Loving a Lifer vs faithfulness (physically)?

ericwife1978 · #1 11-07-2009, 03:14 PM

Hey Family(I mean that)!!!
I used to be a lifer wife, but my hubby gave back life plus 10yrs(with Feds),he studied his case hard, and found a crack, ANYWAY... If u are with a lifer, could u honestly say U'll be physically faithful, or is that even possible at all??? I here myself, and other ladies say how they'd never cheat EVER, BUT what if ur loved one had that BIG SENTENCE, do u think you'd feel the same,You never cheating on him??? Honesty is everything, if u lie here, you'd lie to ur boo, 'KEEP IT REAL'!

Peach&Cream · #2 11-07-2009, 04:02 PM

I believe marriage is created to glorify the Lord (not ourselves) I married my husband before the Lord and for the Lord - I don't answer to man, but to keep it real with this thread and myself there is no cheating done on my end.... then again, I'm only 29 years old and I'm still considered a newlywed - anything can happen. I can sit here and tell you until I'm blue in the face that I'd never cheat on my husband who is serving a life sentence, but life throws us many curve balls and we screw up.

I know my own heart and I strongly believe I would never cheat on my husband, but a wise woman once told me I could very well eat my own words one day... so rather than saying what I can and cannot do being a lifers wife ~ I let my actions speak for themselves... I stay away from people, places and things which could lead my eyes, mind and heart to deceive me.

If I have a change of heart, my husband and this forum will will be the first to know.

Now, prior to our marriage yes I cheated, Santino and I were not "committed", but it was something I never told him about - I consider that cheating someone of truth.

Good question by the way.

ericwife1978 · #3 11-07-2009, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Santino's_Peach

I believe marriage is created to glorify the Lord (not ourselves) I married my husband before the Lord and for the Lord - I don't answer to man, but to keep it real with this thread and myself there is no cheating done on my end.... then again, I'm only 29 years old and I'm still considered a newlywed - anything can happen. I can sit here and tell you until I'm blue in the face that I'd never cheat on my husband who is serving a life sentence, but life throws us many curve balls and we screw up.

I know my own heart and I strongly believe I would never cheat on my husband, but a wise woman once told me I could very well eat my own words one day... so rather than saying what I can and cannot do being a lifers wife ~ I let my actions speak for themselves... I stay away from people, places and things which could lead my eyes, mind and heart to deceive me.

If I have a change of heart, my husband and this forum will will be the first to know.

Good question by the way.

Such an awesome response I totally feel u on that, just take me for example, I've been faithful to my husband his whole bit, I never looked at his life sentence,only our love, my faithfulness has paid off,because he no longer have that sentence,and will be home in 3yrs or less(Feds laws changing, praying for retroactive,either way no more then 3 to go...). Just think if I woulda been lying to him acting faithful, and he pops up home only to be destroyed by all my lies, i'd never let that happen. He makes it clear he'd never replace me because im simply irreplaceable!!! Thanks again for ur response!!! P.S KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

Peach&Cream · #4 11-07-2009, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericwife1978

be home in 3yrs or less(Feds laws changing, praying for retroactive,either way no more then 3 to go...)

wow another lifer getting out, this is just awesome news, I'm getting so excited and feeling very positive about my term lifer now! Oh and yes of course your loyalty means more than words could ever say.

Rosr Mary · #5 11-07-2009, 07:18 PM

When I went into this he was serving life but got a MAPP contract and will be home in 31 months and 23 days

PTO-110524 · #6 11-08-2009, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericwife1978

Hey Family(I mean that)!!!
I used to be a lifer wife, but my hubby gave back life plus 10yrs(with Feds),he studied his case hard, and found a crack, ANYWAY... If u are with a lifer, could u honestly say U'll be physically faithful, or is that even possible at all??? I here myself, and other ladies say how they'd never cheat EVER, BUT what if ur loved one had that BIG SENTENCE, do u think you'd feel the same,You never cheating on him??? Honesty is everything, if u lie here, you'd lie to ur boo, 'KEEP IT REAL'!

Umm...you posted this in the Loving a LIFER forum, so I'd say that's a pretty BIG SENTENCE.

I've been faithful for over 6 years...easily. I have no doubt in my mind I will remain faithful, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Not everyone has to have sex to keep the love alive. In fact, NOT having sex tends to lead us to deeper, more intense relationships.

Congrats on your husband's re-sentencing.

StormChild · #7 11-08-2009, 11:28 AM

We've got a Life without parole sentence; I don't think the numbers come any bigger than that.

I can say with total honesty that I don't think I'll ever be unfaithful to my husband. I thought hard about the promises I made on our wedding day, and I made them with my whole heart. We didn't have an 'out' clause; I promised to love, honor and cherish him until death do us part.

Realistically, if I'm looking at another man with interest enough to get physical with him then my marriage is already in big trouble. I know from life experience that my body doesn't stray far from my heart, and if my marriage should ever end I want it to be with the same respect and honesty that we've had from the beginning.

Congratulations on your reduction!!! It gives me heart and hope.

fdwiest62 · #8 11-17-2009, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosr Mary

When I went into this he was serving life but got a MAPP contract and will be home in 31 months and 23 days

Can you tell me what a MAPP contract is.

MurphyGirl · #9 11-18-2009, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericwife1978

Honesty is everything, if u lie here, you'd lie to ur boo, 'KEEP IT REAL'!

Honesty is everything and if I am being completely honest I'd have to say that it's no one's business if the next person is having sex outside of the relationship!
What possible difference could it make in our support of them?

Ann

LovingGLJ · #10 11-18-2009, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosr Mary

When I went into this he was serving life but got a MAPP contract and will be home in 31 months and 23 days

Wow another one comming home SOON!!! YAHOO....

I'mTei's · #11 11-18-2009, 04:20 PM

Maybe it has to do with re-sentencing do to finding there was illegally obtained evidence. I know through out my law classes we studied delinquently the case of "MAPP vs. OHIO". A case where illegally seized evidence had to be suppressed and was not allowed in trial or should not have been allowed in trial.
JMO

Quote:

Originally Posted by fdwiest62

Can you tell me what a MAPP contract is.

I'mTei's · #12 11-18-2009, 05:54 PM

oops I meant delingently..lol

MikesWifey · #13 12-03-2009, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MurphyGirl

Honesty is everything and if I am being completely honest I'd have to say that it's no one's business if the next person is having sex outside of the relationship!
What possible difference could it make in our support of them?

Ann

I agree with you on this one

Lions Heart · #14 12-03-2009, 11:24 PM

I will be faithful to my husband. I don't feel as if I am missing out on anything because he fulfills my needs both emotionally and physically. No matter what I need he does everything he can to meet my needs. We have "dates" and they are wonderful!!!

Once I told him that the only thing I missed was the "after sex snuggling." He made arrangements to call me so we could have a "date" right before I was going to visit. It was perfect!!! ]

I will remain faithful to my husband!! This I have no doubt about! No one gives me what my husband does.

jeffsbaby · #15 12-06-2009, 07:38 AM

No one knows what the future may hold........ I agree with that. I do know myself and the love that I have for Jeff and his love for me. It does not cross my mind to not be faithful! Yes I miss certain things but, I ONLY WANT THOSE THINGS WITH HIM!!!!! He gives me more from in there then any man could give me out here. I gave my heart,soul,and my everything to him. It's not hard for me to stay faithful to him. We have our fun and I am content in our love. I don't want for anything. (only him coming home one day). My life is complete because he is mine and I am his!

sweetgirlb · #16 12-06-2009, 01:54 PM

I have never cheated on a man... if I ever felt I "needed" to step out, it would be out of the relationship entirely and there would be no infidelity.
Physical relations are in no way a substitute for what the heart holds.
The love I share with my man is not something I take lightly or treat like a commodity. He is a wonderful, kind and loving human being that deserves all the respect I can muster... anything less would be my own disgrace.

Cutty's_Girl · #17 12-06-2009, 06:32 PM

Congrats on your LIFERS coming home ladies. It gives me hope with my love. Be blessed ladies...

Cutty's_Girl · #18 12-06-2009, 06:33 PM

Congrats on your LIFERS coming home ladies. It gives me HOPE! Be blessed ladies...