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View Poll Results: For what kind of crime would you NOT continue correspondence?
Robbery (house/building/bank/person) 14 4.40%
Assault/Battery 27 8.49%
Financial crimes (Embezzlement/Racketeering, etc.) 12 3.77%
Murder/Manslaughter/Homicide (or other crimes involving death) 82 25.79%
Drug Possession/Trafficking/Conspiracy/etc. (and drug-related crimes) 15 4.72%
Treason/espionage crimes 19 5.97%
Violent crimes (sexual crimes/rape/dismemberment but not resulting in death) 213 66.98%
Arson/Recklessness/Mayhem (damage to property but not necessarily to people) 17 5.35%
Too many factors involved to come to a decisive answer 52 16.35%
Depends on the crime/circumstances/external influences 89 27.99%
Other crime not listed (please post if able) 39 12.26%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 318. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-21-2012, 12:12 AM
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Yes. I don't mess with murderes or Child Molestors/killers under no circumstances.
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Old 07-13-2012, 04:36 PM
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I could never find it in my heart to write someone who committed murder, especially not one who did it in a brutal way (torture). If somebody murdered someone in my family and i later found out the killer was receiving support mail from a PP i would be livid and torn up inside. i refuse to involve myself with that situation.

Child molesters/abusers are a no go. I have a little boy and would never support someone who could potentially be a threat to my child regardless of the distance. I just couldn't support that kind of behavior.

Domestic violence. I have put several domestic charges on my father. He will never change and neither will anyone else with that charge. I refuse to condone that type of behavior.

Rapists. Its a subject that disgusts me. I'll leave that at that.

Thats about it. I like to have an open mind but those few things are crossing the line.
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Old 07-13-2012, 07:30 PM
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Because I am not looking for anything more then a mail based friendship, I don't really take crimes into account. I do try to find those I think might need a friends the most and see if we click.
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Old 07-14-2012, 07:38 AM
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No, I don't take the crime into consideration when writing a penpal.
I have been writing to one of my penpals for 5 years now and I consider him my best friend, he is on death row for murdering a child, but I know the story behind it and I am so glad I chose to ignore what it said on the internet and let him tell his side of the story.
Becoming a pelpal to prisoners has learned me not to judge, because sometimes it only takes 1 moment, 1 bad decision, 1 bad friend, 1 drink or 1 shot of drugs to ruin your life and be labeled murder or sex offender or child killer.
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:11 PM
Nyxabel Nyxabel is offline
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Default Do you ever think of their crime?

I was reading an interview with a girl who is penpals with Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker) and the friendship she had developed with him and most of the comments were "how can you write to such a terrible person? he's inhuman!" and all that. It got me to thinking about A, and how while he is a "violent offender" I know he's far from being a terrible person and the thought never even popped into my head about him being "terrible" before we started writing, and I know I don't see him like that now!

Did you ever have doubts about a PP because of their crime (specifically violent offenders) before you got to know them, or did it not even enter your mind when you started writing? If you found out that your PP was "the next Ted Bundy" and did a lot of terrible things after you'd established a close connection with him/her, would it change your views on them as a person?

No offense intended to anyone with this topic, it was just something that I started thinking of and wanted some other opinions! (I saw another thread with a similar topic but that one seemed more like it was about what charges you absolutely could not write to before establishing a connection. If I was wrong, feel free to delete this!)
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:32 PM
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Murder & violent crimes
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Old 10-18-2012, 12:12 PM
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I don't divide by crime's name on their record.

Even petty crime,If they treat me like their thing,
I don't write never again.

Even his earlier crime is rape,if he has history kept molested by his family member,I cannot blame him and I can be friend with him.(actually became friend)

illusionist:this post is from iPhone

Life is learning..especially for me(on training)
Also sorry for long absence!!
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Old 10-20-2012, 05:47 PM
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I realized I'm a little afraid to write to inmates that did violent crimes against women and children, like rape. I'm afraid when they are released I could be their next victim. I wish I didn't feel that way and could have a more open mind. I read these types of criminals are the hardest to rehabilitate though. I also know people say the chances are low an inmate will go looking for a penpal, but you never know.
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Old 11-05-2012, 01:22 AM
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I was always thinking I would not write to pedophiles, murderers or someone who is serial killer or who's crime shows she/he likes to hurt other people, like torture them. Accidentally I did write to one who was convicted for having child porn on his computer, but I did continue writing with him. Well, I did till I fell in love with my second exception, murderer...

I wrote to A despite he is a convicted murderer. I really did not understand why I did, but it was just meant to be. From the first letter I knew there was something different in him, the way he wrote to me, it was like actually having a conversation with him and the way we have communicated ever since. He is the sanest person I have ever met, when in fact many of my ex-pen pals with lesser crimes proved to be unstable and untrustworthy. I did have great pen pals too, but my point is you newer know till you get to know to person what he/she is really like.

I still advice everyone to be smart. You have your common sense, use it :-)

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Old 12-15-2012, 09:48 PM
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I personally stay away from sexual crimes, crimes against children, arson, and murder! I wrote 2 prisoners back in 2005 who were in for murder by life took a turn for me so I stopped talking to them and I actually just reached out to them in the last week!

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Old 12-16-2012, 06:48 AM
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MissTrucking - Just curious what made you stop talking to your pals?
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Old 12-16-2012, 11:02 PM
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I will not write a sex offender. I am ok with other people writing them, but it is just not something I am comfortable with! To each their own thought
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Old 01-25-2013, 09:46 AM
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Violent crimes and sex crimes fall into two different categories... My man is considered a violent offender but he didn't do a sex crime.

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” ~ Edgar Allan Poe
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Old 04-19-2013, 02:06 PM
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at the beginning i thought i would make crime into consideration but after writing a penpal that commited murder.. ithink it really depends on the siutation of each person and how the crime was committed. I like to see how they view it. it just all depends i think .
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Old 04-25-2013, 11:25 PM
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I would never consider writing a rapist or child molestor. One thing is doing a crime because you´re stupid, but when it comes to sex-crimes it´s almost impossible for someone to stop WANTING their fix. I know how strong sexual desires can be, and even though I know therapy can do a lot when it comes to prevent new crimes, I wouldn´t like having a friend who I knew would dream about doing that.

My penpal committed murder at a very young age. A robbery that went wrong. His profile caught my eye, because he admitted his crime, and being an idiot when he was younger. I liked his honesty and sent him a letter.

I wouldn´t write to anyone who claimed to be innocent. I don´t have the time, nor the empathy to cry over injustice. It would just create too much drama in my life, I think.
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Old 05-12-2013, 09:43 AM
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If I was asked this question this time last year I'd have said I'd only write to people convicted of minor crimes, but nothing along the lines of assault/murder/rape. Now I have a penpal who's in for assault and another in for murder. I'm very protective of J, who's in for life for murder. I wouldn't say no to writing to someone in for rape but it would depend on the circumstances. Back to the question I don't think I could write to someone who's in for a crime against any vulnerable group of society, especially children.
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Old 05-12-2013, 12:03 PM
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I don't think I could write to someone who was a pedophile or a rapist. I would consider writing to a murderer though and my current pp is in for attempted murder.
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Old 05-12-2013, 01:12 PM
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Any & all sex crimes, is a HUGE no-no for me. Things that happened to me personally prohibit me from the ability to not be judgmental. Also anything having to do with children, sorry but once I became a mother... I can't see someone abusing the innocence of a child, that will affect them the rest of their lives.

Just me, my preference
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:36 PM
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In my personal opinion, I would not write to someone in for rape, pedophilia, torture, dismemberment and anyone charged with spree killings (no idea what category that is)- people like James Holmes or the Boston bomber.
I can understand murder to a degree there is always motive whether financial gain, personal gain, revenge, betrayal etc but killing innocent people who have never wronged you, I simply can't comprehend.
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Old 05-12-2013, 11:27 PM
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i will not write someone that is a child killer,pedophile,serial killer,rapist whether the rape victim was an adult or a child.i will not write someone like the terrorists from 9-11,the boston bomber or the low life that was recently caught for kidnapping and torturing those 3 girls in cleveland ohio. i check to see the crimes in case they are lying on the pen pal site. i don't have a problem with writing people locked up for murder for peronal gain,money,revenge, etc. like shadyz gurl says.

Last edited by Deirdre13; 05-12-2013 at 11:29 PM..
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Old 06-16-2013, 08:27 AM
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I don't write PP letters to anyone whose crime made it to google. Ha! Sounds funny, but if I google their name and first thing that comes up is news about what they did, that's too much.

I also cut a wide row around men who have histories of violence towards women. That's a personal thing born of a violent marriage.

Last edited by Marseille; 06-16-2013 at 08:27 AM.. Reason: typo
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Old 06-16-2013, 12:11 PM
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usually i dont look at the crimes of my pen pals.i try not to be judgmental .....i prefer to write to very intelligent inmates and the old ones who are the most in need.
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Old 06-16-2013, 06:05 PM
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No I don't really care. I am usually willing to look past whatever their charges are.
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Old 07-26-2013, 09:01 AM
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at first, i would only write to men who were in there for light crimes.
now, i don't care too much. i don't think i would write a child molestor.
i do have a pen pal who murdered his son. he was high on meth when he
did it. meth makes people crazy. i feel bad for him having to go through life
having done what he did. i see the person he is now. i don't judge.
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Old 08-11-2013, 08:42 PM
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Originally Posted by 1507 View Post
I do take their crime into account before writing. But if I had started writing already and something I wasn't aware of came up in conversation, I wouldn't STOP writing if I got along well with the person. This has happened to me in the past, before I knew better than to "respect" the inmate's privacy and not check him out before hand.

I won't write to anyone convicted of a sex crime, or any crime against a child.

I prefer to write to lifers, so I can deal with murder, but I do want to know the circumstances. I wouldn't write to anyone who killed their parents/spouse/child for money and I also have no interest in serial killers.

I also feel strongly about not writing to anyone who claims to be innocent. If I see anything like that mentioned in an ad I'll move on without thinking twice. Chances are they're not really innocent, the majority of people in prison aren't, and I refuse to base a friendship on lies/manipulations.
I'm interested in potentially being a pen pal to a guy in for murder. However, I have been unable to find out any information on the circumstances. I would rather know before hand, but at this point, it looks like I may need to go ahead, send a letter, and just ask. His ad seems sincere, but only time will tell.
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