Has anyone married their pen-pal?

JodyAnnShaw · #1 02-19-2003, 11:06 AM

I've been married once before, and it ended in a heart-wrenching divorce in 1999. Since that day, I've always said that I'd never get married again, that it just wasn't worth it.

Well, over a year ago Dale came into my life. I love him more than I ever thought possible. My views have changed... from I'll never get married again, to if I 'ever' do get married again, it would be to Dale!

Thing is, Dale and I fell in love through letters and phone calls, and that's it. I haven't even had a visit YET! I guess I've just gotten my curiosity up, and was wondering if anyone here has married their 'love' before even meeting them face to face?

Jodygirl

Chevygal55 · #2 02-19-2003, 11:24 AM

Yes I did and I am sure there are many more that have....

Beck

Menally-Ill · #3 02-19-2003, 11:26 AM

Ummm... I HOPE TO!

Jody, a few years ago, I would have thought this was the craziest thing anyone could ever do.

BUT! (One's wisdom grows.)

I have a lot of elderly patients at work, who tell me their beautiful love stories, of how this soldier in a trench on the killing fields of Europe got a letter from a girl they never knew, and it brought them HOPE in the midst of hell. After the war, they married, and are STILL married.

When you begin a relationship by WRITING, you are not faced with "the sex question", as you are when you are dating. After the 3rd or 4th date, up comes the question of whether or not to "take the relationship to the next level".

When you are writing, especially if it starts out as a friendship, you have time and opportunity to explore each other's souls, philosophies, minds etc. All things that are much more condusive to a long-term FRIENDSHIP!

Take it from an old aldy, my dear Jodygirl. You should ONLY ever marry your BEST FRIEND, not the hottest guy!

All My Love,
Menolly

(Oh, my God! I'm giving old-matchmaking-granny advice. Mr. Connor! What have you done to me!!!)

Emilios heart · #4 02-19-2003, 11:33 AM

YES is the answer to your question. I ewas married yesterday! I was married once back in 87 and divorced in 90. I met Emilio through a penpal site here on the internet back in Sept. In Nov. we met for the first time. Yesterday we got married...

good luck to you whatever you decide to you.
Patty

Menally-Ill · #5 02-19-2003, 11:34 AM

EEK, Patti!

Congratulations! You should have told us, so we could have made a fuss of joy, about it!

All Our Love,
Menolly and Ken

lulu · #6 02-19-2003, 11:48 AM

I would like to know as well. I mean, I WAS in that same baot, never even got to see or here kenneth's voice, i was alwasy wonderding if others were in that same boat that fell in love with them like that. i would like to hear your input

JodyAnnShaw · #7 02-19-2003, 11:49 AM

Congrats to you, Patty!!! I am sooo very happy for you!!!!

And thank you all for your input.... Menolly, what you said about the soldiers, and hope.. it really touched me!

Jodygirl

Menally-Ill · #8 02-19-2003, 12:22 PM

Oh Jody, You should meet these people! They are such an inspiration to me.

I have one Canadian patient, now 90 years old, dying of cancer. He was wounded in 1944, and in a hospital in South Africa. Got a generic letter from a girl in Australia, addressed to "Dear Wounded Soldier". He wrote her back. She actually visited him in hospital, where he was for almost a year. Then she went back to Australia. He came back to Canada. And they MISSED each other keenly! SO keenly, he tracked her down through the Red Cross. They met in Italy, married, returned to Canada, and now 59 YEARS LATER, are still madly in love!

I KNOW these two people, and I LOVE them. They told me, to go ahead and love Ken, despite never having met him face to face!

I also know OTHER such old soldiers, and their astounding love stories.

People such as these sure make me wish we would listen to our elders more often, instead of warehousing them in nursing homes, and forgetting they exist!

My elderly patients add to my wisdom ALL THE TIME!

All My Love,
Menolly

KRIS_NC · #9 02-20-2003, 06:22 AM

CONGRATS PATTI AND JODY GIRL,ME AND TERRANCE HAVE YET TO HAVE A VISIT ITS JUST BEEN LETTERS,BUT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

flygirlaa2 · #10 02-20-2003, 06:55 AM

Menolly, amen on the old folks home. Our current views of life belonging to the young has led us to almost chaos. We need to learn how to respect and value age and the wisdom that comes with it.

JodyAnnShaw · #11 02-22-2003, 12:54 AM

Oh Kris... no congrats YET! lol....

We're talking about it... hmmm....
(I'll have to post something about what happens come Monday...) That's when I'll talk to Dale!

Jodygirl

jovelle · #12 02-23-2003, 12:53 AM

OH Jodygirl! I'm so glad you asked that question! I've been wondering the same thing-and wondering if I'm just crazy! lol
I'm really new here and came tonight looking for the answer to that very question-just not knowing how to ask it! jSo thank you very much and I hope you and Dale are deliriously ( or however you spell it!) happy with each other!

Monica

shalove · #13 02-23-2003, 01:42 AM

naw we met while he was in the county and plan to get married within the next few months

**Ken** · #14 02-23-2003, 05:43 AM

Jody,

You know... I already consider myself 'married' to my Partner. We met as pen pals and grew such an incredible friendship like I had never had before. Our love grew out of the friendship and I would not trade that love or friendship for anything. On the outside we make our judgments and base a lot of our 'romantic' feelings on pure physical attraction. This never entered the picture for us. To be honest, I would have walked right past my Partner in the outside world and never given him a second look! Not that he is not attractive but but based on pure physical attraction, I just would not have pursued - not my 'type' kind of reaction. Now, he is the most beautiful person to me in every way, but it started with a bond of friendship where the 'looks' did not matter.

As Menolly said - marry your best friend not the hottest guy!

To me now... My Partner is my best friend, my confident, my spiritual guide, and the hottest guy! He is my world.

What I also know is that I will not lose no matter what happens... If for some reason, the two of us don't make it 'romantically' in the future - we will always be friends. I KNOW that this man will always be in my life and important to my life because of the strength of bond that we have. So I cannot lose...

Regardless of whether we will ever be able to legally construct a 'union' between us, we are 'married' already in our hearts and that is all that counts.

JodyAnnShaw · #15 02-23-2003, 02:29 PM

Oh Teb.. that was just beautiful!

Hehehe Monica.. I'm glad my own curiosity helped you out too!

Jodygirl