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  #1  
Old 05-20-2013, 12:59 PM
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MsingHim MsingHim is offline
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Unhappy So many questions but don't know where to turn for answers

So I am new here. My husband was sentenced for possibly two years recently I have so many questions but don't know where to go for answers. How and when do you find out if they can get out early? How could this happen? How am I going to make it emotionally? So many questions with no answers.

I know I'm not the only one but I feel like I'm on the verge of a major breakdown....
Missing Him Terribly
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Old 05-20-2013, 02:02 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
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Welcome to Prison Talk. A couple of PTO forums that will be helpful are the prison forum where he will be doing his time. If NC, it's here.
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=68

and the Husbands in prison forum too.
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=44

Different prison systems have different rules for things like good time reductions in sentences, other activities that can earn additional time off, parole, probation, release to a half way house, etc., so you need to find out what all of that could mean to your husband. As you understand what will actually happen, your stress level will decline.

Be sure to take care of yourself first, your husband will need your strength. Always remember that it will end, and he will be home again soon.
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Old 05-20-2013, 05:17 PM
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I am going thru the same thing. He just left days ago & it hurts. I don't know the specifics for your state. Make sure you go to the forum for North Carolina as you will find a lot of helpful info for that. As for the emotional. One day at a time. Some days will be better than others. If you need to cry then cry. If you need to vent then do it. Just try & remember 2 years may seem like an eternity but it will come and he will be home. Be strong & when you need to talk come here.
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Old 05-20-2013, 05:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsingHim View Post
So I am new here. My husband was sentenced for possibly two years recently I have so many questions but don't know where to go for answers. How and when do you find out if they can get out early? How could this happen? How am I going to make it emotionally? So many questions with no answers.

I know I'm not the only one but I feel like I'm on the verge of a major breakdown....
Missing Him Terribly

I wish i could help you i'm in the same boat!
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Old 05-20-2013, 05:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsingHim View Post
So I am new here. My husband was sentenced for possibly two years recently I have so many questions but don't know where to go for answers. How and when do you find out if they can get out early? How could this happen? How am I going to make it emotionally? So many questions with no answers.

I know I'm not the only one but I feel like I'm on the verge of a major breakdown....
Missing Him Terribly
One day at a time is how you do it and sometimes one moment at a time. This is NOT an easy journey and it takes strong individuals to walk our paths. We can either rise above the shitty situation, or we can allow it to break us down. It really is a choice as to whether you have serenity through this deal. You will have good days and bad days, try to have more good than bad.

I am certain your mans time will be less stressful if he knows you are strong, confident and taking care of yourself. If he knows or hears that you are moping around being depressed, he will be stressed and it can make his sentence even worse than it already is, so pick yourself up, set some personal goals, get set up to receive his calls, write a lot of letters and visit when you can.

The most important thing is to not stop living your life because he is incarcerated, surround yourself with loving positive people and don't watch the calendar. Go and do fun things, be good to yourself.

I wish you a smooth and speedy two years. Trust me, it will go by quicker than you know. It seems like forever right now, but you will be here posting in the "coming home" or "now that your loved one is home" forums before you know it.

Usually, they get some kind of good time...but that is to be determined by whether they are in good standing, do not get into any trouble or have any issues. Sometimes, it is stated on their sentencing papers whether they are eligible or not. He can also ask his counselor.

Peace~
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Old 05-20-2013, 05:58 PM
Babyslittlemama Babyslittlemama is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsingHim View Post
So I am new here. My husband was sentenced for possibly two years recently I have so many questions but don't know where to go for answers. How and when do you find out if they can get out early? How could this happen? How am I going to make it emotionally? So many questions with no answers.

I know I'm not the only one but I feel like I'm on the verge of a major breakdown....
Missing Him Terribly

Welcome, this is a really good place to start. I'm right at the end of our two years and where you now are right now-- seems in some ways like yesterday and in some ways like a million years ago.

Let me just say, you will handle it --or you will find you can't.... either way is Ok. But the hardest thing I have to say is never give up hope and never hang anything important on hope. What I mean is, the system will both produce a million little hopes and then rob you of hope fairly quickly so you need to find a different emotion, joy, respect... something like that. Fight for your man all the time no matter what, and you'll grow closer and closer and closer.

And please believe people on this forum have been on the verge of breakdowns many times, but there will be an end. Dont' take the world to seriously, because anyone that hasn't had someone in this system can't understand and won't know what to say to you so they will pity you, (under the guise of sympathy) or not talk about it. But you will make it through. You WILL make it through.

No question is a dumb question and if you need to vent vent. What I would say is don't read the posts and think that something similar is going on with you, it's easy to get caught up in the whole nastiness thing. Keep communication open with your husband and believe in him, know he will need things he has never needed before and you will too, and just keep keeping on!!
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:39 PM
hismess hismess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsingHim
So I am new here. My husband was sentenced for possibly two years recently I have so many questions but don't know where to go for answers. How and when do you find out if they can get out early? How could this happen? How am I going to make it emotionally? So many questions with no answers.

I know I'm not the only one but I feel like I'm on the verge of a major breakdown....
Missing Him Terribly
Welcome!!!
First, take a deep breath and breathe! It does wonders.
Second, this is not the end of the world. I know it feels that way. We ALL have been there. But trust when we say, it does get better, or at least more manageable over time.
I'm also in North Carolina & know how it is here. So if you have any questions or need to talk, we're all here. You can send me a PM anytime. My babe is getting out soon. Been down over 3 years.
Its not easy, it will test you in so many ways. Just take it all one day at a time. And if that's to much to handle, take it hour by hour if you have too. You'll find your way. We all do. Best of luck to you!
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  #8  
Old 05-20-2013, 11:08 PM
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Default Understand how you feel

This is my husbands third time being in prison and I hate it. I do find myself getting very lonely now that the children are out of the house. I would suggest talking with your doctor and getting on a mild anti-depressant that should help you some. Call the prison where he is being housed and ask who his case manager is and then talk to them they should be able to help you with your questions that you have.
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