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View Poll Results: Sex or no sex??
My LO and have a open relationship whilst he is gone 15 7.89%
No sex at all with other people 175 92.11%
Voters: 190. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 08-23-2016, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Viva_Hart View Post
Nothing embarrassing about watching porn I watch it lol! Anything visual that helps you to imagine that is your and your man getting it on, nothing wrong with it
I agree......I watch it to I'm not embarrassed. We were talking about it at last visit he asked what type i watch more off and I already knew his answer to what he likes to watch. We actually made our own video so he could just watch that on his cell phone and guess what happened he lost his phone the night he was arrested and it wasn't locked go effing figure. Someone has that phone lol
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Old 08-23-2016, 09:54 PM
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Viva, Your a stand up person. I figured by the lack of letters and welcome home party of my "Ride or Die" girl friend she made it till later in the evening when I gave her all my worldly possessions and spilled my heart out.

It's good to know there are good women out there. I wish I could tell you a simple answer and solution. I went a couple years without love and affection, and I must admit, it was very rough the whole way through. We are all here for you though home girl :-)
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  #28  
Old 08-24-2016, 01:29 AM
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Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
I'll admit its not the same, but there is always letter sex, phone sex, self-sex There's no reason to go without or to involve another person other than your loved one
That's if your LO can write a good letter. I love my man to death but his sex letters suck he is just not a creative writer or someone that has the vocabulary necessary to really captivate me and get the imagination going. It's kind of like reading a sex story from a horny 13 year old. Maybe I can fix that by getting him a dictionary and some books on creative writing

Thankfully there is always porn to turn to when in need
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  #29  
Old 08-24-2016, 05:30 AM
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Well, since mine is serving two consecutive life sentences and I only came very late into his sentence into his life I told him that I have "friends with benefits" situations and he said he doesn't really care because he cannot give me that. But we don't talk about it.
I get lots of affection from him though but it's the "not being here with me" that can get hard. I really miss him but my life needs to go on and I cannot sit here and dry up...
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  #30  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:10 AM
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Well, I took stock in Adam and Eve and when it gets really bad, I have him talk me through it over the phone.
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  #31  
Old 08-24-2016, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Revenwyn View Post
As an SO, mine can't do letter sex or phone sex. We've never had sex. They barely let us kiss at visit. We can't even mention the word sex without a letter being pulled.



At any rate, my guy actually gave me permission to have a friend with benefits. So I will admit, I tried it. It was my FWB from 13 years ago, who I had great chemistry with and physical was all it ever was, though we never actually got as far as sex. However, I found out that we couldn't even get past making out because I really wanted M, and it wasn't fair to the FWB for him to just be a replacement (he is polyamorous.)

So I told M (this was about two weeks before I visited him in June/July) the results of the experiment, and he was actually glad that I had tried and found that I really wanted him, not just somebody. That's exactly what he thought would happen, but he did feel as if telling me that I can't have a FWB was a bit much (his cut off is any activity that ends with the word sex.) But he let me find out for myself that I didn't really want anyone else. And by the way this was before M and I had done so much as ever hug each other.

He did propose during my visit, said I could STILL have a FWB to get through urges if I needed to, but I honestly haven't been tempted again.
Rules seem to vary greatly from one prison to another on pictures, acceptable mail, visits, etc. Wouldn't it be nice if they all got together and adopted the most liberal set of rules that works anyplace? I'm also thinking about permitting conjugal visits. From what I've read, jurisdictions that permit them think they're positive in many respects, especially keeping families together. We've never had a letter refused in either direction. We don't talk plainly about anything intimate on the phone. State eavesdroppers are always lurking.
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Old 08-24-2016, 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by WaitingWilkes View Post
Rules seem to vary greatly from one prison to another on pictures, acceptable mail, visits, etc. Wouldn't it be nice if they all got together and adopted the most liberal set of rules that works anyplace? I'm also thinking about permitting conjugal visits. From what I've read, jurisdictions that permit them think they're positive in many respects, especially keeping families together. We've never had a letter refused in either direction. We don't talk plainly about anything intimate on the phone. State eavesdroppers are always lurking.
I think conjugal visits should be everywhere lol. But there should be big times rules as to who should get them etc. I don't go into detail because most people would take the Congo to far but yes some people should be allowed but it will never happen in Michigan .
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  #33  
Old 08-24-2016, 04:24 PM
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I think I remember that case. Did the inmate kill his wife while he was out on work release?

I'm sure there are plenty of rules in place to control who gets conjugals in jurisdictions that permit them. I'd have no problem with any rules they wanted us to follow. Tammy hasn't had a DR in years so she'd probably qualify hands down. What harm could giving conjugals a long-married (27 years) couple do to the system or society? None I can think of.
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  #34  
Old 08-24-2016, 07:38 PM
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Yeah they have lots of rules to follow. But I would be happy with getting them. And yes some guy was on work release and murdered some people so now we get no special things in Michigan. But I'm ok with that I've already gone a year what's two more lol.
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Old 08-25-2016, 05:32 AM
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Yeah they have lots of rules to follow. But I would be happy with getting them. And yes some guy was on work release and murdered some people so now we get no special things in Michigan. But I'm ok with that I've already gone a year what's two more lol.
Somebody always messes things up for everyone else. Group punishments are sort of appropriate for third graders; "Nobody's going outside for recess because Billy and Harry were talking" but it's a lot different for adults. Punish me if I mess up. I deserve it but leave everyone else out of it.

One problem with prison is so many totally innocent people get punished right along with the offender.
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  #36  
Old 08-25-2016, 06:33 AM
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..and we are getting seriously Off Topic and chit chatty

Here is what the OP was initially asking:

Quote:
Question for everyone....how do you cope with no sex and affection?

Because I don't want to have sex with anyone else, I can't even fathom it. But I am a woman, I am human and I crave his touch and his affection.

How do you do it? what do you do to fill that void?

Do you and your LO have a deal of some sort whilst he is in prison?
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  #37  
Old 08-25-2016, 07:27 AM
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It's really hard to not have the touch anymore. My boyfriend doesn't like phone sex and I'm not really to into porn. I really try not to think about it and just focus on other things. Sexist basic human biological function. I really wish there was some way prisons would allow inmates at least the opportunity at least once a month. It would cut down on violence and fights inside. I think.
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Old 08-25-2016, 07:33 AM
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I think it's one thing to have your libido in check with whatever means suits you but the real affection we all want from our loved ones has nothing to do with sex and I miss that the most.
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  #39  
Old 08-25-2016, 10:36 AM
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I would never ever think of getting sex elsewhere I'm not like that at all, and to be honest I don't need it from others there are ways to love yourself if you know what I mean. Haha I can also get affection from my LO on visits hugs, kisses and holding of hands and even his lovely comments cheer me up, though I would like slightly more contact and I do crave his presence daily but he doesn't have to be doing anything we could just be sitting next to each other on the same sofa and I'd be extremely happy.

I also have quite a good gift of his mum and it may seem stupid to others but it's a cushion with a picture of him on and it's seriously great to cuddle when I'm having a low day. It's on my bed. lol

Ps.. I also agree nothing wrong with porn at all. It's made for entertainment purposes anyway.
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Old 08-25-2016, 01:32 PM
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I get my affection from his letters and phone calls....He told me that he felt bad that he couldn't give the physical attention and that it was okay for me to go on dates. I totally chewed him out on that because we have to wait another year, that's nothing! I can take care of the physical part myself, the emotional part is what weighs more right now, and I definitely get that from him.
BTW he talks sex on the phone and we had our calls terminated several times because of it. So phone sex is out of the question
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Old 08-25-2016, 05:00 PM
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BTW he talks sex on the phone and we had our calls terminated several times because of it. So phone sex is out of the question
That possibility and not knowing who might be listening and enjoying him/herself are why we never tried phone sex in all the time she's been down.
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Old 08-25-2016, 05:11 PM
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That possibility and not knowing who might be listening and enjoying him/herself are why we never tried phone sex in all the time she's been down.
Phone sex can be any number of "activities." Due to the fact that the one in prison may not be able to participate fully, other tactics work just as well and are still phone sex. Activities such as: the one in prison controlling the tempo using numbers still constitutes phone sex.

And if that's how you both cope with no other sex, so be it. Its all good
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Old 08-25-2016, 05:35 PM
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Phone sex can be any number of "activities." Due to the fact that the one in prison may not be able to participate fully, other tactics work just as well and are still phone sex. Activities such as: the one in prison controlling the tempo using numbers still constitutes phone sex.

And if that's how you both cope with no other sex, so be it. Its all good
You're right. Our numbers game is sort of phone sex but hopefully we're the only ones who recognize that. It's as good as it gets for us. That has to be good enough. It's not the only sex I get but it's the only sex my wife and share, in a sense.
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  #44  
Old 08-26-2016, 04:12 PM
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I really miss my LO at night. It's ok during the day. He has been writing sexy letters that I have only e-mail about since I've been busy. I'll have to return the favor soon.
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Old 08-28-2016, 07:21 PM
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We have phone sex once in a while when he cellie is asleep! Lol! He writes me dirty letters and i do the same ( i just finished writing a ten page one right now). I only crave sex with him, never have and never will look at another man with lust and since i cant get it with the only one i want, you learn to cope!! I bought my very first dildo couple weeks ago. I mostly miss the cuddling and just his presence or his touch. I will never cheat on him that's out of the question!
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Old 08-29-2016, 12:55 PM
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Out of sight out of mind for me. I was probably a Tibetan monk in my former life. And plus I have our busy toddler to look after.

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Old 08-29-2016, 02:11 PM
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I really truly enjoy reading all the lies. You say you don't have a desire to have sex with anyone else. You love your husband! You crave for his touch and affection and you sleep with a body pillow. But you did slip you say! But you waiting you say. Now you all are liars!! I'm sure I'm not the only person that has caught the lies. My husband is incarcerated and he was meeting other woman before he got locked up(womanizer). The cat is away, the mouse will play and eat cheese. He would do the same to you believe that. That doesn't mean you don't truly really love him no it doesn't. Don't be stupid!!
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Old 08-29-2016, 02:58 PM
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I really truly enjoy reading all the lies. You say you don't have a desire to have sex with anyone else. You love your husband! You crave for his touch and affection and you sleep with a body pillow. But you did slip you say! But you waiting you say. Now you all are liars!! I'm sure I'm not the only person that has caught the lies. My husband is incarcerated and he was meeting other woman before he got locked up(womanizer). The cat is away, the mouse will play and eat cheese. He would do the same to you believe that. That doesn't mean you don't truly really love him no it doesn't. Don't be stupid!!
Me and my Man were together 9 years ago. He went to prison and I started going out after a while and ended up writing him less and the connection between us weakened. I slept with a couple guys and then felt guilty writing him. It ruined everything. He forgave me but I still have never forgiven myself. Not just for sleeping with someone else but abandoning him. I ended up meeting someone I thought was better and married the guy. It was a mistake he never made me as happy as my guy did. Anyway after my divorce I found my Man again back in prison unfortunately but we are giving things a second chance. We never had a relationship on the outside only a friendship but he always wanted to and loved me. Now I make it a priority to write him daily and stay loyal and faithful. When I want sex I watch movies and do it myself or read his naughty letters. I don't like having sex without emotion. I did that for 5 years with my ex husband. It wasn't a good experience. Not everyone is lying.
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Old 08-29-2016, 04:21 PM
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I really truly enjoy reading all the lies. You say you don't have a desire to have sex with anyone else. You love your husband! You crave for his touch and affection and you sleep with a body pillow. But you did slip you say! But you waiting you say. Now you all are liars!! I'm sure I'm not the only person that has caught the lies. My husband is incarcerated and he was meeting other woman before he got locked up(womanizer). The cat is away, the mouse will play and eat cheese. He would do the same to you believe that. That doesn't mean you don't truly really love him no it doesn't. Don't be stupid!!
First of all you don't know me. And I don't have to prove myself to you or anyone on this forum. I have been 1000% faithful to my husband and I will always be. I have no desire for another man I have no desire to let another man touch me. And I don't care how many woman say their men are OK with it. They are NOT no matter how much time they have. They want you to stay true to their heart. If he tells you hes ok with it then he has no respect for you. If he's a lifer I think that's a different story. You have to make that decision for yourself. IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO STEP OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP THATS YOUR CHOICE. THIS POST IS HOW I CHOOSE AND BELIEVE RELATIONSHIPS WORK. Either way it's our life to choose how we live it. And as far as if the roles were reversed I believe with my entire heart my husband would do the exact same thing I'm doing best believe that. The cats not playing and the mouse isn't eating any cheese.!!!!!
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Old 08-29-2016, 05:41 PM
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I really truly enjoy reading all the lies. You say you don't have a desire to have sex with anyone else. You love your husband! You crave for his touch and affection and you sleep with a body pillow. But you did slip you say! But you waiting you say. Now you all are liars!! I'm sure I'm not the only person that has caught the lies. My husband is incarcerated and he was meeting other woman before he got locked up(womanizer). The cat is away, the mouse will play and eat cheese. He would do the same to you believe that. That doesn't mean you don't truly really love him no it doesn't. Don't be stupid!!
Pot...Kettle...

You stayed with a man that couldn't be faithful to you and played the tit for tat cheating game...So you would be just as much of a liar and cheater as the people you point fingers at. Also if you choose to be with a man that cheats on you both outside and inside I would think that you aren't the sharpest knife in the drawer either so it is a bit ironic that you are telling others not to be stupid. But hey if you want to mount on up and play in the STD swap-a-thon aftermath your husband has vacationing in his nether region from those other women and then come here to cast judgement to make yourself feel better you have at it.

Believe it or not there are people who are able to satisfy their own needs and don't have the urge to trick their treat all over town. Not just because they have a man in prison but also because they don't want to just have meaningless sex with random strangers. Plenty of people not associated with an inmate go without sex for long periods of time because of their own beliefs and morals.
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