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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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  #1  
Old 10-24-2012, 07:36 PM
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Default Facing the reality that I may never have children

This is my first post so I apologize if I do anything wrong.
I always try to stay positive about things that have to do with my Husband (and everything else.) I don't let the fact that he is serving a 25 to life sentence stop me from planning our future together. I don't know what happened today but for some reason the reality that I may lose my opportunity to have my Husbands children hit me hard. What do I do? I am 34 which is about the age I need to start thinking about this stuff. He has been in for 13 years (up for parole in 5 more years.) There is nothing more I want than to have his beautiful babies (neither of us have any.) I am so scared that by the time he gets out it will be to late. I have tried to ask people in my life for help and I either get cheat until you're pregnant or why would you want to have a baby with a man in prison. Why don't people see that I am just a normal woman that is head over heels in love that dreams of being a mother? Should I have stopped dreaming about things I want because the man I love is in prison? Do I not deserve to have a baby? I guess if it goes for another year or two without family visits I will have to think about finding a donor with my Husband. Is anyone else going through this? Have you been through it and if so how did you handle it? If you were in my shoes what would you do?
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:27 AM
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Sometimes I have your fears too. I'm 29, my man will be 31 soon and he's a lifer. I want to get married and have kids with him. He knows and I'm sure he will do everything to make me happy if I ask him. I've questioned myself many times and the truth is that, as long as my boyfriend gives me the respect and the support he's giving me right now, I don't care. When kids will be my priority, I will talk to my man and he surely will come up with something.
Your man can change his position in 5 years, it's some time but not a lot. I will probably stand by my man till then (but everything can happen in 5 years) and then see what happens. You are lucky you can use a donor or you can even adopt: I live in Italy and those things are forbidden for singles (or to couples when one of them is in prison). Good luck!
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Old 10-25-2012, 03:09 PM
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Sometimes I have your fears too. I'm 29, my man will be 31 soon and he's a lifer. I want to get married and have kids with him. He knows and I'm sure he will do everything to make me happy if I ask him. I've questioned myself many times and the truth is that, as long as my boyfriend gives me the respect and the support he's giving me right now, I don't care. When kids will be my priority, I will talk to my man and he surely will come up with something.
Your man can change his position in 5 years, it's some time but not a lot. I will probably stand by my man till then (but everything can happen in 5 years) and then see what happens. You are lucky you can use a donor or you can even adopt: I live in Italy and those things are forbidden for singles (or to couples when one of them is in prison). Good luck!
Thank you for your kind words! I will stand by my Husband forever, no matter what happens with his parole. I have waited 13 years so far I am not giving him up for anything. You are correct about a donor and if things have to go that way that is what I will choose. I don't think I would be allowed to adopt here either. I wish you the absolute best of luck!!
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Old 10-27-2012, 07:05 PM
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Im 25 & will be 42 almost 43 when he goes up for parole. So itll be hard to have kids but we look at all possibilities. We are looking into freezing my eggs first then we will go from there. We know a lovely couple that is one their second child conceived in a visitation bathroom. Though I dont think.i could go there but hey its an option! Lol jk.. Well maybe
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Old 10-27-2012, 07:26 PM
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This thread makes me sad I wish all of you loving a lifer support and love: I have no idea how hard this must be for you. But I wouldn't give up on having kids, remember there are always options. Make sure to take care of yourselves emotionally and mentally so when the time comes you're prepared. My only amateur question is how do conjugal visits work? Are you eligible for them (I know how they work I mean would they work for your situation). I hope for all of you married and hoping for babies lots of baby dust to you

For those still dating their men, be realistic and honest with your partner. Find out now if the option is available and if its not seriously think about what would hurt less: walking away from your man or never having kids. That may sound harsh (it's not meant to be). But if you married the man, at least in my life, marriage is a serious commitment and till death do us part is real. You're dating this man to determine if he WOULD be a suitable partner. If his situation will force you to sacrifice more than you already have, just think about if you're needs are being met not just his.
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Old 10-28-2012, 07:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Ser_de_lluvia
This thread makes me sad I wish all of you loving a lifer support and love: I have no idea how hard this must be for you. But I wouldn't give up on having kids, remember there are always options. Make sure to take care of yourselves emotionally and mentally so when the time comes you're prepared. My only amateur question is how do conjugal visits work? Are you eligible for them (I know how they work I mean would they work for your situation). I hope for all of you married and hoping for babies lots of baby dust to you

For those still dating their men, be realistic and honest with your partner. Find out now if the option is available and if its not seriously think about what would hurt less: walking away from your man or never having kids. That may sound harsh (it's not meant to be). But if you married the man, at least in my life, marriage is a serious commitment and till death do us part is real. You're dating this man to determine if he WOULD be a suitable partner. If his situation will force you to sacrifice more than you already have, just think about if you're needs are being met not just his.
Someone please correct me if im wrong. My fiancé is a lifer in AZ so family visits arent a possibility for us. As I know there are only about five states that do them anymore. And they dont have to be lifers, I think some wont allow if they are lifers actually, I think Cali is like that. I wish more than anything we could have them. We dream about the day we can have them and dont have to joke about conceiving our first born in a visitation bathroom. But for me, it would worse to not have him than to never have kids.
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Old 10-28-2012, 03:22 PM
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Im 25 & will be 42 almost 43 when he goes up for parole. So itll be hard to have kids but we look at all possibilities. We are looking into freezing my eggs first then we will go from there. We know a lovely couple that is one their second child conceived in a visitation bathroom. Though I dont think.i could go there but hey its an option! Lol jk.. Well maybe
I wish you the best of luck, freezing eggs is a great idea!
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Old 10-28-2012, 03:47 PM
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This thread makes me sad I wish all of you loving a lifer support and love: I have no idea how hard this must be for you. But I wouldn't give up on having kids, remember there are always options. Make sure to take care of yourselves emotionally and mentally so when the time comes you're prepared. My only amateur question is how do conjugal visits work? Are you eligible for them (I know how they work I mean would they work for your situation). I hope for all of you married and hoping for babies lots of baby dust to you

For those still dating their men, be realistic and honest with your partner. Find out now if the option is available and if its not seriously think about what would hurt less: walking away from your man or never having kids. That may sound harsh (it's not meant to be). But if you married the man, at least in my life, marriage is a serious commitment and till death do us part is real. You're dating this man to determine if he WOULD be a suitable partner. If his situation will force you to sacrifice more than you already have, just think about if you're needs are being met not just his.
Thank you for your kind words!! It is very difficult to be without him but at least I have someone worth waiting for Don't be sad for us, we will figure something out. We can't get family visits because he has 25 to life Over the last few days I have been in deep thought, a baby is very important to me and I am looking at options. Once I have gotten all of the options figured out I will bring them to my Love. We will have a baby one way or another.
I absolutely agree that marriage is forever, when we were married I had "till death do us part" replaced with "never will we part!" He isn't getting out just because we die, he is mine hehehehe. I knew the possibilities and explored all things that may come up (even children,) but desires change and the need to have a child grew stronger than I expected. I would sacrifice anything for my Husband, he is an extraordinary man!!
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Old 10-28-2012, 03:51 PM
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Default stupid but it can happen

Hi , I was lucky to have trailor visits in our state but know several women at attica correctional who brought in a plastic syringe . Their boyfriend/husband took it into the bathroom to do "his thing " and placed it into the syring where when returned to her she went into the womans bathroom to inject it into her vagina .Sounds stupid I know but it does work when you are desprate . Good luck ...........Lesly
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Old 10-28-2012, 03:56 PM
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Hi , I was lucky to have trailor visits in our state but know several women at attica correctional who brought in a plastic syringe . Their boyfriend/husband took it into the bathroom to do "his thing " and placed it into the syring where when returned to her she went into the womans bathroom to inject it into her vagina .Sounds stupid I know but it does work when you are desprate . Good luck ...........Lesly
That is great luck I wish we got them but we don't. I am exploring the options and that is one of them. Haha such a strange world. Sometimes I just have to laugh and think really this is where I am? But yes I am and there is never a dull moment
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Old 10-31-2012, 04:21 PM
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Haha Leslyjane I had actually thought of that at one point. Hey when you're desperate you're desperate. I think we've all thought of what the means are when we're faced with our situation. It's completely normal.

I do know that Kyle told me that there was one couple at the prison he's serving that they fought the prison and WON at being able to do the invitro fertilization. I know that procedure is kind of expensive but maybe look into that as a possible method? It definitely wouldn't hurt to try. Good luck and just know we've all on the forum at least been where you're at. Hugs.
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Old 10-31-2012, 10:45 PM
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I am not trying to rain on anyone's parade......but I have to say that I hope there is some serious thought going on about having a child, other than simply wanting to have your man's baby. I understand this, I do....I have grown sons and there have been plenty of times when I wished that either they had been his or that I could have had his child, but.......

It was because of my children that I waited so long to re-connect with him.....I knew that their stability had to come first.....I could not disrupt their home life because of my selfish need to be with my lifer.......so I waited, and waited, and waited......

I was very fortunate that when i did get pregnant it was with a very good man who turned out to be a wonderful father to my sons.......It took both of us to get those young men raised to manhood, and it has not been easy. They don't stay little for long and the road to raising a child can be anything but smooth......they are expensive, exasperating, mess makers. And the years when they are younger are the easier years....even having two parents is no guarantee that they grow up to be functional adults.....our men should be classic examples of this.....one of my sons is a full blown alcoholic and I suspect is using drugs as well.....it is heartbreaking. As hard as life has been with my lifer since we reunited in 2004, going thru this with my son has been infinitely harder and a constant worry on my heart and mind.

I don't know what happened, I wouldn't trade one moment I've had with him, the beautiful baby he was, the adorable toddler he was, the spirited, athletic little boy he was, the incredibly busy teenager he was, and then it got veered off somehow, I don't know how....you've never seen a child more adored than he was and he still found his way to drugs and alcohol, several stints in the county jail and I'm afraid prison looms in his future. Not that he couldn't overcome it but we all know how easy it is for one mistake to land him in prison for the rest of his life......

I say all that to say this.....be careful what you wish for.........babies have an annoying habit of growing up.
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Old 11-01-2012, 02:15 AM
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I am not trying to rain on anyone's parade......but I have to say that I hope there is some serious thought going on about having a child, other than simply wanting to have your man's baby. I understand this, I do....I have grown sons and there have been plenty of times when I wished that either they had been his or that I could have had his child, but.......

It was because of my children that I waited so long to re-connect with him.....I knew that their stability had to come first.....I could not disrupt their home life because of my selfish need to be with my lifer.......so I waited, and waited, and waited......

I was very fortunate that when i did get pregnant it was with a very good man who turned out to be a wonderful father to my sons.......It took both of us to get those young men raised to manhood, and it has not been easy. They don't stay little for long and the road to raising a child can be anything but smooth......they are expensive, exasperating, mess makers. And the years when they are younger are the easier years....even having two parents is no guarantee that they grow up to be functional adults.....our men should be classic examples of this.....one of my sons is a full blown alcoholic and I suspect is using drugs as well.....it is heartbreaking. As hard as life has been with my lifer since we reunited in 2004, going thru this with my son has been infinitely harder and a constant worry on my heart and mind.

I don't know what happened, I wouldn't trade one moment I've had with him, the beautiful baby he was, the adorable toddler he was, the spirited, athletic little boy he was, the incredibly busy teenager he was, and then it got veered off somehow, I don't know how....you've never seen a child more adored than he was and he still found his way to drugs and alcohol, several stints in the county jail and I'm afraid prison looms in his future. Not that he couldn't overcome it but we all know how easy it is for one mistake to land him in prison for the rest of his life......

I say all that to say this.....be careful what you wish for.........babies have an annoying habit of growing up.



Hello JKB's Girl, I am very sorry that you are dealing with so much! I can't begin to imagine how hard that must be for you to deal with. That being said, I must ask what are you trying to say?* Why would you assume that anyone from this site would jump into having a child without thought? For me to even get pregnant by my Husband is going to be a real miracle and if I have to get pregnant another way it will be heartbreaking but worth it. Either way there will be a lot of thought and conversation happening between my Husband and I. Its not an easy thing, I can't just get pregnant, do you honestly think I haven't pondered beyond pregnancy? Why would you assume that I have put no other thought into it than "wanting to have my man's baby?" Yes my reason for wanting a child is a selfish one, I want children, how many other reasons are there? Yes I "want to have my man's baby" but that "man" is my Husband. As his Wife it is my God given right to have his children. Neither my Husband nor I have been married before, and neither of us have children. Are you saying that I should be denied fulfilling my dream as a woman because my Husband is in prison? Should I do like you and have someone else's child, is that what you are saying? You say your children had a wonderful father but wish they were someone else's? What gives you the right or the nerve question me on having children with my Husband? I am really not understanding what you are trying to say. Perhaps you just needed to vent that your son isn't doing well, I am really sorry to hear it! I may just a little to emotional tonight thinking about the probability of pregnancy and in the morning your response wont seem so rude. However you did start it out with "I am not trying to rain on anyone's parade" so you knew it wasn't nice, and I guess I can't be to far off. Maybe I should have started mine that way too, instead I will end it with no offense intended.
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Old 11-01-2012, 02:59 AM
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As his Wife it is my God given right to have his children. Neither my Husband nor I have been married before, and neither of us have children. Are you saying that I should be denied fulfilling my dream as a woman because my Husband is in prison? [/quote]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time dealing but thats probably because of your feelings of entitlement.
You don't have a god given right to anything at all. Everything we get in life is a blessing, something to be grateful for, not to be dismissed as "my god given right".
Somewhere along the way, conciously or not you must have realized that the chances if having a child with your husband we're slim to none. So by marrying him you must have felt that he was more important than having a child. I can't understand why you married him before thinking this through properly.
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Old 11-01-2012, 04:34 AM
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As his Wife it is my God given right to have his children. Neither my Husband nor I have been married before, and neither of us have children. Are you saying that I should be denied fulfilling my dream as a woman because my Husband is in prison?
I'm sorry you are having a hard time dealing but thats probably because of your feelings of entitlement.
You don't have a god given right to anything at all. Everything we get in life is a blessing, something to be grateful for, not to be dismissed as "my god given right".
Somewhere along the way, conciously or not you must have realized that the chances if having a child with your husband we're slim to none. So by marrying him you must have felt that he was more important than having a child. I can't understand why you married him before thinking this through properly.[/quote]



Awwww, well aren't you delightful? Isn't this a support website? It is my God given right to have my Husbands child and if it happens that would be a blessing. Its not my feelings of entitlement that have me down. Its the reality of the situation that I am in. You're correct, I have consciously realized the chances of my Husband and I may never have children....... Read the title of this post that I started!!! I realize that everyone here is in a similar situation and that what I am about to say is rude but; I put this in the loving a lifer section because emotions change over an extended period of time. Things that weren't a consideration 13 years ago are now and most people can't fathom that. I came here for compassion and to vent my fears and frustrations in a place that is meant for support. Not to be attacked, so thank you for your two cents.
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Old 11-01-2012, 04:53 AM
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I wasn't attacking you. A support site isn't just for sprinking sugar and petals and saying everything is sunshine. I've received plenty of advice that I didn't like but hey I asked for it. What I was saying was NONE of us have a "god given right" to anything. Why should God owe us anything? I think it's very arrogant and spoilt to presume that God owes you anything, even your next breath! What I'm saying is when you don't feel entitled things seem easier, somehow when I let those feelings go I didn't feel as hard done by. I'm not saying don't have dreams or goals, I think it's great that you do. But they are goals and dreams, hopefully you will achieve them but it is NOT your "god given right" to do so.
Yes I understand feelings change and so on but as other people have said you have plenty of options. But when you married him you must have decided that he was what was most important to you and thus anything to come after that would be a gift. Dunno guess thats just how I look at things.
I read the title of your post, I am literate . But it came across as something you've just realized and I was wondering if you had considered it before marriage, that is all!
And I stand by what I said 100%, to have a child is a blessing not a "god given right" (btw hate that phrase) I hope you succeed in your endevour
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Old 11-01-2012, 06:00 AM
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I wasn't attacking you. What I was saying was NONE of us have a "god given right" to anything. Why should God owe us anything? I think it's very arrogant and spoilt to presume that God owes you anything, even your next breath!
Yes I understand feelings change and so on but as other people have said you have plenty of options. But when you married him you must have decided that he was what was most important to you and thus anything to come after that would be a gift. Dunno guess thats just how I look at things.
And I stand by what I said 100%, to have a child is a blessing not a "god given right" (btw hate that phrase) I hope you succeed in your endevour
Perhaps there is a miscommunication happening here. I don't mean right as in God owes me anything. I say God given right because people aren't suppose to have children outside of marriage. We are married therefore God gives us the right to consummate our marriage which may or may not result in a child that he may bless us with. So yes having my Husbands child is my God give right. Of course he is the most important thing to me, that is why people decide to get married, but it doesn't take away from my longing for a child. Nor my longing for a child take away my love for my Husband!
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Old 11-01-2012, 06:10 AM
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Perhaps there is a miscommunication happening here. I don't mean right as in God owes me anything. I say God given right because people aren't suppose to have children outside of marriage. We are married therefore God gives us the right to consummate our marriage which may or may not result in a child that he may bless us with. So yes having my Husbands child is my God give right. Of course he is the most important thing to me, that is why people decide to get married, but it doesn't take away from my longing for a child. Nor my longing for a child take away my love for my Husband!
Ah yes now I can see where we might have crossed wired here. I do get where your comming from now when you say "god given right" we obv use the same phrase just differently lol. it is a huge predicament obv you want a child and you want that child to be your husbands. It can't be easy for you, but you have hope. 34 isn't as old as it used to be but neither is 44.
Sorry about the missunderstanding and I hope you get your little bundle of joy one day!
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Old 11-01-2012, 06:26 AM
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Ah yes now I can see where we might have crossed wired here. I do get where your comming from now when you say "god given right" we obv use the same phrase just differently lol. it is a huge predicament obv you want a child and you want that child to be your husbands. It can't be easy for you, but you have hope. 34 isn't as old as it used to be but neither is 44.
Sorry about the missunderstanding and I hope you get your little bundle of joy one day!
I'm glad we got that straightened out thank you, I am sure we will be blessed with one someday. I wish you the best!!!
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Old 11-01-2012, 10:24 AM
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I was not trying to upset you in anyway. After 8 yrs on this site u cannot believe how many posts I have read by women talking about having a child as if it is like wishing for a new toy. When previous posts reveal no understanding of the huge responsibility that comes with children.
I have often thought that being a single parent would be one of the hardest things in the world to do and I am in awe of those who do this monumental task. I don't know that I would have survived with my sanity in tact.


Now I told u I understand this desire. Not one time did I attack u with my response. I find your response highly offensive and had I felt the slightest impulse to reveal the last 36 yrs of my experiences with this hell will freeze over first. Not that I expect you to be bothered by this as u obviously only want responses that don't present any different perceptions which is all I was trying to give u. Having a child is the most important decision a person can make as it involves more lives than just your own. I am glad to read that u r trying to consider all the consequences of such a choice. Unfortunately everything that goes with having children cannot possibly be understood until you've done it which I guess is a good thing or we would probably have zero population growth if everyone knew everything that goes with children. This is posted by someone that likes kids much more than people.

The only thing I will add on to this post is this: when he first went in it was with the death penalty, so I felt it a pretty safe assumption that we would never have children together!!!!!!!

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Old 11-01-2012, 04:10 PM
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I was not trying to upset you in anyway. After 8 yrs on this site u cannot believe how many posts I have read by women talking about having a child as if it is like wishing for a new toy. When previous posts reveal no understanding of the huge responsibility that comes with children.
I have often thought that being a single parent would be one of the hardest things in the world to do and I am in awe of those who do this monumental task. I don't know that I would have survived with my sanity in tact.


Now I told u I understand this desire. Not one time did I attack u with my response. I find your response highly offensive and had I felt the slightest impulse to reveal the last 36 yrs of my experiences with this hell will freeze over first. Not that I expect you to be bothered by this as u obviously only want responses that don't present any different perceptions which is all I was trying to give u. Having a child is the most important decision a person can make as it involves more lives than just your own. I am glad to read that u r trying to consider all the consequences of such a choice. Unfortunately everything that goes with having children cannot possibly be understood until you've done it which I guess is a good thing or we would probably have zero population growth if everyone knew everything that goes with children. This is posted by someone that likes kids much more than people.

The only thing I will add on to this post is this: when he first went in it was with the death penalty, so I felt it a pretty safe assumption that we would never have children together!!!!!!!

I understand that your intention was not to attack me but that is how I felt reading it. You are correct that I didn't want different perspectives on my situation. I came here for support and understanding that I thought I would get from people in a similar situation. If I wanted to feel attacked I could have brought it up to a random person on the street, or people around me. Or I would have posed it as a question therefore opening it up for discussion and debate. I apologize that I didn't convey the absolute devastation I am feeling about my situation in my post well enough for you to grasp. This is a "support forum" correct? As you know by your many years of experience dealing with this, the world can be very cruel! Is it wrong of me to want a little understanding? Is there a place that you know of where I can get that kind of support and not have to feel attacked when I am feeling so low? This was my first and apparently it will be my last post, I have never in my life felt this down. This was my cry for help, a hug, something, anything, perhaps some hope, a light somewhere so I don't feel so alone. I am sorry that you found my response so offensive as I wrote that was not my intention. I am attacked all of the time for loving my Husband by people close to me, I am very sorry for wasting my time here trying to find support. I wont make this mistake again! Thanks JBK's Girl for kicking me when I am already so far down!!
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Old 11-01-2012, 05:13 PM
Kbsles Kbsles is offline
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I don't post much anymore because I often feel like I don't have anything to add. I certainly was not trying to offend you, but as long as you have been with him I don't understand how you have not developed a thicker skin than this, because it is hard, and others don't understand it, hell, I often don't understand it myself.....other than knowing that he is my heart and that is what I hold onto.

I was so young when he went in, and the sentence so devastating that I could not wrap my mind around it.......I really had no other choice than to go on with my life.

I was in my mid 40's when we reunited and don't think that the thought didn't go thru my head about a zillion times about what could have been, thinking about having his child.....it simply wasn't meant to be. But I have kids, and while I would have loved to have had his child, I am blessed to have had children even with the challenges they have presented over the years which have been multiple and as my previous post attests, I am going thru the biggest challenge with one of them as an adult than I ever had when they were younger. The only reason I spoke of this was to let you know that having children is not always what people think it is, there is another side that nobody ever warns you about, and I love children, love them, I find them charming, endearing, so honest ( don't ask a child if you can't take an honest answer because they WILL give it, lol). Babies are the best (except when they won't let you sleep). But this forum wouldn't be what it is, if you didn't get all kinds of answers. I've learned more about different ways of seeing things since reuniting with him and being a member here than probably any other time in my life.

I try to only post when I feel like what I have to say will make someone think a little outside of the box so to speak, and to be supportive when I feel like my support might be helpful. Too many times on this entire forum the support given is kind of "fluff", and I don't mean that in a negative way, but when someone is really down and I have been there, then simply responding with "I'm thinking of you", for me (please let me re-emphasize "for me"), doesn't always help, but then I don't post much anymore looking for this kind of support.

As for not getting support out here, trust me, I get that....I don't get support for my relationship out here either, not from my family, not from his, and not from friends. When I look for understanding there is maybe one, two tops that I speak with, and they are from here. Now that's pretty sad isn't it? But when I've tried to share with those closest to me, it has not turned out well, so I keep it to myself.

I don't want you to not post here, I know PTO is often the only source of support, but I'm going to say this, and as an adult you should understand this, especially if you want to be a parent, you should not attack other people when they offer a differing viewpoint, sometimes its best to not reply when feeling that emotional, take time to breathe and rethink what you are trying to say (this goes for me as well), never assume you are getting the whole picture from one post.

Another thing that you might want to consider.....and I have no experience with this so you can take it with a grain of salt, but from what I've seen in that visiting room, children crying when they leave their fathers, if you are having a difficult time with this life, then how much harder would it be for a child to have a parent in prison, as hard as it would be to be a single parent and in essence this is what you would be, then how much more difficult to explain to a child where their father is and why.....I know people do it and do it successfully, but man....when society already tells us (their women) we are less than for loving them and standing by them, how much harder would it be for a child to bear up under this???? You would have to be a mountain of support for that child.

I do empathize with wanting a child, they are an immense blessing, and they are what held my feet to the ground at times when I felt like being totally irresponsible. I do hope that your future brings you what you want most. Perhaps if you focus on getting him out if that's a possibility for you, and putting your faith in Him that can move mountains and not here on this forum things will look up for you and perhaps even bring the miracle you are looking for.

Last edited by Kbsles; 11-01-2012 at 05:23 PM..
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  #23  
Old 11-01-2012, 05:23 PM
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I understand that your intention was not to attack me but that is how I felt reading it. You are correct that I didn't want different perspectives on my situation. I came here for support and understanding that I thought I would get from people in a similar situation. If I wanted to feel attacked I could have brought it up to a random person on the street, or people around me. Or I would have posed it as a question therefore opening it up for discussion and debate. I apologize that I didn't convey the absolute devastation I am feeling about my situation in my post well enough for you to grasp. This is a "support forum" correct? As you know by your many years of experience dealing with this, the world can be very cruel! Is it wrong of me to want a little understanding? Is there a place that you know of where I can get that kind of support and not have to feel attacked when I am feeling so low? This was my first and apparently it will be my last post, I have never in my life felt this down. This was my cry for help, a hug, something, anything, perhaps some hope, a light somewhere so I don't feel so alone. I am sorry that you found my response so offensive as I wrote that was not my intention. I am attacked all of the time for loving my Husband by people close to me, I am very sorry for wasting my time here trying to find support. I wont make this mistake again! Thanks JBK's Girl for kicking me when I am already so far down!!
MrsE - perhaps you should do a search of JKB's posts - she has been doing this a long time and is one of the most supportive members in the Lifer forum. Her posts are full of wisdom...... Sorry you feel attacked, but it's just not true.
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Last edited by Doll Eyes; 11-01-2012 at 05:26 PM..
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  #24  
Old 11-01-2012, 08:47 PM
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DaMeS_GiRl88 DaMeS_GiRl88 is offline
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my man isnt a lifer but my dad is am im pretty sure he misse the fact that he hasnt been in my life since i was eight he missed everything in my life and especially my brother and he left when my brother was a year old i know its really hard to miss a loved one who has life in prison but there is light at the end of the road
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Old 11-01-2012, 09:00 PM
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my man isnt a lifer but my dad is am im pretty sure he misse the fact that he hasnt been in my life since i was eight he missed everything in my life and especially my brother and he left when my brother was a year old i know its really hard to miss a loved one who has life in prison but there is light at the end of the road
I can only imagine that its devastating to you both! I am so sorry for what you have been through! Thank you for your encouraging words!
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