Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Raising Children with Parents in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-09-2012, 05:35 PM
he_is_missed's Avatar
he_is_missed he_is_missed is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sacramento!
Posts: 2,036
Thanks: 0
Thanked 335 Times in 287 Posts
Default Being spoiled at visits

ok I understand that my fiancée wants to make our daughter happy because he only sees her about once a month but at the last visit it REALLY started to bother me how much he was spoiling her!! I had to voice my concerns a FEW times before he realized that I was actually getting upset. I expect my daughter to behave in a certain way and of course she isn't allowed to eat certain things but ALL of that went out the window!! I mean she hit her dad numerous times and he laughed it off (NOT ok with me) and he gave her candy and ice cream and SODA! if he was at home he would NEVER tolerate these things (he practically raised his niece) and its just hard because he just wants her to love him and be happy the entire time were there but I do believe that consistency is always important...sigh...we haven't really got a chance to talk about it yet but I'm just wondering how others have approached this or if I'm just being a "party pooper" as he called me. ugh.
__________________

MR. AND MRS. KIDD
SEPTEMBER 15, 2012
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 06-09-2012, 08:53 PM
brooks's Avatar
brooks brooks is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: RI
Posts: 3,546
Thanks: 578
Thanked 1,145 Times in 679 Posts
Default

No, you're right. There HAVE to be limits.

When my ex went back to prison, I let a lot of things slide for a while. It's taken a while to get back in "shape" with the rules.

It's probably ok to bend a little as there usually isn't a huge selection of food there, but ...
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-10-2012, 12:35 AM
hiswife1014's Avatar
hiswife1014 hiswife1014 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Reno,NV
Posts: 386
Thanks: 3
Thanked 122 Times in 85 Posts
Default

My hubby does the same, and im like you no candy or soda (or very little an rarely). He also lets her slap him in the face and punch him...but when i look at them they both have the biggest most beautiful smiles. And for those few hours i see a REAL happy family, so i let it go. It makes me teary eyed every time. Enjoy it while you can , as long as u know things would be different if he were home thats all that matters.
__________________
M.S.J




Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to hiswife1014 For This Useful Post:
WorriedSis7 (06-13-2012)
  #4  
Old 06-12-2012, 07:40 AM
he_is_missed's Avatar
he_is_missed he_is_missed is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sacramento!
Posts: 2,036
Thanks: 0
Thanked 335 Times in 287 Posts
Default

thanks for the replies ladies! I think it was more the behavior than the food..because I swear for about two days after the visit she didn't listen worth a damn!!! idk how to really get through to him that it makes my life more difficult when he let's her get away just everything..idk maybe I'll just let it go for now and wait until the next visit and see how it goes
__________________

MR. AND MRS. KIDD
SEPTEMBER 15, 2012
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-13-2012, 04:08 PM
Mrs. Happy's Avatar
Mrs. Happy Mrs. Happy is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 679
Thanks: 292
Thanked 415 Times in 228 Posts
Default

I deal with this too. I keep telling my husband not so much candy and soda but he does not listen. He totally ignores me!! I told my mom and she said just let him he is trying to bond with his daughter and that's his way of doing it. Plus if that's the only time she eats candy don't worry about it. I know how you feel though. It is soo fustrating. I know he feels bad for not being there for her so he gives her whatever she wants. Plus in the beginning our daughter was soo mean to him and she is now finally warming up to him. I know for my daughter the soda and the candy make her act up because she is all hyped up on sugar....
__________________


Last edited by Mrs. Happy; 06-13-2012 at 04:11 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-15-2012, 09:25 PM
JennCamp's Avatar
JennCamp JennCamp is offline
Shane's Wife for Life
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 141
Thanks: 2
Thanked 53 Times in 37 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Happy
I deal with this too. I keep telling my husband not so much candy and soda but he does not listen. He totally ignores me!! I told my mom and she said just let him he is trying to bond with his daughter and that's his way of doing it. Plus if that's the only time she eats candy don't worry about it. I know how you feel though. It is soo fustrating. I know he feels bad for not being there for her so he gives her whatever she wants. Plus in the beginning our daughter was soo mean to him and she is now finally warming up to him. I know for my daughter the soda and the candy make her act up because she is all hyped up on sugar....
My husband is the same way: i think he figures he's already the 'badguy' for bring locked up, he's not going to take candy away from them. I just let it go, its not too big of a deal for me. I can try but dont get far. Even art home, if there is something they want MOM makes them work for it, extra chores or something, they try to get slick and email dad, or put a little bug in his ear on the phone...trying to be tricky..those tunes i dont stand for, i win in the end on those. But i know when they try, not very sneaky wheny husband says, babe why dont you let the boys have this video game or babe he really should have these shoes, he is a horrible liar...it usually starts with...i was thinking and.....whatever i wont fall for that. I am the only female here, already out numbered...so i wont give it too easy. But at visits, they get their way.
__________________
Jennifer [COLOR="rgb(244, 164, 96)"]and Jimmy 'Shane' Edmonds
Together [COLOR="rgb(72, 209, 204)"]Forever
[/color][/color]
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:01 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics