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Old 05-30-2015, 04:58 AM
stevenstone stevenstone is offline
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Exclamation BF going insane over sexual desires, GF has no sex drive in prison

I have been with my GF since september 2014 and she was locked up for prob. violation, 6 weeks into the relationship.

I have stuck by her throughout all of this terrible situation, and I have become obsessed with her being unwilling to talk dirty or make any effort to show desire for me now.

I am very good looking and as time passes the more and more difficult it has become, I want to be faithful and I tell her to please give me some since of reason to keep on turning other girls away.

It is going on 7 months since she was taken from me, I was devastated.

I didn't know the whole story and when we met i heard some of the details of her troubles with the courts, I later fell for her, she texted me and I rescued her from a shitty situation, being shunned by her family and forced to live and also by her own choice she basically was being abused by scumbags and she is kinda an emotional wreck due to all of her past battlescars of being suddenly homeless, her frinds set her up made off with 36,000 dollars and because she thought she was in on the scheme or really because her fear of being hurt by her assailants that were in fact her same two friends she took the wrap and is doing 28 months because she is stubborn and to prideful; to just tell the story of herself being played the fool by her robbers that got her at her job and made off with 36,000 that she never saw a penny of, and still owes restitution because of.

anyway, I didnt pry and I could tell that she had been beatin down by everyone that met her or knew her for the robbery she was setup in, so I neglected to ask, then we went to court, I was escorting her as if I was somebody to defend her that day, but to my horror I never had the chance to do anything, but watch the bailiffs kidnap her away to a nazi labor camp, and she loves me and I love her, the fact is, I'm trying like hell, to be faithful, I get excited by just talking to her and she is now in a good place that she can relax and talk a bit more freely yet she only does any dirty talk, if I imply the fact that I am dieing for some action but if she can just gratify with a few words I may slip up, it would really help my ego and confidence in her love for me, she complains and bitches, wines and calls relentlessly if I have friends over and she hears them in the backgrounsd during a call. I'm going broke over minutes and funding her, I am so unhappy because I want us to make it through this so very hopelessly endlessly much, I want to marry her we are good together and it was real love I know it is, but i just feel, powerless, and blue by every meaning of blue, get my drift?

I just need her to try to at least be happy I am willing to stay here waiting patiently as I can, but I just need to know I'm wanted and it seems like without her input, and expressed desire for me, it seems as though I find myself daydreaming about all the chances i've passed up on, and sometimes almost attempting to call and have another try from the latest hotty to want it. i am suffering and I feel selfish I am only human, and I try everyday, i give her 100% but what is fair to expect in return??

please help, and give advice to me please, I need a plan or I will certainly fail soon!

If you have dealt with anything like this you especially are who I want responding.

I would most definitely be so thankful of

Any Female Who has been locked up before, Can You please give me some insite to her lack of desire, and passion.

I know she is in a strange place with threats and fears, stress and no beers, or cigarettes to get her through, but why doesnt she have urges for me, I was locked up 7 days myself a while back, since she has been locked up, and no it wasnt any place that desire can be, but even with all my sad depressed and no drive was there when I was there, but still I didnt think of anything good while awake, yet still had a few sex dreams while there, about three or 4 days in I woke up with a messy situation to clean up, in my jizzzzyyy jumpsuit. sex drive intact, so is she normal or am I the strange one here





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Old 05-30-2015, 06:58 AM
CenTexLyn CenTexLyn is offline
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Not everyone does phone sex. It's that simple. She is in an environment where her taking care of self-arousal issues could also result in disciplinary sanction. There is NO privacy while on the phone and she may also not want people knowing her proclivities (which become readily apparent if phone sex is being done).

And, unless she was one to 'talk dirty' outside of custody, why would she begin doing so now?

It isn't much of a relationship if a few months away from a person you claim to care for has you considering cheating (and yes, that is precisely how this reads)...so go get a magazine and whack away.
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Old 05-30-2015, 07:12 AM
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dude, if you are that unhappy with the situation let her go.
Im not sure from what you posted but it sounds like you two have only known eachother for about 6 weeks before she was locked up?
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Old 05-30-2015, 07:52 AM
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All of your phone calls are probably monitored and recorded. Her issue might be not wanting to engage in sex talk with the prison staff listening. My advice is talk it out with her, and decide what to do afterwards.
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Old 05-30-2015, 01:58 PM
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.....To the OP, Don't feel bad, I'm in the same situation that you are in.....And we've known each other for 24 years (as friends).....And, it's not you, it is the environment and fear of being reprimanded.....When he was doing his 1st bid 20 some odd years ago....He wrote the most freakiest letters, I used to blush, even when I was in private, now, he's back on the same place, and he can't write those letters anymore cause the co's read them....We do our dirty jokes....But that's it, He also has his mushy moments when he wants to.....So, I say don't force it, It will come, in time.....
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Old 05-30-2015, 02:42 PM
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Dude, you are in the same place that hundreds and thousands (even some on this forum) are. You're either in it with her or out. If phone sex doesn't work for her (and you've read some of the reasons) or she's like me and doesn't tend to talk *dirty*, then all you're effectively doing is proving to her that your primary use for her is sex, not *herself*, and you're now into abusing an already abused woman.

Six or seven months without sex is not a huge deal. If you make it one, you will lose the relationship, and may well prove to yourself that you're not as nice as you think you are.
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Old 05-30-2015, 04:48 PM
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*just shakes her head and sighs*
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Old 05-30-2015, 08:36 PM
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Imagine having phone sex with her with someone you work with sitting three feet away, and a room full of people not much further away, having conversations and playing dominos. Is that something you would be super keen to do? It's not exactly a sexy time vibe in the dayroom.

I don't exactly get what your being "very good looking" has to do with your relative ability to remain faithful. Anybody can get laid if they want to badly enough.
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Old 05-30-2015, 09:12 PM
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You reading way too much into this. If it's all about you and your feelings your in the wrong relationship. Some things are not meant to be.
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Old 05-30-2015, 09:23 PM
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I'm questioning the sincerity of this post.

There's too many unbelievable aspects to it.
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Old 05-31-2015, 07:28 AM
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Hold on. She has been abused, she has been robbed. She has been suddenly homeless. She in now in jail and all you are worried about is why she won't talk dirty to you??? Seems to me you have your priorities ALL WRONG. REALLY???
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Old 08-05-2016, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenstone View Post
I have been with my GF since september 2014 and she was locked up for prob. violation, 6 weeks into the relationship.

I have stuck by her throughout all of this terrible situation, and I have become obsessed with her being unwilling to talk dirty or make any effort to show desire for me now.

I am very good looking and as time passes the more and more difficult it has become, I want to be faithful and I tell her to please give me some since of reason to keep on turning other girls away.

It is going on 7 months since she was taken from me, I was devastated.

I didn't know the whole story and when we met i heard some of the details of her troubles with the courts, I later fell for her, she texted me and I rescued her from a shitty situation, being shunned by her family and forced to live and also by her own choice she basically was being abused by scumbags and she is kinda an emotional wreck due to all of her past battlescars of being suddenly homeless, her frinds set her up made off with 36,000 dollars and because she thought she was in on the scheme or really because her fear of being hurt by her assailants that were in fact her same two friends she took the wrap and is doing 28 months because she is stubborn and to prideful; to just tell the story of herself being played the fool by her robbers that got her at her job and made off with 36,000 that she never saw a penny of, and still owes restitution because of.

anyway, I didnt pry and I could tell that she had been beatin down by everyone that met her or knew her for the robbery she was setup in, so I neglected to ask, then we went to court, I was escorting her as if I was somebody to defend her that day, but to my horror I never had the chance to do anything, but watch the bailiffs kidnap her away to a nazi labor camp, and she loves me and I love her, the fact is, I'm trying like hell, to be faithful, I get excited by just talking to her and she is now in a good place that she can relax and talk a bit more freely yet she only does any dirty talk, if I imply the fact that I am dieing for some action but if she can just gratify with a few words I may slip up, it would really help my ego and confidence in her love for me, she complains and bitches, wines and calls relentlessly if I have friends over and she hears them in the backgrounsd during a call. I'm going broke over minutes and funding her, I am so unhappy because I want us to make it through this so very hopelessly endlessly much, I want to marry her we are good together and it was real love I know it is, but i just feel, powerless, and blue by every meaning of blue, get my drift?

I just need her to try to at least be happy I am willing to stay here waiting patiently as I can, but I just need to know I'm wanted and it seems like without her input, and expressed desire for me, it seems as though I find myself daydreaming about all the chances i've passed up on, and sometimes almost attempting to call and have another try from the latest hotty to want it. i am suffering and I feel selfish I am only human, and I try everyday, i give her 100% but what is fair to expect in return??

please help, and give advice to me please, I need a plan or I will certainly fail soon!

If you have dealt with anything like this you especially are who I want responding.

I would most definitely be so thankful of

Any Female Who has been locked up before, Can You please give me some insite to her lack of desire, and passion.

I know she is in a strange place with threats and fears, stress and no beers, or cigarettes to get her through, but why doesnt she have urges for me, I was locked up 7 days myself a while back, since she has been locked up, and no it wasnt any place that desire can be, but even with all my sad depressed and no drive was there when I was there, but still I didnt think of anything good while awake, yet still had a few sex dreams while there, about three or 4 days in I woke up with a messy situation to clean up, in my jizzzzyyy jumpsuit. sex drive intact, so is she normal or am I the strange one here





Your S/O is in the worst possible place physically and psychologically. Google Maslow's Heirarchy of needs. You'll see that satisfying physiological and safety needs come before intimate relationship needs. She's operating in survival mode. It took my wife quite a while to adjust to prison (after she got the right medication) before she got back to some degree of psychological normalcy. Then we started talking about intimacy on visits and writing long letters about our wants and needs. Give your lady unconditional support now, even while you're suffering deprivation. She'll reward you for it later.
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Old 08-05-2016, 03:21 PM
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Wow you seriously come across like selfish scum. Get a dirty movie and a fake vagina and use your imagination. Seriously she is in an environment where she constantly has people around and trying to listen in on her conversations so of course she is not going to want to talk dirty to you. I am sure you have also not taken into consideration that she can suffer consequences or may not have the opportunity to pleasure herself after being sexually aroused for you. If you can't find a way to do it yourself and stay faithful move on an leave her alone otherwise keep it in your pants until your alone. if you can't break up with that girl and go screw your "latest hottie" and do you, but don't think we will advise you to cheat on or manipulate this poor girl to satisfy your perversions when you clearly are to selfish to understand her situation and mental and emotional state.
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Old 08-06-2016, 04:11 PM
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I always kind of thought the OP was trolling for attention to be honest....
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