20-2013, 05:00 PM
rainweaver2002 rainweaver2002 is offline
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Hi, my name's Jessica. My story's in MWI intros but I'll put a condensed version here.

I'd met Mike where we worked together. The company I worked at had a contract or whatever with the local work camp. Things were great for a few months but then red flags started flying from all directions. When I lost my dad in September 2012, he wasn't comforting; he talked about all the things he wanted me to replace for him before he got out. He started freaking out about everything during every call and letter. In October, I'd finally had enough and told him not to write or call me anymore and explained why. About a week after he got the letter, I found out that he begged his wife to give him another chance. I wished her luck and have left it at that.
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  #84  
Old 04-23-2013, 12:28 AM
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Well babe first wrote back Feb 2011 while he was in the hole with the homie GE. And it took a while before I wrote back. When I did we seemed very in tuned with one another. But the first red flag was 2 woman fighting over him on his mother's fb page. It was over a year back so I let it slide with his explanations. Then he sent me a visitors form and he couldn't wait to see me. It was bliss at first. He made it seem like we were on a journey together and he helped me become more positive. I do tend to see things negatively and he did use that against me to say I wasn't giving him a chance when I would question different things that happened. But then I went thru some health issues, had 2 surgeries and in Nov 2012 I went to see him for Thanksgiving. That was the beginning of the end.
Issues with his mother and "sister" who I found out is really his wife or one of them. FB drama. And he is not the man who I thought he was. I had a hard time during my health crisis but today it seems God has released me.
I kinda thought it was too good to be true, but then that's how I tend to think about stuff, always seeing the glass half empty. Babe did help me to see things in a more positive way and to strive to live my life to the fullest and I thank him for that. Love you more babe.
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  #85  
Old 08-08-2013, 10:22 AM
SweetCyn SweetCyn is offline
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Hello Everyone,
I'm not sure I am where I'm suppose to be at too post. I have read a lot of the stories here and feel for each and everyone. I am in a relationship with a guy that has been out of jail almost three years, was in for 16 this last time. I am at a loss of how to find his compassion, prison took this. We dated 2 1/2 years before marriage and have been married 4 months, I cry daily, perhaps hourly, my once outgoing self is gone. How do you get a person to have feelings, NORMAL life feelings? I have read everything I can get my hands on to ease him into a normal life style. He has porn issues, woman issues period, woman still writing from prison, the list goes on and on, I guess you really do not know a person till you live with them. I am not to speak of how I feel, desires, affection or tenderness, if I do I am just starting a fight. I pray daily, but I am to the point of walking away. Good lord, I just needed to talk to someone that has had issues with a ex prisoner and their games/cons/no feelings or emotions. Sigh!!! There has to be something in him, I love him.

Cyn
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  #86  
Old 08-17-2013, 12:13 AM
KC'sDiamond KC'sDiamond is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetCyn View Post
Hello Everyone,
I'm not sure I am where I'm suppose to be at too post. I have read a lot of the stories here and feel for each and everyone. I am in a relationship with a guy that has been out of jail almost three years, was in for 16 this last time. I am at a loss of how to find his compassion, prison took this. We dated 2 1/2 years before marriage and have been married 4 months, I cry daily, perhaps hourly, my once outgoing self is gone. How do you get a person to have feelings, NORMAL life feelings? I have read everything I can get my hands on to ease him into a normal life style. He has porn issues, woman issues period, woman still writing from prison, the list goes on and on, I guess you really do not know a person till you live with them. I am not to speak of how I feel, desires, affection or tenderness, if I do I am just starting a fight. I pray daily, but I am to the point of walking away. Good lord, I just needed to talk to someone that has had issues with a ex prisoner and their games/cons/no feelings or emotions. Sigh!!! There has to be something in him, I love him.

Cyn
Love is not supposed to hurt sweetie. The first step to healing is to remember who you were before he came into the picture, out going and happy. When you are in love that other person is supposed to complete you, what you lack they are supposed to support and vice versa, not having it to be one sides. A relationship cannot be based on one person giving all of the time especially emotionally because its going to make you sick and steal all of your energy. You supported him during his time, and pretty much did the time with him, now you are doing time in your own home because you are uncomfortable and walking on eggshells. And as far as him getting help he has to want it, yes prison is a hard place but it doesn't give anyone an excuse to treat people that support you and loved you through this, this way. The only way a person can steal you compassion is if you allow it. I promise you if you treated him half the way that he treats you he will change his ways sometimes its so easy to mistreat the ones who love us most. But wipe your tears, take a deep breath and breathe my dear and remember who you are "A Goddess"...


A goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself. She is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light. She is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her. She is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her, the sacred places that can nurture her soul and make her whole. She is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic. She walks into a room and male and female alike feel her presence. She has power and softness at the same time. She has powerful sexual energy thatís not dependent on physical looks. She has a body that she adores and it shows by the way she comfortably lives and moves in it. She cherishes beauty, light and love. She is a mother to all children. She flows with life in effortless grace. She can heal with a look or a touch of the hand. She is fiercely sensual and fearlessly erotic and engages in sex as her way to share with another in touching the divine. She is compassion and wisdom. She is seeker of Truth and cares deeply about something bigger than herself. She is a woman who knows that her purpose in life is to reach higher and rule with love. She is woman in love with love. She knows that joy is her destiny and by embracing it and sharing it with others, wounds are healed. She is a woman who has come to know that her partner is as tender, lost, and frightened as she has been at times. She has come to understand the scars of the boy in him and knows that together, love can be the relief, the healing of their wounds. She is a woman who can accept herself as she is. She can accept another as they are. She is able to forgive her mistakes and not feel threatened by anotherís even when attacked. She is a woman who can ask for help when she needs it or give help when asked. She respects boundaries, hers and anotherís. She can see God in anotherís eyes. She can see God in her own. She can see God in every life situation. She is woman who takes responsibility for everything she creates in her life. She is a woman who is totally supportive and giving. She is a GoddessÖ"-Unknown
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