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  #1  
Old 11-07-2018, 04:14 PM
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Default How to answer if I know why he is in there?

Hello y'all


So i had an email this afternoon from my pal and he was giving me hints about if i know why he is in there, but i ignore them because i know it is something that we should never talk about but i'm really wonder how i should answer if he or someone else ever asked if i know what he did to be in there ?!
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Old 11-07-2018, 05:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mia404 View Post
Hello y'all


So i had an email this afternoon from my pal and he was giving me hints about if i know why he is in there, but i ignore them because i know it is something that we should never talk about but i'm really wonder how i should answer if he or someone else ever asked if i know what he did to be in there ?!
maybe something like "that is completely up to you if you want to tell me, im not gonna force you to tell me anything, especially if you aren't comfortable"?
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Old 11-07-2018, 10:27 PM
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Why should you never talk about it?
Some penpal sites link you to their DOC page with their charges on it, so not everyone is afforded that level of privacy. Personally, I think the only way to answer is honestly. Do you know? If you do, then say yes and that if they want to talk about it they can but they don't have to. If you don't know, then pretty much the same response.
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Old 11-07-2018, 11:13 PM
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Excuse me here if this comes off rude or whatever- but wouldn't you WANT to know what someone's charges were, like PRIOR to a "penpal" relationship/situation? ESPECIALLY if you didnt know them beforehand?
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Old 11-07-2018, 11:46 PM
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When I looked for some pen-pals a few years ago on Write a Prisoner you can see what they are in for and it's okay to know and talk about. I even googled those guys as well.
I mean... not trying to be disrespectful... don't you do your research before you start writing an inmate?
It's another thing if your pen-pal wants to tell you more about his crime, I wouldn't force him to talk about it but I do find it important to know about their crime...
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Old 11-08-2018, 03:17 AM
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Well, we don't ask pen pals about their crimes because we fear it would force them into a conversation they don't want to have or are not ready to have.
But since it was him who asked and ventured into the matter, why not answer?
I would tell him I know about his crime and that he wants to talk about it I'm ok with that, but if not, no problem.
Don't ignore his question.
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Old 11-08-2018, 03:52 AM
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Why wouldn't you answer him??? He obviously needs to get it of his chest. Would it change the way you feel about the person he became? Because that person he became is what you are dealing with not his crime. He already has been judged over his crime and he is being punished over it.
If someone else asks why he is in just tell them it is none of their business or invite them to write him and ask him themselves......
Basically if they aren't family members of yours they are just being nosy. If you had met him on the streets nobody would care if he was the greatest fool alive. Because he is behind bars makes you feel obligated to answer questions???
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Old 11-08-2018, 03:57 AM
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It seems to be about what you want? If it is, the direct approach might be best.
If you don't know: "I don't know why you are there, and would rather avoid talking about it.
If you know: "I know why you are there, but really prefer not to talk about it.
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Old 11-08-2018, 10:35 AM
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thank you ladies
i do know about his crime, and i did my researches before i get in touch with anyone of them, but i was unsure if i should say "yes i know" as Raf's Girl said
Quote:
that person he became is what you are dealing with not his crime. He already has been judged over his crime and he is being punished over it.
If someone else asks why he is in just tell them it is none of their business or invite them to write him and ask him themselves
i like that really
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