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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: Would you marry your loved on in prison if she or he has a short time left?
NOPE. What's the use. No need if he is about to get out of prison. 59 38.31%
Yes!Then we can re-do it out here when freed.Leave the jail as man and wife!!! 33 21.43%
This is a hard one.(Not sure about this.) 9 5.84%
If i can marry my man right now, like, TODAY, i sure would!!! 41 26.62%
We already married in prison + i have no regrets! Love my husband/wife. 19 12.34%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 154. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 02-08-2017, 07:36 PM
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Talking Would you marry your MWI right before s/he got out of prison?

and you had a chance to simply marry your significant other, right before he get out of prison,(or she) would you?
-
I personally was going to(then he was sentenced to more SHU time) We waited. Then, last year i really felt like we are going to do it. We both felt like it was going to happen, when my fiancee/bff was released finally from SHU (again.)We wrote those in charge.

But, then we heard from those in charge at the prison. We both have a copy for our journey scrapbook that shows the Warden said no,(as no prison weddings in 2016 at the facility he is finishing his time in, but it might be (when a new chaplain arrive)during early to mid 2017 so to re-apply then etc., request to marry this year.)
-
TBH(to be honest) he know that i am still on the fence in the back of mi head about marrying a man in prison,but i love him so much and i know he feel the same. He has proven it so much while in prison.Not sure though about marrying in prison though...((( Even if i think it is so sweet when i read others have took the plunge.))) *smiles*
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:32 PM
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No. I want my wedding to be a happy occasion and for me it wouldn't be if we married in prison. There really is no advantage to being married while he's there. We act like we are anyway. lol. Anyway if it was right before he got out then why not just wait?

If he had lwop I might feel different though I'm not sure I'd even be thinking of marriage if that were the case.
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:38 PM
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I'm not MWI, I'm RWI (reconnected while incarcerated.) My fiance has a parole hearing at the end of April. We'd like to get married before that for the sake of our families, who are very against living together before marriage. It also makes the man look more stable in front of the parole board if he's married.
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Old 02-08-2017, 11:01 PM
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It also makes the man look more stable in front of the parole board if he's married.
Is this really true? Are people more likely to be paroled if they are married?
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Old 02-09-2017, 12:14 AM
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No...prison is shit I want to be married somewhere nice.
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Old 02-09-2017, 12:17 AM
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I'm not MWI, I'm RWI (reconnected while incarcerated.) My fiance has a parole hearing at the end of April. We'd like to get married before that for the sake of our families, who are very against living together before marriage. It also makes the man look more stable in front of the parole board if he's married.
Must be why its only them single guys who get refused parole then...nobody on the parole board would think....maybe he got married just to make us think he is more stable...come on now.
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Old 02-09-2017, 12:45 AM
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Sean only has till March of 2019 to go, but we are planning to Marry soon. We both want it and are ready, we love the thought of being Man and Wife when I pick him up and we really begin our lives together. We will be married before our first time being intimate too and that is very special to us. For our 5 year wedding anniversary we will have a ceremony with all our friends and family and renew our vows and celebrate our love then. The small ceremony at the prison is for us. I can't wait! He requested the marriage packet now we are just waiting till it comes so we can move forward with things. We are excited to share the same name right now and be more connected.
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Old 02-09-2017, 12:58 AM
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Is this really true? Are people more likely to be paroled if they are married?
They're not more likely, but it lets the parole board know that they have solid outside support, and that they're a stable enough person to be in a relationship.
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Old 02-09-2017, 01:00 AM
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Sean only has till March of 2019 to go, but we are planning to Marry soon. We both want it and are ready, we love the thought of being Man and Wife when I pick him up and we really begin our lives together. We will be married before our first time being intimate too and that is very special to us. For our 5 year wedding anniversary we will have a ceremony with all our friends and family and renew our vows and celebrate our love then. The small ceremony at the prison is for us. I can't wait! He requested the marriage packet now we are just waiting till it comes so we can move forward with things. We are excited to share the same name right now and be more connected.
We're trying to get married if they'll let us. Colorado allows self-solemnization (no officiant or witnesses necessary) but my family insists on a ceremony before we actually get in the same apartment. The idea they have is basically pick him up, get everything he needs for parole done, then boom, I'll be waiting in my wedding dress, my uncle will do a ceremony, go home to our apartment.
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Old 02-09-2017, 02:06 AM
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Hypothetically: even if Jeff would ask me now, I'd still say no. He's been in for 23+ years, maybe having a chance at a life outside one day (hopefully sooner rather than later), there's no "need" to marry. Love isn't the only thing that matters.
We've said that when he's still in when I'm 70 he'll marry me because then I can move back to the US and he will have someone around but that's just silly talk for now.
I want him to have all the chances in the world when he gets out, even maybe starting a family with someone - since that ship has sailed for me.
But as stated above, if it "helps" him getting out, I'd do it - for him.
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Old 02-09-2017, 04:22 AM
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We got married in prison and it wasn't because he was likely to get parole if he was married or any other reason apart from we love each other! Yes it wasn't in a church with a big meringue dress but the Chaplain made it special. He still has 6 years to do and where he is believe me the parole board don't care less if they're married. When he gets out we will renew our vows because we want our families to celebrate our love. You get married because you love each other and I would have married him anywhere and I was very happy on the day. Every person is different and has different ideas about what they want in life. I don't care what anybody thinks about us getting married in prison we did it for us not the parole board or any other reason.
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Old 02-09-2017, 11:08 AM
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No, I am very fortunate I started writing a relative of a friend when he only had 11 months left of his current three year bid. I admire the women who stay true to their loved ones for many years whether knowing them before, or meeting them while incarcerated. I probably would not have started writing him if it were the beginning of his sentence. With seven months left I will say it has been great for both of us. I don't feel like I will really know the true essence of him until he gets out and we spend a few days alone together only because we don't have years to write each other. Meeting him brought me to this group so it's all been a good experience so far. Marriage that would be a long way off of ever!
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Old 02-09-2017, 01:28 PM
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They're not more likely, but it lets the parole board know that they have solid outside support, and that they're a stable enough person to be in a relationship.
I'm not so sure about that. Lots of unstable people are in relationships. So hopefully that's not a reason why you aren't waiting.
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Old 02-10-2017, 04:52 PM
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and you had a chance to simply marry your significant other, right before he get out of prison,(or she) would you?
There's nothing simple about getting married, prison or no. It's not a decision to be made lightly. I think a lot of times we hear how someone wouldn't want a prison wedding, but that's just a location. We met, dated and got married in the same room so the building we did it in didn't matter two squats to us.

We got married because we love one another and desired to be husband and wife. We have a very unstable outdate so it wasn't for parole, we don't get Family Visits, and he won't be moving straight in with me after. So we truly did it because we desired the union. But to be honest, if he had a short walk to the gate, I'd wait. There is an adjustment after marriage and adding that on top of release stress....yeah, no thanks.
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Old 02-11-2017, 04:32 PM
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and you had a chance to simply marry your significant other, right before he get out of prison,(or she) would you?
-
I personally was going to(then he was sentenced to more SHU time) We waited. Then, last year i really felt like we are going to do it. We both felt like it was going to happen, when my fiancee/bff was released finally from SHU (again.)We wrote those in charge.

But, then we heard from those in charge at the prison. We both have a copy for our journey scrapbook that shows the Warden said no,(as no prison weddings in 2016 at the facility he is finishing his time in, but it might be (when a new chaplain arrive)during early to mid 2017 so to re-apply then etc., request to marry this year.)
-
TBH(to be honest) he know that i am still on the fence in the back of mi head about marrying a man in prison,but i love him so much and i know he feel the same. He has proven it so much while in prison.Not sure though about marrying in prison though...((( Even if i think it is so sweet when i read others have took the plunge.))) *smiles*
Hell no! He has never had a relationship as an adult....he needs to get out and find himself. Being down since he was 17 and going to be 25 years he's served...the last thing he needs is marriage. lol
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Old 02-11-2017, 07:19 PM
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There's nothing simple about getting married, prison or no. It's not a decision to be made lightly. I think a lot of times we hear how someone wouldn't want a prison wedding, but that's just a location. We met, dated and got married in the same room so the building we did it in didn't matter two squats to us.

We got married because we love one another and desired to be husband and wife. We have a very unstable outdate so it wasn't for parole, we don't get Family Visits, and he won't be moving straight in with me after. So we truly did it because we desired the union. But to be honest, if he had a short walk to the gate, I'd wait. There is an adjustment after marriage and adding that on top of release stress....yeah, no thanks.
We don't qualify for family visits either. He is closed A custody too many points lol. Everyone I talked to thought that's why we were doing it I said no we have to wait until he comes home to spend the night together.
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Old 02-18-2017, 01:39 AM
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she is a woman....didn't see that M part lol
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Old 02-18-2017, 10:20 AM
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Default I agree with you Mizzy

I want Thernell to have a chance at a family because my shipped has sailed too, I want him to experience everything because he deserves too. That's why I have kept my relationship as friends for four years with him because I want him to live the life he always wanted.

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Hypothetically: even if Jeff would ask me now, I'd still say no. He's been in for 23+ years, maybe having a chance at a life outside one day (hopefully sooner rather than later), there's no "need" to marry. Love isn't the only thing that matters.
We've said that when he's still in when I'm 70 he'll marry me because then I can move back to the US and he will have someone around but that's just silly talk for now.
I want him to have all the chances in the world when he gets out, even maybe starting a family with someone - since that ship has sailed for me.
But as stated above, if it "helps" him getting out, I'd do it - for him.
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Old 02-25-2017, 07:50 PM
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Absolutely! But I would definitely have a re-do when he gets out. I Love Him from the bottom of my heart (Which was shocking in itself. I was actually trying not to love him because of his predicament.). I can't wait for us to be married. He has written to the higher ups, so hopefully it will be occurring fairly soon.
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Old 02-28-2017, 10:18 PM
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I wouldn't, but we aren't living together when he gets out. I know we aren't traditional by any means, but I always imagined living in the same house as newlyweds. Not begging the halfway house for a pass on the weekends just so I can see him for a few hours.
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Old 03-02-2017, 11:01 AM
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I love my man and we may have marriage in the future we talk about the possibility. But I would not marry him until he is out, has a job, and can prove that he has changed his ways and is not going back. I have also told him this that if he really wants to marry me he has to prove that he can be the husband he says I deserve and promises to be.
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Old 03-02-2017, 11:15 AM
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I would NOT... I am not currently in this type of relationship but I've been there, done that.

The thing is.. if you are MWI, the ONLY thing you know about this guy's ability to function and "make it" in the outside world is that so far, he's failed at it. For a guy to even be a CANDIDATE to marry, I'm going to need to see some prolonged success because I've got hopes and dreams and aspirations and being a prison wifey isn't one of them.
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Old 03-05-2017, 02:04 AM
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I know it's hard to think of a prison wedding to be the wedding of your dreams but when my husband and I applied to get married we talked about it and decided we would be officially married within DOC and have a wedding when he gets out. About 14 months left on his time but I didn't want to wait any longer wait to be his wife. It's alot if foot work to get the marriage license and an officiant and follow all the special requirements but i believe it is well worth it to marry your best friend. When he gets home we are going to have a ceremony so our family and friends can be there. Not everyone understands it but we do and it takes alot of the stress out of planning the wedding. We don't have to worry about all the paperwork and name change stuff right afterwards all that will be taken care of and it will be more like planning a party. I can't wait to walk down the isle with my dad and see my mom crying as she sees in my wedding dress like she always dreamed to witness. I have no regrets and if I would have done it sooner if I could and would have married him a month before he got if I had to wait that long. I waited 6 years and now I have to wait one more but I know it will all be well worth it when he gets home. Waiting isn't for the weak willed but if you are dedicated enough to marry him waiting is easy it's the missing him that is the hard part
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Old 03-06-2017, 11:12 PM
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I know it's hard to think of a prison wedding to be the wedding of your dreams but when my husband and I applied to get married we talked about it and decided we would be officially married within DOC and have a wedding when he gets out. About 14 months left on his time but I didn't want to wait any longer wait to be his wife. It's alot if foot work to get the marriage license and an officiant and follow all the special requirements but i believe it is well worth it to marry your best friend. When he gets home we are going to have a ceremony so our family and friends can be there. Not everyone understands it but we do and it takes alot of the stress out of planning the wedding. We don't have to worry about all the paperwork and name change stuff right afterwards all that will be taken care of and it will be more like planning a party. I can't wait to walk down the isle with my dad and see my mom crying as she sees in my wedding dress like she always dreamed to witness. I have no regrets and if I would have done it sooner if I could and would have married him a month before he got if I had to wait that long. I waited 6 years and now I have to wait one more but I know it will all be well worth it when he gets home. Waiting isn't for the weak willed but if you are dedicated enough to marry him waiting is easy it's the missing him that is the hard part
You're so right...marriage and a wedding can be two very different things. One is a commitment to be husband and wife (or wife/wife, husband/husband) and one is a public celebration of that commitment. If my LO was going to be moving in with me after release we'd probably already have gotten married inside and celebrated afterwards. But alas, that's not us.

And you're right, your wedding and honeymoon period will be so much simpler without the extra hassles of paperwork and name changes and all that. Just the beauty of celebration without the nonesense.
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Old 03-09-2017, 07:53 PM
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I would NOT... I am not currently in this type of relationship but I've been there, done that.

The thing is.. if you are MWI, the ONLY thing you know about this guy's ability to function and "make it" in the outside world is that so far, he's failed at it. For a guy to even be a CANDIDATE to marry, I'm going to need to see some prolonged success because I've got hopes and dreams and aspirations and being a prison wifey isn't one of them.
I've been out my whole life and have failed miserably in certain areas and succeeded wildly in others. I suspect the same is true for most of us.

The question is specific to being short-time to the gate and for that reason I said no...reentry has its own set of challenges, I wouldn't want to add newly wed changes to them.
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How to marry someone in prison? patricksgirl05 Prison & Jail Wedding Information Central 0 11-21-2012 05:42 PM
Just Want To Know if you would marry your MWI man in prison christy238 Met While Incarcerated 72 02-29-2008 12:53 PM
don't know what to do he wants to marry while in prison. shortierican Prison & Jail Wedding Information Central 4 12-24-2006 12:44 AM
Why won't you marry him in prison? tweetwashington Prison & Jail Wedding Information Central 21 04-28-2005 12:53 PM


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