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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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Old 01-14-2008, 12:50 AM
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Default Have you seen pictures of the other women?

I know he has pen pals, so I asked to see pictures of them. I didn't have to ask twice, he's mailing them out today. Now...I'm not that naive to think he wouldn't send all of them, but I was surprised he gave them up that quickly. He talked to me yesterday, since we've been on this honesty topic in the last 3 letters...I told him he had to come clean and send me the pictures and if he really wanted to get on my goodside, mail all the letters to me too. We'll start with the pictures of the pen pals.
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Old 01-14-2008, 01:51 AM
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damn if hes giving it up that easy he must not have anything to hide.
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Old 01-14-2008, 02:25 AM
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I have to agree that if he's willing to give up the pic and/or letters, then he's not doing anything he has to hide.

I had a similar experience with this about 10 months ago. However it wasn't with penpals, but his childrens mother. My bf and I had an agreement that if any other female wrote to him, other than his mother or sister, that I was to know about it. Well it took him about a month to even tell me she had made contact. And he tried to tell me that she just happened to write him out of the blue. Well that story lasted until I got the copy of her letter. It was obvious that she was answering questions that he had asked her. Now even though the letter showed no signs of anything shady, that there was no love lost between the two of them. I had a hard time dealing with this. Granted he lied, well not lied, but withheld the information of having written to her first. Until I just wouldn't let it go. We fought for about 2 or 3 months over this. I cut off his money, I wasn't taking his calls everyday. I felt like I just couldn't trust him. I wasn't here supporting him, emotionally and finacially, for him to go behind my back and write this woman. Again, I stress the fact that there was absolutely nothing nice being said between the two of them. But it made me wonder how many other times they had corresponded, and that of course he's only sending me the letter where she's telling him off. And then I asked him, "what if she hadn't said all that mean stuff, and instead said, I love you and the kids and are waiting for you to come home?" I know I NEVER would've seen that letter. His response was only that he KNEW she was over him and that her response to his letter was not going to be civil. Anyway, I'm rambling..I guess what I'm getting at is...I used to stress over EVERY letter he got, even from his family. I went looking for snakes and shouldn't have been surprised when I got bitten. I used to ask every single day, "did you get any mail?" and he knew what I was saying, I was always trying to find out WHO was in contact with him. Now that all this is behind us, I don't dwell on it anymore. I can't. To keep my sanity, I can't worry about what letters maybe coming his way. I love him, he loves me and we both deserve some kind of trust, respect and privacy.
I just don't want to see you have issues over all the words you may or may not read in the letters that he could send you. Just know that there's going to be things that you are going to pick a part and analyze until you're nuts. And if you're anything like me, I picked a part even the things that weren't said. But that I thought he was feeling. It was crazy. And then you're gonna have pictures too?..wow..I don't know if I'd want to see all those women. It would cause me to wonder even more things. But everyone is different.
Even though it seems like your man is being pretty up front with you on all his penpals. And the way it looks right now has nothing to hide. If you are at all a jealous type person, this could be pandora's box for you. I just would like to say..be careful. Good luck with your life and your man, I wish you both the best.

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