Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Parents with Children in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Parents with Children in Prison For the parents of prisoners

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-03-2018, 12:05 AM
Halo527 Halo527 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 81
Thanks: 188
Thanked 171 Times in 55 Posts
Default Stuck in a nightmare

I am stuck in a never ending nightmare of my son's criminal case.

We started out with a plea offer of 17 years. Then they came down to 14 years and 3 strikes. The judge didn't want my son to plead guilty to him, as he said he would end up with 17 strikes. So he said he thought the case was worth 12 and told us to go back and negotiate with the DA. Our lawyer told the DA we wouldn't take more than 10. He met with them yesterday and they won't budge off of 14. At 14 years, my son will be 33 when he gets put and will have spent 1/3 of his life in jail.

Am I crazy or does this DA seem to have it in for my son? He has no prior history. He is a first time offender. He was in the middle of a mental breakdown when this happened. He controlled himself and no one got hurt. I have found cases in this same court where someone committed a pre meditated and deliberate act of murder who got 10 years. My lawyer has a similar case in the court and his guy got two years. Other cases for the same thing are getting 2 to 6 years. I get that his behavior was bad and I don't disagree that he should do time, but 14 years seems so unfair and out of line.

This is one of these instances where the DA piled on the charges and feels emboldened because there are witnesses. And it is not a defendable case unless we try an insanity defense, but i understand that is very hard to prove. And the cost to go to trial is outrageous on top of that, plus if he gets convicted, he could be put away for 34 years! Who in their right mind would risk that?!

I always thought that the law was just, but it is not when we put so much power into the hands of a prosecutor. I mostly feel that this woman is incredibly cold hearted, jaded and unfeeling. Honestly, I think my son should just plead to the judge. Maybe the judge will give less than the 12 he indicated. And what difference does it make if my son has 3 strikes or 17? Either way, once he gets out, if he does anything wrong, he will face life in prison. Such a joke, how does any person ever overcome a prison sentence? The system is set up to make people fail right from the start. If my son can survive this, I'm going to take him to another state without 3 strikes

Any thoughts or advice on which way we should go from here based upon your own experiences? I am frozen and numb and cant think straight right now. Strangely, feeling numb is better than the constant state of fear, anxiety and sadness I've been living with since May 27th.

Last edited by Halo527; 03-03-2018 at 12:08 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Halo527 For This Useful Post:
Lordbew/us (03-03-2018)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 03-03-2018, 08:13 AM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is online now
Site Moderator

PTO Site Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 27,006
Thanks: 41,176
Thanked 19,987 Times in 11,681 Posts
Default

Even though he should listen to his lawyer, the ultimate decision is his to make. Prosecutors run America's criminal justice system, and their decision on what to offer a defendant is what you have to work with, even if it is awful.

If he is going to plead guilty, it's up to his lawyer to negotiate the best possible plea offer, and then present it, along with their recommendations, to your Son. The choice may well be that your son will be locked up until he is 33, but the alternative, if he goes to trial and loses, would add many extra years onto that.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to fbopnomore For This Useful Post:
Halo527 (03-07-2018), xolady (03-05-2018)
  #3  
Old 03-03-2018, 03:11 PM
tglsmom's Avatar
tglsmom tglsmom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1,679
Thanks: 4,301
Thanked 3,972 Times in 1,241 Posts
Default

What a horrible mess. I really feel for you and your son. I don’t have any suggestions on how you should move forward but, in our situation, my son already had 2 strikes when he accumulated multiple felonies in 2 different counties. He fortunately had a great PD who was well-liked by the prosecutor and he managed to plea down to 12 years vs. 25-life. Our son wanted to go to trial, but he definitely would have lost since the cops were claiming he tried to run them over (he didn’t because the PD showed us the video from the scene). Nevertheless, juries tend to side with the cops and he couldn’t take that chance. He pretty much took the first offer of a plea because he was afraid if he waited too long to make a decision, they would come back with a worse offer or the 25-life. I know that probably doesn’t help you, but it concerns me that you feel if he pleads to the judge he might get less than 12 years but, on the other hand, could he get more? That would scare me. I wouldn’t trust anyone at all.

For me, this was the hardest time of all – the fear of the unknown – and it certainly doesn’t help with the anxiety, etc. that we all feel at this time. Take a deep breath, take it a day at a time, try not to imagine the worst and trust that your son will make the right decision moving forward. I wish you both the best of luck.

Last edited by tglsmom; 03-03-2018 at 03:14 PM.. Reason: sp.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to tglsmom For This Useful Post:
Halo527 (03-07-2018)
  #4  
Old 03-03-2018, 03:20 PM
miamac's Avatar
miamac miamac is online now
Site Moderator Gone Mad

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: ORnativeAZresCAtied
Posts: 9,917
Thanks: 13,033
Thanked 18,912 Times in 6,820 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halo527 View Post
He has no prior history. He is a first time offender.[...] He controlled himself and no one got hurt. I have found cases in this same court where someone committed a pre meditated and deliberate act of murder who got 10 years. [...]
This is one of these instances where the DA piled on the charges and feels emboldened because there are witnesses. [...] plus if he gets convicted, he could be put away for 34 years! Who in their right mind would risk that?
Everything in the above quote applies to my husband, too. Went into a state facility at age 20 and he's now on his 16th year of a 37 year sentence in CA because he was offered a plea, it was pulled when the witness committed to testifying and went to trial. 7 years for the offense, 30 years in enhancements (total is actually 57 years but they stayed some and ran another concurrent).

I know that doesn't help you feel better about 14 years, but I wanted to offer this up because you're not alone and yes, some people are made into examples. Assuming your attorney has done everything they can, fbop is right-- it will ultimately be up to your son to take the plea or risk trial. And I know neither feels just or good. I'm so very sorry.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to miamac For This Useful Post:
Halo527 (03-03-2018), Lordbew/us (03-03-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018), Sarianna (03-04-2018)
  #5  
Old 03-03-2018, 05:54 PM
Halo527 Halo527 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 81
Thanks: 188
Thanked 171 Times in 55 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tglsmom View Post
What a horrible mess. I really feel for you and your son. I don’t have any suggestions on how you should move forward but, in our situation, my son already had 2 strikes when he accumulated multiple felonies in 2 different counties. He fortunately had a great PD who was well-liked by the prosecutor and he managed to plea down to 12 years vs. 25-life. Our son wanted to go to trial, but he definitely would have lost since the cops were claiming he tried to run them over (he didn’t because the PD showed us the video from the scene). Nevertheless, juries tend to side with the cops and he couldn’t take that chance. He pretty much took the first offer of a plea because he was afraid if he waited too long to make a decision, they would come back with a worse offer or the 25-life. I know that probably doesn’t help you, but it concerns me that you feel if he pleads to the judge he might get less than 12 years but, on the other hand, could he get more? That would scare me. I wouldn’t trust anyone at all.

For me, this was the hardest time of all – the fear of the unknown – and it certainly doesn’t help with the anxiety, etc. that we all feel at this time. Take a deep breath, take it a day at a time, try not to imagine the worst and trust that your son will make the right decision moving forward. I wish you both the best of luck.
Thank you.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-04-2018, 03:33 PM
SeekingJoy SeekingJoy is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Texas, United States
Posts: 45
Thanks: 152
Thanked 88 Times in 38 Posts
Default

Halo527, I feel for you and are so sorry you are going through this nighmare and I agree the DA has it out for him, so many of the DA's are like that, they have seen so much that there hearts are harden and just look at everyone as thugs that need to be put away.

And I too have a lot of anger for the length of sentences that my son has received for his actions compared to others that did bodily harm or murder to others, my son was for high speed get away (resisting arrest) and peddly thefts, thank God he did not hurt anyone. But I have seen others that have murdered or rape someone get less time than my son, so it is hard to not get angry or bitter.

But in your case, I am not in California; but Texas; but my experience in Texas is that sometimes the plea bargain even if it is 14 or 17 years is better as he may come out earlier and I have seen it too many times where people went to court thinking they would get less than the pleas bargain, but received more years. I don't know what to tell you, except that sometimes things that seem really bad are better than what they could be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halo527 View Post
I am stuck in a never ending nightmare of my son's criminal case.

We started out with a plea offer of 17 years. Then they came down to 14 years and 3 strikes. The judge didn't want my son to plead guilty to him, as he said he would end up with 17 strikes. So he said he thought the case was worth 12 and told us to go back and negotiate with the DA. Our lawyer told the DA we wouldn't take more than 10. He met with them yesterday and they won't budge off of 14. At 14 years, my son will be 33 when he gets put and will have spent 1/3 of his life in jail.

Am I crazy or does this DA seem to have it in for my son? He has no prior history. He is a first time offender. He was in the middle of a mental breakdown when this happened. He controlled himself and no one got hurt. I have found cases in this same court where someone committed a pre meditated and deliberate act of murder who got 10 years. My lawyer has a similar case in the court and his guy got two years. Other cases for the same thing are getting 2 to 6 years. I get that his behavior was bad and I don't disagree that he should do time, but 14 years seems so unfair and out of line.

This is one of these instances where the DA piled on the charges and feels emboldened because there are witnesses. And it is not a defendable case unless we try an insanity defense, but i understand that is very hard to prove. And the cost to go to trial is outrageous on top of that, plus if he gets convicted, he could be put away for 34 years! Who in their right mind would risk that?!

I always thought that the law was just, but it is not when we put so much power into the hands of a prosecutor. I mostly feel that this woman is incredibly cold hearted, jaded and unfeeling. Honestly, I think my son should just plead to the judge. Maybe the judge will give less than the 12 he indicated. And what difference does it make if my son has 3 strikes or 17? Either way, once he gets out, if he does anything wrong, he will face life in prison. Such a joke, how does any person ever overcome a prison sentence? The system is set up to make people fail right from the start. If my son can survive this, I'm going to take him to another state without 3 strikes

Any thoughts or advice on which way we should go from here based upon your own experiences? I am frozen and numb and cant think straight right now. Strangely, feeling numb is better than the constant state of fear, anxiety and sadness I've been living with since May 27th.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SeekingJoy For This Useful Post:
Halo527 (03-04-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018)
  #7  
Old 03-05-2018, 08:26 AM
sidewalker sidewalker is offline
CA, LASO, site sug. SUPER MOD

PTO Super Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ca usa
Posts: 30,395
Thanks: 53,215
Thanked 28,114 Times in 14,203 Posts
Default

I used to think that we had a justice system.
I no longer really think that way.
And when I read some of the stories on pto...I want to cry.

Ive gotten so jaded with all of it.
I dont think I could ever serve on a jury again. Not with how Ive seen some things go.

I do think there needs to be some *wiggle* room in sentencing, depending on alot of factors. But sometimes the stuff you hear?
JohnQ public thinks that the *criminals* skate on sentences.

To the op, Im so sorry. About the only thing I can say to you is, try not to compare crimes and or sentences. It will only make you angry and sad.
__________________
My windows aren't dirty

That's my dog's nose art

Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to sidewalker For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-05-2018), fbopnomore (03-05-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018), mommatrip (08-22-2018), SeekingJoy (03-05-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018)
  #8  
Old 03-05-2018, 02:51 PM
CC'sMom CC'sMom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Washington, USA
Posts: 948
Thanks: 105
Thanked 142 Times in 43 Posts
Default

I am thinking how justice is NOT blind. More often than not the sentence is too heavy for the crime. Other times, it is the opposite.

We are very well aware of how lucky our son has been. In 2009, our son was sent to Prison for the first time. He had a public defender which usually (generally speaking) means a longer sentence than it is fair. However, his public defender was excellent. Our son got 2 1/2 year which was fair. He served a little less than 2 due to good behavior. The crime he committed was a crime of revenge for he had been attacked first (the psycopath -- now in prison for life -- who injured him simply did not like what he said about women -- my son had just broken up with is girlfriend and had been drinking = no control of his mouth or actions) involved a hunting riffle which he used as a bat to hit the guy (a large, strong man) who had attacked him. Our son should have called the police instead. Anyways, the weapon enhancement charges were dropped during the plea bargain.

The second time (now) our son was sent to prison was due to similar crime. Four men stopped him because he was driving erratically in his own neighborhood. The police report states that our son apologized, but one of the men kept pressing. Our son drove home. Then decided he was going to confront those men while holding a sharp garden tool. The men ran away. No one was hurt or even touched, but one cannot threaten others. The charges amounted to 24 years to life. We still did not bail our son out, but we made the decision to hire the best attorney. The situation was looking bad because of the prior offense. This time the public defender did not look very sharp and we could not risk having our son in prison for that long when he had not hurt anyone. The possibility of my husband -- or I -- dying while our son was in prison, was very real so we hired a very good criminal attorney. Our son got less than 2 years with good behavior. It was a fair sentence but anyone who could not afford the attorney we got would almost certainly have received an unfair sentence. We are very much aware of it and it makes us sick to our stomach.

During all the ordeal with our son, my husband got very ill for 4 months and a day before our son's hearing my beloved mom passed away. We have barely recovered from all this, but our plans for the very near future is to join a local group that advocates for better laws in sentencing and for prison reform with the emphases on prevention and help availability to recently released inmates so that they have a chance at functioning on the outside.

I feel old and tired for the first time...

Last edited by CC'sMom; 03-05-2018 at 03:28 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to CC'sMom For This Useful Post:
Buttercream (03-05-2018), DisneyFan (05-03-2018), fbopnomore (03-05-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018), SeekingJoy (03-05-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018), trauma4us (03-06-2018)
  #9  
Old 03-05-2018, 03:54 PM
SeekingJoy SeekingJoy is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Texas, United States
Posts: 45
Thanks: 152
Thanked 88 Times in 38 Posts
Default

Such sad stories. I agree with prevention and reform. I just watched an documentary on 60 minutes last night on the prisons in Germany, they have a very different way of handling law breakers and their crime rate and re-entry is very low compared to ours. Per 60 minutes QOUTE BELOW:

"The real goal is re-integration into society, train them to find a different way to handle their situation outside, life without further crimes, life without creating new victims," says Jesse. "We cannot see the sense in just locking people up for their whole life. Your prisons will fill up and you'll have to build new prisons and so on and I think that was the situation in the U.S."


It was very interesting and pray that similar programs will develop here in the USA.

QUOTE=CC'sMom;7705915]I am thinking how justice is NOT blind. More often than not the sentence is too heavy for the crime. Other times, it is the opposite.

We are very well aware of how lucky our son has been. In 2009, our son was sent to Prison for the first time. He had a public defender which usually (generally speaking) means a longer sentence than it is fair. However, his public defender was excellent. Our son got 2 1/2 year which was fair. He served a little less than 2 due to good behavior. The crime he committed was a crime of revenge for he had been attacked first (the psycopath -- now in prison for life -- who injured him simply did not like what he said about women -- my son had just broken up with is girlfriend and had been drinking = no control of his mouth or actions) involved a hunting riffle which he used as a bat to hit the guy (a large, strong man) who had attacked him. Our son should have called the police instead. Anyways, the weapon enhancement charges were dropped during the plea bargain.

The second time (now) our son was sent to prison was due to similar crime. Four men stopped him because he was driving erratically in his own neighborhood. The police report states that our son apologized, but one of the men kept pressing. Our son drove home. Then decided he was going to confront those men while holding a sharp garden tool. The men ran away. No one was hurt or even touched, but one cannot threaten others. The charges amounted to 24 years to life. We still did not bail our son out, but we made the decision to hire the best attorney. The situation was looking bad because of the prior offense. This time the public defender did not look very sharp and we could not risk having our son in prison for that long when he had not hurt anyone. The possibility of my husband -- or I -- dying while our son was in prison, was very real so we hired a very good criminal attorney. Our son got less than 2 years with good behavior. It was a fair sentence but anyone who could not afford the attorney we got would almost certainly have received an unfair sentence. We are very much aware of it and it makes us sick to our stomach.

During all the ordeal with our son, my husband got very ill for 4 months and a day before our son's hearing my beloved mom passed away. We have barely recovered from all this, but our plans for the very near future is to join a local group that advocates for better laws in sentencing and for prison reform with the emphases on prevention and help availability to recently released inmates so that they have a chance at functioning on the outside.

I feel old and tired for the first time...[/quote]
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SeekingJoy For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-05-2018), Halo527 (03-05-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018)
  #10  
Old 03-05-2018, 11:46 PM
Halo527 Halo527 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 81
Thanks: 188
Thanked 171 Times in 55 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingJoy View Post
Such sad stories. I agree with prevention and reform. I just watched an documentary on 60 minutes last night on the prisons in Germany, they have a very different way of handling law breakers and their crime rate and re-entry is very low compared to ours. Per 60 minutes QOUTE BELOW:

"The real goal is re-integration into society, train them to find a different way to handle their situation outside, life without further crimes, life without creating new victims," says Jesse. "We cannot see the sense in just locking people up for their whole life. Your prisons will fill up and you'll have to build new prisons and so on and I think that was the situation in the U.S."


It was very interesting and pray that similar programs will develop here in the USA.

QUOTE=CC'sMom;7705915]I am thinking how justice is NOT blind. More often than not the sentence is too heavy for the crime. Other times, it is the opposite.

We are very well aware of how lucky our son has been. In 2009, our son was sent to Prison for the first time. He had a public defender which usually (generally speaking) means a longer sentence than it is fair. However, his public defender was excellent. Our son got 2 1/2 year which was fair. He served a little less than 2 due to good behavior. The crime he committed was a crime of revenge for he had been attacked first (the psycopath -- now in prison for life -- who injured him simply did not like what he said about women -- my son had just broken up with is girlfriend and had been drinking = no control of his mouth or actions) involved a hunting riffle which he used as a bat to hit the guy (a large, strong man) who had attacked him. Our son should have called the police instead. Anyways, the weapon enhancement charges were dropped during the plea bargain.

The second time (now) our son was sent to prison was due to similar crime. Four men stopped him because he was driving erratically in his own neighborhood. The police report states that our son apologized, but one of the men kept pressing. Our son drove home. Then decided he was going to confront those men while holding a sharp garden tool. The men ran away. No one was hurt or even touched, but one cannot threaten others. The charges amounted to 24 years to life. We still did not bail our son out, but we made the decision to hire the best attorney. The situation was looking bad because of the prior offense. This time the public defender did not look very sharp and we could not risk having our son in prison for that long when he had not hurt anyone. The possibility of my husband -- or I -- dying while our son was in prison, was very real so we hired a very good criminal attorney. Our son got less than 2 years with good behavior. It was a fair sentence but anyone who could not afford the attorney we got would almost certainly have received an unfair sentence. We are very much aware of it and it makes us sick to our stomach.

During all the ordeal with our son, my husband got very ill for 4 months and a day before our son's hearing my beloved mom passed away. We have barely recovered from all this, but our plans for the very near future is to join a local group that advocates for better laws in sentencing and for prison reform with the emphases on prevention and help availability to recently released inmates so that they have a chance at functioning on the outside.

I feel old and tired for the first time...
[/quote]

I also saw the 60 minutes show and was so wistfully wishing that my son could go to prison there. I am afraid of what my son will be like when he gets out in 7 years. Will he be a hardened criminal as a result? Will he give up at some point and commit suicide? Will he able to find a job? Will he return to crime because he cant? Will we be around to help him in 7 years? His grandparents will be gone. All the missed family events. My husband and I spent the day in disbelief and sadness and depression as the reality of a long sentence begins to set in. I expect we will be there for a while.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Halo527 For This Useful Post:
Mama33 (09-07-2018), Prisonparent (08-22-2018), SeekingJoy (03-07-2018)
  #11  
Old 03-05-2018, 11:59 PM
Halo527 Halo527 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 81
Thanks: 188
Thanked 171 Times in 55 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CC'sMom View Post
I am thinking how justice is NOT blind. More often than not the sentence is too heavy for the crime. Other times, it is the opposite.

We are very well aware of how lucky our son has been. In 2009, our son was sent to Prison for the first time. He had a public defender which usually (generally speaking) means a longer sentence than it is fair. However, his public defender was excellent. Our son got 2 1/2 year which was fair. He served a little less than 2 due to good behavior. The crime he committed was a crime of revenge for he had been attacked first (the psycopath -- now in prison for life -- who injured him simply did not like what he said about women -- my son had just broken up with is girlfriend and had been drinking = no control of his mouth or actions) involved a hunting riffle which he used as a bat to hit the guy (a large, strong man) who had attacked him. Our son should have called the police instead. Anyways, the weapon enhancement charges were dropped during the plea bargain.

The second time (now) our son was sent to prison was due to similar crime. Four men stopped him because he was driving erratically in his own neighborhood. The police report states that our son apologized, but one of the men kept pressing. Our son drove home. Then decided he was going to confront those men while holding a sharp garden tool. The men ran away. No one was hurt or even touched, but one cannot threaten others. The charges amounted to 24 years to life. We still did not bail our son out, but we made the decision to hire the best attorney. The situation was looking bad because of the prior offense. This time the public defender did not look very sharp and we could not risk having our son in prison for that long when he had not hurt anyone. The possibility of my husband -- or I -- dying while our son was in prison, was very real so we hired a very good criminal attorney. Our son got less than 2 years with good behavior. It was a fair sentence but anyone who could not afford the attorney we got would almost certainly have received an unfair sentence. We are very much aware of it and it makes us sick to our stomach.

During all the ordeal with our son, my husband got very ill for 4 months and a day before our son's hearing my beloved mom passed away. We have barely recovered from all this, but our plans for the very near future is to join a local group that advocates for better laws in sentencing and for prison reform with the emphases on prevention and help availability to recently released inmates so that they have a chance at functioning on the outside.

I feel old and tired for the first time...
I think it's one of the toughest things we can go through. Even though we hired the expensive attorney, the DA won't back down. On Friday we go to the judge for an indicated sentence, but I hold no hope that it will be better. Today I'm depressed and sad beyond belief. I can't concentrate. All I can think of is how is my beloved son going to survive this. My son can't talk to me, because I make him feel sad, just because I am so sad. It's heartbreaking to see him so scared and desperate. As mothers, we are fierce protectors and our instinct is to make it better, but in this case, I cannot.

So sorry about the loss of your Mom. I think of mine so often thru out this time. My mom would've been heartbroken for me. Now I cry for both of us. I feel old and tired too.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Halo527 For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-07-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018), Prisonparent (08-22-2018), SeekingJoy (03-07-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018)
  #12  
Old 03-06-2018, 03:18 AM
CC'sMom CC'sMom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Washington, USA
Posts: 948
Thanks: 105
Thanked 142 Times in 43 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halo527 View Post
I think it's one of the toughest things we can go through. Even though we hired the expensive attorney, the DA won't back down.

----I am really sorry about this. The judge listens to the DA's request as to the sentence but he/she does not HAVE to follow the DA's request. The judge has the last word in sentencing. In my son's case, the attorney contacted the "victims" and they unanimously agreed to the light sentence. The judge was informed of that and the judge was also presented with a well written letter by my daughter on behalf of her brother.


[snip] Today I'm depressed and sad beyond belief. I can't concentrate. All I can think of is how is my beloved son going to survive this. My son can't talk to me, because I make him feel sad, just because I am so sad. It's heartbreaking to see him so scared and desperate. [snip] ----- The first time, I was a nervous wrack because I had read a short book written by a former attorney who had been incarcerated in CA, New Mexico and Arizona prisons, for drug charges. He pointed out how dangerous it could be and had a chapter detailing on how to survive prison. I posted on prisontalk 20 or so bullet points on how to stay safe physically and emotionally while in prison. I sent a copy to my son, and he followed it to a "t." I resolved to take care of myself so that I could sleep better and be strong for my son. It helped that I felt less helpless when I wrote the long do's and dont's for surviving prison and sent it to him. I could not located the list on prison talk but maybe one of the moderators can. Let's see if I can remember:
1. Be sure to keep the first page of the court document that shows your name and what you were convicted of. The inmates will demand to see it when you first arrive in prison.
2. In the cafeteria do not just sit by someone. It might be considered an affront. [an inmate saw my son standing holding his tray and he told him to sit with him and explain why he could not just sit anywhere]
3. Do NOT let others see you cry. Do not show weakness.
4. Do not borrow anything. EVER. & do NOT LEND either.
5. Do not give your stuff or you will be seen as a mark.
6. Do not gamble. EVER
7. Do not run or walk fast behind somebody.
8. Do not talk too much. Listen more than talk. & Do NOT brag.
9. Do not snitch. EVER
10. Mind your business. ALWAYS
11. If there is a fight, walk to your cell and stay there.
12. Do not ever do drugs in prison. You WILL be offered some. REALLY SAY NO THANK YOU!!
13. Exercise, exercise, exercise.
14. Attend church services
15. Find out what educational courses you can take.
16. Apply to work in prison (kitchen, etc.)
17. Do not invite another inmate into your cell without first telling your cellie.
18. Read a lot.
19. Write a lot to relatives and friends.
20. Do your time in and not out -- meaning, do not call home everyday.
21. [I did not like this part and cannot advise anyone to fight] I am just stating what the book said: when challenged/tested by another inmate, Fight! even if you know you are going to lose. When they see you are too much trouble to be taken advantage of, you will likely be left alone. Giving in marks you as a victim.
22. Stay away from areas in the prison where you cannot be seen by many.
23. Grow a beard. Start before going in, if possible.
24. You will probably connect with an inmate or two who want to do time safely like you do. Just stay alert and be cautious with trust.

I was able to find this publication online. Eventually, you might want to read all of it, but start with Chapter 6, page 15. http://www.prisonfellowship.org/imag...ival_guide.pdf

So sorry about the loss of your Mom. [snip]
----- Thank you. No matter how old we are, when both parents are gone with are orphans.

I think of mine so often thru out this time. My mom would've been heartbroken for me. Now I cry for both of us. I feel old and tired too.
If this is your son's first time in prison, it is devastating for us and very scary for them (and us too) because of the unknown. This second time around, my husband, my son and I are not worried at all about his safety. His freedom being taken away and the stress of always being in a cell with somebody, is punishment enough, we hope. In the state of Washington, the prison is 100% better than the jail.

Please, keep me (and the group) updated on the development with your son. I hope the judge is one interested in not keeping the prisons overcrowded.

Last edited by CC'sMom; 03-06-2018 at 03:44 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to CC'sMom For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (03-06-2018), Halo527 (03-06-2018), lizlizzie2 (04-01-2018), mommatrip (08-22-2018), SeekingJoy (03-07-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018)
  #13  
Old 03-06-2018, 05:23 AM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 654
Thanks: 612
Thanked 806 Times in 359 Posts
Default

Our son has been in prison for over 3.5 years now with another 3 to go. This is his first time also. We too spent tens of thousands of dollars on an expensive attorney - our son pled guilty and bargained with the judge: first it was 22 years, then 17, 14, 12 and finally got it down to 8.5 years at 85%. No possibility of good time due to the crime..

Our stays out of trouble: he doesn't gamble, he leaves everyone alone, he goes to school - no jobs are available where he is so he is sooooooo bored.

He goes out of his way to leave everyone alone, very rarely talks to anyone except at visits. We are very fortunate to be able to visit frequently.

Things we've learned:

1. Always be polite to the CO's - they control your son's life
2. Follow all policies even as they change frequently
3. Get used to being "patted down" when you visit
4. My husband and I have chosen not to share much about our son's situation - be ready for lots of judgements
5. Have lots of money: its expensive to keep your son in prison - vending machines usually run $40-60 per visit, TVs for the inmates are $300, tablets another $300, video visits, phone calls.
6. Get used to bizarre behavior in the visiting room: swearing, yelling, etc.. Your life is very public in the visiting room.
Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to trauma4us For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-06-2018), fbopnomore (03-06-2018), Halo527 (03-06-2018), Lackingthepower (08-21-2018), lizlizzie2 (04-01-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018), miamac (03-06-2018), SeekingJoy (03-07-2018), sidewalker (03-06-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018)
  #14  
Old 03-06-2018, 10:39 AM
gvalliant gvalliant is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Costa Mesa, California, USA
Posts: 587
Thanks: 1,064
Thanked 1,195 Times in 491 Posts
Default

Many have not taken pleas and done worse. I know people who have not taken pleas, fought, dragged proceedings for years through different judges, different courts, different DA's and done much better. It is possible.

I am convinced we should not have accepted the plea offer my son accepted. You have additional difficulty over my situation in that I bailed my son so he was outside and received actual treatment while your son is in jail, getting nothing.

Your posts lead me to believe that your son is in a mental and emotional state where he may be incapable of making his decision even though it is his. Reality might be he relies on you and your husband to, in effect, make the decision because of that and he trusts and accepts what you say. Difficult position for a parent to be in. Prosecutors and courts and, unfortunately, the public don't care a whit about you and your son.

You come across as thoughtful and intelligent. You trusted justice, now you don't having learned the hard way. Now you come across as deflated and defeated. Understandably. I have a paperweight on my desk. It reads:

"Illegitimi Non Carborundum"

It's Latin. Kinda. A favorite of General "Vinegar" Joe Stillwell. Google it. I think it is applicable. A reminder of the strength it sometimes takes to live a life. Don't know what the right decision is, but try to keep your strength up whether you opt to fight or accept.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to gvalliant For This Useful Post:
Halo527 (03-06-2018), lizlizzie2 (04-01-2018), miamac (03-06-2018), SeekingJoy (03-07-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018)
  #15  
Old 03-06-2018, 06:27 PM
CC'sMom CC'sMom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Washington, USA
Posts: 948
Thanks: 105
Thanked 142 Times in 43 Posts
Default

Hi Gvalliant, I am not sure whose son you are talking about. I read all the postings, and I could not find anyone who implied they felt defeated or demoralized (which are close in meaning). Since my son got an incredibly light sentence, perhaps you are not referring to my son. And we do not bail him out. It would be a major mistake and put him in risk's way. Individuals with head injuries tend to self-medicate with alcohol (for anxiety) and cannabis (for depression) for those two conditions go hand in hand with traumatic brain injuries [TBI] (see returning vets and football players who suffered TBI). Medication is not appropriate in the vast majority of cases.

Again, I read the other mom's postings and I find some to be (like I was) worried and tired. But those mind states are situational and temporary and I cannot find any postings that convey they feel defeated even when things did not go they way they wanted.

This is a support group and I do my best not to project my feelings onto the participants in this group when they write in support or vent (which is incredibly helpful). I often tell my story because as Jancy pointed out to me in private, even when there are not many acknowledgment of our postings, there are literally hundreds of views. Thus, many more people feel validated than just the ones who reply or acknowledge the postings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gvalliant View Post
Many have not taken pleas and done worse. I know people who have not taken pleas, fought, dragged proceedings for years through different judges, different courts, different DA's and done much better. It is possible.

I am convinced we should not have accepted the plea offer my son accepted. You have additional difficulty over my situation in that I bailed my son so he was outside and received actual treatment while your son is in jail, getting nothing.

Your posts lead me to believe that your son is in a mental and emotional state where he may be incapable of making his decision even though it is his. Reality might be he relies on you and your husband to, in effect, make the decision because of that and he trusts and accepts what you say. Difficult position for a parent to be in. Prosecutors and courts and, unfortunately, the public don't care a whit about you and your son.

You come across as thoughtful and intelligent. You trusted justice, now you don't having learned the hard way. Now you come across as deflated and defeated. Understandably. I have a paperweight on my desk. It reads:

"Illegitimi Non Carborundum"

It's Latin. Kinda. A favorite of General "Vinegar" Joe Stillwell. Google it. I think it is applicable. A reminder of the strength it sometimes takes to live a life. Don't know what the right decision is, but try to keep your strength up whether you opt to fight or accept.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CC'sMom For This Useful Post:
gvalliant (03-06-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), SeekingJoy (03-07-2018)
  #16  
Old 03-06-2018, 07:49 PM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 654
Thanks: 612
Thanked 806 Times in 359 Posts
Default

Its very hard having your child in prison. Many of us have been dealing with this for years (many parents have been dealing with this longer then we have) - it does take a toll on all of us.

However, we all love our children and do the best we can under the circumstances.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to trauma4us For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-06-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), SeekingJoy (03-07-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018)
  #17  
Old 03-06-2018, 08:00 PM
Halo527 Halo527 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 81
Thanks: 188
Thanked 171 Times in 55 Posts
Default

My husband and I want to thank everyone for taking the time to respond to my posting. The advice is invaluable and it's great to have the benefit of your experience. We go in front of the judge for an indicated sentence on Friday, but we will not rush to take it and will think carefully about all of the implications. I will keep you all posted and may call upon you for further help. For those of you in California, we keep hearing about people who have committed violent crimes but are having their enhancements dropped. My son's enhancement is for a gun. I find it hard to believe that they would drop it, although no one had a scratch on them, the gun was fired in the air. Any thoughts on this? Thank you!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Halo527 For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-06-2018), fbopnomore (03-06-2018), gvalliant (03-06-2018), tglsmom (03-06-2018)
  #18  
Old 03-06-2018, 08:15 PM
tglsmom's Avatar
tglsmom tglsmom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1,679
Thanks: 4,301
Thanked 3,972 Times in 1,241 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halo527 View Post
I think it's one of the toughest things we can go through. Even though we hired the expensive attorney, the DA won't back down. On Friday we go to the judge for an indicated sentence, but I hold no hope that it will be better. Today I'm depressed and sad beyond belief. I can't concentrate. All I can think of is how is my beloved son going to survive this. My son can't talk to me, because I make him feel sad, just because I am so sad. It's heartbreaking to see him so scared and desperate. As mothers, we are fierce protectors and our instinct is to make it better, but in this case, I cannot. .
CC'sMom - I can't speak for gvalliant, but I think he may be referring to the above comments from Halo527. Taken alone, they do sound like she feels defeated but, from what I've read from her, she is just having a particularly bad day. We all have those bad days and, as a matter of fact, I still do and it's already been almost 11 years.

I think the main thing to pass along is for her to try to remain strong, despite the down times, and to never give up. I also have those times when I feel defeated, but I remind myself that if I let it get to me I am letting THEM win and I can't let that happen. She will learn this as she goes along, but the beginning is so, so difficult and the emotions are so raw. My heart breaks for her.
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to tglsmom For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-06-2018), gvalliant (03-06-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), mommatrip (08-22-2018), SeekingJoy (03-07-2018), sidewalker (03-07-2018)
  #19  
Old 03-06-2018, 08:30 PM
tglsmom's Avatar
tglsmom tglsmom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1,679
Thanks: 4,301
Thanked 3,972 Times in 1,241 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halo527 View Post
My husband and I want to thank everyone for taking the time to respond to my posting. The advice is invaluable and it's great to have the benefit of your experience. We go in front of the judge for an indicated sentence on Friday, but we will not rush to take it and will think carefully about all of the implications. I will keep you all posted and may call upon you for further help. For those of you in California, we keep hearing about people who have committed violent crimes but are having their enhancements dropped. My son's enhancement is for a gun. I find it hard to believe that they would drop it, although no one had a scratch on them, the gun was fired in the air. Any thoughts on this? Thank you!
I was just going to log off when I saw this post. I am in CA, but I don't have any info on dropping enhancements for a gun. I know that there has been some talk about it and some of the moderators are very up-to-date on this subject so I hope they will respond soon. You might also post your question in the CA forum. It might get more attention there.

In the meantime, I'll be thinking about all of you on Friday and wishing you the best of luck. Please let us know how it goes.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tglsmom For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-06-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018)
  #20  
Old 03-06-2018, 10:36 PM
gvalliant gvalliant is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Costa Mesa, California, USA
Posts: 587
Thanks: 1,064
Thanked 1,195 Times in 491 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CC'sMom View Post
Hi Gvalliant, I am not sure whose son you are talking about. I read all the postings, and I could not find anyone who implied they felt defeated or demoralized (which are close in meaning). Since my son got an incredibly light sentence, perhaps you are not referring to my son. And we do not bail him out. It would be a major mistake and put him in risk's way. Individuals with head injuries tend to self-medicate with alcohol (for anxiety) and cannabis (for depression) for those two conditions go hand in hand with traumatic brain injuries [TBI] (see returning vets and football players who suffered TBI). Medication is not appropriate in the vast majority of cases.

Again, I read the other mom's postings and I find some to be (like I was) worried and tired. But those mind states are situational and temporary and I cannot find any postings that convey they feel defeated even when things did not go they way they wanted.

This is a support group and I do my best not to project my feelings onto the participants in this group when they write in support or vent (which is incredibly helpful). I often tell my story because as Jancy pointed out to me in private, even when there are not many acknowledgment of our postings, there are literally hundreds of views. Thus, many more people feel validated than just the ones who reply or acknowledge the postings.
Hi, yes I was thinking about OP Halo527. She sounded deflated, I think tglsmom may have read things better; Halo was more having a bad day than defeated.

I read your posts. They hit close to home too, in particular your mom. We got bait and switch from our law firm, meaning they switched attorneys on us at the 11th hour, 3 weeks before his final hearing for taking the plea or not. I think they wanted rid of us. Amongst other things this final idiot lawyer did - 4 days before the hearing my mother died. 3,000 miles away in Toronto Canada. I call this clown, told him what happened and asked him to get a continuance. His response amounts to "don't worry about it, you go ahead, I'll take care of your son". I could not believe it.

So, I sat in court and watched my son accept his plea the day of my own mother's funeral. Didn't win any son of the year awards for that one.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to gvalliant For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-07-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), tglsmom (03-07-2018)
  #21  
Old 03-07-2018, 07:58 AM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is online now
Site Moderator

PTO Site Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 27,006
Thanks: 41,176
Thanked 19,987 Times in 11,681 Posts
Default

Yes, some lawyers are a huge mistake that unfortunately can't be undone. I'm sorry for what happened and condolences for your Mom's passing.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to fbopnomore For This Useful Post:
gvalliant (03-07-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018)
  #22  
Old 03-07-2018, 09:34 AM
CC'sMom CC'sMom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Washington, USA
Posts: 948
Thanks: 105
Thanked 142 Times in 43 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gvalliant View Post
[snip]
I read your posts. They hit close to home too, in particular your mom. We got bait and switch from our law firm, meaning they switched attorneys on us at the 11th hour, 3 weeks before his final hearing for taking the plea or not. I[snip]

I am sorry for your loss. I can truly empathize. It is hard enough to lose a loved one, but to experience that loss when a different kind of loss is happening at the same moment, takes so much emotional effort to handle that it takes a toll on us. At least for me was that way.



[snip] ... think they wanted rid of us. Amongst other things this final idiot lawyer did - 4 days before the hearing my mother died. 3,000 miles away in Toronto Canada. I call this clown, told him what happened and asked him to get a continuance. His response amounts to "don't worry about it, you go ahead, I'll take care of your son". I could not believe it.
So, I sat in court and watched my son accept his plea the day of my own mother's funeral. Didn't win any son of the year awards for that one.
A good attorney is the lifeline in our kids' cases. When we are stuck with a inept one, it is deeply disturbing. Like fbopnomore said, some bells cannot be unrung. Hope all goes well during your boy's journey.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CC'sMom For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (03-07-2018), gvalliant (03-07-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018)
  #23  
Old 03-07-2018, 12:09 PM
SeekingJoy SeekingJoy is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Texas, United States
Posts: 45
Thanks: 152
Thanked 88 Times in 38 Posts
Default

I also saw the 60 minutes show and was so wistfully wishing that my son could go to prison there. I am afraid of what my son will be like when he gets out in 7 years. Will he be a hardened criminal as a result? Will he give up at some point and commit suicide? Will he able to find a job? Will he return to crime because he cant? Will we be around to help him in 7 years? His grandparents will be gone. All the missed family events. My husband and I spent the day in disbelief and sadness and depression as the reality of a long sentence begins to set in. I expect we will be there for a while.[/quote]

Halo527. I wished the same thing for my son and all of our sons and daughters, I believe that a good majority of inmates here in the USA (not all but most) could be rehabilitated at a cost that would be cheaper to taxpayers in the long run and help ex-offenders not offend again and become valuable members of society. Most of them I believe have mental and or addiction problems that need addressed instead of being locked up, punished and treated like they are no good.

As far as your thoughts, I can tell you as a mother whose son has been incarcerated in prison 3 different times, I still have those thoughts. They, the family, and us can never get the time back and I know how sad it is when your son is never at family events, I feel like I have had to attend family reunions, holidays, etc. without my son, the majority of his adult life, so sad. And at times I have felt envy of others that had all their kids with them, I know that is wrong, I was glad for them, but angry that my son wasn't there. The only way that I have been able to survive on some days (not all days) is to replace my worried thoughts with good thoughts. As the good book says, there is power in words, so I talk to my self and say things, like God has a great plan here, I just do not understand it completely, but I put my trust in him. When I worry that he is not able to work, or not getting food, or is in danger, I tell my self that my son despite his stupidity out here, he can be and is very smart and full of wisdom in other areas and that God loves my son more than me and he will help my son achieve success. Other days I can get so depressed and feel overwhelmed by the time, the situation, etc., etc. that I can barely function - but I do, as I know we all have to choose to find our happiness even in very tough and sad situations. I would like to tell you that it get's easier and it does when you have some hope or a glimpses of sunshine; but until then for me it really hasn't. been easier, but you do learn to cope and hopefully you do not have to relive it again. As in my case, I thought we were on the down hill side, until it all happened again. And we were back where we were 10 years ago and that was a repeat of 10 years before that. Felt like I just keep on getting punched, my heart ripped out , ran over and beaten up. I believe CC's mom is the one that said I feel tired and old, I definitely can relate. I can give you a bit of hope that even though he may get a long sentence, he may only serve a fraction of it. My son's incarceration before this 12 year sentence was 12 years and he ended up being paroled in 6 years. And even this 12 years they have him eligible for parole in a year, so you/we never know. Your son may be out much sooner than the sentence he receives I am praying for you and so many other parents and their children, we all have different needs; praying for a rainbow of miracles! We all know it does not do any good to worry, I know that many of times in my life what I worried about did not happen and it normally happened a different way and in a different time. It all will work out, it just might not be in the time or the exact way we would like. I hope all works out well for you, hang in there and take care of your self.
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to SeekingJoy For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-07-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), lizlizzie2 (04-01-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018), Nadia_Au (08-17-2018), tglsmom (03-07-2018)
  #24  
Old 03-07-2018, 01:56 PM
tglsmom's Avatar
tglsmom tglsmom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1,679
Thanks: 4,301
Thanked 3,972 Times in 1,241 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gvalliant View Post
So, I sat in court and watched my son accept his plea the day of my own mother's funeral. Didn't win any son of the year awards for that one.

Maybe not, but maybe you should get father of the year award instead. Sitting there in a courtroom and seeing your son or daughter sentenced to prison is one of the most difficult things we parents go through. Your son needed you and you were there for him. I bet that your mother would have approved and understood why you couldn’t be at her funeral. Please don’t be so hard on yourself!
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to tglsmom For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-07-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), Hurley123 (03-08-2018), Itshardtowait (03-08-2018), lizlizzie2 (04-01-2018), Mama33 (09-07-2018), Prisonparent (08-22-2018), SeekingJoy (03-08-2018)
  #25  
Old 03-07-2018, 02:27 PM
MHDT MHDT is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: CA USA
Posts: 19
Thanks: 14
Thanked 21 Times in 10 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halo527 View Post
I am stuck in a never ending nightmare of my son's criminal case.

We started out with a plea offer of 17 years. Then they came down to 14 years and 3 strikes. The judge didn't want my son to plead guilty to him, as he said he would end up with 17 strikes. So he said he thought the case was worth 12 and told us to go back and negotiate with the DA. Our lawyer told the DA we wouldn't take more than 10. He met with them yesterday and they won't budge off of 14. At 14 years, my son will be 33 when he gets put and will have spent 1/3 of his life in jail.

Am I crazy or does this DA seem to have it in for my son? He has no prior history. He is a first time offender. He was in the middle of a mental breakdown when this happened. He controlled himself and no one got hurt. I have found cases in this same court where someone committed a pre meditated and deliberate act of murder who got 10 years. My lawyer has a similar case in the court and his guy got two years. Other cases for the same thing are getting 2 to 6 years. I get that his behavior was bad and I don't disagree that he should do time, but 14 years seems so unfair and out of line.

This is one of these instances where the DA piled on the charges and feels emboldened because there are witnesses. And it is not a defendable case unless we try an insanity defense, but i understand that is very hard to prove. And the cost to go to trial is outrageous on top of that, plus if he gets convicted, he could be put away for 34 years! Who in their right mind would risk that?!

I always thought that the law was just, but it is not when we put so much power into the hands of a prosecutor. I mostly feel that this woman is incredibly cold hearted, jaded and unfeeling. Honestly, I think my son should just plead to the judge. Maybe the judge will give less than the 12 he indicated. And what difference does it make if my son has 3 strikes or 17? Either way, once he gets out, if he does anything wrong, he will face life in prison. Such a joke, how does any person ever overcome a prison sentence? The system is set up to make people fail right from the start. If my son can survive this, I'm going to take him to another state without 3 strikes

Any thoughts or advice on which way we should go from here based upon your own experiences? I am frozen and numb and cant think straight right now. Strangely, feeling numb is better than the constant state of fear, anxiety and sadness I've been living with since May 27th.
I'm sorry you're going through this. My husband was offered 25 years. DA didn't want to give him less than that. This whole system is corrupt. My husband at first wanted to go to trial & fight his case. But he decided to just plead guilty because if he lost he would possibly never have a chance of getting out. He has been incarcerated since March 2015. He will be eligible for parole in March 2029. Laws are always changing & we are expecting the best but prepared for the worst. I wish you & your son the best of luck!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to MHDT For This Useful Post:
CC'sMom (03-07-2018), Halo527 (03-07-2018), SeekingJoy (03-08-2018)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
STUCK. I'm Stuck.. any advice? His_Cowgirl General Prison Talk 5 01-31-2015 03:55 AM
Am I Stuck? adam0787 Prison & Criminal Legal Help! 3 12-12-2008 11:27 AM
Stuck Between Two Men i'mstillhere When the Relationship is Over... 13 08-16-2007 03:11 PM
Are You Stuck? christ04 The Spiritual Connection 1 05-05-2007 06:22 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:52 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics