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  #1  
Old 02-01-2010, 08:59 AM
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Default Platonic prison relationships

Some believe that women only write to men prisoners because we are looking for the big L: LOVE.

No matter how many testify "no, I was not looking for love but as we got to know each other... (so on and so forth)," it is still believed by some that we were originally lookin' for that warm and fuzzy feeling of being needed, desired.

So this thread is going off into another direction.

How many of you have written to prisoners of opposite sex (or same sex if you're bi- or gay), not seeking romance and have maintained a platonic friendship? For how long? How often are letters exchanged? and whatever else you're willing to share.

Thank you everybody in advance.
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:13 AM
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MWI denotes a romantic relationship, I believe what you are looking for is stories of platonic pen-pals of which there are many. I am moving your thread to the pen-pal forum where there are many people that write inmates in a non-romantic way.
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:14 AM
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Well i have a man in MW but i have a pen pal in Telford Unit I have been writing to him off and on for 4years and its nothing but a Good Friendship he knows how much i love my MWI and its not a bother to him it almost feels like hes another brother to me so my answer 4 me is No im not looking for love with him just a good friendship.
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Old 02-01-2010, 11:04 AM
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My penpal and I write letters since 2004 and we usually send letters every other week. I didn't search for love, I was in a relationship when I sent the first letter. In 2008 my boyfriend and I split up and my pal's and my friendship remained a platonic one, of course. Though I like my penpal and he's a nice guy I cannot imagine to fall in love with him.
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Old 02-01-2010, 05:38 PM
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one long relationship with my ex husband[he is incarcerated] was plenty enough for me prison wise. my lifer and i are friends,very close friends but aren't in love with each other,there was a time we thought we were and we were wrong,we are more like brother and sister.
there is nothing more than platonic friendship with my pen pals. they know that more is not an option with me,some are ok with it and have become my best pals. with few others...it's still a challenge.
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Old 02-01-2010, 08:29 PM
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I am only a few months into most of my pen-ships. None of mine were because I was looking for love. I am happily married, and my husband has done his time and he's home now, mine and our, penships, are just to the people who have little to no contact with anyone on the outside. There's not a chance I would have fallen in love with any of my pen friends; if I am going to be with a man, he has to be here in the real world with me. If I want to go to bed alone every night and dream of someone, I'll keep that catalog open. In fact, I had to give it some serious thought about going on with my husband when he got incarcerated. I walked away from my first husband when he went to prison, and I really just wasn't interested in being involved romantically with anyone in that situation. But, I took into consideration that my husband had no past record, what happened was truly an instance of poor judgment on his part, and that this behavior was not going to be repeated. I have two penships that are about 1/2 a year long now, both with men my husband was inside with, and that he encouraged me to write to, because we have mutual interests, and he thought it might be nice for them to have a friend they could talk to about that sort of thing.
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Old 02-02-2010, 05:35 PM
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I have many pen friends and am developing more as I do the card swaps. I feel if I can brighten their day for just a second or two, then I have accomplished what the Good Lord has set me out to do. It is my why of helping them stay focused on who they are now.

Yes, some of them may never see the outside side of the bars. Okay we deal with that. But we talk about ways they can stay positive, make a productive life within the room that holds them.

I don't refer to it as their cell, I refer to the room. One said he sure wished he had room service because he sure wishes he could have steak and potatoes.

Many I share my writings with that deal with my family life and my own spiritual journey and many of them are so full of faith and that we are learning scripture together.

Only one do I have those tingling feelings for.
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Old 02-02-2010, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OneOfMany View Post
Some believe that women only write to men prisoners because we are looking for the big L: LOVE.

No matter how many testify "no, I was not looking for love but as we got to know each other... (so on and so forth)," it is still believed by some that we were originally lookin' for that warm and fuzzy feeling of being needed, desired.

So this thread is going off into another direction.

How many of you have written to prisoners of opposite sex (or same sex if you're bi- or gay), not seeking romance and have maintained a platonic friendship? For how long? How often are letters exchanged? and whatever else you're willing to share.

Thank you everybody in advance.
I didn't write to my pp's in hopes of finding love. I find it hard to fall in love when it is just words on paper. I'm a little skeptical
I have been writing to my pp's for just over 6months now and our letters are very platonic and I hope to keep them that way. They know that I am single but I think I made it pretty clear that I am not looking for any kind of relationship with them. so far so good only one tried to over step those boundries and I stopped writing to him.
I write to one of my pp's every week. One every other week and the last one is CA and for whatever reason letters are so slow getting to him and me that I only write to him once or twice a month and I send him a card every once in a while
I agree 100% with Daywalker, If I am going to be with a man/ in love with a man he has to be in the real world with me
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Old 02-03-2010, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnySideUp84 View Post
I didn't write to my pp's in hopes of finding love. I find it hard to fall in love when it is just words on paper. I'm a little skeptical
I have been writing to my pp's for just over 6months now and our letters are very platonic and I hope to keep them that way. They know that I am single but I think I made it pretty clear that I am not looking for any kind of relationship with them. so far so good only one tried to over step those boundries and I stopped writing to him.
I write to one of my pp's every week. One every other week and the last one is CA and for whatever reason letters are so slow getting to him and me that I only write to him once or twice a month and I send him a card every once in a while
I agree 100% with Daywalker, If I am going to be with a man/ in love with a man he has to be in the real world with me
Mail seems to run really slow in California, I know my penpal gets upset because he writes, I answer, and then its like a 4 day turn around and sometimes it is even slower. Arizonia has a good turn around, Iowa works real good 2 day turnaround. The plantonic stuff lasts so long you can have a working positive friendship with the guy without turning it into a sexual conversation. (believe me some days I watch the hormones before I answer a letter)
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Old 02-03-2010, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by penandprayerpower View Post
Mail seems to run really slow in California, I know my penpal gets upset because he writes, I answer, and then its like a 4 day turn around and sometimes it is even slower. Arizonia has a good turn around, Iowa works real good 2 day turnaround. The plantonic stuff lasts so long you can have a working positive friendship with the guy without turning it into a sexual conversation. (believe me some days I watch the hormones before I answer a letter)
I have some platonic ones, but some of them wanted more until I told them I wasn't looking for that.
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Old 02-05-2010, 07:39 PM
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Hmmm... I am "MWI"... I met my man through pen and paper. We started a pen pal friendship over 3 years ago, and it has evolved in to sooo much more.
To answer your question... I was not looking for romance when I started writing to those on the inside. My 'longest running' pal started over 10 years ago. I love him to death... I probably know his deepest, darkest secrets... I speak to his family regularly, and we're great friends. So, we have kept this friendship going for over 10 years... and I have another pen friend that I"ve been writing to for about 3 years... and yea, they're all my 'friends'. They all know about 'my guy', and it's okay... because we are only friends.
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